Looking for the best dad jokes that are so bad, they’re hilarious? You’re in the right place. Whether you love funny dad jokes that make everyone groan or you’re secretly a fan of clever one-liners, this list delivers the ultimate laugh (or eye-roll) every time.
From classic puns to the latest dad jokes 2024 and 2025, we’ve gathered cheesy, wholesome, and totally awkward humor that only dads (or wannabe dads) can pull off. And yes, we’ve even added a few dad jokes for adults with a slightly more grown-up twist.
So if you’re ready for painfully predictable but weirdly satisfying punchlines, scroll down to discover the funniest dad jokes ever written, vote for your favorites, and share the cringiest ones in the comments!
#1 Parenting Level: Invisible
Today, my son asked “Can I have a book mark?” and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian.
Image source: Tface
#2
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
Image source: porichoygupto
#3
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can’t remember… I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife…
Image source: Alessia_Fisher
#4 Wickedly Literal Wisdom
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
Image source: tymoski
#5
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
Image source: motherfkersantana
#6
Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
Image source: somekindahuman
#7 Pun Intended
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
Image source: korpsart
#8
The secret service isn’t allowed to yell “Get down!” anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell “Donald, duck!”
Image source: ldrescher
#9
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
Image source: raheel1122
#10 Classic Pun Play
What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
Image source: Lee_Hey_pat
#11 So Bad They’re Good: The Cheesiest Ones
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know
Image source: JohnathanWickers
#12
What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language
Image source: A_Sea_Cucumber
#13 Lost in Translation Moments
My daughter screeched, “Daaaaaad, you haven’t listened to one word I’ve said, have you!?” What a strange way to start a conversation with me…
Image source: madazzahatter
#14
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
Image source: porichoygupto
#15
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter’s car seat with one hand and said, “How do one armed mothers do it?” Without missing a beat I replied, “Single handedly.”
Image source: thunderup_14
#16 Dead Serious Dad Joke
When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that’s a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there!
Image source: AshleyJack
#17
My friend keeps saying “cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.” I know he means well.
Image source: StewPaddasso
#18
Justice is a dish best served cold, if it were served warm it would be justwater.
Image source: Spider_Dimwit
#19 Round Table Pun Fun
The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
Image source: omgthatspunny
#20
MOM: “How do I look?” DAD: “With your eyes.”
#21 Quick One-Liners To Catch You Off Guard
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.
Image source: Capetoider
#22 Brains Over Bites
What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “GRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNS!”
Image source: PolesawPolska
#23
Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants!
Image source: mblondie
#24
3 unwritten rules of life…
1.
2.
3.
Image source: madazzahatter
#25 Tech Crime Wordplay
If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?
Image source: Gingafer81
#26
Did you hear the news? FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.
Image source: AshleyJack
#27
Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!
Image source: letrollface1279
#28
I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson… He said, “But dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”
Image source: madazzahatter
#29
KID: “Dad, make me a sandwich!” DAD: “Poof, you’re a sandwich!”
Image source: th0nkii
#30 Clear Reasons to Decline
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
Image source: DeathEater101
#31 Puns That Deserve A Standing Dad-Ovation
SERVER: “Sorry about your wait.” DAD: “Are you saying I’m fat?”
#32
What has two butts and kills people? An assassin
Image source: LeCrowing
#33 Age With Attitude
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? AYE MATEY
Image source: Muter
#34
CASHIER: “Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?” DAD: “No, just leave it in the carton!’”
Image source: ChiePie
#35
What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
Image source: Lliizzaarrddd
#36 Emergency Dessert Delivery?
When an ambulance zips past with its siren blaring: “They won’t sell much ice cream driving that fast.”
Image source: IABDPresents
#37
If Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US, he will be rolling in his grave.
Image source: porichoygupto
#38
What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador.
Image source: offmlc
#39 Math Humor Gets Real
5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.
Image source: jnnx3
#40
Why couldn’t the bike standup by itself? It was two tired.
Image source: TheLast0ne_
#41 Jokes For Grown-Up Kids
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
Image source: ElderCunningham
#42
GRANDPA: I have a ‘dad bod’, DAD: To me it’s more like a father figure.
Image source: maryfountain
#43 Pun Intended Pain
What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.
Image source: smithy2004
#44
When a dad drives past a cow pasture: LOOK! That cow is OUT-STANDING in his field!
#45
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1
Image source: BombOmbBuddy
#46
I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
Image source: TheSupraDixk
#47 Classic Dad Logic
When you ask a dad if he’s alright: “No, I’m half left.”
Image source: Admblackhawk
#48
KID: “Hey, I was thinking…” DAD: “I thought I smelled something burning.”
Image source: AshleyJack
#49
A termite walks into a bar and asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
Image source: BradC
#50 Punched Up Humor
Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.
Image source: usernamemispeled
#51
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
Image source: superdrew91
#52
SON: *hands my Dad his 50th birthday card*, DAD: You know, one would have been enough.
Image source: porichoygupto
#53 Motherhood Wordplay
When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding.
Image source: ownworldman
#54
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “Sorry we don’t serve food here.”
Image source: bobbyperuse
#55
Can February March? No, but April May!
Image source: guts_full_of_meat
#56 Dad Jokes That Hit Different
What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Image source: _solidwarp_
#57
Why did the crab never share? Because he’s shellfish.
Image source: Mr_McMuffins
#58
To call the whole Elon Musk controversy “Elon-Gate” seems like a bit of a stretch.
Image source: JuIius_Seizure95
#59 Nutty Wordplay Alert
Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.
Image source: ConcaveMishap
#60
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef. If the cow has no legs, then it’s ground beef.
Image source: allmyritz
#61 Unexpected Zingers You Didn’t See Coming
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I ever saw!
Image source: atodaso
#62
What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit? A ba-na-na-na.
Image source: mozeiny
#63
When you ask a dad if they got a haircut: “No, I got them all cut!”
Image source: KEERTHIVLOGS
#64 Forever Young Humor
Where did the college-aged vampire like to shop? Forever 21.
#65
GROCERY STORE CHECKER: “Paper or plastic?” DAD: “Either, I’m bisacktual.”
Image source: AshleyJack
#66
What did the horse say after it tripped? “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”
Image source: AshleyJack
#67 Musical Pets, Anyone?
You know what the loudest pet you can get is? A trumpet.
Image source: JonquilXanthippe
#68
Why wasn’t the woman happy with the velcro she bought? It was a total ripoff.
#69
What noise does a 747 make when it bounces? Boeing, Boeing, Boeing.
Image source: wehavechocolate
#70 Unstoppable Gentlemen
I hear it’s easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods. It’s more difficult to deter gents, though.
Image source: Boomkiller
#71
What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory.
Image source: TotalBuilder45
#72
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, “First offender?” She says, “No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!”
Image source: FunnyGenious
#73 Campfire Comedy
Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents!
Image source: ROTFLandmines
#74
You’re American when you go into the bathroom, and you’re American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you’re in there? European.
Image source: twofirstkinds
#75
I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language. I don’t know why.
Image source: IsaiaHarris03
#76
WAITRESS: “Soup or salad?” DAD: “I don’t want a SUPER salad, I want a regular salad.”
#77 Chilly Humor Ahead
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
Image source: dadjokes
#78
What does an angry pepper do? It gets jalapeño your face.
Image source: Peekatchu1997
#79
As a lumberjack, I know that I’ve cut exactly 2,417 trees. I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.
Image source: TF79870
#80 Paper Thin Humor
Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Never mind… it’s tearable.
Image source: boris73
#81 The Ultimate Eye-Rollers
Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!
Image source: Lee_Hey_pat
#82
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino.
Image source: K4RAB_THA_ARAB
#83 Caught in the Act
I was interrogated over the theft of a cheese toastie. Man, they really grilled me.
Image source: TheHaleyBaby
#84
If you rearrange the letters of “Postmen”. They get really pissed off.
Image source: porichoygupto
#85
A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
Image source: USAneedsAJohnson
#86 Exhausted From Dreaming
I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!
Image source: MayorMcGrimace
#87
You heard of that new band 1023MB? They’re good but they haven’t got a gig yet.
Image source: Gamer-Citrus
#88
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.
Image source: Rohi0109
#89 Legal Hay Drama
Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin? It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.
#90 Question & Answer Jokes That Keep You Guessing
What do you call a lonely cheese? Provolone.
Image source: Versacepoop
#91
DAD, TO A SINGER: “Don’t forget a bucket.” SINGER: “Why?” DAD: “To carry your tune.”
Image source: _solidwarp_
#92
I told my 14 year old son I thought ‘Fortnite’ was a stupid name for a computer game. I think it is just too weak.
Image source: 24two
#93 Boogie Down Humor
How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!
Image source: BasedOnAir
#94
How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says, “Ribbit, ribbit” and a horny toad says, “Rub it, rub it.”
Image source: turtleforeskin88
#95
What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.
Image source: Iplaychesssometimes
#96 Pop Culture Bite
Why didn’t the vampire attack Taylor Swift? She had bad blood.
Image source: omgthatspunny
#97
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse!
Image source: madazzahatter
#98
NURSE: “Blood type?” DAD: “Red.”
#99 Fishy Wordplay
What do you call a fish with two knees? A “two-knee” fish.
Image source: blacklutefisk
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