We all know first dates can be awkward… but what’s the fastest way to completely ruin one? You’ve got 60 seconds—what do you say to make it go downhill instantly?
#1
May I introduce you to my mum? She’s here, on the table next to us…. Hi Mom!
#2
Does this rag smell of chloroform?
#3
I’ve learned so much from Andrew Tate.
#4
“Do you have a minute to talk about our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ?”
Nope, I don’t. My coven demands immediate attention 😂
#5
“So just you know, I have been drinking nothing but pineapple juice the whole week prior to this day.”
#6
If you hear a consistent beeping, don’t worry, it’s just my ankle monitor battery running low…
#7
I have a great joke, you’ll laugh so hard your t**s will fall off. Oh, I see you’ve already heard it
#8
I think you’re my new soulmate
#9
Quick, get in the van!
#10
I am such a nice guy, shall I impregnate you now or after dessert?
#11
If I’m the one with the date:
Do you believe in the flying spaghetti monster?
If I’m a spectator:
“Hey man, I thought you were dating Laura?”
#12
My mentor is looking for sharp, ambitious people to expand their e-commerce business.
#13
I’m a believer in our lord and saviour and the gospel.
If we have Daughters I’d just like to point out I’m a big fan of the names Moab and Ammon for their kids!
#14
*starts rhyming violently*
that’s how I would ruin it
#15
my last girlfriend had that dress and it looked much better on her .
#16
Once again, I have to take my four exes to court over child support.
#17
*Keeps looking over dates shoulder*
MOM! Slow down with the cue cards. You’re flipping them too fast!
#18
“Oh, so it was a really photo of you!”.
#19
Sorry , my ride’s here (as uniformed police enter), can we try again in a year or two?
#20
I’m a mum of five
#21
“Just to get it out of the way up front. The doctor says I’m responding well to treatment and I’m no longer contagious”
#22
“Wow, you look like you work out. Have you considered adding Herbalife to your regimen?” *starts taking bottles and pamphlets out of my purse*
#23
I’m pregnant and you ARE the father.
#24
MAGA
#25
So I was checking out your Facebook and your daughter is hot! 9th grade now, right?… Ok. I grossed myself out.🤢🤮
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