Do you know how long dinosaurs lived? According to USGS, these giant reptiles roamed the Earth for about 165 million years before going extinct around 65 million years ago. So, besides this and them being the subject of dinosaur puns and jokes, what else is so cool about them?
Well, for starters, they were giant—an instant bonus! Second, some of them had ridiculously short arms (or forelegs, hands, front limbs), others were spiny, and some of them could even fly or spend their days pretending to be even bigger manatees than the manatees of our days.
It’s also pretty cool that dinosaurs went extinct because, in our opinion, bears and giant anacondas are more than enough to be afraid of. Hopefully, those giant reptiles won’t resurface again, or some mad scientist won’t recreate them out of DNA samples because we all know how that would end. Do we need to remind you about Jurassic Park?
Image credit: Deb Dowd
The thing that’s left out of dinosaurs—besides fossils, some petrified bones, and chickens—is their ability to inspire jokes and funny dinosaur puns. A thing that we are perfectly content with, as it’s so much easier to tease these intimidating prehistoric lizards than it would be watching them tease us. And ridicule we will!
We’ve created a list of 125 dinosaur jokes for adults and kids just to harangue about how reptiles are the best pun fodder. They are also the greatest inspiration for prehistoric but funny dinosaur jokes. So, are you ready to tickle your funny bone?
It’s probably time to end this low-key rant about how scared we are of reptiles and skip right to the funny dinosaur jokes! Besides the dinosaur jokes for kids, we researched and found an expert who kindly talked to us about real-life ‘dinosaurs’—Gerardas Paškevičius, the owner of a vast and diverse collection of reptiles.
You know what to do—scroll down below to check the interview and clever puns we’ve found on hairless ogres that once ruled the Earth, vote for the funniest dinosaur dad jokes, and share this article with your friends!
#1
What is a dinosaur’s least favorite reindeer? Comet!
#2
What do you call a dinosaur after a breakup? Tyrannosaurus ex!
#3
Can you do it? You bet Jurassican.
#4
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A Thesaurus.
#5
Why can’t you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent!
#6
Why did T-Rex’s girlfriend break up with him? Because he said he only loved her “this much” (with his tiny arms spread wide).
#7
What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes? Out of the way as fast as you can.
#8
What do you call a dinosaur who’s a noisy sleeper? A Tyranno-snorus!
#9
What do you call the ghost of a dinosaur? A scaredactyl.
#10
What do you call it when a dinosaur has a car accident? A tyrannosaurus wreck!
#11
Our local museum has opened a brand new dinosaur exhibit. I don’t know if it will be popular or not. That remains to be seen.
#12
What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with a pig? Jurassic Pork!
#13
What do you call an anxious dino? A nervous Rex.
#14
And what do you call a baby dinosaur? A Wee-Rex!
#15
What did they call sunrise in prehistoric times? Meglodawn.
#16
Dinosaurs can’t go on boats, they cause too many Ship Rex.
#17
What’s a dinosaur’s favorite drink? Rex on the beach!
#18
What’s the best way to raise a baby dinosaur? With a crane.
#19
Receptionist: Doctor, there’s an invisible dinosaur in the waiting room.
Doctor: Tell her I can’t see her!
#20
What sport is a brontosaurus good at? Squash.
#21
Scientists have discovered a fossilized dinosaur fart. They described it as a blast from the past.
#22
What do you call a dinosaur who won’t stop rambling? A dino-bore!
#23
Why are dinosaurs never overweight? They’re surrounded by scales.
#24
Why was the teenage dinosaur so moody? ROARmones.
#25
Where did the dinosaur clown get a job? At the carnivore.
#26
What dinosaur would Harry Potter be? The dinosorcerer.
#27
Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory? Because she was a plant-eater.
#28
How do dinosaurs feel when they step in poison oak? Ichthyosaur.
#29
What’s the nickname for someone who put their right hand in the mouth of a T-Rex? Lefty.
#30
Why did the Archaeopteryx catch the worm? Because it was an early bird!
#31
What do you call the dog of a dinosaur with one eye? Do-you-think-he-saurus rex.
#32
I’m not saur-ee I came up with this half-baked pun. I feel ptero-bill.
#33
What type of tool did prehistoric carpenters use? Dino-saws!
#34
How do you know that a seismosaurus is under your bed? Because your nose is only two inches from the ceiling!
#35
What’s a child’s favorite dinosaur? A Toys-‘R-Us.
#36
What do you call a polite Dinosaur? A Pleaseyosaur.
#37
Who does a dinosaur call when he’s being robbed? The tricera-cops.
#38
What kind of dinosaur is made of cheese? Gorgonzilla.
#39
What do you call a blind dinosaur? Doyouthinkysaurus.
#40
Where do dinosaurs go shopping? The dino-store!
#41
What do you get when you cross a tyrannosaurus rex with explosives? Dino-mite.
#42
What is the best way to talk to a velociraptor? Long-distance!
#43
How do you know if there is a dinosaur in your fridge? The door won’t shut!
#44
What does a triceratops sit on? Its tricera-bottom.
#45
What was T. rex’s favorite number? Eight! (ate)
#46
How did the cavemen survive the asteroid that killed all the dinosaurs? Social distancing, they stayed 56 million years apart.
#47
What do you call a dinosaur from Canada? Torontosaurus Rex.
#48
How do sales people approach dinosaurs in clothes shops? Try, sir, a top?
#49
What is purple and green and won’t stop singing? Barney taking a shower.
#50
What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode? What a lavaly day!
#51
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because the P is silent!
#52
What do you call a short spiky dinosaur who fell down the stairs? Ankle-is-sore-us.
#53
How did the triceratops speed up his computer? He gave it a good RAM.
#54
My pupil asked which writer wrote the best dinosaur stories. I said he should try Sarah Topps.
#55
What do you call a paleontologist who sleeps all the time? Lazy bones!
#56
What dinosaur can’t you hear go to the bathroom? All of them, they’re all dead.
#57
What do you call a dinosaur that asks a lot of deep questions? A philosiraptor.
#58
How do you know if there’s a stegosaurus in your refrigerator? The door won’t close.
#59
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed? Find somewhere else to sleep!
#60
What do you call it when a dinosaur gets a touchdown? A dino-score!
#61
What did the dinosaur put on her steak? Dinosauce.
#62
Do you know how long dinosaurs lived? The same as short ones.
#63
What came after the dinosaur? Its tail.
#64
What do you call a dinosaur who keeps you awake at night? A bronto-snore-us (or a dino-snore).
#65
What does a T-rex’s play on at the playground? The dino-see-saw.
#66
The dino-store was the favourite one-stop shop for all the prehistoric reptiles.
#67
What’s the best thing to do if you see a Tyrannosaurus Rex? Pray that it does not see you.
#68
Duno puns are pteroble.
#69
What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try-try-try-ceratops!
#70
What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor out in the rain? A Stegosau-rust!
#71
What do you call a dinosaur fart? An exstinktion!
#72
What did the dinosaur call her blouse business? Try Sara’s Tops!
#73
What do you call a spooky dinosaur? A terror-adactyl!
#74
What do you call a dinosaur wearing a cowboy hat and boots? Tyrannosaurus Tex!
#75
Do you think anything could tricera-top these dinosaur puns? I dino what to tell you, but probably not.
#76
What do you call a T.Rex who can’t accept defeat? A saur loser.
#77
What does a dinosaur with sleep apnea do? He dino-snores.
#78
What do you call a group of singing dinosaurs? A tyranno-chorus.
#79
What is the scariest type of dinosaur? A Terror-dactyl.
#80
What did the dinosaur say to the cashier? Keep the climate change.
#81
What’s a sailor’s favorite dinosaur? The mast-odon.
#82
Here is your dinosaur toy! Would you like it gift raptor not?
#83
You laugh now, but the skeletal remains of dinosaurs don’t find it humerus.
#84
He’s all skin and bones.
#85
How can you tell if there’s an allosaurus lying in your bed? You’ll see the bright red “A” on its pyjamas.
#86
Why was the stegosaurus such a good volleyball player? He could really spike the ball!
#87
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles.
#88
What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo? A Bronco-saurus!
#89
What would happen if a 100-ton Brachiosaurus stepped on you?You’d be deeply impressed.
#90
Which is the clumsiest dinosaur? Break-iosaur.
#91
Who is a dinosaur’s best friend? Iguano-dog.
#92
What dinosaur could jump higher than a house? All of them. Houses can’t jump.
#93
What should you do if you find a blue Dilophosaurus? Try to cheer him up!
#94
What is found in the middle of dinosaurs? The letter S.
#95
What did Rex say to Woody after eating a toy? You got a friend in me.
#96
Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds? Yes, one Gorgosaurus and nine velociraptors!
#97
Why does the brontosaurus have a long neck? Its feet smell.
#98
Which dinosaur always shoots first and asks questions later? Ammo-saurus.
#99
The one-eyed dinosaur passed us somewhere along the forest lane, but I am not sure he-saurus.
#100
The dinosaur charged with sewing the garments for all the prehistoric animals was known as a dino-sewer.
#101
When looking after dinosaurs, ensure the stegosaur-rust doesn’t stay out in the rain.
#102
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw!
#103
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? Eye-saur!
#104
What’s a dinosaur’s favorite quote? “Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures!”
#105
What do you call twin dinosaurs? Pair-odactyls!
#106
Do you think he saurus (saw us)?
#107
A sight for saur eyes.
#108
I’ve got a bone to pick with you.
#109
Why do museums exhibit old dinosaur bones? Because they can’t afford new ones!
#110
Why did the Tyrannosaurus Rex cross the road? Because the chickens hadn’t evolved yet.
#111
What did dinosaurs use to drive their cars? Fossil fuels.
#112
What’s the best thing to do if you see a tyrannosaurus rex? Pray that it doesn’t see you.
#113
Which dinosaur had to wear glasses? Tyrannosaurus specs.
#114
What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? A diplodocus with a sore throat.
#115
Which dinosaur always wants a bargain when he shops? Mega-low-saurus (megalosaurus).
#116
What is the most magical dinosaur? Diplo-pocus.
#117
Which dinosaur is the most neurotic? Parasaurolo-fuss.
#118
What dinosaur hangs out in lunch boxes? A peanut butter and jeholopterus.
#119
Which dinosaur is best at yard work? Mows-asaurus.
#120
Which dinosaur never has any money? No-dough-saurus.
#121
What do you call a carpenter with no arms? A cannotasarus.
#122
Sticks out like a saur thumb.
#123
The no-dough-saurus was the only broke dinosaur at the party.
#124
Why don’t dinosaurs ever forget? Because they never knew anything in the first place.
#125
How many dinosaurs can you fit in an empty box? After that, the box isn’t empty.
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