There’s no such thing as the ‘perfect’ workplace, but that’s no reason not to try and make it one. No matter how you swing things, the bosses and managers are at the core of each and every organization. And every little thing that they do affects everyone else, like ripples in a corporate pond.
So when your boss is an energetic, supportive, empowering leader, everything will go swimmingly. However, far from everyone is lucky to have one of these, as some women have been sharing on Reddit.
Prompted by user BayAreaDreamer on the r/AskWomen subreddit, they have been opening up about the most insulting things their bosses have said to them and… it’s horrible. There’s no other way to put it—there’s no place for such language and such views in modern society. Have a read for yourselves, dear Pandas.
#1
I’m a firefighter. I’m also a woman. A few years ago I had one of my officers tell me “you should really consider a different career… women’s bodies are just not designed to withstand this job.”
He ended up having to retire early last year due to a shoulder injury.
Image source: FreyaPM, Pixabay
#2
My old boss told me multiple times that I’m lucky he’s married, because he wouldn’t be able to control himself if he wasn’t.
He would also tell me that I would make an amazing personal assistant/Secretary (I’m a systems analyst) for my looks alone. When I told him this was innapropriate he’d ask why I’m being hormonal.
I was on the verge of filing a sexual harassment complaint when he quit.
Image source: Pandaland27, cottonbro
#3
My girlfriend had a miscarriage last year at 6 months, she stayed at home after that for two weeks because she wasn’t feeling good. When she came back her boss told her to man up a little, that it isn’t a reason to stay at home…
Image source: pablo_284, August de Richelieu
#4
“You need to stop referring to your wife. It’s making people uncomfortable.” This was in response to after asking how my weekend was and I said “my wife and I went to visit family in Minnesota.”
Image source: jlhrx , cottonbro
#5
I was sitting at a table in the dining area and all but one person at that table were women. It’s the first time I’d ever had the opportunity to sit at a table full of women and I was very excited to not be a token for once.
Boss walked by, shaking his head, “bunch of clucking hens”
Every single day for years I’d said nothing about being the only woman or being in a very small minority. Eating all my meals every day with all men, the lounge was full of men, everywhere you went it was groups of men.
Then women had the audacity to sit in close proximity and without even knowing what we were discussing, we were immediately written off?
Screw that guy.
Image source: guttertrash_fire
#6
I used to work as a barista and my boss literally said to me, “no wonder you get more tips, you’ve got the body for it” and then looked at my boobs. I felt really gross the rest of the day. It made me super self-conscious about the t-shirts I wear.
Image source: UniversalCrown, Mariah Solomon (not the actual photo)
#7
I had dental work done when I was pregnant. I came to work with a numb and drooling mouth. My boss pulled me aside and whispered to me “isn’t a shame how semen rots your teeth?” I was a 29/f at the time, he was a male in his 60s. So glad to no longer be working for this idiot.
Image source: clarka38
#8
When he was letting people go home early, my boss comes up to me and said “You’ve been a good girl. You can go.”
I was a grown ass woman in my thirties.
Image source: BlueBubbleGame
#9
I once had the boss of my boss tell me, in front of most of my colleagues, to bring a cup of water to the partners into his office, because “the hottest woman of the office is out, and you’re second on that list”.
The water fountain was literally on his way from his office to my desk. Also, I am an IT specialist, and the entire firm was reliant on the job I (and the few other IT consultants of the firm) was doing. “Hottest woman” was the secretary, who was sleeping with a higher up, barely worked an hour or two a day, and made more than I did.
Image source: exyxnx, Campaign Creators
#10
My boss at the comic book store knew I was anorexic and in recovery, which is why I ate little snacks constantly. He told me there was an alternate universe version of me who never ate but was enormously fat because of all my snacking and she didn’t know why she kept getting bigger, that by eating I was torturing her.
Probably that
Image source: ameliabedelia7
#11
I asked for a raise, and my boss told me I didn’t need one because my boyfriend made enough for the two of us.
Image source: indyaj
#12
Job 1: After asking for help for 3 months, working 60-80 hour weeks. “I don’t care if you have to stay up all night to do your job. Get it done”
Job 2: women aren’t allowed on the company trip because there’s alcohol involved and we want to keep them safe.
Also Job 2: A manager comes to my office yelling at me cause I looked at him wrong and questioned his response to something. I’m not letting someone talk to me that way, he wouldn’t leave when asked, so I raised my voice and responded to his comments. I’m the one who got in trouble for yelling at a man. They also made him my manager after that.
I wasn’t there very long after these incidents.
Image source: pingumom, Mimi Thian
#13
‘You work well for a woman’.
Image source: Pops939
#14
“If I’d known you had tattoos, I probably wouldn’t have hired you”
Image source: she-huulk, Roger Reuver (not the actual photo)
#15
Had a female supervisor tell me that dressing slutty was distracting to my coworkers and I needed to cover up. I was wearing a plain womens v-neck tshirt, and khaki pants. I also only had one Male coworker, who worked on the opposite side of the building. She was just a salty old bi**h. I reported her for harrassment, she was transferred to another store, and then fired shortly after for the same behavior.
Image source: CocoXmechele
#16
My female coworker and I were prepping before the lunch shift at a restaurant. Male GM walks over and says, “You know, I had a dream about you two last night,” pauses, reconsidering something, “No, I probably shouldn’t tell you about it,” smiles to himself, and walks away. We were so appalled and disgusted we just stood there, too stunned to say anything.
Image source: reddit.com, Christina
#17
That a project I was managing was being moved to a Male colleague because it was more of a “mans project”.
Image source: charmanderr, cottonbro
#18
When I was 16 I worked at a fast food place on weekends. One day I was opening up the place and preparing food etc. and my manager (easily late 40s/late 50s) walked in with new staff and was giving them a tour.
As he walked in, I was on my knees trying to fix something and he introduced me as “a typical woman always on her knees”. At the time I was still practically a shy kid and was in complete and utter shock and never said anything to anybody because I didn’t want to cause any trouble or create problems for myself. But after I quit the job I heard that he actually got suspended a couple of times for inappropriate comments to other women. I wish so much that I had the confidence back then to report him!
Image source: AmayaSmith96
#19
“We’re excited to have you here. And not just because you’re a beautiful woman.” This happened last year. VP of my department. I’ve since left the company.
Image source: whydoesnobodyama, Sora Shimazaki
#20
“You have no idea how replaceable you are.”
Image source: joedrums8a
#21
My boss accused me of having an affair with another married coworker, then said, ‘Or if you haven’t yet, you will.’
Image source: Heidi1026
#22
‘You are great at your job, but you are not pretty enough to think that should get you anywhere.’
Image source: IrritatedAlpaca
#23
In 2004 or 5 a boss asked me if my partner and I had had sex the night before and what were are most frequently chosen sex positions. It was out of nowhere and in front of three other employees.
Other women had problems with him and complained about him to each other. I decided to talk to my line manager about this and all the other female employees denied he had ever said anything that made them uncomfortable or that they disliked it.
I was more disappointed in my coworkers letting me take the fall in truth. Though I understand their need to keep their jobs and not rock the boat.
Image source: middayfirework, energepic
#24
I had a female manager at a clothing store look at me at 19 and tell me that I was too smart for any boy to actually like me. I needed to dumb myself down or I would be alone forever.
Joke is on her because at 35 she is an ‘aspiring’ Instagram model with almost no followers and I am with an engineer who loves my quick wit. And thankfully I’m not in retail any more.
Image source: allicatmarie
#25
Requested paperwork to file a formal sexual harassment complaint against a coworker. Was asked by the restaurant owner who it was about, and when I told him he laughed and waved me off because this other person “was harmless”… Nevermind that he’d started following me to the restroom, out to my car…
Luckily he never actually got his hands on me. I quit. No money is worth my safety. And this creeper was apparently deported lol vindication! I’m sure the boss man is still there though.
Image source: StarryLindsay
#26
When I was working as a bakery manager for a gas station, my shift started at 4:30, so I had time to get breakfast ready. No one else was waiting for me to get there. I clocked in one morning at 4:35, and my boss said, “You know there are plenty of jobs you can get lying on your back”. I ended up clocking out and going home. I filed a complaint against him but was told it was a he said, she said situation and they couldn’t do anything about it.
Image source: chemchick27, Frederick Lang Jr. (not the actual photo)
#27
I was pulled in to his office and asked if I was pregnant. I told him, but I had in fact gained a bit of weight. Thanks for noticing, but I’m not pregnant. He then insisted, telling me it would be hard to find a replacement so I should tell him now. It then got out and I had coworkers teasing me about my food baby. That part I could laugh off, but I’m still insulted even I think back to that exchange with my manager.
Image source: Broodwich78
#28
Not towards me but he fired a coworker for taking “too many days off” to go to her boyfriend’s “birthday.” In reality her bf had to get a major operation done and it was only 2 days off – which she told him in advance and those 2 days also made up for her overtime hours.
Another time was when he told me he didn’t want to hire a candidate (which I and everyone else thought was a great fit) because she might be a “liability.” It was because she told us in the interview that she had to leave her previous job because of constant sexual harassment. That really opened my eyes to how gross of a person he is. I left that job shortly after.
Image source: d-vahkiin
#29
Oh boy I’ve got some good ones.
Most recently, however, was something that happened not to me, but to a co-worker. Her grandmother passed away after a long illness, and she went to the funeral a few days later. She came back to work for the evening shift the same day as the funeral, and the manager told her (in front of several other staff members) – “This is customer service darling. For gods sake, put a smile on, yeah?”
Image source: tamgui , Pixabay
#30
Back when I was interning for a PR company, one of my male supervisors told me to forward some contracts to a magazine we were working with. I did as I was told, only to be yelled at by my boss for doing it. He then calmed himself down and said ”women can’t think rationally anyway, I overreacted”. My supervisor pretended like he had nothing to do with it.
Image source: theycallmelulus, Mikhail Nilov
#31
During an interview with HR: “What do you intend to do to prove yourself? You know, since you are a woman”
Same guy, when I was planning a presentation and asked him for about 30 minutes of his teams bi-weekly meeting time: “you’re are good as a man, you could do it in 15!”
Image source: paaaw, Edmond Dantès
#32
That my maternity leave was a vacation, and this was a female boss who’s had children.
Image source: BigMommaSnikle
#33
I can’t decide.. Two days ago my boss told me that he didn’t like my shirt & it made me look pregnant. Yesterday he had a talk with me how I don’t have potential in life due to low motivation.
Image source: bnm520, cottonbro
#34
At a medical office where I worked they cut our vacation hours, and then gathered all the lowest-paid employees for a meeting with the owner. He explained how we all had to make sacrifices for the business, for example, his kids see that the neighbors all have pools in their backyards and are like “dad, why don’t we have a pool?” and so he understands the sacrifices we’re making by having our vacation hours cut (oh, and being asked to take over janitorial duties).
Image source: empressofdogs
#35
I was 8 months pregnant and I walked into the office and my boss said, “wow! I can’t tell if you’re coming or going.” Meaning I was so round all the way around. I just found it very offensive and insulting.
Another boss screamed at me, “you live in a vacuum!!!!”
Image source: LJ1205E, Jacob Bøtter (not the actual photo)
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