A lot of things are fluid in our lives, forms of relationships included. Even romantic ones, that tend to be viewed through the monogamous lens, can actually take many forms. For example, polyamory – a practice of having multiple partners.
That’s what the parents of today’s OP practice. Yet, the thing is that while for them it seems like rainbows and butterflies, it has rather negatively impacted their kid. And so, after many years of suppressed feelings, they decided to let it all out.
More info: Reddit
Polyamory, a practice of having multiple partners, isn’t as uncommon as you might think
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Here, the parents of today’s OP were polyamorous
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
When the OP learned about it, they weren’t phased by it that much; it seemed OK for them
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Yet, with the years, they started to notice that parents pay more attention to their partners instead of their kid
Image credits: prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
This became especially apparent when they started therapy after growing up
Image credits: anonymous
And so, one day, they decided to tell their parents how they felt about their polyamory, which caused a kind of falling out between them
When the OP was around 6 years old, their parents started bringing over their “friends.” At first, the kid didn’t know that these friends were more than that – polyamorous partners. Until one day, they saw their parents making out with them. Folks explained to the child that it’s just the way they love and that’s completely normal.
With time, parents stopped being so secretive about their partners and started to bring them along to events, like the post’s author’s 10th birthday. The fact that they brought them along wasn’t that bad, but it was the fact that the parents paid most of the attention to said partners, even though it was something as significant as their kid’s birthday.
They never did anything explicit, but just the partners taking a center stage in the parents’ lives took a toll on the kid. This became especially apparent when the OP started therapy. It helped them see that while their parents were good to them, they were also rather distant, which caused feelings of resentment.
Then, one day, their parents asked them to take part in a documentary about polyamorous families and speak about how polyamory “doesn’t mess kids up.” But how can they speak on it, when it’s not how they feel? So, the author told the folks they won’t do that and told them everything that was on their heart regarding this topic, which took them by surprise.
Well, if the unhappiness has never been communicated up to this point, it’s not that shocking that they might not have expected it. Plus, it’s not like it’s given that every kid of polyamorous parents had a bad childhood.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
In fact, some studies show that quite many of them tend to have a good one, and that they find benefits in parents having more partners. For example, children get more attention, time, and care from adults.
They can get more gifts at special events and be exposed to a greater number of positive role models. If the children of parents’ partners are in the picture, they can get involved and create some sort of family ties, kind of a siblingship, or at least a friendship.
At the same time, some children, just like the OP, might not be as satisfied with their parents’ partners. Especially if they live under the same roof, there could be tension, most often with teenagers, due to a lack of privacy in the home, jealousy between children, and different parenting styles.
Overall, it all comes down to each set of parents and how they deal with it – some slay the “assignment”, while others, like the ones in the story, aren’t as successful and end up disappointing their younglings.
That’s why netizens told the original poster that they weren’t in the wrong to let their parents know about the mess their relationship caused. After all, their feelings are valid and shouldn’t be hidden.
What do you think, was the OP right or wrong to act this way? Please explain your opinion in the comments.
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