In a long-term friendship, you show up for the big, terrible moments. You answer the late-night call, you sit through the funeral, you offer a shoulder to cry on. It’s a non-negotiable pact of mutual support. Even moreso when your friendship ties deepen and become family connections.
But some people don’t read through the whole friendship manual. For one woman, a friend who became her SIL became dependent on her support for years, but then vanished during her darkest hour. However, when that same friend returned, desperate for help, she was met with a cold shoulder instead of an open door.
More info: Reddit
A true friendship is supposed to be a two-way street, but one person could close the road when it suits them, even in the other’s darkest hour
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For years, a woman was the sole emotional and financial support for her best friend’s heartbreaking infertility journey
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But when the narrator got pregnant, her friend’s support turned to silence, and she was cut off completely
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The biggest betrayal came when her friend refused to attend her own brother’s funeral, leaving the pregnant widow to grieve alone
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Years later, the friend returned, her own life in ruins, begging for the help she had once refused to give
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The narrator made it clear that she felt no sympathy and did not want anything to do with her former bestie and sister-in-law
For 15 years, this OP was the definition of a day-one friend. She supported her best friend, Daisy, through a seven-year emotional black hole of infertility, miscarriages, and a deeply unsympathetic husband. She and her own husband, Dan (Daisy’s brother), were Daisy’s entire support system, even putting their own career ambitions on hold to stay close and care for her.
But the moment the OP got pregnant, that 15-year friendship evaporated. Daisy, unable to handle her friend’s happiness, cut her off completely. This emotional exile reached its peak of cruelty when Dan had a fatal car accident. The narrator, now a grieving, pregnant widow, begged her best friend to attend her own brother’s funeral. Daisy refused, hung up, and left her to grieve alone.
Two years later, after the narrator had moved away and built a new life, the emotional boomerang came flying back. Daisy called from an unknown number, her life in absolute shambles. She had finally had a baby, but he only lived to be 5 days old. Her husband was leaving her, she was broke, and she was homeless. She was calling the friend she had abandoned in her darkest hour, expecting a soft place to land.
She did not get one. Instead, she was met with a brutal, ice-cold final word. The narrator told her, “I don’t care about you. I don’t care about your life… I don’t care that your baby died. Just leave me and my daughter alone.” She has been battered with messages calling her “awful” and “heartless,” but she’s standing firm, asking the internet if she was the jerk for her devastatingly honest words.
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Daisy’s initial reaction to her friend’s pregnancy, while cruel, is a common and painful manifestation of infertility grief. Psychologist Dr. Saira Jhutty, PhD explains that seeing a close friend become pregnant can trigger intense feelings of jealousy, anger, and isolation for someone struggling with their own fertility.
This jealousy might look like a character flaw but it is a symptom of the intense and often all-consuming grief that comes with repeated pregnancy loss. However, her decision to abandon her best friend after her own brother’s fatal accident crosses a line from understandable grief into an intense and selfish betrayal.
The narrator was in the throes of what the Mayo Clinic describes as “complicated grief,” the sudden, traumatic loss of a spouse, a life event that can cause “intense sorrow, pain and rumination.” Daisy’s refusal to attend the funeral, abandoning her friend in her most vulnerable moment, was nothing but cruel and severed the foundation of their friendship.
The narrator’s final word seemed brutal, but simply had to be done. As psychologist Dr. Marisa G. Franco explains, one-sided friendships, where one person consistently gives and the other takes, are not sustainable. Daisy’s actions proved the friendship was entirely conditional on her own needs. The narrator’s refusal to help was the last step to severing a bond with someone who had already proven they were not a true friend.
The internet declared her brutal honesty wasn’t heartless, but the direct consequence of a friendship already destroyed
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