Halloween might be over but it seems the skeletons aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. They’re all creeping out of the closet, as people dust off their deep, dark family secrets and share them in all their shameless glory.
Someone recently asked, “What family secret or hidden backstory were you finally let in on when you were old enough?” And the internet went wild. The post clocked over 1,600 comments, and some very curious onlookers. From affairs that helped avoid “inbreeding”, grandfathers giving women the “heavy breath treatment”, and some serious criminal activity, people did not holding back.
Grab the popcorn and keep scrolling for an inquisitive look into the lives of those who had big things to hide. Upvote your favorites, and feel free to share some of your own dirty little secrets in the comments below. Don’t miss the chat Bored Panda had with Clémence Scouten, an expert when it comes to sharing family secrets. Scouten is the founder of Memoirs & More, a boutique personal history firm that helps people tell their stories and leave a legacy.
#1
My father’s side of the family had “the help” all the way up until the 70s or so.
Their family employed a black woman who resided in a separate part of the home, did almost all the cooking, cleaning, babysat my father and his siblings, etc.
But she was not permitted to eat at the same time as my father’s family – to say the least. There was an extremely small room off the kitchen she was allowed to eat in by herself after the family had finished their meal.
With that said – after my grandparents passed away, my father allocated a portion of his inheritance to her so she would no longer have to work. It wasn’t living lavishly or anything – but it was enough to get by. He also insisted absolutely that she be included on family events like holidays and birthdays, because she was also family. I grew up viewing her as like a great aunt.
Image source: ASemiAquaticBird, AnnaStills
#2
My grandmother left my granddad and she got pregnant. Her lover dumped her.
My grandfather took her back along with the baby. They had two kids together after that.
He always treated her son the same as their two kids.
I didn’t learn any of this until my 50s.
Image source: SultanOfSwave, Leah Newhouse
#3
My great grand dad was adopted by a mixed race baptist deacon who was also local postmaster. Significant because we took his name. Doubly hilarious because most of the older part of the family was super racist while carrying that dude’s name. When I found his death certificate, with the proof, my dad lost his mind. My aunts lost they minds. I was chuckling way under my breath.
Image source: MaoTseTrump, Yohan Marion
#4
My father came home from school one day when he was 12 years old and saw his mother being taken away in an ambulance and she passed that day. He never told us why or how. A few years ago I saw her death certificate and the cause was “self induced abortion.”.
Image source: GirlOnACliff, Aidan Tottori
#5
My father’s childhood. His mother was apparently hanging around sailors a lot, he didnt know his father, she sounds like a prostitute. He would sleep in a bed with his siblings, one day they woke up and the baby was dead.
His life was turned around when his grandmother, a force to be reckoned with, found out what was going on and took him away to live with her. He got a loving home, a good education and a start in his chosen career.
Image source: swomismybitch
#6
I thought my Dad died of natural heart related problems over 13 years ago. I was 19. I’m 32 now and I just found out about a month ago his death was a intentional s****de by pills and alcohol, and they just didn’t wanna tell me.
Weird side note: his funeral wishes were NOT respected. His mother, my grandma, pushed for a very catholic service and burial. My dad was atheist and always very clear he did not want a traditional religious funeral, he wanted to be cremated. He often made fun of religion and kept a flying spaghetti monster magnet on his fridge.. It has always just really bothered me someone’s final wishes can be so ignored, even by loved ones.
Image source: LoocsinatasYT, Kevin Bidwell
#7
My great grandpa was gay. His “best friend” was his lover. One day my great grandpa was supposed to be watching my mom because my grandma and great grandma were out doing something. They came home earlier than expected and found my grandpa and his “bestie” getting it on (my mom was in a separate room or something, she had no idea what was going on). All hell broke loose in my family and my great grandpa had to stop seeing his “friend”, though it’s suspected they still saw each other in secret. That unfortunately explained why my grandma is so homophobic. My mom told me this story after I came out to her. She was super supportive and not surprised at all, but she begged me not to tell my grandma.
Image source: OptimalOcto485, Stanley Dai
#8
My grandpa was a residential school survivor, I had no idea most of my childhood.
Image source: Some-Butterfly1487
#9
I grew up Mennonite. My mother had at least 4 children by other men so there would be less inbreeding. I was 1 of them.
Image source: BigBitchinCharge, Randy Fath
#10
When I was 26 my grandfather had a heart attack and passed away a few hours later without waking up. In all the family drama it came out that he wasn’t my blood grandfather. He adopted my mother and aunt when they were very young after he got back from Korea.
It never changed how I felt about him…he was my grandfather and a few cells doesn’t change the fact that he loved me and I loved him. It’s been just as long without him as with him and I still miss him and hope to one day be half as good as him.
Image source: BlueFalconPunch, Mike Bird
#11
I have a niece I didn’t know about until I was middle aged. My oldest sister left home early while I was an oblivious child; turned out, she’d gotten pregnant as a young teen and went to live with our grandmother to gestate, give birth, and give the baby up for adoption.
For decades I never knew, until my sister called during my divorce years later and commented that she knew what it was like to have your life upended because of her daughter. *What.*
She’d never had any other kids so I realized I was reeeeeaaally missing something!
Turned out she thought Mom had eventually told me once I was an adult, and Mom thought she had eventually told me, so they both assumed I knew when I had no idea.
A few years later her daughter finally reached out from the info on file at the agency so now she’s part of the extended family and my sister is “bonus mom”. They’re both lucky the reunion went well!
Image source: quats555, Leah Newhouse
#12
When I was a kid, I went to this science day camp for a few weeks. We did different things with a few teachers and volunteers, but there was one teacher’s assistant who really stuck out to me. We hit it off immediately, and had a blast together every day. During pick-up time, the teacher joked to my dad about how her TA and I acted like siblings. I remember my dad being really spacey for the rest of the day, even the week after that.
Turns out, the TA and I actually ARE half-siblings, with the same father. My (our?) dad sat me down a few years later and explained that when he was 18-19, he accidentally got his girlfriend pregnant. Both of them were devout Catholics, so she carried the child to term, and abandoned her daughter afterwards. With no other options, he gave his daughter up for adoption.
I haven’t seen my sister since. Part of me wants to reach out because I have that information, but I’m also a bit nervous, since we’re both adults with our own sovereign lives now. Not to mention the ~16 year age gap.
Image source: placeholderNull, Vlad Bagacian
#13
I wasn’t so much let in on it as I discovered it.
My grandmother died when I was about 8 from lung cancer. I was at her bedside the day she died and I remember her being bruised all over her face and arms. Years later as an adult that fact never sat right with me so I got a hold of her medical records. It turned out she had been mugged leaving the bank and was basically beaten to death by some guys for resisting.
I do understand why my family covered that up.
Image source: Any-External-6221, Museums Victoria
#14
My uncle didn’t die in a car accident. He killed his mistress and then killed himself by crashing his car with her body in the trunk.
Image source: CosmicCuppcake
#15
My great-grandfather drank himself to death. My grandmother was ashamed of where she lived. He was the town drunk that spent most weekends in jail. She often had to carry him inside before school because he was passed out on the lawn. They finally told me all of this when I started drinking a handle a day.
Image source: ratraceinsurgent, cottonbro studio
#16
Just your standard 23andMe discovery of my real father at 49. The weirdest part is going from an “only” child to part of a giant family.
Image source: stuck_behind_a_truck, LadyGethzerion
#17
My much older cousin, new mother, killed herself in my mother’s bedroom at a family reunion party. Had my mother not said “don’t take the baby for a nap with you, he’s not tired” and kept him downstairs, it is likely she would have killed him too.
Image source: brydye456, Gerritt Tisdale
#18
My mother had another family while I was 4 years old, my father did the exact same thing 2 years later. That’s why I was left with my grandparents, and all they told me was my parents were working abroad.
Image source: BlueEyedKittenMeow, Alena Darmel
#19
This was in rural Canada in the 1930s. My relative had a girlfriend named Dulcie and he was slow to propose. Since nobody locked their door then she let herself in while he was out one night, pulled up the shades, took her clothes off, turned the lights on, and let the neighbors see her walking around his house naked. After that he was forced to marry her.
And that is why nobody in the family liked Dulcie.
Image source: Grace_DanielsWebster, Daniel Moises Magulado
#20
My grandpa used to call womem he knew from his church and give them the “heavy breath” treatment.
He and my Nan were quietly asked to leave town before the police were involved.
Before I found out I did wonder why they sold their house so cheap and moved towns at 60 years old.
Image source: paristexashilton, Amar Thool
#21
My grandpa sat us all down in the living room one day and let it out. We weren’t completely polish but Spanish. Only problem was he was the only one who cared anymore. Was completely disappointed.
Image source: cottonole, Pixabay
#22
My great-great grandpa shot his wife and her lover. She was injured and the lover died. He got away with it. The newspaper said it was justifiable homicide because she shouldn’t have been cheating on him.
Same guy rented out his still to Al Capone during prohibition to make moonshine. Cops busted up the sill, he got arrested. All of this confirmed by a newspaper article. He kept his mouth shut about who rented it. The mob paid him off well for doing so.
Image source: Solid-Question-3952, cottonbro studio
#23
My stepfather did not die of a heart attack; he died from a failed attempt at autoerotic asphyxiation.
Image source: square_donut14, RDNE Stock project
#24
My great uncle’s career was home robbery. His specialty was getting in second story windows by climbing on things below so his nickname was Porch.
Image source: txbabs, Maxim Hopman
#25
A lot less dramatic than most of the others, but it surprised me….
When I was five or so, my parents told me they had to fire my favorite babysitter because she stole money from my dad. When I was a teenager, my mom told me that it wasn’t money the babysitter stole, it was weed.
Image source: TriTri14, Lina Kivaka
#26
My paternal grandmothers last words to my father were “There’s a big family secret about you…” And then, she was gone. So that one is lost probably forever.
Image source: Durakan, Ksenia Chernaya
#27
Some member of my extended family(20++ members) were executed in my parent home country for violated some laws, also we’re are to never go back there in fear of being executed as well.
Image source: Typical_Leg1672, Tima Miroshnichenko
#28
Ohhh a juicy one! As I got older I heard about a cousin nearly marrying another, unknown cousin at the time. They were engaged! Apparently His Dad had stepped out quite frequently in the 60’s and the result was questioning any relationship he got into from our shared race and community. More personal to me was that my father, peach that he was, managed to sleep with my mother’s twin within a year of them being married. Apparently this came out in their 50’s so surprise everyone!
A sad one I learned on a road trip in my tweens. My Mom and I were traveling, just chatting and I start asking her about my cousin who I’m named after. I have old parents, my mom was 40 when she had me. This cousin, who’s funeral I attended at the ripe old age of 5 was in his mid 20’s. Amazing musician I’m told. Had a lot of mental health worries his whole life and didn’t really seek treatment until the late 70’s. Big stigma, hush, hush you’ll be fine. Called his parents absolutely shattered one night and said the following words “I’m so tired, I have Dad’s revolver. Please talk me out of this”. They didn’t call him back until it was far too late.
Image source: Mike7676, TranStudios Photography & Video
#29
I found out that my grandmother is actually my step-grandmother and my biological grandmother died a few years ago because of substance abuse.
I also found out, on the other side of my family, my grandad (who I’ve always been very fond of) was an alcoholic and quite abusive.
Basically found out why neither of my parents drink.
Image source: themagicfroggie, William Krause
#30
My great aunts were almost certainly an incestuous secret lesbian couple. They lived together their entire lives except for like a year when one of them got married. During that time they completely cut contact. After the divorce, they lived together until the day one of them died.
They were caught doing….things together as young teenagers. We’re pretty sure that never stopped. They never showed any real interest in boys. Even when one got married for that year people thought there was nothing there between them.
Image source: esoteric_enigma
#31
1) When I was 13 my dad told me that he’d had a child with his first wife, but my half-brother drowned in a swimming pool when he was 3. Only time I ever saw my dad cry.
2) I have an uncle who retired and dropped out of most contact with the family about 25 years ago. When I was in my 20s, my mom told me she keeps one eye open with my uncle (my dad’s older brother) and that she knows something having to do with him and my little brother that if my dad knew about it, he would get on a plane, fly halfway across the country, and murder him on the spot. She passed away before I could ask her more about that, but the implication has haunted me for years.
Image source: A_Refill_of_Mr_Pibb, Markus Spiske
#32
My father’s ex-wife passed away by s****de after learning that he had started a new relationship with another woman, my mother. By this time, they had already been separated.
Image source: Gold_Bluebird2256, Brett Sayles
#33
The first secret was that I had a cousin who was adopted out. A few years after that, while drunk, my aunt confided in me the reason she’d adopted out her daughter and swore me to secrecy. The father of the child was her first cousin.
Image source: AriasK, Joshua Reddekopp
#34
The number of illegitimate kids fathered by my dad and his brothers. They all had at least one, I met a first cousin no one knew about through a DNA testing site.
Image source: celebratetheugly
#35
Dad died blowing c**e, not a virus that attacked his heart.
Best part was my dad’s oldest brother was just candidly talking to me about the whole day. How he misses my dad and all this and that.
“We were talking about getting clean for the kids and wives and this quarter bag was the last go around but it did us in.”
Oh, my pops?
“Yeah, oh you don’t know? Your mom didn’t tell? She was very much into that lifestyle with your dad as well.”
“No….” she never told me my dad died snorting c*****e with his older brother, let alone the very last time before his demise. Also that she does that with them as well. She spared me of the details.
My mother was absolutely horrified to know they told me at 15 years old. 6 years after his death. Also that she used with my dad.
I didn’t know any of this and it damaged my relationship with my mom. It took a long time to work trust back from all that. Purely because of the way it floated to me. It really hurt my mom. My uncle absolutely sent her to orbit over this, with a fallout that hasn’t been repaired to this day 18 years later.
Some family just never break that cycle and cause misery for others.
Image source: Joshman1231
#36
One of my cousins had a baby when she was 17. My aunt and uncle sent her out of state to a hospital where she gave him up for adoption. Years later, after he would have turned 18, my uncle started looking and finally found him years later. He was doing well, had a family of his own. My uncle didn’t contact him and only told my aunt and my mom that the boy was fine. They decided that my cousin did not need to know where he was, and she died not knowing what had become of him.
I have no idea if any of her siblings ever knew she had given up a child in her youth. If they did, they never said anything.
The only reason I know is when I was going over my mom’s will, I noticed she had this cousin listed to be my guardian if anything happened to her before I turned 18. I asked her why that cousin and that’s when the story came out.
Image source: Head_Razzmatazz7174
#37
I didn’t realize that my mom wasn’t ever married to my father, when she had my sister and I.
I knew he had another family — a wife and kids. I guess my kid mind just never thought too deep about it, and figured at some point years ago, him and my mom were officially together. But they never were. She told me over the phone, in my junior year of college.
It’s so weird the way the universe works sometimes — to know that if my mom hadn’t made an immoral choice (having a years-old relationship with a married man) — and if he hadn’t made an immoral choice (to cheat on his wife) — that neither me or my sister would exist. That their two wrongs brought us to life.
Image source: Ordinary_Ice_796
#38
My grandma was single in her 30s and sleeping with a married man. She ended up getting pregnant, and towards the end of her pregnancy met my (step)grandpa. They got married and put his name on the birth certificate, and my aunt has always believed he is her biological dad. Still to this day does (she’s 50), while literally every other person in the family knows the truth. My mom has like 10 siblings, so the shear number of people who know the truth and have managed to never tell her is quite impressive.
I’ve known since I was like 8. Not sure why they trusted a child with that secret, but I never told.
Image source: Charming_Lemon8020
#39
That my grandparents had gotten a divorce, married other people and divorced them, then got back together and had another child, but never got remarried. I was scandalized, was told this in the early 1980’s…things were still different then.
Image source: clubJenn, cottonbro studio
#40
Did not find out that my parents date of marriage was wrong until mom died (saw on death certificate). Turns out they married on one date. Were notified three days later the JP’s license had expired. They had to borrow money from my uncle to get re-married. Mom was so horrified she swore dad and my uncle to silence. This was back in the early 1950s.
Image source: Shoddy-Reception2823
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