Say what you want, but the skill of complimenting someone is a very subtle one.
Some praises are like magic wands that always work. For example, “Talking to you is like a breath of fresh air!” or simply, “Wow, you look beautiful,” or “You tell the craziest jokes.”
However, there are plenty of people in the world who choose to stray from the traditional path of praise in favor of something more original, peculiarly specific, or downright bizarre, leaving their unfortunate targets to wonder whether they should be flattered, irritated, confused, deeply amused, or perhaps, all of the above.
I asked the Bored Panda community to share the weirdest compliments they ever received, and truth to be told, the responses did not disappoint.
#1
“Nice muscles… for a girl,” a football player at my school said this to me, roughly 10 seconds before I almost broke his arm in an arm wrestle.
Never mess with a swimmer. Or a girl. Or a girl that swims. I guarantee that you will be injured either mentally, physically, or both.
#2
“I hate pretty girls. They think they can get what they want with their looks. That’s why I like you.”
… so I’m not pretty. Ok.
#3
I was in a Barnes and Noble once and a woman told me that she liked my aura. Apparently, it was very bright and positive so it was a nice compliment.
#4
“You’re so tall & pretty! Are you a stripper?” – Some Random Lady at Walmart. And she was completely serious as she offered me a job at the local strip club after I responded “No.”
#5
A woman once said to me with exaggerated enthusiasm, “Oh, I just love the way you apply your makeup! It looks so natural – especially your blush! And I know what I’m talking about because I used to sell makeup.”
I replied, “I’m not wearing any blush. That’s just a mild case of rosacea.”
#6
“You are pretty for a black girl.”
Umm eww.
#7
“You have eyes like a cow. Jersey cow. Jerseys are pretty foxy for cows.” Stop digging laddie.
#8
Not even sure if this was a compliment, but someone once told me, I’d be useful in an apocalypse.
#9
Them: Wow! You’re weird!
Me: thank you!
Them: *Awkwardly turns around*
#10
Random man at a shopping center, back when I was a teenager, “It’s not right for a girl to be tall, dark, and handsome!”
#11
Following a routine colonoscopy, my gastro doctor said I have a “perfect colon.” I said, “Thank you!”
#12
Once my crush’s mom complimented me on my socks in front of my crush and then she told him to look at my socks and I felt plain awkward.
#13
My friend told me I was an off-brand Energizer Bunny.
#14
The PA at my doctor’s office always tells me I have beautiful eardrums during my annual visit. One time she even told another doctor to look at them. The other doctor was also impressed.
#15
When I was pregnant a coworker told me I looked like Mother Earth. He meant it as a compliment.
#16
You’re more beautiful than a new set of snow tires! (I’m from northern Minnesota.)
#17
You are really smart for a woman.
#18
“You look like you can kill someone with your calves.” I have pretty muscular legs.
#19
I wore a new t-shirt with a purple cat on it to college. Us students from different classes got squeezed together into one room for a lecture on internships.
In the middle of the lecture, in the center of the room, and with every student’s full attention, our teacher suddenly falls silent. He peers over the rim of his glasses, at my shirt.
“…Nice pussy.”
#20
“You have really nice veins.”
#21
“Wow! You look really good in clothes!”
This was said in front of my new husband. He was a customer of mine, I’m an automobile mechanic and he had never seen me in anything except uniforms before.
#22
“You’re so pretty, except you’re fat. At least your face is pretty.”
#23
A lot of people praise my eyelashes. I am a man, and the only thing I know about my eyelashes is that I have them…One woman told me that when I die, I could donate them to her and she’d get them made up as false lashes. Not creepy at all!
#24
“Your hair is beautiful. I’d like to ask you out but I would want to control your hair. I’d want to be your hair master.”
#25
This was a compliment I received on the “About Me” section on a dating website:
“I really like your syntax.”
#26
My friend told me I was “Strange, Unusual and very truthful with what I say.”
She was being nice and said she liked having someone who was different and can trust when they say something.
#27
I have twice visited places I once worked at and have been told that “it is a lot less weird around here since you left.”
#28
“You ar not as ugly as most gingers and lucky you ‘re a woman, and you only have freckles on your face….”
#29
“Your voice is much bigger than your body.” Still not 100% sure it was a compliment. Low key bothers me occasionally.
#30
“You look like a beautiful vampire.” (I have very pale skin)
#31
“Your scleras are so white, you must be very healthy!”
#32
“I love your new glasses. They make you look smart.”
#33
“If you were a superhero, you’d be Deadpool.” Still don’t know how to take it, DP is a bad @ss, but that skin condition…
#34
“You smell… *Long sniff* Like champagne and roses.” I still do not know what that means.
#35
My endodontist told me, while I was being prepped for oral surgery, I had “nice, long roots.” Thanks?
#36
“You’ve got nice legs, for a fat person.”
#37
You are better at sports than other Indian girls.
Like wtf
#38
1. “Usually, I don’t like people like you but you are cool though.”
2. “You’re so different than I imagined.”
#39
Friend said that I have a beautiful neck and asked if she could stroke/touch it?
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