The world of modern dating can be cray-cray. More and more, people are turning to dating apps in the hopes of meeting their perfect match, but this doesn’t come without its pitfalls. With the ever-present hookup culture, unsolicited adult pics, catfishing, and profiles that use photoshopped images or filters, online dating is a potential minefield.
One Reddit user recently turned to the community to ask the question, “People who use dating apps, what is the weirdest message you’ve gotten to start a conversation?”, and the results were truly mind blowing. Keep reading for 31 of the strangest messages online daters have sent as an icebreaker.
More info: Reddit
#1
Opened our initial conversation on PlentyofFish by asking for my detailed zombie apocalypse survival plan.
I fell in love immediately. We’ve been married for almost 12 years now.
Image source: anon, cottonbro studio
#2
I once got an opening message that said something like “you might not be the prettiest girl on here, but beauty is only a light switch away.” This was over 10 years ago, and I bet that dude is still single.
Image source: Crystaltornado, Tara Winstead
#3
My brother sent this girl a message on Hot or Not: “Do you like burittos?”
They’ve been together for 17 years and married for 11 now.
Image source: Henry__Every, Pixabay
#4
A girl once messaged me with something along the lines of “do you ever see a bunch of cheese and say damn, I want to eat that cheese. And by cheese I mean my p***y”. I couldn’t help myself and replied that I’m lactose intolerant.
Image source: Teazykatka, Engin Akyurt
#5
A friend got the message “Wow. Your eyes could start a cult”.
Image source: pinkynarftroz, Noelle Otto
#6
The weirdest first message I’ve received was “My hovercraft is full of eels”, and I can’t imagine what sort of conversation she expects if the person she sends the message to doesn’t happen to be a Monty Python fan (we’re getting old and rare here).
Image source: malsomnus, Jeffry Surianto
#7
Matched with a woman. Her first message was, “I guess you’ll do.”.
Image source: Bigt**s38, Charlotte May
#8
“I want my wife to have your eyes.”
I don’t think it was meant like that, but my first thought was that the dude wanted to cut out my eyeballs.
Image source: CurvyCarrots, Noelle Otto
#9
I was the weird one. I’d start off commenting about something in the background of a pic. If I couldn’t think of something funny I’d just say “how do you feel about geese?” Most people have strong opinions.
Image source: SomeS**ttyBean, Pixabay
#10
“Excuse me good sir, would you kindly like to hook up?”
She was clearly wasted. 5 minutes later she unmatches. Apparently she didn’t like I wasn’t available immediately. This isn’t a f*****g Wendy’s.
Image source: FriendsForEternityLH, Andrea Piacquadio
#11
After my girlfriend and I started dating, she showed me her dating profile so I could see how many messages she was getting. About 50-70 per day, most of them were just “hi”. A few were really creepy (“you look like my daughter/student/sister”), but one stood out to us and we laugh about it to this day.
“you ever get f****d by a marine baby”
No punctuation or question mark, so we asked ourselves “what, like a baby shark? Baby whale?” lol… In the end she had 1500 unread messages when she deactivated her account.
Image source: Soulfighter56, adiprayogo liemena
#12
I am a sterile man and a woman messaged me first on Tinder with “It’s a shame you can’t have kids. I mean, what if we fall in love after we f**k and I want to have your babies and I can’t? I’m sorry, I don’t think this is going to work.” After I replied, she ignored it and unmatched a few days later. We were both looking for casual so extra weird.
As a bonus, when I moved to a new area, I decided to use Bumble BFF to make friends. I didn’t realize that apparently gay dudes use it to low-key try to pick up straight men. The first message I got was a dude asking me if I would fart in his face with my cheeks spread open. I turned it off after.
Image source: Wishilikedhugs, Pixabay
#13
Whose d**k do I have to suck to suck a d**k around here.
Image source: Big-Carpenter7921, Maurício Mascaro
#14
As a man, I didn’t get any opening messages. Got some doozy responses. One that still haunts me is when I sent this woman a nice opening message, talking about some of the things in her profile we had in common and asking a few open ended questions to start a conversation.
Her response was: “With all the hot military guys in town, you need to put your aim lower.”
Then she blocked me. I thought I already had low self esteem, but it took another hit that day. lol.
Image source: TypeGreen51, Rosemary Ketchum
#15
I was on hinge for a while and saw someone had “can’t text/call/meet on weekends because I’m in jail.” I thought this was a joke. It was not. She was doing time on the weekend for assault.
Image source: Exobyter, RDNE Stock project
#16
Some gay dude offering me a free place to live if I s**t in a box and gave it to him every time I s**t.
I was neither gay nor looking for a place to live and I didn’t bother to ask what the s**t was for.
Image source: BasicallyJustAnIdiot, Kim Stiver
#17
“You want to be my first dark skin ;)?”
Some gay dudes really have no shame.
Image source: Karakara16, nappy
#18
“You’re cute , hate dogs though”
(I had very my cute dog in a photo).
Image source: DuffNinja, Helena Lopes
#19
I was on Bumble, and got asked my Myers Briggs personality type. When I responded, she unmatched immediately.
Gotta respect the hustle.
Image source: chromane, mikoto.raw Photographer
#20
“WHY DON’T YOU SKYDIVE INTO THIS P***Y!!!” and then immediately unmatching me when I was like, “Woah now…”.
Image source: Synamyn_Dyxon, Tom Fisk
#21
Ah man. There were a few.
“What is your credit score?” (literally their first line after I messaged a greeting)
“Do you want children? I want to start having them in the next year.” (this is coming from someone in their late twenties)
“I like it when people are mean to me. Can you f**k me up?” (that’s baggage I can’t handle even at the best of times)
“CNC?” (translates to “Consentual Non-Consentual”… hard no for me)
“You’re not my type. But my gay friend thinks you’d be a good ‘daddy.’ Can I give him your number?” (kinda flattering, I guess?)
“My husband died last year and I am looking for someone to be a part of my family.” (she had 3 kids, all sub 10 years old)
“You’re white. I only date black guys.” (so why’d you match with me???)
The list goes on. Needless to say, I periodically rage-quit dating apps after a month or two of this.
Image source: Shahfluffers, RUN 4 FFWPU
#22
‘Hi there! You look like Anne Frank’ 🙁.
Image source: Discotraxx1990, Photo Collection Anne Fra
#23
My ex got messaged by the Swiss Cheese Pervert on OK Cupid.
He started out respectful enough but by the 3rd paragraph was talking about how he likes to [enjoy some alone time] with cheese.
She told her friends but no one believed her (she blocked him so the messages disappeared) until he started [being a bit too intimate] with cheese in public, got caught and went viral.
Image source: negativeyoda, NastyaSensei
#24
I matched with a guy who taught at my old HS. I was in his homeroom class for 1 year, so we didn’t really talk much, but he gave me an entire essay confessing his love to me. He told me how he noticed me but never made the move, and was glad I finally reciprocated.
Image source: panfriedtomato, Andrea Piacquadio
#25
Whenever a girl starts a conversation too [intimately] or wants [intimate pics] right away, I know it’s a scam.
Image source: jordan-lakers9394, Andrea Piacquadio
#26
I’ve been in a relationship for five years but I was regularly on Tinder before that.
I had my job title and company on my profile, which back then was an administrative/management job for a UK parcel company.
Girl messaged me asking if I could track her parcel for her. I didn’t know if she was joking or not but she just kept asking me weird things about parcels and then blocked me.
Forever wondered what was the point?
Image source: Jlaw118, Artem Podrez
#27
My buddy got a self-esteem slaughterer of a response once.
He asked her about the book series she mentioned in her profile.
She replied, “Too far. Too fat.”
And that was it. Killer.
Image source: ThingCalledLight, Pixabay
#28
In 2016 I once got “Is your name Harambe? Because I want you to drag me around in public”.
Image source: unib**b_official
#29
One guy asked me for a pair of dirty panties.
One offered to make me dinner at his house and gave me the address.
One guy asked me if I would go with him to burning man.
A guy asked me how much I made an hour, because he wouldn’t date anyone who made less than 20 an hour.
Yet another asked me if I knew what BDSM was, and demanded that I be a submissive. (I am no where near submissive, except with one human being.)
I had pretty much given up on online dating for years, now.
Image source: Di_Terces, Michael Burrows
#30
A woman on her first message, which was literally sent just to moan about how I was “in my 30’s and didn’t own my house”, like I could magically find a solution for that. That was all she messaged for, as far as I can tell.
Didn’t even bother to reply and tell her that I was renting because I’d given my house to my ex-wife rather than fight over it.
Image source: ledow, todd kent
#31
I had on my “about me” that I was an artist. She flew off the handle that I had a regular job as a sign designer. Called me “fake”. How about “responsible”?
#32
A girl matched with me and messaged me that “She’s older than me and men’s egos are very fragile”. No idea how she thought that was gonna go..? She was a year older….
Image source: fishsix, Becca Tapert
#33
heard one about someone who got asked do you eat p**sy and he responded with no only pork. lol
#34
Not me , but on Omegle (an old website were you basically FaceTime strangers) sooooooooo many old men showing their peepee to young girls.
#35
An old school friend DM’D me… “I see your surname changed [back].”
#36
This isn’t from a dating app, but one that I found.
“Are you Lebron James? Because you are my sunshine”
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