Parenting is hard, you deserve to vent.
#1
I can open a bag of chips, cookies or candy silently.
#2
I have uttered the words “Don’t lick the cat.”
#3
I fear silence when they are not visible
#4
I once accidentally wrote on my grocery list “Sesame Street” instead of “sesame seeds”.
#5
Over half of the items in my purse belong to other people
#6
I can make up good night stories, varying the length according to the tiredness of the listener.
#7
I haven’t peed in peace for 3 years
#8
There are socks all over my house. Behind the piano? Socks! Under the couch? Socks! In dresser drawers? …No socks.
#9
I just stepped on a Lego
#10
My wife and I boast very impressive collections of rocks, sticks, feathers, shells, pine cones and uniquely stained articles of clothing.
#11
I recently had a dinner at an exclusive interactive restaurant. It consisted of me drinking bath water out off chip the cup from Beauty and the Beast and my fellow diners were Belle, the Beast, Elsa, Ariel and a troll doll from the 90’s. I was charged (verbatim) 1 thousand and 5 million pounds and they kept my card as well because I only pretended to drink the bath water…. I will not be going again… until tomorrow night. Hopefully if I break and drink the bath water with bubbles I may get my card back 😏🤭🤗
#12
I can define the following terms: Bussin’, Sus, Sheesh, My Dude, and Living Rent free . . . how ever I am not allowed to use them in a sentence, nor do I have any desire too.
#13
I’ve said “Come here and let me smell your butt.” on more than one occasion.
#14
My food is always cold.
#15
I have a pile of cheerio and goldfish sand at the bottom of my purse
#16
I give treats for pooping.
#17
I still think Dora the Explorer shouldn’t be allowed to leave the house by herself and that she and Boots are-co-dependents.
Whenever she said, “I need your help,” I would shout from the kitchen, “Again? Why? To count to five this time? For crying out loud, Dora, pull yourself together!”
#18
I know what Santa will bring for Christmas!
#19
Hey you’re Kid’s Name Mom…. yes 21 years later..😄
#20
Baby shark do do do..
#21
I’m taking care of a cat, that isn’t mine, for the rest of it’s life.
#22
The things you find in the washing machine ;
lego, stones, feathers,.
Also to be found in other surprising places like the fridge.
#23
I have a 4 bedroom house and yet forget what the other occupants look like thanks to cell phones, gaming systems, work, school and general (teen) “I hate everyone” attitudes. But yet the kitchen sink is constantly full with 734 cups for various liquid nourishment and bowls and plates. And where the hell are all my spoons???
#24
During the school year, every morning is a crisis that involves lost items, tears, and vows to do better tomorrow. And that’s when I’m the only one awake!!
#25
Before COVID you could find sanitizer and wet wipes in my car or bag at any given time.
#26
I can no longer be coaxed, or tricked into, sniffing anyone’s finger.
#27
The only jokes I know are Dad jokes.
#28
My pantry and fridge are full of empty cartons, containers and packages that I don’t see until I’m putting the groceries away.
#29
Peppa Pig haunts my dreams, the little S**t
#30
We (both in our 70s) are recovering from Covid. I just asked my husband if he wanted to go nigh-nigh.
#31
The nicest part of my day is when I’m on my own, can hear myself think, watch something that isn’t PG related and without be questioned throughout the whole film. Silence is bliss 😊
#32
Repeatedly awakened in the middle of the night.
#33
I’ve stayed up all night making a hamburger costume
#34
I cannot remember what 8 uninterrupted hours of sleep feels like nor having room in my bed and it being crumbles. I have vague memories of a waking up naturally!
#35
Any question I ask gets answered with ‘You Mama’. Anything I do that I think is cool, someone says ‘Bruh’ in a condescending tone. I drive the same miles as an Uber, but don’t get paid for it. And everything reeks of socks.
#36
I find water bottles in ever crevice and corner of the house, all partially drank. Yet there’s 2 offenders, that refuse to claim so it gets wasted.
#37
Of course a can drink tea and eat cookies without actually drinking tea and eating cookies.
#38
When my kids come to visit (they’re in their 30s) and we go out for the day, my bag still gets loaded with hankies, wipes, 1st aid, umbrella or sun cream (or both), purse, masks, sanitiser, mints, carrier bag, water — “just in case” 😂
#39
The very last thing I do before leaving the house in the morning is to get dressed, because the odds are I will get two or three body fluids on my clothes before I make it to the door.
#40
I have asked someone to remove the glow stick from their nose BEFORE coming to the dinner table.
#41
I have a tiny sock stuck to the Velcro on my jacket hood.
#42
I receive shopping lists from camp, not letters. 🤣
#43
I haven’t slept in years…
#44
I buy silverware 🍽 weekly…not plastic wares but silverware
#45
I used to care so much about my appearance I wouldn’t leve the house until I was completely made up, coordinated and accessorised. Now you would be lucky if I remember to take the child’s knickers (clean) I’m using as a hair bobble out of my hair.
#46
Found a half eaten chocolate bar in my shoe yesterday… My work shoes. Super fun.
#47
I am the CEO of a small small cleaning service, which also provides addition services at no extra charge. Additionally I sit on the board of directors for a small bank BofM.
#48
A toy car factory has exploded in my house.
#49
I have way more content knowledge than a person should have about show, sites, and games that have nothing to do with my job or interests.
#50
Me: “Why are you licking the fridge?”
Nephew: “I’m a chameleon.”
He was trying to open the fridge to get food. With his tongue, smh.
#51
“Because” is a perfectly complete and full answer
#52
I have a collection of drinks called “Not Mine”
#53
These shoulders have been adorned by many a spit-up.
#54
My car looks like a dumpster
#55
I always have a sink full of dirty dishes I didn’t create (alas no dishwasher)
#56
Shayden…Elias…Aria…whatever your name is! Stop doing that!
#57
Can I please just p**s in peace!
#58
I’ve cleaned poop off of walls.
#59
Where is my ________? As it walks past on someone else’s body.
#60
There’s a Hot Wheels car in my box of tampons.
#61
Just did laundry and already have 6 loads to do again
#62
I know far too much about Minecraft, a game I’ve never had any desire to play….
#63
All of the pasta in my pantry, and all of the chicken nuggets in my freezer are shaped like animals.
#64
Two of our five Disney + profiles = Princess KK and Dorkasaurus
#65
Maria BeRomero 1 minute ago
I am usually encountered in random places like a grocery store singing twinkle twinkle little star while been alone.
#66
I have witnessed the length and girth of freshly produced poop entirely too many times.
#67
I keep a box of Lego in the back seat of my car for boredom emergencies. My kids are in their 30s … haven’t lived with me for years.
#68
Not a parent, but an older sister.
I hid MANY candies in my old history books. Dante’s Inferno, Brown’s Da Vinci Code, full of candies. that’s the only place my baby brother will never look into.
#69
All valuables must be put 3ft or higher out of reach
#70
Because I said so.
#71
I can name all the pups from paw patrol. The sound of the snorts from Pepa pig’s family makes me cringe – “muddy puddles” oh my horror
#72
I often have to clean up old pizza boxes and pop cans outside that have bb holes through them. Have night crawlers in my fridge and often have to look at and hear about cardboard tinfoil duct tape boats.
#73
Apparently I can Venmo allowances.
#74
I was putting a shed together and was singing “Fruit Salad” by the Wiggles
#75
I’m pretty sure I could clog a shop-vac with the contents from within our couch cushions.
#76
I’ve seen every Episode of “Bluey” so many times I can recite them.
#77
I installed locks at the top of my bedroom and bathroom doors.
#78
I co-habitate with a jerk named ‘Not Me’ that LITERALLY does nothing and everything. Somehow, my other co-habitants knows this person on a deep level, yet none have seen them. I can’t wait for this jerk to turn 18 and move the eff out….
#79
I will forever store toys, graduation gowns and a wedding dress of someone who doesn’t live with me anymore.
#80
Most items in my purse come from mother nature and ‘can easily be recycled or re-used’.
#81
I have had to explain more than once that people don’t break out in song and dance anywhere we go. Ever.
#82
Even I’m glad school is out.
#83
My wife went to Aldis one morning. Apparently when she opened her shopping bag it was full of teething toys.
#84
I usually eat leftovers from many different plates
#85
My shopping list list consists names next to the items so I know if the item can be substituted or not. The world almost ended last week when I bought gummy bears and no gummy worms.
#86
I have at least 6 completely empty boxes in the pantry and 4 open cabinet doors.
#87
Speaking to my friends as if they were small children.
#88
I’m the punching bag for a set of first year hockey twins
#89
My husband just said “the floor is lava” instead of the “floor is yours” during a presentation
#90
Bought decorations and food yesterday, cleaned and DIYed a whole pink ocean theme room today. Ready for bday bbq for tomorrow.
#91
I have taken a pick axe to the side of my garden to create a “construction site” so that the excavators don’t dig up my cucumbers. Every morning the house is clean, and two hours into the day I can’t walk in a straight line. And I’ve had to ask why boogers are on the wall or smiley faces are drawn in poop on the sports car I don’t get to use anymore in the garage.
#92
There are tissues in varying states of use in my left cargo shorts pocket at all times.
#93
“WAAAÀALK!”
Also: I know the name of every crayola crayon color.
#94
My rearview mirror is adorned with a pacifier hanging from a lanyard
#95
I function as a cook, teacher, nurse, counselor, maid, entertainer, and human pillow- and I do it all for free.
#96
I’ve watched all of “Mickey Mouse Clubhouse”
#97
I have said the words “No that hole is not a poop shoot, put your underwear on right.”
#98
(Cat owner)
Every two minutes or so, a “bwurr” is echoed through the house.
#99
There is one show in the house that you hear way more than any other… Cocomelon. There’s also the song… We Don’t Talk About Bruno
#100
All cookies, candies, and chips are in a locked cabinet over the fridge. The cleaning products are in an unlocked cabinet under the sink.
#101
I can tell you… Wait. GET THAT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!!… I do not care that the dog gave it to you… So I can… Hold on. Uhm. What was the question…?
#102
I have a basket with several mateless shoes and sneakers.
#103
I used to hate cold coffee but now it’s almost all I’m able to drink.
#104
I’m tired
#105
I just bought some dork diaries books from the library (my mom 4 years ago POV)
#106
French fries or goldfish crackers on the floor of the car
#107
I have learned to “talk” for the stuffed cats. Things start with an “m”
#108
I call my husband Daddy in a non-sexual way
#109
I made up names for animals and kids on the street, since I got scolded for not knowing their names by a two year old.
#110
screaming kids, toilet paper mummies, kids rolled up in “avocado” blankets
#111
Is that poop or chocolate?
#112
I don’t remember the last time I was able to stay home alone. Without kids or hubby🥺. I have to leave the house if I want a moment of peace and quiet. Not even bathroom time is sacred.
#113
Wet floors and doors that seem to not close.
#114
I once found a cheeseburger in my purse that had been there a couple of days.
#115
Going to the supermarket/Target/CVS by myself feels like a vacation on a tropical island.
#116
Where is my ________? As it walks past on someone else’s body.
#117
Toot toot Chugga chugga big red car on a loop in my head. OH and the snot! Copious amounts of snot. Uggh.
#118
Several of my most treasured pieces of jewelry are made of rainbow plastic pony beads.
#119
I yell everyday” STOP YELLING”
#120
I have had projectile poop in my eye.
(It burns!)
#121
I drive minivan.
#122
In my purse I always have bandaids, fruit snacks, Tylenol, Advil, lactose intolerance pills (which I am not!), hard candies, safety pins, a pen & paper.
#123
There were Littlest Pet Shop animals in the manger at Christmas time “because Jesus needed more animals”
#124
I make up lullabies on the fly…at 3 in the morning
#125
I grapoed hold of a stranger’s hand at the road side and said….”hold my Danny”. I also pointed to a horse out of the bus window and said…”look, a poppo”
#126
I had two extra kids named Ida Know and Ont Know living in my house.
#127
Every chair I regularly sit in has a roll of paper towel within reach.
#128
I never feel like I am doing enough.
#129
The sound of silence isn’t just a great song from Disturbed but is also the sound I fear the most coming from the bedroom
#130
I have heard every spoiler to every movie that I don’t even want to see.
#131
Not Mine, Wasn’t Me, and I didn’t do it are all my roommates. Though I don’t remember inviting them to stay with me in my home. 🙃🤔🤪
#132
Know all the words to the Pokemon theme and names of all of Ash’s pokemon from every region I used to only know pikachu and jigglypuff
#133
My hair has been used to wipe a snotty nose clean
#134
I just had to yell, “Don’t poke that spider with your finger!”
#135
Every time I open the shower curtain to step in, there are many and various types of toys laying in the tub. Most of them aren’t even made for water so I have to scoop them all up and lay them on a towel to dry just to get in the shower. Same thing the next day. It never ends.
#136
My son greeted my husband “HI Steve. Oops I mean dad.” My husband is named James. Blues clues was important.
#137
How do you get permanent marker off a cat??!!….asking for a friend😬
#138
My house has a constant tornado that seems to be as violent as the storm on Jupiter, has forced me to utter “don’t stick your finger there” and “that’s not where that goes” on thousands of occasions, and seems to have a new and absolutely random question waaay to complicated for me to answer in a moments time every .25 seconds…
Also, I have one friend. Her name is Voda Ka and we speak often. She understands me lmao.
#139
I’ve gone to work wearing nail polish on my toes and fingers, because small humans needed to both be nail technicians and I was the only victim… I mean customer available…
#140
#141
I’m pretty sure I could clog a shop-vac with the contents from within our couch cushions.
#142
I have taken a pick axe to the side of my garden to create a “construction site” so that the excavators don’t dig up my cucumbers. Every morning the house is clean, and two hours into the day I can’t walk in a straight line. And I’ve had to ask why boogers are on the wall or smiley faces are drawn in poop on the sports car I don’t get to use anymore in the garage.
#143
Petroleum jelly is difficult to remove, even off a water-loving labrador
#144
“PANTS! Where are your pants?”
😳😳
“Who peed on the carpet?” Didn’t always apply to the dogs.
🤨🤨
#145
(Daycare teacher)
I know that it’s a bad idea to give 16 two year olds apple juice immediately after they’ve woken up from nap, have repeatedly uttered the words “No, Thank You! We don’t drink water from off the ground!”, Can change diapers like a speed racer, and know that all it takes to stop a crying chain of toddlers is to bring out the fabric tunnel.
#146
I think it’s quite a parent personally.
#147
I can make pot of coffee with one hand.
#148
Yelled at my teenager for not packing up his stuff to head out to out of state college tomorrow (i had been telling him to do it for 3 weeks).
Got mad! Yelled! And immediately went to the bathroom and cried because he’s going to out if state college tomorrow.
I’m conflicted!
#149
The dog is covered in raw eggs and chocolate syrup!
#150
They know everything.
#151
I can never do anything for longer than 10 minutes unless it’s between the times of 2 and 4 pm.
#152
Where are all my cell phone chargers?
#153
There is a secret squatter in my home named “Not Me”, and they happen to make lots of messes ….
#154
I’m fluent in English, sigh and eye roll
#155
Well, one of my three best friends stopped by today; however, I was so tired I decided to take a two-hour nap. She must not have minded a bit because she new better than to wake me.
#156
We don’t talk about Bruno… except when we do. 3,456,989 times a day.
#157
Their food plates are untouched.
As I fight to protect my food on my plate. Dispite all plates holding the exact same food items.
#158
There were french fries in the VCR. Apparently, it was hungry. Side note, VCRs do not like french fries,
#159
I have a hatred and fear of Lego blocks in the living room leaping under my bare feet in the early morning.
#160
I had no idea I could ruin someone’s day by giving them the wrong spoon.
#161
I have had to tell someone to stop being mean to their cheese…
#162
I told you to go get your pajamas on and brush your teeth. I get to listen to a hissy fit for the next 30 minutes because obviously I have ruined your life.
#163
There are tissues in varying states of use in my left cargo shorts pocket at all times.
#164
My rearview mirror is adorned with a pacifier hanging from a lanyard
#165
I learned to love the burnt fries in an order.
#166
Constantly saying “I’m not a bank!” My kids are 29 and 21.
Legos NEVER leave. 16 years of them in storage and I still occasionally find a stray!
#167
I know all the words to the Paw Patrol, PJ Mask, and Team Umizoomi theme songs. As well as all the characters names.
#168
Most days I end up carrying an extra 20-25 lbs around the house that’s not even my own weight…
#169
I could spend all day cleaning but by bedtime it looks like a tornado went through my house..😮💨
#170
I have a large assortment of papers with what looks to be nothing but scribbles, sloppy random brush strokes. However I’ve been informed the are boats, the ocean, and any combination of things you could imagine
#171
My algorithm thinks I’m a gangsta rap listening, Roblox playing, jazz loving, challenge taking, hard working, trend dancing human being.
#172
I answer the question ” why ” over 500 times per day.
#173
My favorite phrases are “it starts with p, ends with an e, and is all manners” and “that doesn’t go up your nose or in your mouth”
#174
I have found petrified chicken nuggets in and under the couch.
I never have to worry about a burglar breaking in, because my floors are minefields, especially in the dark.
Poop talk is a constant.
I hide candy in empty tampon boxes.
I eat candy in the bathroom. With the door locked.
I have called out, ‘You! With the face!’ and they know who I am talking too.
I yell, ‘Stop Running in the House’ 2,394,103 times a day.
I once prided myself on my cooking. Now, everything I cook is ‘Gross’ unless premade and bought from the store. At least my husband and friends still like my cooking. But my confidence has taken a massive hit.
When I go to the store alone, I check the back seat.
Every doctor visit requires a trip to Dollar Tree afterwards.
Laundry is NEVER ENDING.
Never enough socks.
Apparently, one can subsist on popsciles and ice alone.
#175
Was at a restaurant with a friend, tried something new. When she asked me how it was I said, “Oh, it’s nummy num nums.”
#176
Glitter everywhere.
Chicken nuggets for dinner
Why is this sticky?
#177
I have a formula that gets markers and crayons off walls.
#178
I crochet but I can’t fit my work in the bag due to all the bandages liquid stitch and meds. Instead of hooks it’s all colored pencils
#179
My husband just said “the floor is lava” instead of the “floor is yours” during a presentation
#180
Uh=truck, wa’a=water, ay=train, mirl=milk, ee=cheese or please, etc.
Also currently looking for a minivan because in a few months there won’t be any more room in our car.
#181
I sway back and forth usually humming a soothing tune when not at home and by myself
I also tend to rock the shopping carriage back and forth humming or lightly singing, also by myself.
#182
Which one are you again? Out of 7 no one ever remembered my name (middle kid). I was called jack one day. The dogs name.
#183
I am a walking tissue / napkin.
#184
Sometimes I find myself quietly humming “I love you, you love me…” and have to force myself to stop.
#185
I have 2 refrigerators and a pantry all completely stocked with food. I am told multiple times a day that we “Never have anything to eat in this house!”
#186
There is a happy face sticker on every doorknob in the house, and a big one on the inside of the toilet lid…
#187
Sleep? Ahh, I remember sleep. Many moons ago there was plenty of it to go around.
#188
When it’s time to put away a toy (or some other object), said item is “sleepy/needs to go to it’s home.”
#189
“I have a tattoo!” He stood in the mirror and drew Pokémon on his chest in permanent marker.
#190
I yell, “get in the car!,”. about the same amount as I yell, “get out of the car!” And yet… Still no one listens.
#191
wait.. Season 4 of Strangers Things came out?
#192
I need a break after my holiday.
#193
I know where to find mommy, daddy, brother and sister finger at any given time
#194
Toilet not flushing by finding a whole roll of toilet paper, a doll, and a about 15 wrappers for candy.
#195
Them on Monday “good weekend”
Me “meh”
Then “what did you get up to?”
Me (desperately tries to thing of the most glamorous way of saying “survived while dreading Monday”)
#196
I know the difference between Master C heif and Nathan Drake
#197
I found a chunk of hair on the bathroom floor.
Now to do shades check.
#198
To say it like Downton Abby: Weekend? What’s a weekend?
#199
What’s a weekend?
#200
On more than one occasion while pulling into the driveway I have said the words I know you have to pee but please do not pee in the backyard the kitchen doors 10 ft away
#201
i smell like puke or p**s.or puke and p**s
#202
The school called……..
#203
I was baking a cake around 11 pm. Then I decorated it with a picture of Neymar Jr.
#204
I know that I have too many towels for any reasonable place, let just say clumsy can be transferred
#205
I wake up at ungodly hours of morning to provide transport for younger humans to their activities. (They both can drive now and I still provide this service)
#206
I eat the crust only sometimes lol
#207
That wasn’t candy…
#208
I know 8 birthdates by heart and often have to repeat them several times a day. Just imagine moving more than once with all the doctors, dentists, schools, insurance companies, emergency rooms…
#209
The list of nice things we will buy, and when we will refinish the floors gets longer and further away.
#210
I had to replace carpeting because it was painted with red fingernail polish.
#211
I have enough snacks on the back floor of my truck, for a week of camping
#212
Laundry is eternal…
#213
I find myself preforming the same household tasks (Picking up cups/plates/bowls/clothes/shoes etc) only to go back a couple of hours later to find “not mine’s” cup/plate/bowl/clothes/shoes, etc have appeared.
#214
It’s 1:45am. First shift completed. Clean and fed, down for the count.
#215
You never have any spoons or forks in the utensils drawer– EVER!
#216
Who do it? No body!! Who made you cry? No one!!
#217
Let me get you a juice box. They’re in my purse. Snack? Ok, got those in there too.
#218
I have no fear of poop, vomit, or pee. Also I can find the halflings.
#219
“Don’t lick your brother’s butt”
#220
I have more Lego men than shower gels and shampoos in my shower
#221
I give kisses on chubby cheeks despite getting punched before 🤣
#222
I saw the Emoji movie.
#223
“Why is the fridge open?”
#224
I have said “we do not pp in cup holders”
#225
Each time I see something prefixed with the word “baby” (e.g. baby carrots, baby leaf lettuce) the words/tune “do-do, do-do-do-do” automatically follows in my head.
#226
I have taken a pick axe to the side of my garden to create a “construction site” so that the excavators don’t dig up my cucumbers. Every morning the house is clean, and two hours into the day I can’t walk in a straight line. And I’ve had to ask why boogers are on the wall or smiley faces are drawn in poop on the sports car I don’t get to use anymore in the garage.
#227
I can make pot of coffee with one hand.
#228
Aww the sweet smell of, Oh no it’s nail polish!
#229
To say it like Downton Abby: Weekend? What’s a weekend?
#230
I have 2 refrigerators and a pantry all completely stocked with food. I am told multiple times a day that we “Never have anything to eat in this house!”
#231
I just did my laundry and am so excited that I have clean nipple pads lol
#232
Annual mileage in my car – around 8000 miles. Percentage of those miles that are not actually ‘Taxi-ing daughter around’ – Probably around 10 % :)
#233
Going to the washroom?–!! Lmao!!!
#234
Ur quiet!!!!
#235
In my purse I have baby teeth that aren’t mine. The tooth fairy has to do something with them!
#236
It’s rare when the house is clean.
#237
Ask your mother.
#238
Ask your mother.
#239
While I was folding laundry, my youngest informed me that me put a lego up his bum. Why?! Because it was itchy. Afterwards, he proceeded to get upset when I wouldn’t let him keep said lego. Thank heavens it was a smooth one and not a big brick!
#240
Them on Monday : c
#241
I was given a new name at age 27, I share it with millions of other Americans, and whenever someone says it, a group of neurons in my brain lights up.
#242
I wake up every morning by at least six o’clock although I’d love to sleep at least til 8…
#243
When I open my handbag to get my purse I have to rummage through diapers, wipes, cookies, bottles, books, etc.
#244
I haven’t been on a romantic holidays for 20 years
#245
About 19 years after I got married my grocery bill had a dramatic drop.
#246
1. I’ve been handed a nugget of poop
2. Every morning I have to ask someone if they put on underwear
3. I dine at a restaurant daily and eat pancakes out of a bowl
4. I am a master at silently opening food wrappers
5. I make ‘comfy spots’ nightly, but I never get to enjoy them
6. I own a pair of sound dampening ear plugs and haven’t been to a concert in 4 years
7. I hide in the bathroom
8. I haven’t uttered the words ‘I’m bored’ in 10 years
9. I get jumped on anytime I crouch to grab something from a low cabinet
10. Going to work feels like a break
#247
In the past year, I’ve learned how to make a peacock sound when it shows up in a book, and I can produce varying roars for tigers and lions, and different humming styles for bees, wasps, bumblebees and dragon flies. Because, of course, it’s vital that they don’t sound the same!
#248
Trying to “sleep in” past 5am means waking up repeatedly with a foot in your mouth.
#249
Hugging is a non-negotiable, essential part of my day.
#250
Me telling my cat : Elfo you can’t lay there
Elfo: looks at me as he lay down on the baby who is taking a nap.
The baby: waaaaaa
Me: wow real cool bro, now you put him to sleep.
Elfo: falls asleep 😴
😩
#251
I can make a pot of coffee with one hand.
#252
I’m not, I have money to spend on me
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