Bob’s Burgers Season 5 Episode 13 Review: “The Gayle Tales”

Bob’s Burgers is back, baby! There wasn’t nearly enough time for me to write down all of the fantastic things that happened in this episode, but I did it anyway. Not even a minute in and we’ve got one of the best lines of the season. Gene sits on a stool squeaking it and he says, “This stool sounds like seal the animal and Seal the amazing singer.” The whole episode was flawless from there.

Linda grounds the kids, and they desperately want to get out of it, which I must note is for a completely mysterious reason. We don’t learn until the very end why she grounded them. Bob even says, “Here’s something fun to do, I need someone to get the old grease out to the dumpster,” and Louise replies, “Don’t talk about mom that way!” Perfect.

Gayle arrives in tears, and I’m never thrilled to see her, but the results of her appearance are what make the episode. Her date stands her up for their planned date at Yarnival which is a Cirque du Soleil for cats, so she has to find someone who will go with her (of course she wants Bob), but the kids all volunteer. Linda makes an exception and says that one of the kids can go if they win an essay contest. So they all write an story featuring Gayle and, guys, I can’t capture how fantastic it was. In true favoritism, it starts weakly with Gene, gets pretty good with Tina, and gets hilarious with Louise. Here we go.

Gene’s story focuses on Lindette and Jo Gene, a country duo looking to make it big in Nashville. It reads very Easter Parade. Linda leaves Gene to go solo, and just when Gene thinks his career is over, he meets Gayle. They go to the singing competition and win!

Tina’s story is straight Jane Austen, and she calls it “Lady Chatterteeth’s Lover.” Gayle, Tina, Gene, and Louise are all sisters appropriately dressed for the period story, and they spend their days sewing the butts back onto soldiers pants when they were shot off in battle, which is ridiculous. Tina wants to marry Lord Jimmy Junior but is forbidden to do so until her older sister marries (but she is simply too shy). Bob appears as an abandoned rich suitor, heir to the Belcher Burger fortune. They get set up for the ball and everything is great until his fiancée, Linda, shows up! Gasp! Luckily, Scott Bakula appears to save the day, and they live happily ever after.

Now, for Louise’s rendition. “GAYLE OF THRONES.” Yes, you read that right. Louise casts Gayle as Daenerys Targaryen, Linda as Cersei Lannister, and herself as Oberyn Martell. Gene the warlock steals Gayle’s cat dragons on behalf of Lindarian, so Louise and Gayle must go on a quest to save them. When they arrive at Lindarian’s country, they encounter White Talkers, which are just thousands of Teddy’s who will bore you into a death like slumber. Classic. Linda and Gayle agree to fight to the death (but through other people, of course), and Linda reveals her pit of ravenous porcelain babies. Louise wins and Bobdor (yes, Bob is Hodor) and pushes Linda into the pit of babies. Gayle wins and Scott Bakula appears to save the lack of romantic interest once again.

It seems almost certain that Louise has won the contest when Gayle’s date enters the restaurant explaining the misunderstanding. The kids beg Linda to let them go since the prank was so funny. Turns out, they tricked Linda into grabbing ice cream in a freezer as Gene grabbed her ankles. She fell back into a pile of maxi pads, farted, and everyone laughed at her. She admits that it was pretty funny in the end and only requires the kids to watch whatever TV show she wants with her.

Thanks Bob’s Burgers team for making this hilarious episode.

Funny moments:

– Austen-Bob commenting on Gayle’s ankles.

– All four sisters arrive on one horse to the party.

– Louise enters the party looking for food and says, “Gonna leave this place with a month’s worth of food!”

[Photo via FOX]