“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Every neighborhood has its own cast — the conspiracy theorist, the overly friendly uncle, the 2am vacuum enthusiast, the passive-aggressive note writer… you get the gist.

But on this Nextdoor-themed corner of the internet, the drama doesn’t stay behind closed doors. It spills out all over the internet, ready to be shared and sometimes roasted.

Basically, think of it as a neighborhood group chat, where you’ll find all the hot tea and unhinged takes from the real world.

Because, let’s be honest, the local communities are where all the juicy gossip comes from.

Whether it’s petty complaints, wild questions, absurd requests, or random everyday moments, we’ve rounded up some of the best posts from the platform.

#1 My Nextdoor Community Is Such A Gem

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: micropenisgrowery

#2 Nextdoor Is Full Of Beggars And Thieves

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Shotgun_Mosquito

The Nextdoor app, where these posts are from, is basically social media but for people who live in the same area. You join with your real address and are dropped straight into your neighborhood’s feed.

It’s a one-stop location where you can swap local tips, dog‑walker recs, lost‑pet alerts, safety notices, or garage sale deals, and find out the latest deets about your block.

Some use it like a legit community tool, asking for a plumber or warning about storms, while others treat it like the world’s most petty group chat, airing every dumb beef or dog poop situation.

It has over 100 million verified users connected across more than 350,000 neighborhoods in 11 countries. And about 21 million people use the app every week.

#3 Nextdoor Is A Wild Place

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: lumosauror192

#4 Ok Karen!

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Bastyra2016

#5 Anti Nose Ring Advocate

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Living-Commercial272

Started in 2011 in the US, Nextdoor has time and again reiterated its core mission: “Our purpose is to cultivate a kinder world where everyone has a neighborhood they can rely on.”

During the pandemic, the app was frequently used to identify vulnerable neighbors and organize help.

“It can be really positive. People came together during the pandemic using it, and it’s good for charity and community organization,” says Rita Begum, a Labor councilor in Maida Vale.

A survey found that a large number of people feel closer to their neighbors now than they did before. People also said that getting recommendations or help from locals makes them feel like they belong.

#6 I Only See Two So I Guess We’re Safe

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Retired_Army_Dude

#7 Tatoos

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: retroP_NK

#8 Very Sad And Tragic, But Life Goes On…i Guess

I’ve worked in marketing and this is either genius or complete depravity…what a way to capture eyeballs…

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: No-Shelter7824

Being connected to your neighbors and the local community actually has real-life benefits, proven by science.

Studies show that neighborhoods with tight social bonds see better physical and mental well‑being among residents, especially older adults.

These people are less likely to feel lonely and report better overall health. They even bounce back quicker from stressful events compared with people who feel disconnected from those around them.

#9 Helicopter Parents

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: dph99

#10 This Was Amazing And I Couldn’t Say A Word

She’s an old lady selling a motorized wheelchair. Obviously I couldn’t make any jokes but omg what a gem.
So we know it works then.
Oh and I think the guy asking if the electric chair reclines actually posted looking for a recliner to sleep in after upcoming shoulder surgery. If it’s not the same guy, idk.

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: mynameisyoshimi

#11 Need Help?

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: lumosauror192

Research suggests that even minor everyday interactions, such as simple small talk during your evening walks or random check‑ins with your neighbor, can build a sense of social cohesion.

But modern apartment living has changed the whole idea of “know thy neighbor.”

In traditional neighborhoods or smaller communities, it’s quite common for people to run into each other on sidewalks, or in parks.

But people living in apartment buildings end up socializing way less than those in walkable, tight-knit neighborhoods, studies show.

Urban lifestyle, architecture that didn’t account for real meeting spaces, and spatial design that prioritizes privacy over shared zones all get in the way.

That’s why these connections now matter more than ever. We’re living more isolated lives than previous generations, with tons of people cooped up in apartments who barely exchange more than a nod at the elevator.

Apps like Nextdoor try to bridge this very gap, giving people a way to trade tips and check in with each other where physical community ties might have faded.

#12 Peanut Manger

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: maggot-smoothie

#13 Can’t Even Walk Down The Street As A Pirate

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: stlmatt

#14 Helpful Advice From A Regular Guy

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: PhishMagician

Nextdoor isn’t all serious complaints and panic alerts, sometimes it’s accidental comedy gold as well.

There’s a whole pile of posts people have screenshotted and shared online that are just plain hilarious.

You can find neighbors asking about suspicious-looking ducks or someone offering at-home CPR services… there’s even a person who posted random advice about constipation for some reason.

The platform is kind of like looking at a real‑life sitcom where everyone’s talking in all‑caps and no one’s muted.

It might have started as a local tool, but for tons of people it’s also become a place where they can laugh and share the weird, most random stuff that makes their neighborhood feel alive.

#15 Full Time Nanny Needed To Cook, Clean, And Do Laundry For A Household At $5.45/Hr Below Minimum Wage

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: ridbax

#16 How Dare You Snow Lovers!

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: TheWitchSparkles

#17 Totalitarian Blizzard Road Closure

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Weird_Warm_Cheese

#18 Mocking A Bad Fake Tan Is The Same As Making Racist Comments

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: imaginenohell

But just like any other social media platform, this app is not devoid of controversies.

In the US, Nextdoor has faced criticism for fueling racial profiling and, as one mayor put it, creating an atmosphere of “paranoid hysteria.”

Experts say the app has replaced the role of local papers. It delivers news almost as it happens, with quick and unedited feedback.

A 2026 study, from the University of Colorado Boulder, found that people who use Nextdoor a lot are more worried about crime and even support tougher policing — even in neighborhoods where crime is actually going down.

Basically, all those crowdsourced hyperlocal posts can make everything feel way scarier than it really is.

#19 Impersonating Code Enforcement For $40

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: WillingRaspberry1101

The problem is also the fact that some people trust their neighbors, so they’re more likely to take reports of society/crime on the app seriously.

Nextdoor is basically what happens when the whole internet moves into your block. You’ll find your neighbors not just grumbling about trash bins, but turning every little issue into headline-worthy drama.

Posts about trivial stuff like lawn heights or noisy pets can turn into full‑blown arguments. Moderation is quite inconsistent, which leaves some users feeling censored while others go unchecked.

People do use Nextdoor to help with lost pets or find a babysitter, but the other side and the drama of it all is very much real too.

“Nextdoor’s business model is built around retaining audience attention and serving advertisements — it isn’t linked to journalistic norms like balance, fairness and verified reporting,” Toby Hopp, an associate advertising professor at University of Colorado Boulder, said.

#20 “I Don’t Like To Be Interrupted”

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Golden_1992

#21 Neighbors Help Solve Pizza Mystery

Context/TL;DR:
Neighbor picks up Pizza. Seems to be missing pieces (pic 1)
Outrage ensues. MANY suggestions on how to proceed to remedy this.
444 comments!
Meanwhile, helpful neighbor uses computer to solve the mystery (pic 2)

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Evanston-i3

Another reason why apps like Nextdoor can draw you in so hard is proximity… it’s not just random trolls or comments from strangers on Facebook or TikTok.

When someone complains about something literally happening down your street, it hits different.

Researchers call this the “local paradox.” Even though everyone uses their real names and lives nearby, discussions can get way more heated and emotional than you’d expect.

The conversations sometimes get more toxic than on big social apps because they feel more real and personal.

#22 If I Were President

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Queen-Blunder

#23 Just… Wow

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Moonchild16

These posts say something bigger about how we humans crave connection, even in the weirdest, most random ways.

They show how we treat community and create boundaries in a world that’s increasingly digital and isolated. They also remind us that neighborhoods aren’t just about streets or addresses, they’re about real people with real stories.

And maybe, laughing at a neighbor’s duck drama or debating the proper lawn height is one of the strangest yet simplest ways we practice being part of a community.

#24 The Daily Vax 👻 Argument

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Electrical-Owl-2934

#25 Jim Likes And Appreciates Jim’s Work

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: dph99

#26 The World’s Gone Soft!

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: ThePolishSensation

#27 Hi Marcie

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Iongdog

#28 Hair vs. Hare

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: shotguncollars

#29 🙄 Someone Is A Beggar But Only For Vegan Dog Food

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Impressive_Arm1879

#30 Glad They Let Me Know

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: FunnymanBacon

#31 Is There A Website?

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: jesssayingg

#32 Asked About Radon Mitigation, Got This Helpful Reply

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: ginahandler

#33 I Beg You To Rephrase This!

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: snagaurukhai

#34 Hurtful For Reasons I Dont Want To Share

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: cunexttuesday12

#35 Thankful For That Friend

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Mlanger44

#36 She’s Angry At The Grocery Store… For Hot And Spicy Pickles Being… Hot And Spicy

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: 00DL35

#37 Ice Cream Truck Kidnappers

You can’t argue with crazy people. All of the replies pointed out that the state police and reputable news sources have said it was a hoax, but several posters chose to believe what they saw on TiK Tok.

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: PeorgieT75

#38 Bad News Guys, Hydration Is Woke Now

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Ravenae

#39 Ladies! You Have Been Warned! (I Can’t Believe This Is Real…lol)

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: amfhTX

#40 The Water Company Doesn’t Care My Hose Is Full Of Hot Water

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Queen-Blunder

#41 Whatever It Is, I’m Against It

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Evanston-i3

#42 Not Sure If Serious

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Evanston-i3

#43 Store Selling Acid To Children!!!

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: zakur2000

#44 😳

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: uhveevah

#45 Just A Couple AI Generated Gems That The Nextdoor Boomers Fell For And Shared

Something about sharing fake AI veterans feels a little wrong…
Something about grandma hiding in her new tub feels the same way…

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: SeeDiph

#46 Michael Is Concerned

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Positive-Froyo-1732

#47 It Took Every Bit Of Restraint To Not Comment On The Post, But I Can Certainly Share It On Here

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: lumosauror192

#48 I Do Not Think This Means What You Think It Means

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: It_Slices_It_Dices

#49 Holiday Help Requests That Stretch Believability

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: BitNorthOfForty

#50 Passionate About Selling Items That Have Been Donated To Him?

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: dph99

#51 “ By Executive Order In The United States Of America, English Is Desginated As The Official Language For Our Country “

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: panda2297

#52 I Am Already Retired. Thanks

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: rantmb331

#53 Anyone Want A Roomie? 😬

I wouldn’t shame anyone for seeking a place to live for herself and her pets, but judging by her attitude in this post, I can’t imagine her “BOUNDARIES” stop with what is written. I also question the value of coaching skills & art that don’t allow her to pay rent. Just guessing taking her in could end badly. 🫠

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: SkippingOnQuicksand

#54 No, Chem Trailsi Here

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: daved_it

#55 Didn’t Get The Answer She Hoped For

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Pdx_Obviously

#56 The People Have Spoken

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: AintNoGobemouche

#57 Insane Post I Stumbled Upon The Other Day

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: ProfessionalNothing9

#58 “Daddy’s Off His Meds Again”😂

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: AffectionateShoe783

#59 Stop

My Neighbors comments did not disappoint this time.

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: IcyCantaloupe7004

#60 Maybe It Was A Vampire

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: littlestarbuck19

#61 Caught Another One Today

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: zea_mays191

#62 This Isn’t His First Unhinged Rant About “Undesirables” In Our Neighborhood

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Inside_Painting_6780

#63 Adverts For Dog Food Are Bad! 😡

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: IcyCantaloupe7004

#64 Vital Information For Neighbors Here

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Shoddy-Theory

#65 Calling People Aunt Jemima

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: scarletteclipse1982

#66 Isn’t This The Guy

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: rantmb331

#67 Hilarious!

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Asleep_Part_7888

#68 Resume: She Can Type And She’s A Christian

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: FoxxToneMachine

#69 Urgent Update – Lattes Have Dairy!

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Future_Ad7811

#70 My Bike And Toolbox Have Been In My Driveway For 20 Years, And Just Now The HOA Sent Me A Violation Letter

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Shotgun_Mosquito

#71 I Feel Bad For Her

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: LadyAtrox60

#72 That Escalated

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: megamegachon

#73 Reported For Disapproving!

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

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#74 🤦🤦🤦

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Ibenthinkin2much

#75 Charming Comment When Millions Are Going Hungry

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: imaginenohell

#76 Nextdoor Hates America

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: padall

#77 Red Can’t Read, Green Is Just ???, And Pink Is Lost

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: CA7T0

#78 Anyone Have A 17yo Suv They Want To Sell? Must Have Low Miles

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Malibu77

#79 At Least Three Guideline Violations

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: rantmb331

#80 I’ve Never Seen More Outrage Around The Macy’s Santa Claus

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Academic-Camel-9538

#81 Please Give Me Postage For Free

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: imaginenohell

#82 Op Wanted To Pay For A Sheriff’s Meal – But It Was Too High Of A Bill

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: panda2297

#83 Is This A Foreign Country?!?!?

“If I Were President”: 83 Neighbors Who Wrote The Most Absurd, Chaotic And Funny Things On NextDoor (New Pics)

Image source: Mysterious_Dolphin14