Parties often have a lot of unwritten rules about how you should behave. Depending on your local culture and relationship dynamics, you might be expected to be fashionably late or bring the host a gift. But something that is in a bit of a grey area is knowing when to leave. Very few hosts are willing to outright tell you ‘get off my couch, leave, I’m sleepy.’
The ever-helpful r/AskReddit community shared some of the (not so) subtle signs that it’s probably time for you to thank your host, grab your things, and head home. ASAP! Scroll down for their useful tips, and be sure to upvote the ones that you personally found the most helpful.
#1
If the host starts cleaning up instead of socializing, it’s either time to help or time to leave.
Image source: scienceforbid, maundytime
#2
Host puts their hands on their knees, stands up and says “well, it’s getting late”.
Image source: xrc20, Kelsey Chance
#3
If someone shows off or flashes a weapon of any kind. Gun, knife, taser, whatever. Just go. It always ends badly and bystanders get hurt all too often.
Image source: magicpwny, Hadi Ul hassan
#4
In your teens: any vomiting.
In your 20s: it’s just you and the host’s closest friends, and everyone left there is a closer friend than you.
In your 30s: the babysitter needs to get home.
In your 40s: no one needs encouragement. Our pajamas start calling us immediately after dinner.
Image source: No_Consequence_6821
#5
A group of males that no one really knows show up.
Image source: groundsgonesour, Jack Sharp
#6
When the hosts yawn, leave.
If the hosts don’t yawn, leave by the time half the guest have.
Don’t stay until the end unless it’s your best friend.
Image source: LAC_NOS, Elias Ficavontade
#7
Some cultures, they put out a bowl/display of fruit as a last bite of food before you go. Some folks call it “FOF” (F*&$ Off Fruit) haha.
Image source: awkwardly_competent, Brenda Godinez
#8
In Syria, social visits begin with juice. Then sweets. Then at last, after a nice visit, Turkish coffee with cardamom. When the coffee comes out, you know to sip and split.
In Yemen, coffee is served first. This resulted in a bit of an awkward visit once when my Yemeni friends invited new Syrian acquaintances over to visit….
Image source: PrairieHeartInHijab
#9
At my friend’s birthday party he stood up, turned off the music, thanked everyone for coming and said, “you don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here “. I think it’s from a song but I’d never heard it and I thought it was great.
Image source: Taffergirl2021
#10
When the dog get nervous.
Image source: Healthy-Brilliant549, Pasqualino Capobianco
#11
If there’s two or more guys being loud and one of them suddenly takes his shirt off, you have somewhere between 1 second and 1 minute to skedaddle before the fight starts.
Image source: I_am_Warthog, Alex Sheldon
#12
When I slap both knees and say “Welp”.
Image source: BigCopperPipe
#13
When you hear the second thing break. Usually something glass. Once is an accident, twice is people are getting to the clumsy falling down stage of drunk or stoned, the fights come next. Time to call an uber.
Image source: wwaxwork, Lara Wehbe
#14
In my experience, when someone shares a Youtube video they’re excited about.
The video is fine, but it inevitably leads to “Oh, that reminds me of one I saw!” leading to an unending chain of people sharing videos, most of the group bored at any given one.
The party is over, now its just people watching Youtube. Bail.
Image source: niveknhoj, Alex Suprun
#15
When the party is growing and people who weren’t originally invited start showing up. Leave. The party is NOT going to get better. .
Image source: DaBigadeeBoola, cottonbro studio
#16
There are people starting to trash the place.
Image source: Cheezel62, Tobias Tullius
#17
When that one girl starts drunk-crying and making a scene for nothing
Edit: Since everyone is sharing stories; I used to work in hotels and we would often have parties at someone’s house after shifts. There was one girl in particular who was sweet as pie and super shy when sober, but when drunk, she turned into an absolute mess. After she got drunk, started crying and then locked herself in the bathroom for multiple hours, **two parties in a row**, we stopped inviting her.
Image source: DigOnMaNuss, RDNE Stock project
#18
When you are ravenously hungry
When the birds start waking up
When folks begin playing quarters for shots of Evan Williams
When the inappropriate peeing starts – be it accidental, on themselves, on others; on you, on anyone really, without permission; for attention; etc.
Same thing for pooping
When talk of calling the cops is overheard
When you cannot locate a reliably sealed, unused, brand name, condom
When you don’t recognize where you are
When you can’t find the door
When you start hearing the word “bro” at an increased rate, in increasingly louder volumes
When you are for real considering needing an attorney
When the only people left are dudes you don’t recognize
Any talk of human or animal sacrifice
In all seriousness, listen to your gut. If it says leave, leave.
Image source: ZakanrnEggeater
#19
I’m old so I’ve seen it all. This would apply to both types of parties.
If anyone is fall down/blackout drunk it’s time to leave even if it’s not you.
If anyone breaks out hard d***s, it’s time to leave.
If there are under age people drinking, it’s time to leave.
If people are being disrespectful to the property of the host, it’s time to leave.
If there are 30-year-olds hitting on 17 – year-olds, it’s time to leave.
If the host starts to clean up, it’s time to either start helping or leave.
In this applies to all parties, never show up empty-handed. And that means something for the host, not three beers that you plan on drinking yourself.
EDIT: Kind of getting some traction so I’ll just add that getting in trouble is not the worst outcome here. Normalizing bad situations is the first step in being a part of them. No, you probably won’t get arrested if someone does coke at a party you’re at, but to a young person (because that’s what we are talking about here) it not many reps of seeing this before it seems probably not that bad…
Image source: peas8carrots
#20
If there is a group of guys who goes to the party and did not greet anybody, where they just stand around looking, someone is about to be jumped or shot. Just leave.
Image source: titandevekaj, Mark Angelo Sampan
#21
Cocktail parties: arrive on time or within 15 minutes and it’s over in two hours. Dinner parties: arrive on time and it’s over in 2-3 hours depending on how fast things go, how many courses, etc. Late night hangouts / nightcaps after an event: 1-2 hours max and definitely leave if the host appears tired or starts cleaning up.
All those rules go out the window when d***s are involved; refer to the other replies in those cases.
But more generally, once the first person leaves (if they aren’t obviously leaving early for an emergency or something), typically there’s a wave of people leaving, which is when it’s polite to leave. If you’re a close friend and the host asked you to stay a little longer, then roll up your sleeves and help clean up – and then leave when your part of the cleaning (drying dishes or moving chairs or whatever) is done.
And for the love of god, remember that someone lingering is either an idiot or a FWB who is waiting for you to GTFO. Don’t be the idiot, and don’t c**kblock the FWB relationship.
Image source: sing_cuckoo_sing
#22
At the first sign of hard d***s, guns or fighting, I’m out.
Image source: Travelgrrl
#23
Leave while you’re still having fun.
Image source: ProfessorDelicious6
#24
Car keys in the fruitbowl.
Image source: dug99
#25
It’s hard to explain but when the vibe changes and everybody just starts arguing. Obvious signs are groups of people huddled together talking amongst themselves and glaring at someone else/another group, people furiously messaging on their phones, that one person who always tries to make peace moving back and forth between two groups. Drama is coming and while it may be interesting to watch, if there’s any chance you’ll get pulled into it GTFO.
Image source: Hippy_Lynne, August de Richelieu
#26
When the baby oil comes out lol.
Image source: starlightwhim
#27
Your instinct is screaming . Trust your gut.
Image source: Best_Catch2482
#28
Some lady with a too-eager grin shows up with a Santa’s bag full of Tupperware and an order form in triplicate.
Image source: Graphite-and-Glitter
#29
Fights breaking out? Time to bounce asap.
Image source: nordic_yankee, Maurício Mascaro
#30
A shady dude no one knows shows up and people sporadically disappear and come back after 20 mins or so – it’s time to leave unless you’re into hard d***s or really like to gamble.
S**t gets unpredictable really quick.
Image source: RRReck
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