Swearing is a common way for people to express their emotions and frustrations, but it can also be a source of conflict or discomfort in certain social and professional situations. For some individuals, swearing may be explicitly prohibited by their workplace, religious beliefs, or personal values. In these cases, finding alternative phrases or euphemisms can be a useful way to express oneself without risking offense or punishment.
I’m not allowed to swear so I say stuff like “freaking”, “shoot” and most notably “fudgeknuckles” to avoid punishment. I’ve heard stuff like “frubida” and have recently adopted “shiitake” and I’m eager to hear what you say. I also wanted to find out what are the other alternatives people use, so I decided to ask the Bored Panda community: “What is the most ridiculous thing you say so you don’t swear?” Scroll down to see what the answers were.
#1
Sometimes, when I’m really pissed, I moo instead of swearing. Don’t ask me why, I don’t know either.
#2
1. Mother-father
2. Dog farts
3. Got-dandruff-some-of-it-itches
4. Son of a biscuit
#3
I would imagine someone swearing in medieval languages, like thou art a cookie or something.
#4
fudge nuggets, gosh dang nabbit and shiitaki mudhrooms.
#5
Fekkin’ is one of my favorites. That and “for the love of ballpoint pens”.
#6
One time I stubbed my toe in school and went “FFFFFF” and then slowly went “…fructose.” The teacher was skeptical. I also really like bull-spit and just any medieval or creative curse, such as beaver dam and God Daniel it.
#7
Idiotic brain-damaged booger pickin chicken butt! It’s one sentence.
#8
“Monkeyface”. Do you want to hear the evolution of why I say that? If not, too bad.
So, when I was little, I liked Spy Kids. The main character, Carmen, says “Oh, shiitake mushrooms” bc she can’t curse. So I started saying it until my mom told me it was an actual curse word (oops).
My mom says “shmonks” when she’s trying not to curse, which is a derivative of “shiitake mushrooms”. So I started saying “monkeyface”.And now when I stub my toe I scream:
‘Holy goodness!’, but the ‘monkeyface’ thing was cool for a while.
#9
Dirty poodles. Worked in an animal shelter for a spell and also am certified in pet grooming. Ever try to groom a very dirty poodle?
#10
This one was completed by accident… Wanted to say ‘son of a b**ch’ but it came out ‘bunny snitches’. Now my go-to!
#11
I just try to run out of momentum before I get to the swear words, so something like, “Dirty rotten lousy miserable pathetic excuse for a…” until I eventually give up.
#12
I hug my dog instead of swearing. Don’t ask why, I don’t know.
#13
Pants, shoes, and ‘oh for the love of cheese and crackers’.
#14
Holy guacamole!
#15
Shirt, like from The Good Place.
#16
What in Cthulhu’s name and H-E-Single Asgardian Hockey Stick.
#17
Grasshole and fudge.
#18
Sweet Baby Pancakes is my “holy s**t.” Also, “son of a motherless goat,” which is from the Three Amigos.
#19
You absolute- followed by any word you want. Examples are you absolute dishwasher, you absolute fridge, you absolute chicken-headed dog water. If you want actual swearwords substitutes I’m not that helpful since almost everyone just uses the actual word here.
#20
Not really bizarre, but I say ‘What the Fred’ and ‘Holy Sharon’.
#21
“Frickadoodle”
#22
One time I stubbed my toe in school and went “FFFFFF” and then slowly went “…fructose.” The teacher was skeptical. I also really like bull-spit and just any medieval or creative curse, such as beaver dam and God Daniel it.
#23
I growl deeply. I dunno why, but I do it all the time. They aren’t quiet little growls either.
My poor throat. . .
#24
Oh balderdash!
#25
“Puppies and kittens!!!” and when that’s not enough, “Puppies and kittens everywhere!”.
#26
Holy crepe
#27
Well Spit
Fluff
Where didn’t you learn how to drive
Go cuddle a cactus
#28
Ahh, Fudgesicles, and Lollipops!
Not sure how my brain came up with it but it works.
#29
MotherHell
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