There’s no such thing as a perfect parent, but there are definitely some that come pretty close. Unfortunately, there are also those who are the complete opposite – toxic parents.
It’s no secret that toxic parenting can have a lasting effect on a child’s self-esteem and can even lead to mental health issues later on in life.
So when someone wondered “What is a sign of toxic parenting?” on Ask Reddit, it was destined to turn into an illuminating read about the ways people can tell if their parenting methods do more harm than good.
Below we wrapped up some of the most interesting and thought-provoking responses, so scroll down. And let us know what you think are the signs of poor parenting in the comment section below!
#1
Always believing they’re right because they’re the adult and therefore not letting the child have any say.
#2
When they constantly invalidate your feelings.
Image source: Hot_Comfortable_6373, Mick Haupt
#3
Kids who feel like nothing they do is good enough or they can’t do anything right. Their parents have told them they are stupid or useless so often they have started to believe it.
Image source: rowenaravenclaw0, Tima Miroshnichenko
#4
Not being allowed to make mistakes and constantly being shouted at for them
Image source: sami2503, RODNAE Productions
#5
The belief that your children belong to you, that they are beneath you and your property. That because you brought them into this world, you are owed respect. Respect and trust are gained, they are not owed.
Image source: TheAngryArcanist
#6
Never actually teaching your kids anything, just criticizing, “I told you so” and “because I said so”
Image source: eveningspliff, Monstera
#7
Being unable to apologize, setting and enforcing standards they themselves don’t follow
Image source: 19whale96, Phil Nguyen
#8
Telling you to take responsibility without giving you freedom. Responsibility is only possible if you have the freedom to make the wrong choice but choose to make the right one.
Image source: TheMetaReport, Pedro Plassen Lopes
#9
Guilt tripping your kids into begging for your forgiveness.
“I bet you wish I was dead”, “Nothing I do is ever good enough for you”, etc.
Image source: mystixlosz, Kindel Media
#10
Any sort of adept knowledge from their child about doing something sneakily. My parents have always been very strict about what I wore not only out in public, but even just hanging out with friends at their houses. I have since become a master at fashionably layering and they were never the wiser. All extremely strict parenting does is teach kids how to be stealthy and break rules without getting caught.
Image source: hotsexydinosaur
#11
Any form of hitting and calling it “discipline”
It’s not it’s straight up abuse and it traumatizes your children I know cause I was raised off it and guess who I cut out of my life.
Image source: artmysticgamer, RODNAE Productions
#12
Insisting you know your kids’ mind better than they themselves do. Proclaiming what they experience, feel, think, and intend. Being dismissive or condescending when they try to speak for themselves.
Seeing your child as identical to you or an extension of you (“twinning”), and going around bragging about this.
Not acknowledging or neglecting their emotions.
Blaming their children for what are natural reactions to the parent’s behaviour. (A similar dynamic “When he looks in the mirror and sees his dirty face, he tries to wash the mirror.”)
Image source: LeisurelyLoner, RODNAE Productions
#13
Yelling at your kid for backtalking when they’re really just having an opinion.
Image source: Vicious_X
#14
Parents who press their personal beliefs and practices upon their children. Maybe your daughter doesn’t want to wear dresses all the time. So what? Maybe your son doesn’t want to be the doctor that you weren’t able to be. Okay… So?
For example, my parents are very religious and everything would be about religion and honoring God; yet, the ironic thing is, that my parents are extremely abusive- physically, verbally, mentally, and emotionally. Don’t force beliefs upon your children. Widen their perspective. Show them what’s out there. And let them make their own decisions. Don’t yell at them or hurt them if they’re not doing it *your* way.
Image source: tessa_simone, Josh Applegate
#15
“I cleaned your poop and fed you everyday selflessly” Bro you decided to have a kid and didn’t know that babies don’t start using the loo as soon as they’re born?
Image source: anon
#16
If the kid is “mature for their age”, they are being severely neglected emotionally and most likely already have deep psychological scars.
Image source: KailTheDryad, cottonbro
#17
Emotional manipulation and gaslighting.
Image source: HindoHandoHondo, Gustavo Fring
#18
Constant criticism of choices
Image source: anon, RODNAE Productions
#19
Treating kids like they aren’t supposed to have emotions
Image source: Bee0099
#20
Telling your child to do something, then getting mad when they do it wrong.
One time my mom made me fold her laundry, then got mad at me because one her shirts was inside out.
I think about that every time I fold clothes now…
Image source: Nickynui, Annushka Ahuja
#21
When children aren’t allowed to have boundaries under the guise of ‘’you shall have respect for your elders/parents/family’’
Image source: misssandyshores, Kampus Production
#22
Parents not understanding kids have bad days to. They may not have a bad day like an adult would, but to their little minds they can get just as overwhelmed as we can mentally.
Image source: minimomma1989, Ivonne Lecou
#23
“Stop crying or I will give you something to cry about”
“I gave up so much for you and this is how you repay me , by being a little whining brat”
“Sometimes I wish I never had you , why can’t you be like *friends name* who is always behaving politely and respectfully ”
“Why don’t you go and live with *friends name* and their parents. Maybe they will teach you some manners , once you have you can try try speak to me again”
Had this a lot during my childhood
Image source: Unique-Hamster-93
#24
Victim blaming, only seeing the wrong things and ignoring the accomplishments and good and such
Image source: water_hat19
#25
Openly having favorites among their kids.
Image source: Tyrannical_Pie, Vlada Karpovich
#26
Thinking that asking a question is arguing
Image source: Coochieslayer300
#27
When the kids are all in activities they hate because its what the parents want them to do. Living their life over through their kids.
Image source: Hopalicious, Michał Parzuchowski
#28
Getting your kids to pick sides in your broken marriage
Image source: toes_malone
#29
Helicopter parenting
Image source: lostdoomer, Mikhail Nilov
#30
I’ve met a lot of messed kids whose divorced parents would use them as an outlet to rip on the other parent, and try and pit the kid against the other parent. It makes you question who’s really acting like the child here.
Image source: manlikerealities, Kindel Media
Follow Us
