Experience is a great teacher. When you make mistakes and learn from them on your own, those lessons stick very well. However, some errors are quite costly in terms of time, money, energy, and new gray hairs. So, ideally, it would be great if you could learn what nasty pitfalls to avoid from someone else who’s been in the ‘trenches’ longer.
Inspired by user BrightInMyNorthernSky, the members of the popular Mumsnet online community shared their best cautionary tales to spread a bit of their wisdom on the internet. They touched a bit of everything, from work and relationships to health. We’ve collected some of their top tips to share with you. Scroll down to take a peek, Pandas!
Bored Panda got in touch with Glenn Geher, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the State University of New York at New Paltz and a published author. Dr. Geher shed some light on the importance of failure and how it relates to success in life. Read on for his insights!
#1
Never Get personal loans to pay for something for your partner/spouse. If they can’t get it, there’s a reason. Don’t get into debt for them. No exclusions.
Image source: SilverBranchGoldenPears , Scott Graham / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#2
Don’t marry an arsehole expecting he will change. If he’s a selfish arse he will remain so and will always be a shit husband and father.
Image source: BurnoutGP, engin akyurt / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#3
Don’t let anyone stay without a clear indication of when they will be leaving.
Invited a friend in dire straits to stay with me but never agreed a timescale. She ended up staying 18 months and barely paid anything in that time. Our friendship disintegrated for various reasons.
Never again!
Image source: cadburyegg, Liza Summer
#4
Never forgive a cheater – they will ALWAYS cheat again and if they left you because you’re the OW they will cheat on you. I believe this to be very true having worked in domestic abuse for many, many years.
Image source: ByNavyOtter, Fa Barboza / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#5
Don’t be fobbed off by your GP. I saw four different GPs who fobbed me off. Eventually it turned out that I had a cancerous tumour on my left ovary, measuring 10cm x 6cm.
Image source: Lifelikinotdothinki , National Cancer Institute / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#6
If you’re not mature enough to have a conversation with your partner about contraception, then you’re not ready to be having sex.
Just because he’s not hitting you doesn’t mean he’s a great guy.. raise the bar or stay single.
Don’t accept the google log in notification thingy if you’re not 100% sure it’s actually you (ds learned that one the hard way recently).
Image source: Chocolatepeanutbuttercupsandicecream, Reproductive Health Supplies Coalition / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#7
When you start dating you should be finding out, within the first few months:
If they want kids
If they like holidays
If they have debt
If they have kids/wife elsewhere (sounds obvious but you’d be amazed)
What they see as retirement
Image source: KitKatChunki, René Ranisch / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#8
If you need to exit a relationship which is volatile, do the prep work first very carefully. Make use of empty meeting rooms at work for lunchtime sessions of phone calls and messages to get your ducks in a row. Keep a coded notebook of all the things you need to do at work and plough through it every day. Make a timeline so you can see a clear end date you’ll be out by and focus on that but dig deep if you have to push it back and play whatever role at home you have to play to keep yourself safe until then.
Thank your friends and family who stand by you in the tough times, don’t take them for granted. They’re not mindreaders and need to be appreciated.
Image source: Commonsenseisnotsocommon
#9
Always check your refund is in your bank account no matter how many times customer services say it will be there in x amount of days.
Image source: ItsAnAbsoluteCasseroleDownThere, Christin Hume / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#10
Check your credit card statements regularly. My balance was a bit higher than I thought but instead of going back through the statements, I figured I’d just lost track and did a 0% balance transfer for the whole amount.
It wasn’t until a hotel charged me for a room I’d cancelled within the free cancellation period, that I happened to trawl back through the transactions and saw a £2,700 charge, 3 months previously, for a trip to Euro Disney.
I have never been to Euro Disney.
Image source: JiraffDeSaki , rupixen / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#11
My cautionary tale would be not to ignore physical symptoms no matter how disgusting you feel, but seek medical help.
Otherwise you might end up very, very ill!
Image source: SheepAndSword , Olga Kononenko / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#12
Never pool all your money in a joint account if you are the higher earner, no matter how “trustworthy” you think your spouse is. Also never, ever give them a credit card in your name.
Image source: DancelikeFredAstaire , Alexander Grey / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#13
Listen to your gut instinct in job interviews.
If something feels off, but you’re offered the job, don’t accept it.
Image source: WaxingGibbon
#14
Never start peeing unless you have checked there’s loo roll.
Image source: Allofaflutter
#15
Always check your bath towels for spiders before wrapping yourself up in one.
If you are a woman do not cry at the GP unless you want to be diagnosed with a mental health issue rather than diagnosed with whatever is causing you so much pain and distress that you cry.
Image source: PearlKoala
#16
If you’re a runner, don’t run behind a combine harvester going down a narrow country lane, because it might clip a wasps’ nest, leaving you (and the dog) COVERED in really cross wasps.
Image source: Vroomfondleswaistcoat, Alex McCarthy / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#17
If you have a niggle or feel uncomfortable with a professionals advice press the point. Dont just accept it. Trusting my accountant rather than my own instinct cost me £20k in additional avoidable tax that I shouldn’t have had to pay
Image source: TheaBrandt
#18
Never, ever mistake a tube of haemorrhoid cream for a tube of Deep Heat cream.
Image source: IwaslostinFrance, cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
#19
Never walk on a hotel room carpet in bare feet, always use slipper socks/slippers.
Trust your gut when it comes to keeping safe and always cross the street several times if you feel unsure about someone following behind you.
Love and hate are two sides of the same coin, indifference is the goal during and after difficult times.
Meet anyone with dependencies? Run for the hills rather than let them waste your life aswell as their own. They won’t change.
Accept that your parents are just people and not some saintly being just because they are older, they are flawed too.
Keep your face and hands out of the sun.
Don’t spend time engaging with idiots, they are a lost cause.
Image source: Commonsenseisnotsocommon
#20
Stretch marks are not caused by not wearing a bra. Many/most 14 year olds will get them , perfectly normal .
Image source: statetrooperstacey , Chu Chup Hinh / pexels (not the actual photo)
#21
The easy option, comes at a price.
Image source: NeelyOHara1, Madison Kaminski / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#22
Do not, under any circumstances, break your employment contract by leaving before the end of your notice period even if it does feel like a lifetime. Always try to negotiate with your future employers. I didn’t. I’ve had three incredibly stressful weeks with threats of legal action and the only reason they let me go in the end was because I spent all last weekend, including BH Monday, getting the company out of a very tricky situation.
Image source: BrightInMyNorthernSky, Unseen Studio / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#23
Always check how many items they’ve got when you brought a return. One time out of three they do a mistake.
And always check your shopping receipts straight after the transaction. The day when you forget to do this you will be overcharged.
Image source: pizzaHeart
#24
Always remember to change the address on your V5 and not just your license. I didn’t. DH got caught speeding twice on the same day on the same stretch of road (33 in a 30) in my car. Both fines went to old address. Didn’t answer them, obvs. The whole sorry mess played out without me being aware and by the time it all caught up with me it was had been banned from driving for six months and fined £2k – five months earlier! So had been driving while banned for five months!!!
Image source: BrightInMyNorthernSky, onathan Cooper / unspalsh (not the actual photo)
#25
Your mortgage insurance, critical illness insurance, income protection and so on have MASSIVE exclusion clauses and riders. They don’t keep you safe. If you do manage to get them to pay out, they’ll find reasons to stop paying within 18 months or less.
I ended up having to sell my flat for the outstanding amount. I honestly thought I’d taken all necessary precautions.
Image source: Garlicker
#26
Get a spare front door key cut and hide it somewhere safe outside.
Locksmiths charge a fortune to come out to your home to break you in.
Image source: calimali, Maria Ziegler / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#27
Don’t underestimate the possibility and prevalence of hereditary personality and cognitive traits when considering procreation. DC’s dad is definitely an acquired taste with some peculiar quirks which, when initially dating, seemed charmingly idiosyncratic at best and, on reflection, at worst constitute a life-time of struggle. One DC has inherited many of these (definitely nature as opposed to nurture) and their life is so much harder for it.
Image source: LetTheCardsFallWhereTheyMay
#28
Don’t swing on your chair because you might fall and give yourself a black eye.
I tell my classes that I know a kid who did exactly this. They never believe me, because ‘all the teachers say that’.
It was my DS.
Image source: noblegiraffe
#29
When making fresh chicken stock, drain and store immediately.
Do not store overnight in the fridge and do it the day after. Cos then you end up with chicken carcass jelly. And have to heat it up again to separate.
Image source: coxesorangepippin
#30
NEVER assume that your toxic narcissist MIL made appropriate arrangements for absolutely anything at all when they inherited a large sum of money.
Also never take the advice of medical staff when they tell you how long someone with an inoperable brain tumour has left to live. They will be wildly wrong.
Image source: DungballInADress
#31
When you are on the M1, slow down to 50mph by the time you enter the 50mph zone, and don’t speed up until you have left it.
Don’t assume your teenager is as focussed on their GCSEs as you think they are just because they haven’t said they are not and you hope all is well. By the time the teachers tell you they have car crashed their mocks there is very little time to recover. I definitely took my eye off the ball there….
Bear in mind that spirits in the US are served as doubles by default and the measures are fucking huge.
Image source: Iamblossom , Campbell / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#32
Never get married. Live with someone if you want but get proper advice on protecting your property first. So many people don’t look into the legal implications of marriage till it bites them on the arse at the end of it.
If you don’t entirely believe your doctor is right get a second opinion. Could have saved me years of pain, disability and perhaps my cancer having progressed to stage 4.
Join a union. RCN protected me when my employer turned out to have no integrity.
Don’t let a man persuade you he knows best. So many things I went along with against my better judgement which turned to shit.
Image source: Blackcats7 , Wu Jianxiong / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#33
If you see a tempting offer or competition, always ask yourself, ‘What’s the least they could give me without actually lying about it?’ & don’t take anything for granted or give them the benefit of the doubt. If you’re happy with the least, go ahead.
Image source: ifIwerenotanandroid
#34
My DH was driving around without tax for a couple of months. We both now pay monthly so it can’t expire without us realising again
Image source: StormingNorman , Alex Chernenko / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#35
Do not go to bed sooking a strepsil.
I fell asleep and woke up in the morning it was still in my mouth (albeit much smaller) and it had burned a hole in the roof of my mouth. It was weeks before it healed properly.
Also, do not sniff olbas oil whilst laying down. I did this and some dribbled out the bottle and down my nose and my nose and throat felt dry for days and days even though I guzzled water to try and get rid of it. It was awful!
Image source: Hungrycaterpillarsmummy , Psiĥedelisto / wikipedia (not the actual photo)
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