We all know how powerful money can be. On the upside, it can change someone’s life for the better. However, it can also ruin longtime friendships in a single instance.
Some of these issues stem from lending money, and the story you’re about to read is one you’ve likely heard many times. A man who had been struggling financially constantly received monetary help from his friends. However, he decided to take advantage of their kindness by ordering an extravagant meal for himself one night at a group dinner.
When one of them called him out, he instead tried to turn the tables, which ultimately strained their friendship.
Money shouldn’t ruin friendships, but it, unfortunately, happens
Image credits: baffos / Envato (not the actual photo)
It happened to this close friend group because of one of their pals, who had been struggling financially
Image credits: GroundPicture / Envato (not the actual photo)
An incident during a group dinner one night ultimately strained their relationship
Image credits: ToughSalad4906
Lending money can easily cause resentment among friends
As much as you want to help out a friend who is in dire financial straits, many experts would advise you to think things through. As psychologist and My Thriving Mind lead content creator, Veronica West tells Brit + Co, lending money is almost always a guarantee to lead to resentment among friends.
“Money is a sneaky little devil who can push everyone’s buttons,” West said, adding that a “casual loan” can easily turn into an “epic saga of unpaid IOUs.”
Finance expert Tori Dunlap notes that bitterness may arise if one person in a friend group consistently pays the bills. Meanwhile, the other person may feel uncomfortable and indebted for being a liability.
“Money can also become a tool for power imbalances,” Dunlap adds, stating that one person’s perceived control over the friend who took a loan from them can “mess with trust and respect.”
This isn’t to say that friends should avoid money talk altogether. Counselor Simone Bose considers having such conversations as a way of showing vulnerability, which ultimately deepens the relationship.
However, we all know how broken trust can make any relationship difficult to mend. As Dunlap says, making money a primary factor in a relationship can overshadow the connection.
“You can avoid this by having open conversations with friends and family about your financial situation,” she adds, emphasizing that clear communication keeps the focus on the relationship, not the money situation.
Unfortunately, the author had the tables turned on her after doing Jake a favor. It should serve as a harsh and costly lesson on mixing money and friendship.
Many people sided with the author and had some choice words for Jake
However, some criticized the woman for “penny pinching”
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