Fan made trailers are definitely entertaining since they take into account the very real entertainment that the movies they choose to mash together bring to people, but kind of ignore the practicality of it since let’s be real here, Hellraiser would tear Indiana Jones up eight ways from Sunday and twice as bad on Tuesday. No, that didn’t mean but it sounded better in my head. Anyway, the Cenobites aren’t like the Nazis or any other enemy that Indy has taken on in his long career, as they’re creatures straight from another world that are as demented as they are vicious and are bent on destroying whatever they touch. Pinhead is obviously the worst of them since he’s the mastermind that is always ready to play a game with people and watch as they squirm and writhe while he relishes in their pain. How such a character as this was ever devised is hard to imagine but there’s been no doubt throughout the years that he’s one of the scariest individuals to ever come across the movie screen and sadly one of the most under-utilized since as far as being terrifying his game is on lock, but when it comes to being revered among horror monsters he’s still something of a quandary to some people who haven’t heard enough about him.
Everyone knows about Indiana Jones, or has at least heard of him in one reference or another since he’s been a pop culture icon for so long that not knowing about him means that you don’t watch a lot of movies or are too young to really know who he is. Putting these two together in a movie however would be kind of hard to accept since every person that Pinhead has stood against is obviously human, but they’ve also been driven to find ways to survive that aren’t always entirely sane or they’ve been forced to figure out the infamous puzzle box that brings Pinhead and his Cenobites out for a rowdy time. The allure of the puzzle box is definitely something that Indy couldn’t possibly turn down since as an archaeologist finding something like this would be too tempting for him to just walk away from. But one would almost hope that there would be some literature on it that had survived throughout the years, especially if he found out about it and went looking for the artifact. But upon manipulating it, in fact even upon obtaining it, one would almost think that the dread feeling in the pit of a person’s stomach would inform them that something wasn’t right about the ornate box, and that maybe it should just be left alone. Yeah right, Indy would still take it and perhaps tread with caution.
But upon unleashing Pinhead and his people it’s likely that Indy would have to rely on that infamous luck of his to make it through the movie more or less in one piece, while those around him were being shredded or otherwise mutilated just for being in the wrong spot and not running like hell when they had the chance. One thing about the Hellraiser series is that Pinhead was never that picky about who he converted into one of his kind since anyone that happened to be in the vicinity had the chance of being converted into one of his brood, and there have been some seriously messed-up characters that have been created throughout the Hellraiser series, not the least of which was the guy that could fling CD’s like razor blades in one movie. Unless Dr. Jones keeps moving I see this kind of a movie being kind of a short one that would have to fall back on the generational angle that Bloodlines did since Mutt might be able to do something with the box and therefore save himself and others by closing it finally. Of course, this is Mutt we’re talking about, so he might try to fight Pinhead and his minions instead and end up suffering for choosing so poorly. The overall feeling of this mashup is that someone had some free time and a lot of wandering thoughts that they finally pieced into one coherent string that might not make sense to some people but made sense in the moment, hence the trailer.
Don’t knock it, sometimes the craziest ideas turn out to be the most interesting since they might appear a little nonsensical, but now and again they’re actually kind of fun to watch since they get the mind spinning when it comes to thinking about the various possibilities that might occur when certain pop culture icons are thrust together in ways that you might not have expected. Christopher Fiduccia of Screenrant has more to say on this matter. So yes, I think Indy would be lucky to survive, but he would live all the same. Everyone else, meh, they might have a small chance.
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