This is a true tale of a dedicated American Idol fan returning to the series after jumping ship many seasons ago. I was part of the craze before it was even a craze. Being a reality TV junkie, American Idol was exactly my cup of tea when it premiered back in the dark ages of 2002. I watched faithfully season after season, and eventually I just lost the connection I once felt. I would still tune in once in a while just to see what was going on, but it was kind of like hanging out with an old friend who I’d grown apart from. I have decided that for season 14, I am going to watch and stick with it. Not only because I am a legally tone-deaf failed showchoir singer, but because I have been given the opportunity to write about the show. Am I, musically speaking, qualified to critique? Of course not–I’m a random nobody deep in the heart of Kansas who prefers Bieber to the Beatles. Will that stop me from sharing my thoughts? Of course not… so that being said, let the games begin.
Our first round of auditions finds us in Music City, hometown of 22 years to judge Keith Urban. The episode begins with a tease that reveals the top 24. It’s not much of a tease, because thanks to shadows and television trickery, we don’t get to see actual faces. Also, this clip was online a couple weeks ago, so it wasn’t that exciting of a reveal for me. SPOILER ALERT: I do not make the top 24. I’m not sure if the opening intro is new, due to my lack of dedication, but it’s new to me. My first thoughts upon seeing the judges are sidelined because I am distracted by J.Lo’s gum chewing and her blue fingernails. Also, how did she manage to stick that landing? Jumping out of the truck in six inch heels? I seem to remember when she couldn’t do that in tennis shoes at an awards show a few years ago. I am happy to see Jenny from the Block again, because I think she’s a breath of fresh air compared to Paula Abdul.
First up is Riley Bria, a 17 year old who seems to answer the question “Where has Macaulay Culkin been?” He impresses all three and is given the golden ticket to Hollywood. (Have the judges always been the ones to hand the contestants the tickets? My memory is faded.) Next up we meet Priscilla Barker, 19, who is the youngest of ten kids. Jennifer says no, but Keith and Harry give her the thumbs up, so she’s golden. Time for a hometown shout-out for this guy. (I’m this guy, FYI.) Cameron Bedell, 25, from Wichita! I say this with excitement, because I know Cameron and am friends with his wife, Anna. He represented all of us here back home nicely. It’s an enthusiastic yes from all three judges. Hollywizzle, here comes Cameron!
I love when Idol hopefuls are interviewed without a clue as to what seems to be going on around them. I’ve been away from the show for a minute, but even I know Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey are no longer part of the panel. I enjoyed the girl waiting to audition who thought otherwise.
Is the Old Navy dressing room the contestants wait in before entering a new touch to the show? Next we meet Amber Kelechi Walker, a 15 year old from the wrong side of Memphis. She has been raised in a hardened world where music saved her and gave her hope. Her story gives me hope–I enjoyed her. It’s a no from Harry, but Jennifer and Keith give her a chance to better her life. I also just noticed there was piano accompaniment while she sang? When did they start allowing this? I have failed the Idol.
I don’t want to be someone who reviews the show with a hateful tone or to make fun of anyone, but I was really confused by the next contestant. I had thoughts of Carrot Top while Kyle Blaine Corman auditioned (the hair, people) and then I was reminded of April Tuna from the short-lived ahead-of-its-time WB show Popular. He doesn’t advance, but provides a nice shout-out to the Staten Island music scene.
Next we have our first “goosies” for J.Lo of the season, thanks to barista Kory Wheeler, 26. He serves up a hot audition and it’s thumbs up all around. I’m not sure what Ryan Seacrest just did with that table jump there, but maybe he has some track star lost dreams he’s dealing with.
Michael Simeon, 20, enters next. He seems to be a good ol’ farm boy who wins the judges over with his voice and charm. He even gets a slow-dance out of Jennifer, while the guys provide the music. Is this charming, or a shameless plug for J.Lo’s new movie, The Boy Next Door? He reminds me a little of Hunter Hayes, but I think I like him more.
Our final contestant of the night is Emily Brooke, a sweet 15 year old who I like to think of as “Jewel Light.” She tackles a Carrie Underwood song (brave girl), and the judges are blown away. Did she get a ticket to Hollywood? You tell me. I have to go write an email to Dish Network and complain about the final minutes of my American Idol recording being cut off on my DVR. And just like that, my return to Idol is official. Until next time!
[Photo via FOX]
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