Australian comedian Jim Jefferies once did a bit about airplane etiquette. His premise revolves around armrests, a much-coveted piece of real estate, and how passengers should respect each other’s spaces.
While it was, of course, done in jest, his comedy routine tackles the basic concepts of human decency and common sense. However, many people lack these traits, and these stories you’re about to read just prove that.
If disruptive plane passengers are your pet peeve and you have encountered them yourself, feel free to share your experiences in the comments below.
We also had a brief chat with Philippine Airlines flight attendant Kaz Icalina, who answered our questions about airplane etiquette.
#1
I’m very tall, and the guy in front reclined his seat in to my knees which prevented him to recline all the way. This upset him dearly, so much so that he tried it a couple of times again.
I told him, politely, he was hurting my knees and he got somewhat aggressive. Long story short (ha!) he called the flight attendant over and I got my first and only upgrade ever in my life.
Image source: Snoooort, w00t89/reddit
#2
Worst seat mate was a small fat guy in the window seat who put his carry on in my footwell. I picked it up and handed it to him. He grinned … took it and put it back in front of me. I.picked it up and plonked it on.his knee. He sighed loudly and went to put it in my space a third time. He obviously didn’t realise that aisle seat guy is my husband who leaned over and said….”if you put your s**t in my wife’s space one more time your bag will leave the plane with us. If you so much as open your mouth to complain I will punch your tongue down your throat”
We had a very quiet flight after that.
Image source: Jigglypuffs_quiff, velamela/reddit
#3
I try to have grace here, but it’s hard. PHL to LHR economy and had an adult with special needs in the window seat, I was middle, my husband was aisle. The parents were in business and only came back once to check on their daughter. She was pulling food off my tray, touching and hitting my screen (turned off movies), touching me and waking me up when she was nervous. It was awful and zero sleep. I know it’s so hard and parents deserve a break but how can you put that on someone else?
Image source: Slkreger, Vignesh Moorthy/unsplash
#4
In the middle seat in a Korean air flight. Guy next to me at the aisle was pretty rude, I asked him to move to let me out to the toilet and he kinda just slid his legs to the side and made me squeeze out past him. He was eating peanuts and farting constantly. And I mean constantly. Each time, the last one hadn’t cleared by the time he let rip again. The fumes were building up. So I held my own farts in until it was knocking loud at the back door (they seem to build up quickly on a plane) and after a while asked him to let me out again. As I expected, he did the same again and motioned for me to squeeze past him. As I did, I made sure to drop the fart I’d been holding right in his face. And it was a noisy boy alright. I didn’t stick around for the smell, but when I came back, he stood up to let me back in.
Image source: Affectionate_Base827, TheHankyTanky/reddit
#5
30 minutes into a 12 hours flight. I was pregnant, extra sensitive to smells. Dude starts VAPING under his hoodie. Genuinely shocked, I said, “sorry are you vaping?!” Dude ignores me and turns away. 5 minutes later, he does it again. Nope. Immediately press the flight attendant button, he starts in with “Oh come on. It’s not a big deal. I won’t do it again.” He was led away. Not sure what happened to him afterward, but at least I didn’t have his s****y, fruity vape steam in my face for the remaining 11.5 hours.
Image source: brinewitch, Getty Images/unsplash
#6
Years ago flying from NYC to Dublin alone, the flight attendants decided, since I (F26) had two empty seats beside me, that I would be the perfect babysitter for a little boy flying as an unaccompanied minor. He was maybe 5 years old(?) This was in the ’80’s so not sure what the age cut off was then but he was really young.
I would rather have been seated beside a monkey or a boa constrictor. He was all over me needing comfort and constant attention. I felt bad for him and being a parent now, can’t imagine shipping my child that age across the ocean by himself.
Image source: harperfin, minho jeong/unsplash
#7
I (female) was flying solo from Paris to the US, I was about 20. I had just gotten my first upgrade to premium economy and I was soooooo excited!
I had the window and my seatmate was a man in his mid thirties or 40s; he was wearing a religious garment and we exchanged pleasantries. I woke up from a nap and his hand was resting on my knee, but more on the inside of my thigh than not. He was awake. When he saw that I was awake, he quickly removed it.
So many things I wish I would have said or done but instead I just sat there in total silence for the rest of the flight.
Image source: wannabejetsetter, Hrant Khachatryan/unsplash
#8
Snuck his own booze on board, drank until he blacked out, fell on top of me and vomited in my lap while pi**ing himself.
Image source: crackanape, Tahir osman/unsplash
#9
I had the window seat. A woman weighing well over 400 lbs took the middle seat. Flight attendant told her she couldn’t use her own seatbelt extender and had to use the one supplied by the airline.
She tried to keep her knees together so she was only mildly spilling out of her allotted seat area. But by the time the pilot was cleared for takeoff she no longer had the stamina to hold herself together. I can only describe the experience as the equivalent of cutting the rope from a bound Christmas tree. I was pinned against the plane from a thigh, b**b, shoulder b**b, and arm b**b.
When the seatbelt light went off, a flight attendant rushed over to assist by moving me to a vacant seat. But the woman couldn’t even stand up to let me out so I had to shimmy past in a way that left both of us searching for our dignity.
Image source: NeroBoBero, Cathal Mac an Bheatha /unsplash
#10
Full flight, 2 hours. I’m a woman (60s, small, no makeup, comfortable clothing), in the middle seat. Window guy is young with wide shoulders, headphones (considerate; he didn’t even take the armrest). Aisle guy, though. Dang. Big guy (tall and large, even wider shoulders than window seat), also 60s (and newly divorced, I learn later). Can’t not take the armrest unless he’s leaning into the aisle. OK, I can deal with that. I brought a book, but Aisle wants to talk. Normally I am good with that (I spent 13 years doing psychiatric interviews, I am interested in people and can talk with anyone). However, this guy was intensely sexual. Lots of questions about me (no), wanted to tell me about his kinks (no), asked for naughty pictures (no) and had an erection (which admittedly, he tried to hide) for almost the entire flight. I kind of felt sorry for him. He was polite, at least, and didn’t press when I said no to various conversational topics. Again, full flight, seat change likely impossible. And better me than some young woman. One of the weirder flights I’ve ever been on.
Image source: Dang_It_All_to_Heck, LOGAN WEAVER | @LGNWVR/unsplash
#11
Chicago to Barcelona. I take the window seat because I like to sleep, my husband has the aisle because he’s up and down so much on long flights that it’s insane. Sometimes we don’t have anyone in the middle seat, but usually there is and prior to this flight, we’d never had a problem.
This woman was one of the last people boarded. She was too large for the seat by half. She had more miscellaneous pieces of carry-on than I’ve ever seen…strung about her person like a deranged long-distance hiker. She plopped down and promptly raised both armrests flowing into our seats while methodically divesting herself of all her bits and pieces. She then got into it with the flight attendant who wanted the tray table up and the armrests down while I silently prayed she’d do something to get removed from the plane.
No luck. We took off and for the next 7 hours dealt with her being in both our seats, nonstop fidgeting, more arguments with the FA, her sweat staining our clothes and demands to use our tray tables since we weren’t. When we landed, she expected my husband to get her bag out of the overhead and got pissy when he wouldn’t (he didn’t get ours out either, he’d had heart surgery only four months previously) and gave us dirty looks the entire way off the plane and through customs. Thankfully we had a driver meeting us so we didn’t have to run into her again at a ground transport queue.
Worst flight I’ve ever had (and there’ve been some doozies) and all because one person had the social skills of a honey badger.
Image source: protogens, Aperson3334/reddit
#12
Woman changed her infant’s diaper on the tray table (to be fair it was extremely turbulent for hours and she could not get up).
Before she could close the diaper, plane hit a big bump. She was able to prevent infant from flying off but the dirtied diaper floated in front of my face and then landed face down directly in my lap.
Image source: anon, Olivie Strauss/unsplash
#13
It was Singapore Airlines from Singapore to Paris. On these planes there are two decks and on the upper deck (economy) the seat configuration is 2, 4, 2.
I chose an aisle seat on one of the 2s. After I boarded and found my seat, a French girl came and sat on the window seat beside me. Before the plane takes off, she makes a call to, I presume, her boyfriend, and starts b****ing in French about how there’s a thing sitting next to her on the plane and therefore she won’t be able to have space to sleep throughout the 13 hour flight, and the boyfriend must have asked her if the person next to her was French, because she replied, “No, it’s an Asian thing.”
When she ended the call, I promptly told her that I understood every word she said (since I study in France) and I requested to the air steward for a change of seats, and thankfully there was one. The look on her face was priceless.
Edit: Some of you have defended the French people by saying that not everyone is like this girl. I definitely agree, I do know many many pleasant French people. But it’s unfortunate how some people portray themselves.
And thank you to everyone who upvoted! I certainly didn’t expect this many upvotes ;) Cheers to pleasant flying to everyone.
Image source: Jasper Goh, Getty Images/unsplash
#14
**Flight from Philadelphia to Phoenix, woman ends up without her pants on:**
A woman next to me (she’s in the middle seat, I’m aisle) somehow produced the equivalent of at least 2 kitchen size trash cans worth of trash. Every 5-10 minutes she would flag down the attendant and hand her a massive handful of trash. I have absolutely no idea where it was coming from.
She ordered a hot coffee, and within 5 minutes spilled it all over herself. This led to a full on freakout as it was hot. She jumps up onto her seat and is flailing. She pulls her pants off right there and eventually gets her backup pair on.
These were the two most notable things that occurred. Overall she was a pretty feral human who probably shouldn’t have gotten on a plane.
Image source: soil_nerd, Getty Images/unsplash
#15
Had a d**g a****t behind me who went nuts when I reclined my seat even slightly on a red eye. She started with pushing her feet on the headrest and shoving my seat forward til it was actually pushed over straight. She was doing d***s in the bathroom and mad cause her seat did not recline so therefore no one should recline. She attacked her seat mate when he complained after she got up for the 20th time in the first two hours Her seat mate had to be moved and she was zip tied to her chair which sadly did not stop her kicking my and my husbands chair for the remainder if the flight. She was met with police at the other end and I happily agreed to press charges as she was spitting at the FAs. Absolute nut case.
Image source: my4floofs, Curated Lifestyle/unsplash
#16
Doha to Chicago, got to my window seat, couple had taken it and the middle. I told them I had the window, they told me to sit in the aisle. I said no. They scooted over and motioned for me to climb over them. I said no.
I only got up twice during the flight. Each time, the same interaction. They wanted me to climb over them, it was too tight. I said no.
They were barefooted the entire 15 hour flight and would walk to the bathroom with their bare feet.
I just tried to sleep the whole flight, but they were incredibly rude.
Image source: teacher_anony, UnderCoverSquid/unsplash
#17
Pretty sure it was me once after I got on part 2 of a long haul flight having apparently contracted food poisoning during an airport delay the night before. Something like an 8 or 10 hour flight, I was in the middle of the middle part of the plane. Had to go to the bathroom approximately every 5 1/2 minutes. Bless the poor woman sitting on the aisle who was going to visit her son on the east coast. She swapped with me. Thank you again.
Image source: wirebound1, A. C./unsplash
#18
-On a 6 hour flight a man who sat in the middle seat was using both armrests (which is fine) but he also had his legs spread out so far they were under the seats in front of aisle/window. I asked him to please move his feet, and he told me in the most condescending voice that I “must never fly” and he “needed to explain how it works for the person in the middle seat”. The person in the aisle was a tiny young girl and she said he was okay to put his feet under her seat (she was so small she could like, ball up in the seat) so he told me I was unreasonable. He wasn’t even a large man, it took effort for him to take up as much space as he was.
-I was flying Southwest which means open seating. My grandmother had just fallen and was in ICU. They said she didn’t have much time left. I got on the plane and sat in the middle seat on the front row. The man and woman in window/aisle were husband and wife and complained to each other (over me) about how the flight wasn’t full and there were seats in the back and there’s no reason for “people” to sit in between them. It went on for like 30 minutes until I finally snapped and said my grandmother is dying I just want to get off this plane as soon as possible! The wife just said “oh” and they were silent the rest of the flight.
Image source: SunshineMurphy, pro-bum/reddit
#19
On a flight from Rome to Chicago a couple in their 40s in the seat in front of me made out the entire flight, including him licking her forehead on numerous occasions.
Resolution: nobody said anything.
Image source: apmcpm, Tomas Horak/unsplash
#20
I was in a seat between a parent and a 5 year old. Parent kept passing a laptop over to the child, then bringing it back to change the shows and games, every few minutes, in front of my face.
The family owned cats. How could I tell? Their coats reeked of cat urine and were covered in fur.
Image source: Uvabird, Emily Wade/unsplash
#21
On a flight from Cairo to Toronto. I was sitting at the back of the plane where it narrows and so it goes from 3-3-3 to 2-3-3. I was in the aisle on the outside 2. The man sitting in the middle was a large man.
Throughout the flight i had my headphones and eye mask on trying to get some sleep. He would keep poking me in the rib and when i would take the eye mask off he would just look away.
Every 15 or so minutes i would feel him adjust in his seat and there would be a rumble followed by a godawful smell.
About half way into the flight he moved his leg so it was touching mine, I moved mine and his followed and then he started to move his leg up and down like it was rubbing my leg.
I finally just took my mask off because sleep was not happening. He quickly moved his leg back to his side of the seat.
But he continued to fart the rest of the flight. And each time I could see him in my peripheral vision looking right at me as he angled his a*s toward me and let them rip.
Also, the airline staff wouldn’t give me water when I asked for it because “I will have to go all the way to the back of the plane, you will have to wait.” But I was at the back of the plane.
Anyway, that was my fun experience.
Image source: giraffebaconequation, Andrej Lišakov/unsplash
#22
Worst was this past week. Taipei to Seattle, me in the middle seat. Had an older lady on the aisle, clearly very unwell wearing a full winter coat/scarf/mask. Coughing so hard she was flying off the seat, sounded like she had TB and needed to be quarantined. She was not small, and took no consideration to her arm/elbow being on my stomach the entire flight. Every time I elbowed her back, I swear she just moved on to me more. She never stopped moving or coughing, every time I fell asleep she’d be touching me and coughing. Disgusting wet tissue fell onto me at this point. All 10 hours. When the flight was over, she decided that the 2 people next to her didn’t need to get up and make their connecting flights, and just say and waved everyone by. Didn’t occur to her to think of us until I said “actually I’d love to get the f**k off this plane right now.” And she huffed and puffed and got up.
I dont care what anyone says, you have no business traveling in that condition.
Image source: lageueledebois, Levi Meir Clancy/unsplash
#23
Getting stuck in the middle between a married couple who had bought the aisle and window, and who then spent the entire flight talking and passing things across me as though I wasn’t there.
Image source: quothe_the_maven, Chris Brignola/unsplash
#24
This happened more than a decade ago.
I was in window seat, and the lady behind me just casually placed her left bare foot on the rearend of my armrest. Like if I place my arm in the armrest, I wouldnt be able to coz her foot was there. She also badly needed a pedicure.
So I took a photo, and called the flight attendant to deal with her. Took a photo just in case she denies it. She eventually took her foot down.
Image source: Then_Ad2703, kiwifeliz/reddit
#25
The woman across the aisle from me who was visibly drunk, swore at the flight attendant when asked if she had been drinking, and then delayed our flight by an hour because we had to wait for someone to come escort her off the plane.
She was with her whole family, and I felt terrible for her kids, who had to walk past everyone on their way off the plane with their mom. I’m sure that will be seared in their memory forever.
Image source: _CPR__, Getty Images/unsplash
#26
I was flying back for my grandmother’s funeral. It was a smaller plane, and my husband had paid extra for me to sit in “first class”, which was basically just the front row of this small plane. My seatmate was a woman about ten years older than me that was high on something. She kept asking to use the bathroom once we had just taken off and the flight attendant kept telling her to remain seated. She was in the window seat and kept leaning over my lap to talk to the flight attendant in the jumpseat. She got up anyway, falling on me in the process. She then came back and elbowed me in the face getting to her seat. The whole flight was spent with her leaning over me trying to have a conversation with the flight attendant, who was extremely annoyed. She was also twitchy and kept bumping me the whole flight. I was grieving and basically in shock so I didn’t say anything.
Another time I sat next to a very, very large woman on a small plane that had two seats. I was in the window and when she walked up she said “oh good, I am glad I am sitting next to someone small” and proceeded to lift the armrest and mash me against the window. She was taking at least half my seat. She was pressed against me from shoulder to hip. I was fairly young at the time and not confident about speaking up but that was a miserable four hours. I couldn’t move at all.
Image source: Adorable-Tree-5656, dogbraincatscan/reddit
#27
I sat next to a man who was in his mid 30’s who was plucking his back hair and……. eating it. Yes. At first I thought I must be mistaken, but sadly, no. It was clearly some weird obsession. I tried coughing & stretching trying to snap him out of it, but it didn’t work. I finally got up and asked the flight attendants if there was another seat I could have as I couldn’t take it any longer. They both did a pass to see if it could possibly be true, sadly it was. We were dying. It was a first for them as well. I was at least able to give them yet another delightful tale to tell.
Image source: HappyKat2000, Andrej Lišakov/unsplash
#28
I was like 12 and the guy next to me was a middle-aged man who’s been terrorizing me the whole flight by saying out loud how he fears that the plane will crash, praying (or more like begging God to let him live) and crossing himself every other minute in between. Also, had like 4 shots of heavy alcohol during the flight. The flight was at like 4 am and he didn’t let me sleep the whole flight, also scaring the s**t out of me.
Image source: cava-lier, Getty Images/unsplash
#29
I always buy an aisle seat. When I got to my seat, there was a giant German Shepherd sitting on both the middle and aisle seats. I have no clue why the owner thought it was okay for them to sit at the window seat, forcing their giant dog to sit next to another passenger. I would have complained, but luckily, a flight attendant came and offered me a first-class seat. People that bring their dogs on planes are weirdos.
Image source: groshreez, Puppybrother/reddit
#30
Flight from Paris to San Francisco middle row, an enormous rude lady who was so large she spilled into my seat (over, under the armrest, more than half of my leg area … the armrest was completely hidden by her fat and her leg took so much space in the aisle that the cart had trouble going through). She did not get up once. Thankfully the kind couple on the other side of me gave me a bit of their space and got up often so I just went their way.
Flight from Paris to Mauritius. Man with a body odour so terrible I wondered if he had just come out of the Kraken’s sphincter.
Flight from Rome to Paris. A child so evil (and old enough to know better) the parents were threatened with being taken off the plane. Child kicked (so hard i had a sore back) and screamed bloody m****r entire flight. Parents were told off by the crew and it looked like they were being asked not to fly on their airline again.
All of these times the plane was packed so not possible to move.
Image source: littletreebat, helmortart/reddit
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