30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

Anyone who has ever succumbed to the “Harry Potter” phenomenon knows that magic is real. And don’t worry; we haven’t gone mad. We realize Hogwarts doesn’t exist. We admit this parallel universe of magic and the wizards and witches who wield it are creatures of the imagination. But the way this fantasy series cast a spell on the Muggle world proves that the boy who lived in it continues to live on in the hearts of many.

Many devoted Potterheads recall the moment of putting the final book down and mourning that the story is over. Or is it? It looks like some fans couldn’t help but wonder about the ways things ended and decided to take action themselves. “How could JKR have ended the Harry Potter books that would have most pissed you off?” Redditor ykickamoocow111 asked, and the internet offered heaps of responses.

30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

The user kicked off the thread by sharing a few events that would have angered them a great deal:

Hundreds of people got creative and decided to share their takes on the most horrible, sad, and riddikulus different endings that would have left them fuming. So we at Bored Panda gathered some of the most intriguing responses from the thread to share with you all. All aboard the Hogwarts Express! Be sure to upvote your favorite replies and chime in with your own ideas in the comments!

Psst! For more wizarding goodness, check out our earlier piece on funny memes every Potterhead will have no trouble relating to.

#1

The final scene is Harry sat in a therapists office, in a psychiatric ward. The therapist tries to convince Harry, yet again, that he needs to face the reality that his parents died in a car crash. That watching it happen and then being raised by his cruel aunt and uncle who locked I’m in a cupboard under the stairs often, gave him severe mental illness, delusions of grandeur and hallucinations. That this whole ‘wizard school’ doesn’t exist, and he needs to face the truth.

Harry stands, shouts ‘stupefy!’ while pointing a pen at the therapist, before grabbing the broom in the corner of the room, leaping out of the window with it between his legs, and plummeting 40 feet to his death.

30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

Image source: DukeInterior, Warner Bros. Pictures

#2

Right as Voldemort is about to kill Harry the Ford Anglia comes out of nowhere and runs him over

30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

Image source: applejax5309, Warner Bros. Pictures

#3

Harry wakes up. It was all a dream.

But, later that day, an owl arrives from Hogwarts with a letter for Dudley.

30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

Image source: Ellynne729, Warner Bros. Pictures

#4

I have always had this alternative ending I’ve imagined since I was a kid. Like what if Harry fully defeats Voldemort and destroys all the horcruxes except the one within himself. The Voldemorts soul inside of Harry overtakes Harry’s consciousness and becomes himself in Harry’s body.

30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

Image source: ThatOneGuyJake12, Warner Bros. Pictures

#5

Ford Anglia saves the day. Gets official pardon from the Ministry of Magic and no longer has to live on the run. Ford Anglia and Hogwarts Express ride off into the sunset together

Image source: HibernatingHistorian

#6

Harry’s whole story is just a fanfic written by Colin Creevey. In actuality, Harry’s only major issue was having to stay with the Dursleys over the summer who, honestly, weren’t as bad as Colin portrayed them. Voldemort actually died when he cast the curse that left Harry alive. Other than that, he was a typical average Hogwarts student. Everything else was a product of Colin’s overactive imagination and obsession with Harry.

30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

Image source: ccaccus, Warner Bros. Pictures

#7

If Harry had embraced dark magic and become “evil” so to speak. He spent 7 books fighting off the scariest dark wizard of all time just to turn into him.

30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

Image source: oridol, Warner Bros. Pictures

#8

Harry waking up in the cupboard

30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

Image source: mmahv, Warner Bros. Pictures

#9

Harry loses his mind at the last minute and rides on a dragon, destroying Hogwarts and killing indiscriminately.

After dueling Lupin for her love, Voldemort goes to Bellatrix in the Hogwarts basement. He takes her in his arms, says he loves her and that he never really cared about immortality anyways. They are then both killed by the castle collapsing in on them.

McGonagall, the obvious choice for headmaster, decides to instead go on a self imposed exile to America.

Ron and Hermione go their own separate ways, never to see each other again.

Finally, Dean Thomas is the one who truly saves the day at the end and restores order. Because who has a better story than Dean Thomas?

30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

Image source: KVirello, Warner Bros. Pictures

#10

Dumbledore coming back to kill Voldemort revealing there are good versions of horcruxes that you can get with self sacrifice and then revealing Harry’s parents did the same and came back.

30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

Image source: Bingodan22, Warner Bros. Pictures

#11

Harry realizes that the best way to defeat Voldemort is by showing him, and making him feel, *love*. And so at the climax of the battle, Harry drops his wand and embraces Voldemort and says “Tom, I forgive you.” Voldemort falls to his knees suddenly feeling the weight of remorse and regret. His dark magic flies out of him and we’re left with a restored Tom Riddle. To atone for his evil, he becomes headmaster of Hogwarts and works alongside Harry (the minister of magic) to restore balance in the wizarding world.

30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

Image source: Jwalla83, Warner Bros. Pictures

#12

Voldemort: “Harry, I am your father. You have your mother’s eyes.”

30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

Image source: lushoxd, Warner Bros. Pictures

#13

A cringey epilogue where the kids are all grown up and married to each other and they are dropping their kids off at the train, and loudly announcing their kids names so we know that they named their kids after their teachers.

Image source: GrizzlyIsland22

#14

Voldemort kills Harry in the forest and the book ends. Just take out Kings Cross and everything after

30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

Image source: ZGT-17, Warner Bros. Pictures

#15

The final book is published by EA games.

Each ending to a characters story is blacked out and requires you to buy the DLC.

30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

Image source: MeanBlackberry1566, Matthew Bloomfield

#16

Creating a sequel where Voldemort has an heir who tries to go back in time and stop Voldemort from attacking Harry’s parents

Oh wait

30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

Image source: BiteMyBaconBits, Warner Bros. Pictures

#17

Pulling a George R.R. Martin and just not giving us an ending, then letting some smuchs come along an write an ending for you ruining a good series for everyone.

30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

Image source: PicklesrnoturFriend, Warner Bros. Pictures

#18

Umbridge being elected as the Ministry for Magic because she seems the most capable to deal with the aftermath of the war. Then Harry receives a fine from the Ministry for public disturbance and vandalizing a historical building.

30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

Image source: anon, Warner Bros. Pictures

#19

Harry and Voldemort start inexplicably flying around the castle wrestling. They finally crash down in an abandoned courtyard and square off. They say nothing to each other before the final dual. Voldemort casts AK, while Harry casts expelliarmus. The spells connect causing the AK to slowly rebound on Voldemort. Then for absolutely no reason whatsoever, Voldemort just evaporates into smoke.

I would be super pissed if that had been the ending.

30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

Image source: baconfanboy2, Warner Bros. Pictures

#20

“At that point Voldemort had Harry defeated, disarmed his wand, with his foot on Harry’s neck”

“All this effort, Harry. All this wasted effort, only to die in the end.” Voldemort coldy stated

“My effort wasn’t for nothing, I fought for something bigger than myself” Harry struggled to say with Voldemort further digging his foot into Harry’s neck.

“Even now with Death inevitable you chose to act heroic. I will enjoy killing you and your friends Harry. Like your mudblood mother and no good Father.” Voldemort then forced Ron and Hermoine forward to kneel next to Harry

“Lucius and Bellatrix, my two faithful servants. I award you both in killing these traitors. Lucius please kill Ron Weasley while Bellatrix handle the girl.”

“With pleasure my Lord” Malfoy coldly uttered

“In unison all 3 screamed *AVADA KEDAVRA*”

Motionless, our golden trio ended their fight where it began. With each other.

30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

Image source: tookittothelimit, Warner Bros. Pictures

#21

Harry finds out Voldemort was the good guy all along. Dumbledore comes back from the dead with literally no explanation whatsoever and shoots Harry with a gun.

30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

Image source: mitchsix, Warner Bros. Pictures

#22

Ron dying as the result of a coldly calculated decision to sacrifice himself so Harry can defeat Voldemort would have been a beautiful parallel to the chess game in book 1

30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

Image source: chlorinecrown, Warner Bros. Pictures

#23

Harry woke up to stomping up and down the stairs. Dudley must be awake. Harry pulled on his glasses and looked at his companion with the missing toe, “I think I figured out how to end my books.”

The graying, patchy haired rat nibbled at an itch on its leg.

“The three friends, all married with kids, meet once again on that magical platform.”

Harry swung his legs off his tiny bed and prepared to go to his shift at Nando’s. An unremarkable boy, with an unremarkable life.

Image source: porkkabob

#24

If anyone at all who died came back, it would have made the books meaningless. I was afraid of a whole mass resurrection thing at the end of book seven; thankfully that didn’t happen.

30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

Image source: livebonk, Warner Bros. Pictures

#25

Imagine this plot twist: Snape is Harry’s father

Image source: Randroth_Kisaragi

#26

Snape actually being a bad guy instead a grey area double agent. I think the reveal from Snapes memories is one of the hardest hits in the entire series.

30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

Image source: Equal-Lobster9308, Warner Bros. Pictures

#27

If she did a GRRM and just… didn’t finish them

30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

Image source: lostuser124, ajay_suresh

#28

Can you imagine they turned Voldemort good at the end and he’s in the 19 years later bit dropping his kids off at the train

Image source: Vexingwings0052

#29

If the ending was more cliched so to speak. Like a perfect happily ever after: Dumbledore comes back, Sirius didn’t actually die, Draco is actually super nice, etc. it’s just immature writing imo (I used to write like that when I was in middle school). Books have to have some stakes and having tragedies in this series make sense more than anything.

30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

Image source: libra-luxe, Warner Bros. Pictures

#30

Harry choosing to get on the train when Dumbledore made the offer, essentially choosing to die rather than to live.

Hermione and Draco realising they are incredibly in love and want to be together forever.

Ron being killed in a stupid and/or pointless way. I could accept him dying in a way where he saved lives, doing something really brave, but it would have pissed me off a lot if he died by some other means, or some reasonably pointless death.

It was all a dream. Harry defeats Voldemort and the final line is “and then Harry woke up in his cupboard, a tear running down his cheek as he realised Ron, Hermione and Ginny never existed”

Any of those events would have angered me a great deal.

30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write

Image source: ykickamoocow111, Warner Bros. Pictures