Working as a vet can be incredibly stressful and challenging, yet also deeply fulfilling. And it helps if you and your clients have a good sense of humor. Like when you realize that you’ll be treating pets with the names Big Dog, Chicken Salad, and Greg From Accounting.
Humor-loving veterinarians revealed the funniest names of the pets that have ever come into their clinics, and their stories are brilliant. We’ve collected the best ones to chase away the winter blues and bring a bit of sunshine into your life. Scroll down for a big dose of laughter.
#1
Not a vet but saw Lizard named Harry.
As in yer a Lizard Harry.
Image source: anon, Meghan Gordon
#2
Had a neighbor once who had two massive Rottweilers and allowed their young daughter to name them — Big Dog and Glitter.
Image source: justGusCos, bubblessue67
#3
My personal favourite is a dog named Woofgang, which inspired me to name my cat Meowzart.
Image source: ubercanucksfan, Manja Vitolic
All jokes aside for a moment, working as a vet can be physically, mentally, and emotionally draining.
According to one recent study, the biggest job-related burdens that veterinarians think they have to deal with are bureaucracy, animal suffering, and communication with animal owners.
However, in reality, bureaucracy has a much smaller negative effect on mental health than financial concerns. The latter, while not ranked by vets in the study as a main stressor, has the strongest correlation with impaired mental health.
#4
My friend used to have a cat named Chicken Salad. He currently owns a cat named Grandma.
Image source: DanimusRex, Andriyko Podilnyk
#5
Vet tech here. Best one was a tiny little Chihuahua named “Bone Crusher.” He was owned by an amateur body builder. Guy was like 6’4″ and close to 300 lbs. Funny situation all in all.
Image source: YouMightKnowOfMe, thanh hien
#6
I met a cat named Maybelline at the vet which I thought was a great name because it comes with a built-in theme song. Like someone walks into the room and says, “Who knocked over the vase?” And you sing, “Maybe it’s Maybelline.”.
Image source: 13707892, Nathan Anderson
Meanwhile, Reviving Veterinary Medicine explains that some of the biggest challenges that vets face at work include financial constraints, client expectations, emotional attachments, and burnout due to their massive workload.
Other major issues include ethical dilemmas, compassion fatigue, legal and professional pressure, and problems with team dynamics.
Coping with the emotional toll of the job can be incredibly difficult, so vets need to learn to balance their empathy and compassion with emotional boundaries, self-awareness, and consistent self-care.
#7
Wanker. A terrier mix who was actually pretty cool and not a wanker in any sense. Also a blind and deaf dog named Helen Smeller.
Image source: PrettyButEmpty, Getty Images
#8
Not a vet, but my husband named a feral tabby cat we adopted Alt-Tab because he’d make us switch from whatever task we were working on when he wanted attention or food.
Image source: anon, Davex Video
#9
I have some friends who have a cat named Greg from Accounting.
Image source: anon, Getty Images
What are the funniest pet names that you’ve ever heard in real-life, dear Pandas? What names did you give your own beloved pets? How did you come up with them, and where did you look for inspiration?
Are there any vets in the audience today? If so, what are the biggest pros and cons of your job?
Let us know what you think in the comments.
#10
Not a vet but my sister has a beta fish named Swim Shady.
Image source: kortokrizzle, Tarah Dane
#11
Vet tech here, we did a minor surgery on a cat named Bastard yesterday. Nowhere near the top but I can’t remember the ridiculous ones off the top of my head.
Image source: unusuallylost, JSB Co.
#12
Dog in my service dog class was named toast.
#13
I always wanted to have an animal named peeve so I could say “this is my pet peeve”.
Image source: nmvalerie, Yogendra Singh
#14
IANAV but a saw a poster for a missing cat named Chairman Meow.
Image source: anon, Josue Ladoo Pelegrin
#15
My aunt and uncle used to have a lovely white cat named Dumptruck. i miss Dumptruck.
Image source: anon, Alyona Bogomolova
#16
Worked at a daycare, my favorite was “diogi” (d-o-g).
Image source: 47h3157, Angel Luciano
#17
Not a Vet, but I do work with animals. We had a dog named Lunchbox. Still can’t get over that.
Image source: yumyummers, Kateryna Hliznitsova
#18
Not a vet but my hamsters are named Alexander Hamsterton and Aaron Furr.
Image source: FinnSolomon, Kayl Photo
#19
Grandpa is a vet, but these pets were in the family.
“Migraine” – yellow lab,
“Alfonzo Horatio Montego III” – I don’t know what breed he was. He was about 70 lbs,
“Henry Jesus” – huge gray and spotted Shepard that was born an only child.
“Mecca” or “Mecca Lecca High Mecca Hiney Ho” – Her b**t had so much emotion.
There’s more but those are the ones off the top of my head.
Image source: sowhatifimdead, Jan Baborák
#20
I once had a pet emperor scorpion named Cuddles.
Image source: havron, Shadow749
#21
Worked at a day care, bulldog named Potato, was a favorite.
Image source: Rockytana, Josue Michel
#22
I work at a vets, we had to do a call back for advice on a cat named Ballbag.
Image source: pippabeemine, Michael Sum
#23
Not a vet, but if any of the ladies from our vet place were here, they’d probably tell the story of me bringing in my sister’s cat to be spayed. And I had to look them in the eyes and tell them this tiny, buzzing calico girl was named “Batman.”
As the lady behind the counter put it, “We’ve had a couple other pets named Batman. None of them were girls, though.”
As to why her name was Batman, my sister, who was in her 30’s at the time, just insisted repeatedly that “Batman is a cool name for a girl.”.
Image source: AndoraAnaheim, Yerlin Matu
#24
I work at a doggie daycare. We have had a mini aussie named Crowbar, a cavalier named Chanel No. 5, and a schnoodle named Mr. Pickles. Also, one client with the last name Crowe got her dog from a shelter and kept the name they gave him, which is Jim.
Image source: c_d26, Elliott Rothman
#25
My husband use to work at a Humane Society vet office. He was up for adoption, not in for vet care, but once a rooster came in named Cluck Norris. (This was in Reno, Nevada).
Image source: FroggiJoy87, Charlie Wollborg
#26
NAV, but in high school my friend had an iguana named mariguana.
Image source: UtterDisbelief, v
#27
Leonardo DiCatio; Zombie Apocalypse.
Image source: JustaSmallTownPearl, Mikhail Vasilyev
#28
My friend named her black cat Edgar Allan Purrr.
Image source: possum-power, Neven Krcmarek
#29
Am a tech. Once had a olive yellow lab named Dawg at some point. Last week we had this really small yet chuncky chihuahua named Walnut who couldnt keep her tongue in her mouth. There was a dog I was instructed to not even go near as he’s extremely aggressive and needs to be calm for his groom. His name is Hayden so I’m expecting some giant GSD or something. No. It was a small all brown, ancient cocker spaniel.
Image source: anon
#30
My sister used to work at a doggy daycare, and there was a dog whose name was Dammit. “Come inside, Dammit!”.
Image source: Scarlet-Janefox
#31
Not a vet, but have friends with cat named battlestation.
Image source: mfcrunchy
#32
Not a vet but my neighbour had a dog called deefer (d for)… The dog’s name was literally ‘deefer dog’ (d for dog) .
Image source: ArcadianAgent
#33
There’s a pot belly pig living next door to me… I’ve called him Notorious P.I.G.
Image source: gparedes7
#34
I know a dog called Askit,
So when people inquire about the dog’s name, the owner says, “Askit”.
Image source: Wheres_that_to
#35
Funniest name I ever heard of (Not a vet) was “Serenity meow”.
Image source: The_Governor_02
#36
Okay, not a vet, but my bf and I were walking through campus one night. We hear vicious barking nearby, followed by a stern, male voice saying “be quiet, Biscuit!”
Just the juxtaposition of the downright feral growling and the fact that the dogs name was Biscuit had us in stitches.
Image source: dannixxphantom
#37
My dog’s name is Bark Obama.
Image source: atreddit13
#38
Crazy cat lady here. The best pet names I’ve heard are Speed Bump for a tortoise and Schrodinger for a cat. I’m stealing that one.
Image source: Birch2011
#39
Friend of mine has an outdoor cat who hangs out on the driveway.
Cat’s name is Parkon.
Image source: Dippy_Egg
#40
My nephew named his cat Farmer and his dog Pancake.
Image source: spinner198
#41
We have a regular customer who has named their cat, “ cat” but in binary code.
Image source: edaff4
#42
My friend named her cat Albus Purrrrrcival Wool-fric (he’s SUPER fluffy) Brian Fluffledore. She calls him by his full name in all it’s glory when he is naughty.
Image source: notreallyamango
#43
Tiny 3month old baby kittrn that barely meowed named…Khal Drogo.
Image source: drpotniatheron
#44
Veterinarian here.
Upinsmoke ( a Persian cat)
Car number nine ( another cat)
A lady with 4 cats – Elvis , Bosom, Jesus and Barbara
Dog called Sol ( our Sol = arsole)
Bat man, a cat with facial markings like a mask
The Kid Sampson = a bulldog
The nurses name all wild crows Russell and seagulls, Steven
Forgot about Bizzle Chips (bullmastif) and Gravel (my own dog) Gravel had a gritty childhood.
Image source: broccolirulesmylife
#45
When I was 6 I named our dog Kitty.
Image source: Questionsforlater
#46
My friend got a kitten for her son and he named it Shoe.
Image source: AngryUnicorn479
#47
A cow named Freaky Girl.
Image source: RoryDeanWinning
#48
Not a vet, but my buddy has a cat named Lucipurr.
Image source: Vader_Bomb
#49
Our cats are Maverick and Goose.
Image source: P_Rigger
#50
Had a cat come in named Ghostface Killah once. He was all black with a white “mask” on his face so it fit pretty well.
Image source: 87Kessel
#51
My brother’s cat was called Tiba. He didn’t want a cat, it kind of moved in. He took it to the vet and, because it didn’t have a name was marked “TBA” (To Be Announced).
Image source: oddtee
#52
Another vet tech here, we did surgery recently on a 20ft anaconda named “Satan”.
Image source: JM_2016
#53
I’m no Vet, but my wife and I adopted an adult cat who was originally named Sammy, but I wasn’t satisfied with a pet that didn’t have an 80s reference for a name so I tried for Mr. Roboto, I got vetoed on that so I went with Domo Hairy Gato instead.
Side note: I’m no longer married, but still have Domo aka The Domonater, Lord Bishop Grand Admiral Marshal of the Noms.
Image source: Lonestar1771
#54
NAV but had a kitten named “fishbait” when I was a kid.
Image source: that1whitedude
#55
Not a vet but my mom named her guinea pigs Scratch and Sniff. We also have a dog who was originally named MJ (As in Mary Jane, not Micheal Jackson. We had a dog named Spidie (which is a short form of Spiderman) at the time so it fit) but was nicknamed Noodle after getting a spaghetti noodle stuck to her face for half an hour. This is now what she responds to and therefore her name. Noodle’s a good dog.
Also, my goldfish was named Magikarp. This is the only one that was entirely my fault. The other ones were my parents’ ideas.
Image source: everlastingSnow
#56
Used to be a vet tech. There was a dog named Possum. Thought that was an odd name, until you walked up to the dog and it dropped to the ground and rolled over onto it’s back. Most fitting name ever.
Image source: dr-brennan
#57
I met a one eyed dog named Fetty Pup.
Image source: i_paint_things
#58
My husband’s parents had two cats named Watson and Crick. Now they just have Crick, who is a marshmellow of a cat.
Image source: whiskey__throwaway
#59
DVM Student here.
I’ve met:
* A cat named Paperwork
* A cat named Monkeyslap
* A toy Schnauzer named Snackpack
* And a Great Dane named “Left Boot”…
His human was a 7 year old boy who yelled at me because I misread his name which was written “L. Boot” Which I assumed was a kid trying to write “El Boots”.
I was like “El Boots” is an adorable name, did you think of that?” He yelled at me and said, “NO, HE’S JUST ONE BOOT. LEFT BOOT.”
Also, my Leopard Gecko’s name is Fitzlizard Darcy…
Image source: Mcdickboat
#60
Not a vet, but work at a vet clinic (kennel worker). We had two dogs come in named “Peanut Butter” (male) and “Butter Cookie” (female). Both responded exclusively to “Butter.”
Another time, we had a mean pom named “Puppylove.”.
Image source: chernoushka
#61
My cats name growing up was Edward Scissor Paws.
Image source: schuser
#62
I have a rescue husky who was abandoned at a petrol station in Cyprus. We named him Diesel.
Image source: Trivius
#63
My parents rescued a staffordshire terrier and a pitbull mix. Staffie was named Bogart (Bogie for short) and my parents didn’t change his name. My dad started calling him BigHead. Now he only responds to BigHead. His name is down as BigHead on vet and groomer records. People think my dad is being mean until they see this dog. He really does have a rather large head.
Image source: anon
#64
Vet tech in training, we had a rabbit come through with a German name that translated to lunch meat I think lol.
Image source: ThatGuySlay
#65
Sister has Nospurratu.
Image source: Alvraen
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