Sheer Genius 3.01 “A Risque Runway” Recap

Ok, Bravo, bring your best. Or worst.

Welcome to a new (long overdue) season of Sheer Genius, where the blades and comments cut equal lengths in the hair salon. We got a new judge (Jonathan Antin), a new host (Camila Alves, Matthew McConaughey’s girlfriend), and a new slew of hairstylists that all seem to have peaked in their careers, so why are they on Sheer Genius? Unfortunately, we don’t find that out tonight, but we did see their work, which was… Well…

OK, let me give you a disclaimer. I am not a beautician, barber, or any of that. Does that mean I am qualified to do these recaps? Maybe not in some people’s eyes, but hey, I DO know ugly when I see it and if tonight’s episode indicated anything, it showed that I was right on the money. To an extent.

But first let’s get to the first Short Cut Challenge of the season, which consists of the hairstylists taking punk rock girls and turning them into decent products of society. But these girls have hair that is lethal in every sense of the word, from flammability to sharp and pointy to hell on the eyes. The most atrocious of the lot ended up going to Amy (who reminds me of a Billie Piper/Taylor Momsen hybrid), but she miraculously won the challenge. Bravo to her, but to Faahtema, Amy’s style was a tired and overused trick in the canon of hairstylists. Sometimes safe is more, Faahtema. Sometimes.

The low styles in this challenge belonged to Faatemah (no shocker there), Janine (her style was dry, with no sheen and sloppy finish on the cut) and Brian, who’s model was sooo pissed at him that I think she would’ve kicked his ass right then and there; if given the chance of course.

The next thing on the agenda is the Meet and Greet, which was slightly boring, because it was just a lot of toasting and eating. Moving on…

We next meet the group’s new mentor, Orlando Pita, who will help guide them in their journey this season. By God, they will need it. The Elimination Challenge involves working with L *Space to design the hair for their models of a swimwear campaign. Turns out that the models will be only wearing the bottom part of the swimsuit, which means the stylists have to come up with a hairstyle that covers their model’s breasts.

Um, come again?

While crazy scenarios of how the stylists were going to pull this challenge off flew in my head, they didn’t compare to what actually came across the runway.

Matthew, Janine, April, Jon, Arzo, and Brig nailed the concept of the challenge. Arzo, Jon, and Matthew’s styles all kind of looked the same with a semi-mullet starting from the top, but finishing on the bottom in different unique styles. April’s model looked like a lost Jersey Shore cast member, which in this case was not a bad thing. Faatemah, Giacomo, and Brian all look as if they were trying to show their own individual looks, but forgot to incorporate the actual challenge into that look, IMO. Amy, Adee, and Joey just… well I don’t know. Adee’s original idea was to just put extensions over the model’s nipples, making the poor girl seem as if she was growing hair from her breasts, which is not sexy at all. I wanted to vomit when I saw it. But his solution didn’t help either, because you could still see the nipples, which was the opposite of the goal of the challenge. Adee still (stupidly) let his ego get the best of him and defended his style, despite Jonathan Antin telling him that even a 3 yr old could pull that off, which is true. But Adee doesn’t stop there. He throws a temper tantrum as soon as he gets backstage by knocking stuff off shelves and muttering “wanker”. Nice, Adee. Nice.

Amy and Joey’s looks were just tacky and distracting, respectively. I really hated Faatemah’s look, but she was safe, so go figure. In the end, Janine, April, and Brig were the top three, but Janine took home the win for this week (which was beautiful to the eyes). That left the bottom three being Amy, Joey, and Adee, but the true shocker out of that set is the fact that Adee stayed and Joey went home. I say this only because I expected more out of Adee with the credentials he listed (especially the famous David Beckham photo). I am more disappointed that he stood by his style than the style itself, because I could have done that and I don’t recommend anyone let me near their hair.

So what did you guys think? Did the judges get it right? Did I get it right? Are their any favorites standing out for you (Brig is mine)? Comment below…

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