Why Bravo couldn’t wait to air this episode of The Real Housewives of Miami this Thursday instead of last night is beyond me, but one thing is for sure: it was the most entertaining episode of the entire show’s existence. Hands down.
Instead of a lingerie party, Lisa’s charity function was a triple header event that featured more fisticuffs than the repeatedly advertised Joanna Krupa vs. Adriana de Moura fight, which served as the main event of the episode. Before that debacle went down, we had to suffer through more Karent bashing, a verbal fest between Lea and Karent’s friend named Beau (who I swear I’ve seen on some other reality show before), Elaine Lancaster/James and Beau getting into it, and Lisa having a justified hissy fit once James shoved Beau into her pool, splashing the DJ equipment and almost ruining her party. Then the inevitable punch occurred, quickly splitting fans into Team Joanna and Team Adriana camps on Twitter and other social media sites. While I typically prefer Joanna over Adriana any day at this point in time, I have to go on record to say that all the women were at fault in some capacity. Well, except Lisa, who was the true victim of her cast mates’ (and Joe Francis) reign of terror at her party.
So who was really in the wrong? I would be up all night listing how each lady (sans Lisa, and in some respects Ana) had a hand in the chaos of the night, but I’m just going to put myself out there and declare Adriana as the true crap starter of the night.
Don’t get me wrong. Both Karent and Joe Francis did indeed fire up Joanna earlier in the night, while Karent’s friend Beau (who is a former Big Brother contestant) and James (aka Elaine Lancaster) were responsible for the pool incident that sent Lisa on edge. But just when things were getting under control, Adriana pulled a Danielle Staub move by bringing that article to the party, looking for drama like a dope fiend scrounges for a piece of crack rock.
There is a time and a place for confrontations of that caliber and your alleged friend’s party, event, social gala, whatever is never a place to want to call someone out unless you want an audience to see the tongue lashing take place. This, plus the fact that Adriana was the one who allegedly brought Karent into the fold in the first place, are the main reasons why I have absolutely no sympathy for Adriana and her crusade to “build a case” against anyone. She’s swimming in her own self-made ‘misery,’ making Crissy Rice and (ugh…) Larsa Pippen look tame in comparison.
Ironically during the first season, Larsa and Crissy claimed Adriana was trying too hard, couldn’t keep her mouth shut, and was a wannabe; the same characteristics Adriana is accusing Karent as being this year. So maybe Adriana needs to rewatch that first season and either give Karent some pointers on how to be less annoying or continue calling the kettle black.
At the same time, Joanna (as much as I love her), acted like a derange lunatic tonight. 
She seriously needed to be given a sedative or something, because she was on a destructive, war path and almost no one was safe from her rampage. Did Joanna deserve that slap/punch? I don’t think so, because Adriana wasn’t threatened in a physical way. She did claim Joanna grabbed her, however, I didn’t see that particular action take place during the multiple times I analyzed the scene. If Joanna had of actually snatched her or something, then yea, Adriana would have been justified. On the other hand, Adriana overreacted just as much as Joanna did and the both of them were out of line and owed Lisa an apology and clean up crew to clean up their mess.
Plus is this the first time in Real Housewives history where a Housewife has slapped/punched another Housewife on-screen? Sure, we’ve had our share of hair pulling and threats, but has anything really come down to fisticuffs? And, no, Tamra Barney and Jeanna Keough’s little spat with the restraining order does not count either, because only a piece of paper and wine was used in thar scenario.
Other Moments of the Night to Note
– The James vs. Beau fight was hilarious, only because 1) James didn’t have to fight Lea’s battle, because Beau (who is Karent’s friend and a former Big Brother contestant) had already dug a hole for himself as soon as he opened his mouth to talk from the beginning. Then Lea later threw James, aka Elaine Lancaster, under the bus when Lisa came to snatch a verbal knot in his ass. Next time, James, do not go hard for your girl Lea until she gives you a decent explanation as to why she didn’t fully have your back when it was needed.
– Speaking of the pool incident, what type of DJ would set up his equipment that close to a pool in the first place? I know there are plenty of Spring Break parties where a DJ usually does his thing near a body of water, but I’m pretty sure it was not as close to the water as the DJ’s equipment was at Lisa’s party.
– Joe Francis oozed sleaze out of every orifice of his body during the episode and I’m almost certain that he probably slept with Marta again when the night was over. Plus, if it is true that Joe Francis slept with Marta while she was still underage, he’s about to be in a world of trouble if Joanna and her mother decides to have someone investigate the potential case.
– Wonder how much money Bravo had to spend on blurring out Lisa and Adriana’s nipples during the night? Also, why didn’t anyone at the party politely inform the women of their nip slips? Were they too scared to have their heads chewed off in the process?
– Finally, was anyone else wanting to snatch that broom from that one dude and beat his ass with it? I mean, seriously.
At the end of the night, you have to admit that this episode of The Real Housewives of Miami breathed some much-needed life into the show and has me actually looking forward to Thursday’s episode with glee instead of dread. What did you think about the episode?
Photo Credit: Bravo
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Hasn’t anyone else picked up yet that Joanna Krupa HOSTED a “Girls Gone Wild” Video?
Sure she helps the animals with PETA, but when she contributes to the exploitation of young women, teens, college girls, who, at the moment lack better judgment, no one seems to notice. How many teens (some were underaged, and that’s why Joe Francis was arrested originally) were exploited by this video series?
And it is an absolute positive FACT that Joanna hosted one of these videos where teens and college girls are coerced into getting naked for the camera for sleazy men to masturbate to.
She is a lowlife just like Joe Francis. Her and her sister slept with whoever could help them, and then while “saving the animals” she was exploiting young girls in porn movies.
I believe Adriana when she says she was grabbed, you can see Joho’s left arm go forward and then when the camera comes around the side, she already has a tight hold on Adriana’s arm.
Christy and Larsa were whiny idiotic self pitying wastes of space and that is the slot filled by Joanna KKKrupa the racist wackadoo this season.
I think it is karma catching up with Joanna, go back and watch the fight scene again but this time go back a minute or two prior, and watch her rough up Marta physically when Marta tries to intervene and keep her from going psychotic (something it’s clear Marta is forced to do quite a bit). I did not notice that on first viewing but once I saw it I lost any sympathy for KKKrupa. Clearly she has needed a jackslap for a long time, and she messed with the wrong person this time, which generally happens eventually to all deranged alcoholic bullies.