Most of us are used to reading job descriptions, but they’re usually written by companies hoping to attract new talent. You’ll find out all about how exciting and innovative their fast-paced work environment is, while trying to decipher what exactly they mean when boasting about the competitive benefits and salary that they have to offer.
But the way that you would describe your own job is likely quite different from how the company would advertise it on LinkedIn. In fact, you might even choose to explain it in the worst way possible. TikTok users have recently been sharing absolutely awful yet hilarious descriptions of what they do for a living, so we’ve gathered the most brilliant ones below. Enjoy scrolling through and trying to guess which careers these replies are referring to, and be sure to upvote the ones that you find surprisingly accurate!
#1
Fire start, I go splish splash, firen’t.
Image source: manybears23, Matt C / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#2
Tree grow. I give hair cut, tree happy!
Image source: just_a_girl_dad, Ales Krivec / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#3
I talk, kids stare, I talk again, bell ring.
Image source: sydhzamri, Andrej Lišakov / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#4
I get trained, I want fight other country, I come back and wife cheated.
Image source: lucas.l016, Andrej Lišakov / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#5
Car go kaput, make car go vroom again.
Image source: poyrazbuyukyildirim, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#6
Customer angry, call me, customer angrier.
Image source: kaizen1113, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#7
Ppl sad, ppl pay me, ppl still sad but understand why.
Image source: armorial_colour5, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#8
People no English, me suffer, now people English.
Image source: joseluisflorentin97, Daniel Martinez / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#9
They come, cry about boyfriend, leave with pretty nails.
Image source: erkyperk, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#10
Ppl want sticker, I put permanent sticker on them :)
Image source: b**chinblack, Andrej Lišakov / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#11
I get verbally and physically bullied by people 1/3 of my size.
Image source: danni_doesmakeup, Andrej Lišakov / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#12
People yell at me, I give burger.
Image source: okay967, Eduardo Ramos / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#13
I spend hours making edible architecture that people stare at for five minutes, photograph from every angle, then brutally stab with a knife.
Image source: niamh.gty, American Heritage Chocolate / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#14
I’m a nanny for a fully grown executive.
Image source: loveleah283, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#15
Person not have product, I manipulate person, person have product.
Image source: jossa.04, Ahmet Kurt / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#16
Person hungry. Food on dough. Mamma Mia. Person not hungry.
Image source: literally_travis_phelps, Benu Marinescu / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#17
Person 1 no Spanish, person 2 no English, me English and Spanish.
Image source: a.f.v.917, A. C. / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#18
Person sick, I tell them what eat. Person less sick if they listen. Person never listen.
Image source: uberrandre, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#19
Person bad. Person pay me. I lie and fight for person. Person bad but free.
Image source: notferiturriagai, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#20
I tell people have you tried turning it off and on again.
Image source: faisal.ai, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#21
I play real-life LEGO, but it’s heavy, costs millions, and people yell if it falls over.
Image source: tt_ryzer, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#22
The worse I treat people the more they pay me 😂.
Image source: lucyfer_the_devil, Alexander Mils / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#23
I call. You ask if I’m selling smth. I say nuh uh but I actually am. You call me scammer and hang up 💀.
Image source: us3rnonam3
#24
I send emails about meetings and book meetings about emails.
Image source: krystalmariex, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#25
1.people yell at me
2. I yell at kitchen
3. I fake smile at you.
Image source: trweblue
#26
I yap. Tiny humans write what I say. Every few months I ask tiny humans what I said. If they remember, then they get to leave in a few years.
Image source: catmom_zu
#27
People naughty, put Ankle bracelet on, I watch on computer.
Image source: daddy_on_of, sarah b / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#28
I tell computers what to do and sometimes it works.
Image source: iambatman261, Christina @ wocintechchat / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#29
You did bad, I stare, you confess.
Image source: kobizxd, maxim bober / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#30
People watch me, I go “to be or not to be”, people clap.
Image source: swedzghoul_crochet, Curated Lifestyle / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#31
Baby ask “mama?”, I say “mama work”, baby cry, we do craft, we sing, we read.
Image source: silvergoldcopper
#32
When the grim reaper says yes, I say no.
Image source: dr_ren, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#33
People sad. I make drink. People no sad.
Image source: user0062378418, Ramsés Cervantes / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#34
Airplane not feeling good, sees me. Airplane feels good.
Image source: fmazzaferro_
#35
Person no swim, I help, person now swim.
Image source: issam.1233
#36
People pay me to listen to them gossip about other people but I can’t tell anyone.
Image source: keightybeedub
#37
No electricity, me arrive, electricity.
Image source: maack1097
#38
Person no sing, I say raise your yayaya, person now sings.
Image source: ximenishigam
#39
When yall parents get old, I go and learn their schedule for them.
Image source: frecklejw
#40
Meemaw sick, me take care of meemaw, meemaw sickn’t.
Image source: thatstupidfella
#41
I’m a human mechanic.
Image source: k3ster_
#42
-you ill
-i give pills
-you not ill.
Image source: nabil.charfi
#43
Scroll, double tap, scroll, double tap.
Image source: grapes5679
#44
People don’t pay, I say hey, pay.
Image source: that.lenggirl
#45
People want house. I design house. Boss yell at me. I cry in the corner.
Image source: michael200404
#46
Did you try putting it in rice?
Image source: deedeeplaytooomuch
#47
You do illegal thing? Pay me. I say Nuh uh not true.
Image source: ilove2eatpum
#48
Pc break? call me. pc breakn’t
Image source: poefiess
#49
People come, people gossip, people leave with new hair.
Image source: bettyboo1840
#50
I argue so you don’t have to. Even if you’re wrong.
Image source: don.minaro._
#51
Live-in therapist, chef, cleaner, hostage negotiator. Same two clients. No sleep.
Image source: lysh1804
#52
I mix sugar, flour, and unrealistic Pinterest expectations – so people can destroy it in 5 minutes.
Image source: lena.mariexo
#53
People has problem, i ask chat gpt, people happy.
Image source: zuyijhontorres, LinkedIn Sales Solutions / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#54
Overworked and underpaid.
Image source: omgitsrejoice
#55
You no like skin? I care, you like skin now.
Image source: tat4lx
#56
I draw picture, I put picture in book. parents buy book for kid.
Image source: artyhamsterbiscuit
#57
People bring things, i beep beep, they give money.
Image source: mardenique420
#58
I convince people to spend thousands of dollars to temporarily run away from their lives.
Image source: ally.goodlet
#59
Stare at computer, punch numbers in calculator, cry, do all over again.
Image source: poppykinsmoma
#60
I manage small humans doing basic tasks in a loud room while following rules, cleaning stuff, and writing things down. Documentation is frequent. Noise levels fluctuate. Stickers are distributed. Sometimes there’s glue.
Image source: groomps
#61
I work 48 hours a week just so people can say “yeah I think AI does that” 😂.
Image source: camilaguirre1
#62
I dig hole. I cut pipe. House has No more water, I fix pipe. House have water now. Person complain.
Image source: chinky___z
#63
Ppl enter big tube, I take care of you, ppl exit tube in new location.
Image source: rainsicle
#64
Snoop around in the company. No one likes me there 😭😭.
Image source: sue_vide
#65
You put numbers on a paper, you ask me if it’s good, I say you’re wrong and you scream at me until you realise I’m right.
Image source: chloelelievre0
#66
I talk to myself.
Image source: tomsyndicate
#67
Want coffee? give coffee.
Image source: tomass_manuel
#68
Plane go up, coffee? plane go down.
Image source: ture_13
#69
Ppl no French, I oui oui, they Oh La La.
Image source: emilie_colette
#70
Sausage roll and steak bake giver.
Image source: largecarrotstick
#71
Hospital Uber driver.
Image source: nickeys_
#72
Person run on side of pool, me: WALK.
Image source: leanne_giguere18
#73
Ppl get baby, ppl no want baby, ppl come to me, no more baby.
Image source: iam.trudyann305
#74
I draw house, engineer cry at drawing, house gets made anyway.
Image source: amaskednobody
#75
I show up, room dirty, room not dirty, I leave.
Image source: slewis1231
#76
I jobn’t.
Image source: matijapetkovic
#77
Ppl yelling at me, I cant yell back, ppl curse me, I can’t curse back.
Image source: mar_iam030
#78
Pretend stuff. Say lines. Fake cry.
Image source: takemyhanddoyourfantasy
#79
Kid no read, kid read to me, kid happy to read. kid need medicine, I walk with kid, get medicine. kid no maths good, I show maths easy, kid do maths gooder.
Image source: imrunningerrands
#80
People speak English, I say the same in Spanish. People speak Spanish, I say the same in English.
Image source: sanvac
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