Recap – Modern Family 1.14 “Moon Landing”

Back at the Dunphy residence, Alex and Luke have secured a new box of bottles. As Phil is running out the door to use the port-a-john, Alex asks what Jagermeister is. Phil (still clad in his awesome ‘stache), likens it to fairy tales, where there is a potion that makes the princess fall asleep and the boys start kissing her. It’s like that, “except you don’t wake up in a castle. You wake up in a frat house with a bad reputation.” His good parenting lesson given, Phil makes a beeline for the port-a-john. When he closes the door, Dylan drives up and parks his car right next to the john. Dylan’s there to win back Haley, but has inadvertently locked Phil inside. While unloading the bottles, Luke accidentally spills some leftover alcohol all over himself and the rug. Alex, meanwhile, spots a rat climbing out of the bottle box! After Haley slams the front door in Dylan’s face (“You have something that belongs to me. My heart!” Dylan protests), Dylan goes up to Haley’s bedroom and yells his love to her through the door. Haley doesn’t want to hear it; Dylan took that skank Sherri Nicolini to an Anne Hathaway movie! No, no. She has it all wrong. Sherri was just at the movies too. He ran into her there. “You went alone to an Anne Hathaway movie?” Haley incredulously asks. “Yes. She’s every-woman….Let’s talk about this like unimmature adults,” Dylan pleads. Chaos has consumed the Dunphy home, but Phil, locked in the john (and more concerned with his real estate deal), is none the wiser.

While Mitchell finally reveals to Gloria that he thinks she was responsible for he accident (of course he blames the Latino driver. Everyone in her country blames the Latino driver. “Isn’t everyone in your country a Latino driver?” Mitchell wonders), Claire arrives at home, with Valerie, to Haley throwing Dylan’s things out her window. ” You’re tearing out my heart….I love your ass!” Dylan shouts as the women make their way inside. The house is usually not like this, Claire explains, nor does it usually smell of alcohol. They find Luke in the kitchen with an empty bottle of Jager (it makes girls easier to kiss, you know) in nothing but his underwear. When Claire asks why there’s a stain on the rug, Luke tells her, “I had an accident.” Alex, meanwhile, is chasing the rat with a broom. Claire moves to escort Valerie out of the house and finds Haley and Dylan making out on the stairs, and planning their elopement. Claire finally gets Valerie back to her car when she notices her husband locked in the port-a-john. “What is that on your face?!” With the whole family back inside, Claire rips into them. Just one time she wants to impress someone with her family, and she comes home to “booze drenched hill people.” “Can I say something?” Phil asks. “No! No you can’t, Mario!” (let me interject here. It could be all of the Marios Bros. Wii I’ve been playing, but I laughed so hard and loud at this, my wife jumped off the couch.) Claire storms out, and, ashamed, Phil rips off the mustache, followed by a delayed, “Owwwwwwwwwwwww!”

Jay’s fortunes reverse, and he defeats Cameron in the racquetball rematch. In the locker room, Jay gloats about his victory. When he accidentally bumps butts again, with whom he assumes is Cameron but is really a now-freaked out third party, he is unfazed. He’s so unfazed he bumps the guy’s butt (and back!) three more times. Cameron pokes his head out from around the corner and asks how much hurry they are in because he’d like to hit the sauna. Realizing his Moon Landing wasn’t with Cameron, Jay responds while furiously gathering his things, “The biggest hurry of your life.”

Having been told to walk home by Gloria, Manny remarks to Mitchell, “If we’re going to be stranded, it may as well be in a place full of cupcakes.” As Mitchell tries to prevent his step-brother’s development of diabetes by taking away Manny’s cupcake, Gloria returns and apologizes. She just doesn’t like people assuming she’s a bad driver. As they leave the cafe, Gloria explains that she actually still needs Mitchell. There is no need to ask why when Mitchell sees Gloria has plowed her car through the cafe’s tables and has the large cupcake sign on the windshield.

“Mom is crazy,” Haley remarks. Don’t worry, she’s probably just taking a peaceful walk in the park to collect herself, Phil reassures his children. In reality, Claire is at a burger joint gorging herself on some good Grade D beef. As she squirts herself opening a ketchup packet, Claire explains that what she really wants is to be with her family, not alone at the burger place. But how can she apologize to people she just belittled? When she returns home, she realizes she doesn’t have to apologize. Her family doesn’t make her pay for her tantrum. “Why didn’t Valerie see them like that?!?”

The episode’s tag had Dylan, clad in a khaki trenchcoat, standing outside the Dunphy house holding aloft his iPod. Phil comes outside to collect the newspaper, and upon Phil’s inquiry, Dylan informs him that he and Haley got into another fight. “Oh, Say Anything,” Phil says. “Good morning,” replies Dylan. “No, Say Anything.” “Newspaper.” “No, Dylan, Say Anything. Clutch movie.” “Clutch movie.” Phil just shakes his head and goes back inside the house.

Commentary

Although only two of the four plots made me really laugh (Dunphy home and Jay/Cameron. Not so much Mitchell/Gloria. Definitely not Claire/Valerie), I loved this episode more than I have any other episode in a while. I laughed very heartily at the silliness of Phil’s mustache, the Dunphy kids and the whole Moon Landing scenario. These scenes made up for the unevenness of the other two plots. There were some funny moments in the Gloria story (mostly by Manny, of course), but Gloria’s bad driving was just mildly interesting to me. Completely not interesting to me, however, was Valerie. I think the problem was the fact they cast Minnie Driver. It’s not that she did anything particularly wrong, but putting a name actress in the role really hypes up that plot line. The casting shines a huge spotlight on it, so it better be really funny. I just didn’t think it was very funny, especially in comparison to what was going on elsewhere in the episode. Perhaps a lesser name (like Kristen Schaal’s appearance in the last episode, “Fifteen Percent.”) would have allowed the plot to breathe better. As I said, for me, all of this was compensated for by the other stories. I mean, if we have learned anything this TV season, it’s that mustaches are comedy gold (see: Swanson, Ron). Once I saw Phil in that ridiculous thing, they had me. Add in some more great work by the kids on the show, and I had one of my most enjoyable Modern Family experiences in weeks.

OK, that’s it folks. Please leave any comments, thoughts or questions below. Also, make sure you check out photos and sneak peeks for next week’s episode, “My Funky Valentine.” I really hope this title somehow involves Phil dancing or playing the saxophone. Lastly, check out the TVOvermindhome page for all of your TV needs. Until next week, I’m off to play some Rick Astley.