When it comes to what men find attractive in women, many assume it’s all about looks. While looks play a role in attraction, there are aspects unrelated to appearance that can make men feel truly drawn to someone.
We’ve skimmed over the usual suspects: self-confidence, a nice smile, and charming eyes. Instead, we dug into some of the most unexpected traits men are drawn to.
A few of our picks might genuinely surprise you.
#1 Taking Too Big a Bite and Trying To Chew
There’s a reason the “open a buffet” girl went viral: her genuine love of food on dates shows real, relatable enthusiasm, which many men find extremely attractive.
Men mention that seeing a woman confidently enjoy her meal, even when she takes a bite that’s a little too big and tries to chew it gracefully, feels authentic and charming.
It’s the ideal combination of confidence, subtlety, and unfiltered authenticity that is especially endearing.
As one Redditor shared, “I’ve always found it super cute when a girl is eating, and she takes too big of a bite and she does that thing where they bob their head back a bit and raise their hand to their mouth and half eat, half giggle.”
This moment stood out to him as genuinely charming and memorable, reinforcing the idea that these little genuine gestures can deeply attract men.
Image source: Svetlana Repnitskaya / Getty Images
#2 Less Is More With Outfits
We understand the effort that goes into creating striking looks and flawless makeup. However, men’s comments reveal that the humble, classic T-shirt-and-jeans ensemble often impresses them more than anything else.
One man shared that while women may view casual outfits as unpolished, men often find them more appealing because these looks emphasize natural features.
Some men don’t even care about the clothes; they’re just thrilled to see you.
Take it from a man who said, “Leggings and a tank top, a hood—don’t get me wrong, it’s amazing when she really gets dressed to the nines for a date night, but no matter what the attire, every time I see her I’m like ‘oh that’s neat it’s her again’” (via Reddit).
Image source: Fotografía de eLuVe / Getty Images
#3 Messy Hairdos
Men often value simplicity. A messy bun or loose, tousled waves can be incredibly attractive. This doesn’t refer to an unkempt appearance but natural hair that falls effortlessly or is casually styled in a messy bun.
In a man’s words, “Lately I’ve realized that girls with messy hair are a huge turn on for me. Whether it’s up in a bun or taken down and a bit messy, it gives a natural and effortless look I find appealing. I’ve even asked friends, and they share the same opinion.”
This shows that relaxed, undone hairstyles come across as natural and alluring, a preference shared by many men.
The next time you want to catch a man’s eye, all you’ve got to do is rock that perfectly imperfect tousled look.
Image source: AleksandarNakic / Getty Images
#4 The Art of Tying Ponytails
Possibly the most specific attractiveness trait on this list, a huge chunk of men seem to be enamored by the simple yet sensual art of tying the ponytail.
In the words of one man on Reddit, “When a girl ties her hair in a ponytail. No, I’m not attracted to the ponytail itself, but the act of producing one. The way she lifts her arms behind her head and her shirt raises a bit (b**b definition is fantastic in this position), and then she’s looking at the distance with strong concentration on her face as she ties it back. Whew, I’m getting worked up just thinking about it.”
Image source: Antonio Hugo Photo / Getty Images
#5 Deep and Raspy Voices
Many men say they’re attracted to deeper voices in women, especially when there’s a raspy or textured quality. It can come across as confident and a little mysterious, like Natasha Lyonne or Scarlett Johansson.
While some women may hate having a deeper voice, it turns out men are really into it. “There is a girl in my master’s program who has a deep, raspy voice yet is very attractive and quite petite. The combination is unbelievable,” shared one man (via Reddit).
Another guy put it more vividly: “Didn’t know what a ‘husky’ voice sounded like in women till I heard this girl in one of my classes speak in class one day. It’s so enticing. She wasn’t my type at all, but I crushed on her for a while. When she spoke, it made me feel the same way I did when I would eat cream puffs. Creamy and smooth and oh so addictive.”
Image source: Tara Moore / Getty Images
#6 A Loud, Goofy Laugh, Especially When Shared
A couple that laughs together stays together.
There’s nothing better than finding someone who shares your humor. Men find it attractive when they can let their guard down and joke with their partner.
Add a silly laugh, and you’ll get their attention. For instance, one Redditor explained that seeing a woman get goofy and comfortable, especially when she laughs uncontrollably, made him feel a real connection.
Other commenters agreed. One man realized his girlfriend’s real personality after she became comfortable with him.
When her goofy side came out, and their inside jokes grew, their bond became stronger and more enjoyable. This shift made their relationship feel more genuine and lasting to him.
So take this as your sign, ladies: let your weirdness shine. With laughter paving the way, now let’s talk about style and how simple outfits can be surprisingly captivating.
Image source: Flashpop / Getty Images
#7 Friendly and Flirty Banter
Laughing together is one thing. Banter is where the real sparks fly. A little playful back-and-forth really gets the hormones rushing, especially if it feels natural and not forced.
“If it comes easy, the banter, the chemistry, the attraction, don’t rush it,” one Redditor advised. “Go into it gently and have fun. Don’t force yourself or someone else to love. Just relax and let yourself relax around the person.”
Men swear by it, too.
“There have been plenty of times I found someone attractive and wanted to be with them. In order to do so, I initiated conversation and attempted to get to know them, however, it was always such a forced and awkward conversation, simply because the chemistry was not there. I’m now with someone I absolutely love, and our banter is spot on, our chemistry is amazing, and I couldn’t be happier.”
In Redditor’s own words, a genuine connection and playful banter made all the difference for him.
Image source: The Good Brigade / Getty Images
#8 Confidence in Her Opinions
Having distinct views and the ability to convey them is among the things men find unimaginably sexy, especially if it challenges their own.
One guy described how he appreciates a woman who can intelligently disagree with him. He finds it especially attractive when she has well-thought-out, consistent opinions, even during a friendly debate.
For him, seeing someone passionate and logical about her views, even if they differ, is highly appealing. This made their conversations feel more meaningful and shows that strong opinions can deepen attraction.
That doesn’t mean you should launch into a full-fledged debate in the middle of the restaurant, though. As another man shared, “When they’re happy to disagree and don’t feel like you have to agree on everything, it’s a huge sign of maturity and very attractive” (via Reddit).
It’s all about striking the right balance to connect on a deeper level.
Image source: Klaus Vedfelt / Getty Images
#9 A Distinct Passion
We’re not talking about reading books and hitting the gym. Men find it impressive when a woman has a hyper-specific, out-of-pocket hobby she is passionate about.
This could easily be something like really being into true crime documentaries or making gingerbread houses.
Having a really specific passion gives a sense of uniqueness that piques men’s interest. For example, a man on Reddit recounted meeting a woman who was a writer.
He explained that, although he wasn’t initially physically attracted to her, hearing about her experiences and passions changed his perception, making him want to get to know her better.
He also emphasized that many men value women who follow their interests because it brings out who they truly are, turning passion into a powerful attractor.
If you’re a Webtoon fanatic or a brunch enthusiast, don’t hold back from letting the boys know. Moving from passion to ambition, let’s see why career goals stand out.
Image source: Morsa Images / Getty Images
#10 Unwavering Career Goals and Ambition
Contrary to popular belief, men genuinely value a career-oriented woman.
Men appreciate a woman who is passionate about her career goals and consistently works toward achieving them. It’s not always about financial ambition, but rather being driven to accomplish something meaningful.
An awestruck man on Quora described an “awesome girl” he started talking to. He shared that while he appreciates traits like diligence and humor, her visible ambition stands out. He stressed that what made her so attractive was her active work toward her goals rather than waiting to pursue them later.
This proactive quality made her stand out from others in his eyes.
In his own words, “She’s always working hard in school or any of her pursuits because she wants to be happy and successful. She wants to make a difference. I don’t know about you, but that’s damn attractive. It’s infectious. That’s something I want to be a part of.”
Image source: d3sign / Getty Images
#11 Compliments
Women aren’t the only ones who love words of affirmation; men love them too. What they love even more is a woman who isn’t afraid to compliment them from time to time.
According to content creator Adrian Ortiz, who is renowned for his “Things girls do that guys love” posts on Instagram and TikTok, “randomly tell him he’s handsome,” that’s all it takes to get the boys weak in the knees and butterflies in their stomach.
Another man confirmed this, stating, “Simply put, a lot of us guys don’t get a ton of female attention, period. A small compliment, a little comment, they go farther than you think” (via Reddit).
A compliment goes a long way, ladies, so don’t hold back from appreciating their outfits, acknowledging the effort they put in, or simply thanking them for being in your life.
Image source: FluxFactory / Getty Images
#12 The Subtle Talent of Eye Contact
This one’s an oldie but a goldie. There’s nothing, and we mean nothing, that’s more attractive than perfectly timed and intense eye contact.
We’re not suggesting you give them the death stare, but a subtle glance, a look away, and a lingering look are like a perfectly orchestrated symphony in the dating world.
A Redditor shared his story, “My wife would look directly at me when we talked back when we first met. And we talked for hours (pre cell phone do none of the texting nonsense). It was a great way to know she was being honest in everything she said.”
As the saying goes: “The eyes, chico. They never lie.”
Image source: Janina Steinmetz / Getty Images
#13 The Simplest Acts of Empathy and Consideration
Ending this list on a classic, that honestly shouldn’t be gender restrictive: empathy.
Men can’t resist a woman who exudes care and consideration over the littlest things. It gives them a sense that she has an intentional, kind, and grounded personality.
A man on Reddit gushed about his woman, saying, “My fiancée always stacks plates whenever we’re done eating at restaurants to make the job easier for the waiters. When we go to Costco, she places everything with the barcode visible to make the job easier for the cashiers. Just imagine how much she makes my life easier, too. Man just small things like that matter so much. So sexy.”
It doesn’t even have to be about romance, as another man put it, “Being considerate and aware of surroundings. I was driving a female friend home after work (we worked together), and when she got out she noticed I had an empty coke can in my cup holder. She offered to take it and put it in the rubbish for me. No one has ever done that for me before and I had never been aware that it would mean so much to me” (via Reddit).
Unsurprisingly, a little kindness goes a very long way.
Image source: Galina Zhigalova / Getty Images
#14 Having a RBF (Resting Bored Face)
Turns out the broad smiles are out, and men find the low-key, mean-looking woman hard to resist. According to men on Reddit, RBF is a sign that a woman has a “strong personality.”
One of them said, “There’s something taunting about a girl who looks pissed all the time. I think it’s because when they do smile its something special and I want to be that something special.”
Image source: Counter / Getty Images
#15 Posting Them on Socials
“We love it and say we hate it,” commented a woman on Girls Ask Guys.
A story tag, a soft-launch selfie, or even just their hand in a food picture makes them feel seen and appreciated. It has less to do with marking one’s territory and more to do with quiet reassurance and validation.
While some men may roll their eyes and say, “Ugh, you don’t have to post me,” the second they spot the story with the tag, they’re grinning ear to ear and staring at their phones.
Image source: FG Trade / Getty Images
Follow Us
