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I had been on a date that didn’t go too well. I ended it early and left. (This was pre-Covid)On a crowded cross walk, waiting for the light to change, I caught a glimpse of random stranger’s expression. Sensing his night hadn’t gone much better, I just asked,”So how’s YOUR night going?” He replied right away,”S*****. I’m in town for my buddy’s funeral. He killed himself and now all of us gotta see his girlfriend tomorrow. It’s her fault man.” He gave me a look saying I had been dismissed- either not expecting a reply or already sick of hearing “sorry to hear that” type of reply. Instead, I said I knew the feeling- only I was the girlfriend everyone blamed when MY boyfriend had killed himself a few years ago. What followed was a long conversation in his hotel room. He was deeply conflicted and angry. I was able to express my understanding of his shock, horror, confusion, etc. I was also able to shed light on what that poor girlfriend was most likely experiencing. I can recall the understanding dawn on his face as I described perspectives and viewpoints he clearly never considered. He kept saying,”You’re blowing my mind, I can’t believe this is happening, what are the odds” so on and so forth. I ended up leaving after a few hours and never saw him again. I don’t even remember his name. All I can say is I could tell certain things deeply resonated deeply for him. My hope is that all this was shared the next morning with “all his buddies.” I’d like to think I was able to brunt some of the blame the girlfriend (knowingly or unknowingly) had coming her way. I hope this eased her experience and somehow did something positive for everyone involved. Because, really, what are the odds? However, I find this type of thing happens to me, around me, a lot. I don’t know why and I am wondering what others experiences have been like?
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