A Star Wars Sarlacc Pit Toddler Pillow Actually Exists

A Star Wars Sarlacc Pit Toddler Pillow Actually Exists

A Star Wars Sarlacc Pit Toddler Pillow Actually Exists

You’re not looking at a cleverly-rendered painting or drawing, this Sarlaac Pit Star Wars pillow is real, and it’s intended for toddlers. Now obviously a kid isn’t going to know that you’re putting them on a pillow that’s designed to look like some fantastical tooth-lined maw waiting forever to swallow them up, but the idea is something that’s right out of a nightmare and is obviously meant for Star Wars enthusiasts. It’s available on Etsy and honestly I’m not certain if they have permission to do this or not but if they do, yikes. They also have Death Star pillow which looks pretty cool, and not like it wants to eat you alive.

Apparently the pillow is supposed to be pretty cushy with a minky top and two handles that make it easier to carry. Great, so like the Sarlaac itself this thing can be moved occasionally. Oh, how many of you happened to know anything about the Sarlaac? Since we’re on the subject I’ll gladly tell you what I know, at least what’s been revealed.

The Sarlaac starts out as a spore, little more than a floating quandary that might go undetected by a lot of creatures. Like many creatures throughout the known galaxy however there are male and female creatures. The male Sarlaac spore, which is smaller, will adhere to the female and essentially suck her dry. When this finally happens and the male is the original size of the female he will burst, thus sending even more Sarlaac spores into the surrounding environment. From that point on it takes about 30,000 years for a Sarlaac spore to mature. A lot can happen in this time so there’s a good chance that a lot of the spores either won’t survive or will somehow be consumed, digested, or otherwise killed off. How ironic that a creature that digests its food for so long would in turn be digested so quickly.

Anyway, once a Sarlaac reaches maturity it will burrow itself about 100 meters into the ground, where it will sit with its mouth upwards waiting for anything to fall into its beaked mouth. The creature injects its prey with painful neurotoxins that immobilize and torture its unwitting victims so that they’re unable to move as they’re digested over a thousand-year period. It also has hundreds of spear-like teeth that serve the function of preventing anything from escaping its many stomachs. So if you think about it, if this thing could swallow enough victims it would be well fed for about 1,000 years or more since it digests them so slowly. Only one person in the history of Star Wars has ever made it out, and that was of course the notorious bounty hunter, Boba Fett.

So that’s the skinny on the thing that this pillow is fashioned after. Thankfully a creation such as this will hold and comfort your kid rather than try to swallow them whole, but it’s still kind of an unnerving sight to be putting your toddler into.

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