Truth or dare. Truth? Okay, tell me your deepest, darkest secret!
I remember sweating through every middle school party praying that I wouldn’t be asked to reveal anything too embarrassing or life-altering. In hindsight, I’m not sure what I was so scared of because 12-year-old me didn’t have any juicy secrets.
I have since learned, however, that many people in this world actually do cling onto deep, dark secrets, some of which have recently been revealed on Reddit. Below, you’ll find a variety of shocking admissions, as well as conversations with the woman who started this conversation and the hosts of the Deep Dark Secrets podcast. So get out your popcorn, enjoy reading through, and be sure to upvote the secrets you’re glad aren’t your own!
#1
I was pregnant at 18 by my father. No one in my life knows. I moved away. I went into labour at 37 weeks. She was perfect. She just didn’t breathe. They tried for ages. In the end, they put her in my arms and said there was nothing they could do.
Throughout my whole pregnancy, I wondered how I could possibly love her given how she came to be. I was so alone and confused. I wished her away on more than one occasion, and then it happened. It hurts, so very much every day. It’s been 29 years, and it still hurts every day.
I’ve never had another child. It’s the price I pay for wishing her away.
Image source: No_Strain_703
#2
I inherited a butt ton of money and haven’t told anyone for years. I have lived very modestly but one day I plan on completely disappearing to my countryside house where no one will find me.
Image source: Eastern-Operation275, cottonbro studio
#3
I love my dogs more than I love my close family and I prefer to spend time with my dogs instead of my family
Image source: GeriToni
#4
My mum was/is an alcoholic with schizophrenia. She was pretty abusive to my dad and me. My dad died from terminal cancer but once when he was ill when I was 18 I came downstairs after hearing shouting to see him sobbing on the floor begging her to stop screaming at him.
It was only the 2nd time I’d ever seen my dad cry, all the abuse and I’d never seen him breakdown. Something snapped and lets just say I got physical with her which culminated in me whispering in her ear that if she so much as raised her voice at him again she’d leave in a body bag. I think she knew I was serious as she cut most of her s**t out.
Image source: Idlezzz
#5
I got my first bf when I was 19. He was also 19. The relationship was incredibly toxic and abusive –the level of “I’m not allowed to pick my clothes or friends or classes without his consent” kind of abusive. Later on, he would throw furniture at me, try to break my arm with his bare hands, threaten to kill himself if I left, kidnap my dog, and stand in front of my car so I couldn’t leave.
I was trapped for 2.5 years. During that time, I was falsely accused of having a sexual relationship with my co-coach who was 45 at the time, when in reality, my bf was cheating on me.
So when he wanted to lose weight, I told him I would cook for him. What he thought were healthy, chocolate protein shakes were actually full fat, chocolate shakes with about a cup of added sugar per serving (plus protein powder). He gained 40+ lbs over a year.
I want to feel bad about it but I had to call the cops on him for domestic abuse. So I don’t.
Image source: Important-Tomato2306
#6
My dad was an awful d******d, so when I was 16 I reported his endless list of s**t to the police. To this day he thinks his ex-wife snitched on him. He still doesn’t know that his daughter reported him. -Edit: So many were asking what he did, and if he was sentenced. I won’t list everything, some are scattered in the comments, but here are a few (a lot of then I will keyword because I can’t bring myself to actually go into detail, I hope you understand) “Accidental” vehicular homicide; child kidnapping (he forced me and my sister to move to a different country away from out family); forcing me and my sister to work on our “family” restaurant for no money, 10hrs a day; tax evasion; scamming over 250k, grooming, overstepping child/father boundaries (i won’t go into detail. I’m sorry.) For this he got 23 years without parole
Image source: real_strawberries, Ron Lach
#7
I ran over a woman as she was crossing the road with her child when I was 18 years old. They both died. It was 5 am and foggy and I did not see them.
There is not a day that goes by that I do not hear the noise and remember the smell and it has been nearly 34 years. I don’t share this with people but I live with the fact that I ruined a family each and every day.
Image source: throwaway291348580, Artyom Kulakov
#8
I called dcyf on a friend and her kids eventually were removed from her home. Still doesn’t know it was me.
Image source: stuffedmushr00ms, John Benitez
#9
I’m a 36 year old straight bearded man.
I love Sailor Moon. Nostalgic af and I’m emabarassed by it.
Image source: clashtrack
#10
When I was 33, my father died. My mother had passed a year earlier. A few days after his death I was in his closet just looking at stuff, thinking about what to do with everything. I saw an old jacket that I had never seen my father west. I tried it on but it was way too small. That means it would’ve been too small for my dad too. I put my hand in the inside pocket and found a roll of $20 bills. $680 total. Then I reached in the other pocket and found a note with a life insurance policy number and a name and phone number. My father told me he didn’t have life insurance before he passed so I wondered if it was an old policy. I called the number, and it was the agent that sold him the policy. He told me there were three benificiarirs and it’s still valid. It was worth 300,00$ to be split equally three ways between my brother, me and Valeria. I have no idea who Valeria is. I took my 100k my bro got his 100k and I guess Valeria got hers. I like to think she was a beautiful women that rocked my dads world in his final year on earth
Image source: Damantinomies, Alexander Grey
#11
Male.
I’ve been selling my foot pics and videos pretending to be female for years.
Image source: eDisrturbseize, cottonbro studio
#12
My wife thinks I take super long showers because I’m jerking off. I’m not (usually). Most of the time I’m sitting in a cold shower trying to wash off my anxiety. Doesn’t usually work.
Image source: Manbeartapir, Alex Green
#13
Not so much now, but when I was younger, I wished that my severely disabled little brother was never born/normal. I love my little brother, I really do and I feel awful that I have these thoughts. But the way he is completely altered my life and my entire family. He will always need to be taken care of and all plans must work around him. When my parents pass, it will be my sister and I who take care of him. It’s not his fault but I would sometimes resent him. Never told anyone because of the guilt I feel.
Image source: vwagabond, RDNE Stock project
#14
I feel nothing. Always. Every emotion is faked. The “love” for my wife, the “love” for my kids. The “caring” about my friends. The ”effort” I put in at my my place of employment as a supervisor. It’s all to fit in. It’s all a show. Of course, they all will never know that. Ever. Especially my family. I would never leave them or want them to know my lack of feelings because I know it would crush them. So every day, I keep on keeping on.
Image source: pipboyperks
#15
How many times a day that I wish I would die. Depression is a absolute c**t.
I am fairly certain that a medication I took for 6 months about 12 years ago is responsible.
Don’t sic the admins on me. I keep on keeping on .
My survival rate for my bad days is 100%
Edit. The Medication was Chantix. And Wow the support I have gotten. Thank you and I love you.
Image source: Yourmomismyepicmount
#16
My grandpa showed me a picture of a family reunion from back in the 70s. He pointed out this fat cat looking guy and told me that it was his cousin from New York. He said he would show up to these reunions and shower everyone in gifts. I googled the name and turns out that that guy was in the Mafia and had a very large part in a historic moment for organized crime.
Image source: WatDaFuxRong, Ron Lach
#17
Not me but a family member.. she denies it still but I know the truth. I watched it happen. She was maybe 10 at the time.
She set a park amphitheater on fire. Decided she didn’t want to go to jail so she found a cup in the trash and ran back and forth from the pond trying to put this massive fire out. Fire department showed up and saw her doing that. She got to ride home in the fire truck and they gave her an award for community action or something along those lines.
Image source: Suspicious_Feeling27, Gustavo Fring
#18
One summer, I fell in love with my cousin when I (M) was 13 and she was 14. During her visit, she kissed me. I said we couldn’t do that again and she agreed. But she added that she was glad that we kissed at least once. Nothing else physical ever happened between us.
We still see each other sometimes now. And every time we’re together, I wish she could’ve been *anybody else’s* cousin. Just not my cousin. She once told me outright that she wishes the same thing.
She brings her husband to family reunions, of course. He and I look alike, have the same hobbies, share the same sense of humor, etc. But so far, nobody seems to have noticed that she married my clone.
I asked her about that once. She said she really does love him and she loves her marriage. But she added “He was the next best thing.”
Image source: EponymousTitular
#19
Every time someone talks positively about their parents I feel an unavoidable deep sinking pain in my chest. I feel just short of hateful. I feel jealous, but mostly I feel pain. It’s always been this way. I’m in therapy, I have been for years, but lately I’m starting to feel like I’ll never get over the abuse and neglect and ongoing aloof victim b******t they each pull in their respective way. I’m exhausted from wanting to be loved and seen by people I know are not capable of that at all.
Image source: SirSteg
#20
I think about running away from my life almost daily. Not because it’s bad but just because I’m bored and think this can’t be all there is to it.
Image source: freefaller3
#21
I’ve cremated all my relatives against their wishes. Burial is just too much man.
Image source: TheBrewGod, cottonbro studio
#22
I’m secretly attracted to a guy at work. I’m a completely straight male. But whenever I see him get the butterflies. I’m married and have a wife. He’s just kinda cute.
Image source: GriZZlyHIkerman
#23
I once was involved in a university black market where they handed me out past exam papers because our professor never hands out one for us to practice. I studied them with a friend of mine.
A week after, it was the exact same exam word for word. Only the year changed. I memorized the answers off by heart. I finished in 45 mins, f****d around and pretended to think for 2 more hours to avoid getting caught.
I got a 95% in an engineering exam with a poker face.
Image source: engineer-cabbage
#24
I worked in a crematorium in the late 80’s. We had a shelf in the back that we stored cheap plastic urns on. One night as I was sitting and waiting for one cremation to finish there was a loud crash that scared the sh*t out of me. When I went back to look the shelf had collapsed. I ended up just scooping the ashes back into the containers but never told anyone about it.
Image source: 11011313, cottonbro studio
#25
When I was 10 I saw a man stab his girlfriend at a rest stop and I pretended not to see anything
Image source: FrostyDog94, Pixabay
#26
About 16 years ago, my parents (51 M/49 F at the time) got a divorce because my mother turned out to be cheating on my father with a 15 year old she had met in church.
Once the divorce was finalized, my father began to date his biological cousin and almost married her. This is the TL:DR version of what happened but it was a whirlwind of WTF moments for about 3 years as everything came out.
To this day, they act like nothing either of them did was wrong.
Image source: nonamesleft–, Dương Nhân
#27
I’m a guy and I enjoy wearing ladies underwear.
Image source: Apprehensive_Goal811
#28
I love my wife dearly, but she’s one of the least intelligent people I know. She struggles with very very basic things. Her whole family does. She’s from a small town and wasn’t exposed to a lot by her parents and their simple lifestyle.
She’s said a few things that maybe some people would find cute for how ignorant they were, but I just get a little more depressed every time.
Image source: QuestionMarkPolice
#29
For the past 9 years, I’ve been squirreling away money on offshore accounts. Just in case s**t hits the fan, I have something to start with a new life.
Image source: Kitch00000, Pavel Danilyuk
#30
I started hooking up with one of my closest friend’s ex not even a month after they broke up. It turned into semi dating and I even attended her mom and step dad’s small wedding. He would always complain that she wouldn’t do things in bed but she was an absolute freak with me and while that made me feel even more guilty it was also hot as f**k
She had him blocked on everything (related to the break up, he was no saint) and even after she moved back to South Korea and we ended things amicably I got ahold of his phone when he was drunk one night and blocked her from his social media just incase she ever decides to reach back out
It’s been 8 years and nobody knows
Image source: Woolong-Acquirer, Polina Sirotina
#31
My parents’ lives have been difficult, whenever they call they just tell me it’s hard that they want to die. I’m an only child. One time they called and shared the same stuff, I told them I was feeling the same way and would like to end things too (like let’s die together then). My current partner doesn’t know about this.
Edit: I am a bubbly person who’s living solo, away from my parents since I might go insane if I stay with them. Sadly, they can still affect my well-being by one single call
Image source: halfmaria
#32
For almost 10 years and still going (Im 23) I love to bite and pick at the skin of my cheeks and inside of my lip until it bleeds. And when it starts healing i chew off the scab and gnaw on it until it dissipates. I’ve looked into this and everywhere i read it’s a stress/anxiety coping mechanism as well as a repetitive body disfunction. Anyone else here ruins their lips
Image source: shredderchris
#33
This is my darkest secret, i mixed a strong laxative in the juice of an obnoxious c**t of my class who got my whole day of college attendance cancelled because i didn’t contribute in the crowdfunding for the birthday of our head of department. I was broke af was the reason.
Image source: Much-Yesterday5871
#34
Not my deepest secret, but a card I keep pretty close to my chest:
Nearly every week of my life since age 19, I’ve had a vivid dream about my high school girlfriend.
I’m 47 now.
Image source: AdministrativeRisk34
#35
I nearly killed my brother accidentally. When we were kids, we were playing outside and he just kinda annoyed me. So I went home, got a can of peas, and then proceed to throw it at his head. He crumpled and was unconscious for a bit. I remember freaking out that maybe I killed him but he came to several minutes later. To this day, almost 19 years later, he doesn’t remember anything, and he doesn’t seem to have any neurological problems, he seems normal. I haven’t told anyone this, not even my parents. I just told them he fell and hit his head when they noticed the lump on his head, but didn’t mention that he was unconscious.
Image source: marumarumon
#36
I fell in love with a married man when I was in college. I have never told anyone and as far as I know his wife never found out. He passed away a few years ago from a heart attack. After we ended our affair I cut off all contact with him and he moved to another state. I didn’t attend the funeral but I still grieve for him. Even though it was wrong I still love him.
Image source: Content_Pool_1391
#37
I fell in love with my brothers wife a few years ago, they’re separated now but I never even seriously thought about making a move. I have a girlfriend now and even the thought of one of my brothers being into her makes me angry. I never would have made a move, but that thought seriously puts things into perspective on how uncool it was for me to think about her like that. I think about and regret it a lot.
Image source: Steel-Necromancer, christopher lemercier
#38
I had a drunken argument with my travelling buddy when in Asia together years ago… She became physical and started shoving me around, became incredibly intimidating, screaming in my face etc. I left the bar we were at and went back to our hostel room … I was so annoyed at her I scrubbed the unsanitary Asian toilet in our room with her toothbrush….
Despite my horror on realising what I had done in the morning, I didn’t tell her.
She came down with the worst D+V the evening after…. Ended up on a drip in some tourist hospital. Was in said hospital for about 3 days… Whoops.
Image source: Adorable-Hearing8448, Greta Hoffman
#39
I’m not in love with my wife anymore but can’t leave because of the kids.
Edit: I’m in love with her sister. Who is also in an unhappy relationship
Image source: armourbound, Nik Shuliahin
#40
I did a favor for an organized crime figure in the 90’s.
Image source: TheMadIrishman327, cottonbro studio
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