It’s exciting when you plan something you’ve been looking forward to, especially when it involves someone you care about. You imagine how everything might go down until you start to realize that just maybe, the other person isn’t nearly as invested.
Today’s Original Poster (OP) had been waiting to finally spend a day together with her husband after a year and a half. However, when he spent the whole day chasing after his own plans, she was left devastated and wondering if she really mattered to him.
More info: Reddit
There’s nothing quite like the thrill of planning something special with someone until you notice they’re clearly more interested in something else
Image credits: SJ Objio / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The author planned a rare weekend off with her husband, their first together in 18 months, hoping to visit an animal sanctuary
Image credits: MsPuddleDuck
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
However, that morning her husband left early to have breakfast with his friend, skipped the sanctuary due to rain, and spent the day helping his friend and playing video games
Image credits: MsPuddleDuck
Image credits: arminka19899 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She then walked to the grocery store in the rain, locked herself out, and waited 45 minutes for him to let her back in while he continued prioritizing his friend
Image credits: MsPuddleDuck
By evening, he drove an hour away to assist the same friend, while she expresses her frustration and asked to be left alone, ending the day disappointed and emotionally drained
The OP shared that she was a nurse who worked around 50 hours a week in a pediatric ICU, where the emotional toll was intense to the point that she was often left in tears weekly. Her salary covered all household expenses, meanwhile, her husband also had a degree but worked only two days a week at a grocery store, spending much of his free time playing video games.
After begging her husband to swap his Saturday shift, they were supposed to go on a simple, joyful trip to an animal sanctuary. However, on the much-anticipated Saturday, her husband left early for breakfast with his best friend before she even woke up. When she called him, he told her he was helping his friend set up lights and that the weather wasn’t good enough for a visit to the animal sanctuary, anyway.
He returned hours later, lay around, played video games, and promised that they would cook dinner together later in the evening. However, it wasn’t long before he went out again with another friend. The OP decided to do some grocery shopping, and because she couldn’t drive due to medical issues, she had to walk.
Upon her return, she realized she accidentally locked herself out in the rain, and called her husband repeatedly. He promised to help but delayed for an hour, eventually allowing her in the house only to leave again shortly afterward. Frustrated, she sent him a message telling him she was upset and did not wish to speak with him anymore that night.
Image credits: New Africa / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The situation the OP experienced isn’t just about a single disappointing Saturday, it reflects patterns that relationship experts warn can be deeply damaging. According to Freedom Therapy, one of the clearest signs a partner is prioritizing others over the relationship is when they repeatedly cancel or reschedule plans with you to accommodate someone else.
They explained that it becomes even more apparent if they are consistently more available and responsive to friends, family, colleagues, or online communities than to you, letting outsiders’ preferences override agreed-upon plans, needs, or boundaries.
This kind of behavior can quickly escalate into emotional neglect, and Psychology Today notes that when a partner repeatedly puts others above you, it slowly erodes emotional intimacy and fosters feelings of isolation, resentment, and disconnection.
Marriage also emphasizes that the neglected partner’s needs for validation and support go unmet, leaving them feeling secondary or unseen, and that unaddressed neglect can cause the hurt partner to detach emotionally, communicate less honestly, and accumulate grudges. They add that even minor slights become triggers for strong reactions as trust gradually deteriorates.
Netizens agreed that the OP’s husband was neglectful, inconsiderate, and failed to prioritize her. They suggested that his behavior was inexcusable, and even questioned his motives and commitment, hinting at potential underlying issues beyond laziness.
Netizens also recommended the OP and her husband went to therapy, but what do you think about that? Would you consider couples therapy, or do you think this is a dealbreaker? We would love to know your thoughts!
Netizens agreed that the author was not at fault and emphasized that she deserved respect and a partner who values her time
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