As much as you might not like to admit it, big tech companies know a lot of information about you. Every time you agree to their terms of service or log into their website with your Facebook account, they instantly have access to more data than you’d probably feel comfortable sharing with anyone you know personally.
Typically, we have no way of knowing exactly what these companies know about us. But Amazon shoppers recently noticed that they could see some insights into how the company perceives them, and the results have gone viral. Here’s a list of some of the most hilarious observations Amazon has made about its customers, so enjoy scrolling through, and be sure to upvote the ones that make you laugh!
#1
I am a 40 year old woman (with friends).
Image source: marissagbaker
#2
He does actually.
Image source: kkulchong__
#3
I’m.
Image source: shadow.mommy
It shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone that Amazon keeps extremely detailed records on all of its customers. Whether you shop online for books, clothes, furniture, or supplies for your hobbies, your purchases say something about you.
But some things are better left unknown. You don’t need to know everything that other people think about you or say behind your back, and you probably don’t need to know what assumptions big tech companies have made about you. If curiosity has gotten the best of you, though, TechCrunch shared an explanation of how to find out if Amazon thinks you have “flat buttocks.”
#4
I feel called out & seen at the same time and I don’t know how to feel about that…
Image source: thereadingmerbabes
#5
Mine were all pretty tame, books I like, has a dog, has a cat. And then this!
Image source: carlaaaa77
#6
LMAO.
Image source: lovelinz
You can find this information by clicking on “Account” on Amazon and then going to the “Your Account” section. Click on “Ordering and shopping preferences,” then “Your Shopping preferences.” If you scroll to the bottom of the page, you’ll see “Manage your information.” From there, you’ll be able to see exactly what the tech giant thinks of you.
Obviously, all of their assumptions may not be correct. You could have purchased something for a friend or family member that they assumed was for you, or you might have browsed items that you’d never actually purchase yourself. But this page is a reminder that big tech companies know so much more about us than we often realize.
#7
My 6 year old has to be stopped, because now Alexa thinks I can’t type.
Image source: nyheisha
#8
Found on my mom’s amazon acct lmao.
Image source: emi.tatsumaki
#9
…what?
Image source: cocoatype
According to research by Security.org, of all the big tech companies, Google keeps the most data on its users. They keep track of everything from your address to comments you leave on YouTube. They don’t keep customers’ Social Security numbers or driver’s license numbers, but that’s not saying much considering how much info they do have. They even share your data with various third parties, such as advertisers, publishers, and developers.
#10
I got called out:.
Image source: halecleo
#11
I love what, now???
Image source: jessicarobn
#12
The accuracy is important to me, so these are fine.
Image source: jcolgan004
Unsurprisingly, Meta also keeps a close eye on its users’ data. They don’t keep track of quite as much as Google, but they do collect data on your payment information and contact info from your devices. Of course, they also keep track of your location and share your information with plenty of third-party advertisers. That’s why you’ll often see hyper-specific targeted ads pop up on Facebook or Instagram.
#13
I am CRYING.
Image source: rosewrecker
#14
Thanks for pointing this out, Amazon…
Image source: kat.952
#15
What could I possibly have done to suggest this.
Image source: danielle.eldridge
Amazon, on the other hand, actually does store users’ Social Security numbers and driver’s license numbers, along with stored photos and videos, stored documents, and contact info from devices. They aren’t keeping track of emails you write and receive or comments you leave on YouTube, though; they leave that to Google. One good thing about Amazon, however, is that they actually allow users to opt out of having their data shared with third parties.
#16
It’s actually my left eye but this is still uncomfortably specific??
Image source: my_role_to_sleep
#17
I WISH!
Image source: terrataratera
#18
This is awesome. I am not a dad
Image source: takingbackmysomeday
On Security.org’s data collection scoring system, the company that actually performed the best was Apple. Receiving an A+, Apple collects minimal data on users compared to many other tech giants. They were also the only company to not source any information about users from publicly accessible sources. They may, however, use third parties to verify information that users provide to them, such as the address that is associated with a user’s credit card number.
#19
Guilty as charged ¯_(ツ)_/¯.
Image source: moomily
#20
I don’t think befriending a squirrel is weird either.
Image source: thedogcollarstore
#21
Why does it even know this?!
Image source: jessica.cruz___
Now, you might be wondering why we should care about our data privacy at all. In this day and age, it is hard to have any control over our information. But the European Union says data protection is a fundamental right protected by law. Plus, data privacy helps to prevent fraud and cybercrimes, which can save consumers plenty of time and money. We deserve to be able to protect our information, even if big tech companies don’t think so.
#22
Behahahahaha amazon. You right. But damn. It also knows I own a dog.
Image source: so_richwa
#23
Bye.
Image source: han.griswol
#24
Seeing everyone get read for filth and meanwhile my Amazon isn’t even fully confident that I’m not homeless. Y’all need to get more mysterious ASAP.
Image source: jamielynn917
We would love to hear your thoughts on these assumptions made by Amazon, pandas. Have you checked your own account to see what they think of you? And do you think it’s appropriate for them to keep this kind of information? Then, if you’re looking for another article from Bored Panda featuring Amazon, look no further than right here!
#25
Mine got deep.
Image source: julietcobodo
#26
This is embarrassing.
Image source: yeetedrevelry
#27
That was supposed to be between me and Alexa.
Image source: hello_beautiful21
#28
I mean. Yes.
Image source: fanfictionmillennial
#29
Well that’s uncalled for Amazon.
Image source: __claudiaelizabeth__
#30
It was one time!!!!
Image source: lindsayfic
#31
This is cracking me up bc it’s like “likely does this, likely does that” but it’s SURE I have a hamster. I do not have a hamster.
Image source: clhubes
#32
True but rude lol.
Image source: darlingfacedesigns
#33
💀💀💀
Image source: granted.wish.b
#34
Why yes, yes I do.
Image source: shelfindulgencereads
#35
💀
Image source: thatpuertorican_
#36
Ok but actually.
Image source: ajdewerd
#37
One time Alexa told me it was 69 degrees out and I said “nice”.
Image source: professortacox
#38
I sound like I would be incredibly fun at parties.
Image source: crossedmoss
#39
This one cracked me up. What? But also this is horrifying…
Image source: chacksvic
#40
I may have said some things.
Image source: maebelleme
#41
Oh great.
Image source: catherine11_04
#42
Um, not sure how Amazon got to that last conclusion…
Image source: twinsfantrisha
#43
STOP.
Image source: cherieish
#44
I genuinely have no clue.
Image source: lisanne624
#45
I beg your pardon??? I do not eat salad.
Image source: khatsews
#46
This is way too loud.
Image source: joymwhitt
#47
I raise you this.
Image source: philadeliza
#48
Do you think it’s worked out what sort of literature I like?
Image source: berryclouds_
#49
What?! How is this even a thing? I don’t even know if I can legitimately recall a time I’ve seen what this is referring to.
Image source: venetia_morris
#50
My son is always talking to Alexa. Apparently he is the customer here. “Customer’s mom…” I am the customer.
Image source: sarahjclarkson
#51
Alexa was being so pushy about it. Maybe I was too stern but I did tell her no I will not let you personalize my echo experience.
Image source: vvronna
#52
I do not own a company.
Image source: marycolleenellison
#53
From the most specific to most general info lol.
Image source: jessica_k_watson
#54
What?
Image source: cpd5309
#55
Excuse me how dare they call me out like that.
Also I love that it thinks I “likely” live in my home city. Yes it’s the city in my home address and also where literally everything gets delivered but there is a chance it’s all a ruse and I actually live in an entirely different part of the country.
Image source: timetravellingredhead
#56
It’s a good hobby, I guess.
Image source: jenaway.railway
#57
I mean yes but wth.
Image source: heyitscourtneyem
#58
Where the HELL did this come from?????
Image source: lydrus
#59
Oh really? The crazy part is that I vaguely remember this? Or is it a fever dream?
Image source: mochanutpi
#60
I hyperfixate on maple chicken sausage ONE time and all of a sudden that’s all I am.
Image source: lilyshankari
#61
I mean, okay I guess.
Image source: tayred.atx
#62
It feels so judgy?
Image source: omn8vega
#63
Mine is way less specific.
Image source: thecancan
Follow Us
