Ever found yourself stuck in a never-ending cycle of scrolling through social media, looking for a well-needed distraction, only to realize that you haven’t even cracked a smile? Yeah, we’ve been there. The web is jam-packed with content, but not all of it gets a chuckle out of us, right?
So, what’s this list of jokes for teens all about? Simple. It’s for those moments when you just want to have a good laugh. No life lessons here, no preaching — just straight-up humor.
Maybe you’re cramming for an exam and need a mental break. Perhaps you’re hanging out at a friend’s house and need something during those moments of comfortable silence. Or, hey, maybe you’re an adult tasked with entertaining a group of teens, and you don’t want to bomb. No worries, we’ve got you covered with funny jokes for teens that are just the right amount of hilarious.
We’ve got jokes that are short, sweet, and right to the point, covering all the angles of teenage life. So go ahead, take a look, and upvote the best jokes so that your comrades won’t have to scroll aaaaaaalllll the way down. Regardless of your reason for being here, this list is your ultimate go-to for all things funny!
#1
How do you know when you’re desperate for an answer?
You look at the second page of Google search results.
#2
What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
#3
What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don’t know, and I don’t care.
#4
Why can’t dinosaurs clap their hands?
Because they’re extinct.
#5
I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger.
Then it hit me.
#6
What do you call hiking U.S. college students?
The walking debt.
#7
Are you free tomorrow?
No, I’m expensive. Sorry.
#8
Why did God supposedly make men before He made women?
Because everyone needs a rough draft.
#9
Why was the Maths book sad?
It had too many problems.
#10
My boss told me yesterday, “You shouldn’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want.”
But when I turned up today in Ghostbusters clothes, he said I was fired.
#11
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
#12
What should you do when no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep going until you get a reaction.
#13
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it go!
#14
What animal is the worst at hiding?
The leopard — he’s always spotted.
#15
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reali-tea.
#16
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
#17
I sold my vacuum the other day. All it was doing was collecting dust.
#18
Why do pirates have to learn the alphabet?
If they don’t, they’ll be lost at C.
#19
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple.
#20
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It’s okay. He woke up.
#21
What do you call a Minecraft meetup IRL?
A block party.
#22
Why are spiders such know-it-alls?
They’re always on the web.
#23
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Look for the fresh prints.
#24
A lot of people cry when they cut an onion. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
#25
Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
#26
What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married?
Feyoncè.
#27
I thought I’d tell you a brilliant time-travel joke, but you didn’t like it.
#28
A science teacher tells his class, “Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773.” A boy responds, “Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it.”
#29
Can February March?
No, but April May.
#30
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything.
#31
I thought my neighbours were lovely people. Then they went and put a password on their wi-fi.
#32
What side of a turkey has the most feathers?
The outside.
#33
What kind of music do balloons hate?
Pop.
#34
What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?
An envelope.
#35
How did the bullet lose its job?
It got fired.
#36
What did the man say when he walked into a bar?
Ouch!
#37
Why do teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can’t even.
#38
What does a high school basketball player and a jury have in common?
The Court.
#39
I think my algebra teacher is a pirate. All she ever wants to do is find X.
#40
How does the moon cut its hair?
E-clipse it.
#41
Why did the selfie go to prison?
It was framed.
#42
Which hand is better to write with?
Neither. It’s better to write with a pencil!
#43
What do you call the horse that lives next door?
Your neighbor!
#44
How do you drown a hipster?
In the mainstream.
#45
Were any famous men and women born on your birthday?
No, only babies.
#46
What do you call high school kids who haven’t been able to go to school because of COVID-19?
Quaranteens.
#47
How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
Shocked!
#48
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
#49
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
#50
What is the witch’s favorite school subject?
Spelling!
#51
What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef, but no one can pee soup.
#52
Why do pimples make horrible prisoners?
Because they keep breaking out!
#53
What do you call an old snowman?
A puddle.
#54
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course! The Empire State Building can’t jump!
#55
What are two things you can’t have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner.
#56
Did you hear about the guy writing a construction book?
He’s still working on it.
#57
What do computers eat for a snack?
Microchips!
#58
Why did Harry Potter suddenly go bald in his teens?
He lost his Hedwig.
#59
What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
Snow.
#60
Why’d the elementary students look up to the high schoolers?
Because they’re smaller, they don’t have a choice.
#61
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
#62
Why shouldn’t you worry about passing math?
Because it’s easy as pi.
#63
What did the baby corn say to the mom corn?
“Where’s popcorn?”
#64
Why do sharks swim in saltwater?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
#65
What did one plate say to the other?
Dinner is on me!
#66
What is a cow without a map?
Udderly lost.
#67
Why did the cookie go to the nurse?
Because he felt crummy!
#68
Some kids told me they’d give me $20 to hang out with them. Turns out it was just clique bait.
#69
What do you call a Star Wars droid that takes the long way around?
R2-Detour.
#70
What did the grape say when he was pinched?
Nothing, he gave a little wine.
#71
What do you get when you mix sulfer, tungsten, and silver?
SWAG.
#72
What did one light bulb say to the other?
Watt’s up?
#73
The wedding was so beautiful. Even the cake was in tiers.
#74
What is 97 + 41 + 42 + 164 + 91 + 7?
A headache.
#75
Have you heard where the word “studying” came from?
Students-dying.
#76
What book won’t teachers give you credit for reading?
Facebook.
#77
What do you give a sick lemon?
Lemon aid.
#78
Where do cats go to swim?
The kitty pool.
#79
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
#80
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line.
#81
What is a ninja’s favorite kind of shoes?
Sneakers.
#82
Why are eggs bad at telling jokes?
They always crack each other up.
#83
What do you call a 12-inch nose?
A foot.
Image source: unknown
#84
What is red, orange, and full of disappointment?
High school pizza.
#85
I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.
#86
What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt!
#87
What kind of room doesn’t have doors?
A mushroom!
#88
What did one DNA strand say to the other?
Does my bum look good in these genes?
#89
I wanted to buy a camouflage outfit, but I couldn’t find any.
#90
I tried writing with a broken pencil, but it was pointless.
#91
Why did the man fall down the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
#92
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
“Put it on my bill.”
#93
What did the middle schooler say to the high schooler?
Nothing, they texted.
#94
What do pre-teen ducks hate?
Voice quacks.
#95
What did the punching bag say to the boxer?
Hit me baby one more time.
#96
Why was the math book bummed?
It had a lot of problems.
#97
What’s the difference between the ACT and SAT?
One letter.
#98
Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed some space.
#99
Why did the period tell the comma to stop?
It was the end of the sentence.
#100
What gets sharper the more you use it but dull if you don’t use it at all?
Students.
#101
What are the most popular perfumes for ages 12 to 18?
Adolescents.
#102
Can you put the cat out?
Why, is it on fire?
#103
Why do rappers need umbrellas?
Fo’ drizzle.
#104
What has two legs but can’t walk?
A pair of jeans.
#105
How do you make a lemon drop?
Just let go of it!
#106
What did one hat say to the other?
Stay here, I’m going on ahead.
#107
Why did the boy throw his clock out the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly!
#108
Did you get your hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
#109
What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A little hoarse.
#110
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because it has a silent pee.
#111
What does a school and plant have in common?
STEM.
#112
What can you catch but not throw?
Your breath.
#113
Where do fish keep their money?
In the river bank!
#114
Why did Adele cross the road?
To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
#115
How do wicked chickens reproduce?
They lay deviled eggs.
#116
What did the traffic light say to the truck?
Don’t look! I’m changing!
#117
Where do cows go on Friday nights?
The moo-vies!
#118
Why is the obtuse angle sad?
Because it’s never right.
#119
What happened with Dracula when meeting a snowman?
They got frostbite.
#120
Why do all judges get As in English class?
Because they know all about sentences.
#121
What do you call a pooch in heat?
Hot dog.
#122
What do you call a dog that can tell time?
A watch dog!
#123
Why don’t history teachers want to teach about the Middle Ages?
It takes too many knights.
#124
What do you call an old snowman?
A creek.
#125
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot!
#126
What did one wall say to the other wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner.
#127
How do mountains stay warm in winter?
Snowcaps.
#128
What did the French teacher say to the class?
I don’t know. I couldn’t understand her.
#129
Why did the boy run around his bed?
Because he was trying to catch up on sleep.
#130
What is the resemblance between a green apple and a red apple?
They’re both red except for the green one.
#131
I’m a photographer of myself. You could say I’m selfie-employed.
#132
What do you call a slender cow?
Lean beef.
#133
Why does ice cream get invited to every party?
Because it’s cool and sweet.
#134
How do you survive a deadly clown attack?
Go straight for the Juggalo.
#135
What stays in a corner but can travel the world?
A postage stamp.
#136
What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
#137
What do you call a rash on a pig?
Hogwarts.
#138
What fruit tease people a lot?
Ba-na, na, na, na…na!
#139
Where do fruits go on vacation?
Pearis.
#140
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
#141
What do you call The Weeknd from Friday to Monday?
The Long Weeknd.
#142
What do you call a grizzly with bad teeth?
A gummy bear.
#143
What animal needs to wear a wig?
A bald eagle!
#144
Boys: We rule because God made us first! God made you girls last!
Girls: Well, obviously God made a rough draft before a final copy.
#145
What kind of hair does the ocean have?
Wavy.
#146
What do yo call a vegan post-punk band?
Soy Division.
#147
Why did the elephant paint himself different colors?
So he could hide in the crayon box!
#148
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
Where is pop corn?
#149
What did the grape say when he was pinched?
Nothing, he gave a little wine.
#150
Why did the period tell the comma to stop?
It was the end of the sentence.
Follow Us
