When I was born, almost every adult in my family had their own ideas about what name I should have. Naming after a distant relative, a celebrity… my father insisted on calling me “Ivan” after his late dad, but my mom beat him to it and registered me under the name I still bear to this day.
And you know what? Ever since then, I’ve had a keen interest in various naming dramas. For example, like this one from the user u/FatouStefanache, which we invite you to read today. It’s a story about a grandma who decided that if her granddaughter wasn’t named after her, then why did she even need a granddaughter?
More info: Reddit
Sometimes picking the name for the newborn baby cause real family drama – so this story is actually of the same kind
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author and her husband will have their first baby soon and they have already picked a beautiful name for her
Image credits: FatouStefanache
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
However the author’s mom demanded they named the baby after herself only – otherwise calling it “disrespectful”
Image credits: FatouStefanache
Image credits: wayhomestudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The mom-to-be refused, so the grandma told she’d not acknowledge the baby under another name
Image credits: FatouStefanache
The author and her husband were just blindsided by this harsh revelation and the author decided to seek support online
So, the Original Poster (OP) is 30 years old, she’s pregnant with her first child, a girl, and she and her husband had long ago decided on a name for the baby. Something like “Emma Rose” – the former in honor of the husband’s late grandma, who played a significant role in their lives, and the latter simply because they like it. After all, it’s the parents who choose the baby’s name, right?
Oh, no! At least, according to the author’s mom, the child should only be named “Patricia” – in her honor. This is precisely what the grandma-to-be told the couple during a video call when she was informed that the baby would be named “Emma Rose.” However, the author immediately refused – neither she nor her husband intended to name their daughter “Patricia.”
The grandma’s face changed. She sternly declared that in that case, she wouldn’t acknowledge the baby – and, in her view, a child who doesn’t bear the grandmother’s name looks like outright disrespect to her. Our heroine and her spouse were shocked by this revelation, and the call ended with a huge fight. However, it didn’t change the parents’ minds about naming.
Since then, the OP’s mom has started bombarding daughter with numerous texts, suggesting various name options – but they all always included “Patricia.” The original poster is even considering blocking her now. The author’s dad (he and her mother have been divorced for a long time) simply advised her to just ignore mom since “she’ll get over it eventually.” So, the OP just decided to ask people online for advice as well.
Image credits: Bizon / Freepik (not the actual photo)
“It’s one thing if a family truly has a tradition of naming newborn children after members of older generations – but even then, parents are perfectly within their rights to break that tradition anyway,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. “But it’s quite another thing when it’s simply a whim on the grandmother’s part.”
According to the expert, in this situation, it looks like the grandmother was simply trying to emotionally blackmail the child’s future parents to get her way. A fairly typical case that simply looks like a blatant manifestation of narcissism.
“In such cases, having been denied what they desire, people begin to resort to various moral ploys and outright threats – just in order to achieve the goal they see. It’s quite typical ‘tunnel vision,’ when a person notices practically nothing on the way to their goal, sometimes neglecting basic humanity,” Irina Matveeva summarizes.
People in the comments also noted that the original poster did the right thing, and that it’s up to the mom and dad to decide what name their child will actually bear. If the grandmother continues her inappropriate attempts, commenters urged the OP to simply go no contact. So do you, our dear readers, agree with this? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below the post.
Most commenters sided with the mom-to-be and simply urged her to go no contact with mother for such offensive words
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