When teenagers finally become adults, they are let in on the little secret that no one actually knows what they are doing. The truth is that even seasoned adults sometimes need to ask for help and advice to navigate life.
One netizen asked the internet “What’s a common mistake people make in their 30s?” People shared the ups and downs, misconceptions, and little victories of growing older. So make yourself comfortable, maybe find somewhere to take notes and get to scrolling. Be sure to upvote your favorite posts and comment your thoughts below.
#1
Stay in unhealthy toxic relationships.
Image source: Lavenderplatte, Gustavo Fring
#2
Having kids for the sake of having kids.
Image source: WhatFreshHellIsThiss, Ketut Subiyanto
#3
Thinking they are too old. Never too late to switch career paths or look for a new relationship or start taking care of your health.
Giterdun456:
I just turned 30 and realized I’m a bad person. Lying, manipulation, cheating, etc. But I went back into weekly therapy, and I’m pretty determined to not be like this going forward.
Image source: Mans_Got_Cheaks, Andrea Piacquadio
#4
Settling for a spouse.
thefox47545:
See this SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH! People getting married for the sake of getting married. As a consequence, I’m seeing divorces SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH too! Been on dates where it’s obvious the girl wants the title of wife more than actually being a wife.
Image source: FunStorm6487, RDNE Stock project
#5
Not exercising enough and eating a cr*ppy diet. You can’t get away with those things anymore like you did in your 20s.
Image source: DeathSpiral321, Tara Clark
#6
Not wearing sunscreen and taking care of your skin. especially your face.
Image source: EarthLoveAR, Miriam Alonso
#7
I think the biggest mistake _I_ made in my 30s was kind of going on autopilot. I’m 42 in a month, and, to be dead honest, I’m not sure my 30s even happened. It feels like I went from 29 to 40. And I think it’s because I just kind of kept my head down and carried on as usual. I should have spent that time being more pro-active. Stupid me, but it doesn’t have to be stupid you!
Image source: MothraWillSaveUs, MART PRODUCTION
#8
Staying at a job they are severely unhappy at and accepting toxic work environments. Cough cough teachers
Image source: Dry_Muffin_5905, Kampus Production
#9
Not taking care of your teeth.
Image source: sixfeetone, Sora Shimazaki
#10
Being concerned about not being the young, trendy generation anymore. Wear your skinny jeans all you want, millennial women!
Image source: SparkleFartFromKmart, Laura Chouette
#11
Panicing. You do not need to have a great career, partner, 4-bedroom house, and baby on the way just because your 20s are over. Relax.
Image source: CampusTour, Mikhail Nilov
#12
Romanticizing your 20s and fearing your 40s. (live where you are).
iamnottheuser:
It’s so easy to romanticize the past and fear the future. Life is organic, and so are we. We will keep changing and oftentimes in a good way (stronger, wiser, more confident, etc.). I’m so happy to be who I am at 37.
Image source: theresites, Mikhail Nilov
#13
Taking care of your body. Once I turned 31 lots of medical issues arose for me from various things but contact sports leave more damage than you know. Go to the dentist go to the doctor be active. I say all this as I’m about to be in a hospital during a hurricane in Florida. Take care of yourself physically. mentally. and spiritually.
Image source: brownie1225, cottonbro studio
#14
Making relationship decisions based on avoiding/meeting/holding on to milestones by a certain age. (I can’t be a divorcee at 34, I have to be married by 34, I need to start a family in the next two years, I’m too old to start dating again, etc.)
Image source: Beetin, Alena Darmel
#15
Not listening to their burnout signals and just settling in for the long haul. You’re not going to make it. And if you do “make it” you won’t like yourself or the sacrifices you had to make along the way.
Image source: JetKeel, Mizuno K
#16
Thinking you’re a finished product, not likely to change all that much.
Image source: kat_Folland, Porapak Apichodilok
#17
Biggest mistake I made in my 30’s was not enjoying them more.
Young enough to party, still play some sports, and perfectly in place in any bar. You have energy, you have a circle of friends (that will get smaller, trust me).
Try to carpe a diem every once in a while, the decade passes VERY quickly.
Image source: hockeynoticehockey, Kampus Production
#18
Not getting over or at least somewhat understanding your childhood and parental issues. Understanding that stuff can make the rest of your life easier.
Image source: redpaloverde, SHVETS production
#19
Not getting that thing checked out by a doctor.
Image source: dreamtofalligators, Antoni Shkraba
#20
Thinking you can’t make a difference in someone’s life because the world is too large to see your small act. I have a student with extreme depression, and I always remind her that it’s not a bad life, it’s a bad day when she has an attack. Even though she is usually too upset to talk or even respond, I just sit with her in silence until the crisis passes. A lot of people will ask me why I even bother, she’ll never get better, my action is insignificant and means nothing, but you know what: it meant something to her and made her life better. That’s good enough for me. Never think you can’t make a difference, people.
Image source: CrystPlaneswalker
#21
Not stretching. Like not necessarily before exercise (though absolutely that too) but just in general.
Image source: MurtaughFusker, Alexy Almond
#22
Thinking you need the job, house, marriage, kids combo to be perfect.
I got into a profession I loved at 32, after I switched careers, and went back to school at 29. I’ve had 4 different jobs since.
Bought a house at 34. Got lucky. Right now is not the time.
Had a kid at 38- it took 6 years of trying.
I’m really happy.
No fairytale relationship, and that’s ok. Never married, don’t believe in it.
It’s never too late to retrain for a job, houses depend a lot on APR and debt ratio, marriage is expensive if you do it with the wrong person, kids are a blessing if you want them, there are natural limits to fertility. If you don’t, lots of wonderful contraceptive options don’t depend on other people for that.
Live the life you want for you and the people who support and uplift you. Ignore social media and ignore social norms. Do commit to something special, a person, a project, a dream. Commitment yields good things! Don’t lose out on a good thing you have, while imagining everything you do not have is better.
The grass is greener where you water it. Or you know, tear it up and plant something local. Everything I have achieved took years of planning, support, and intention. Slow and steady. Small and focused.
Image source: Working_Ad4014, Caleb Oquendo
#23
Not starting to save for retirement.
Image source: Umpire, Oleksandr P
#24
Smoking. You need to quit that s**t. After 10 years of smoking I stopped smoking at the age of 28. Best thing I’ve ever done. Now I am 32, healthier than ever.
Image source: asaw123
#25
Comparing their lifestyle to other 30-somethings.
ThunderBobMajerle:
Your peer’s success can seem perfect from afar and make you feel inadequate. But if you sit down and talk with them, you will learn all sorts of shortcomings and difficulties in their life that will make you appreciate something about yourself and your situation. In other words, we’re all just out here trying to function.
Image source: Affectionate_Item_51, Brooke Cagle
#26
Thinking you aren’t STILL sexy, sensual, and desirable. You are, you’re beautiful.
Image source: PanDulcez
#27
Thinking it’s too late to do something. “I don’t have any credit built”, “I don’t have any retirement savings”, and get disheartened from trying. The best time was yesterday, the next best time is today.
Image source: MrsKetchup, Adrian Swancar
#28
Thinking you have to be settled in your career. 39 and starting over. Excited for new chapter.
Image source: Main-Shift6434
#29
My mistake was not traveling and remaining in my own near-sighted American cocoon. My advice is to travel as soon as you can and sample what the World has to offer. Places in the U.S. and overseas may offer better environments and circumstances well beyond what you have today.
Image source: Plus-Ad-940
#30
This one is not specific to the 30s: Not understanding our inner world is the biggest mistake. As Carl Jung wrote: ‘But you cannot flee from yourself. It is with you all the time and demands fulfillment.’ A significant portion of who we truly are, what we like, what we are capable of, and the reasons we do the things we do, persist within a realm we don’t actively understand or have access to. To become our true selves, we need introspection to learn about the aspects of our being that we are unaware of, dislike or hide.
Image source: FereshtehS, cottonbro studio
#31
To summarize my points below: Your 30s is when you are really in the thick of “adulting”. It’s easy to loose focus on what is really important to you among all the demands and responsibilities.
Not Fostering Friendships: As you enter your 30s, maintaining and nurturing friendships becomes more challenging. It’s a time when connections can fade, and forming new ones becomes harder. It’s very important to invest effort in the friendships you currently have. **Edit:** A few people have commented about what to do when people don’t reciprocate? My advise – keep trying! Everyone is under water in their 30’s, they likely won’t be able to make every attempt at outreach you make. But over time as things become less hectic they will remember you kept trying (without guilt) and will appreciate it and come back to you. But toxic people, yeah cut those out!
Not Nurturing Your Romantic Relationship: Responsibilities increase in your 30s like careers, parenthood, and caregiving for aging parents. It’s common for the most crucial relationship – your romantic partnership – to be inadvertently neglected. Avoid taking your partner for granted, assuming they’ll always be around, or treating them as an outlet for your worst moments.
Not Preserving Your Identity: Similar to the previous points, your 30s come with a whirlwind of conflicting priorities that can lead you to lose touch with your identity. It’s easy to forget what truly brings you joy and satisfaction. Maintain a hobby that gives your life purpose and regularly reflect on whether your job still fulfills your needs in terms of purpose, financial stability, and overall satisfaction.
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