Let’s face it, school can be a drag. Annoying classmates, bullies, and teachers with personal vendettas make getting an education more miserable than it needs to be. Now imagine being trapped at a boarding school with all of that. Less than ideal, right?
One woman turned to an online community to share how her parents tricked her into going to a school for the gifted, then left her there until graduation after promising she could leave whenever she wanted to. Now, years later, she’s not sure she can ever forgive them.
More info: Reddit
School can be a less-than-ideal experience, but boarding school takes it to a whole new level
Image credits: Jomkwan / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One teen was forced to go to boarding school until graduation, despite her parents at first telling her she could leave if she didn’t like it
Image credits: pvproductions / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She was miserable at the school and cried every day for two years, shattered that her parents would just abandon her
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
To make matters worse, her parents lied and told everyone she loved it at the school and was there by her own choice
Image credits: VisibleLoan7460
Now, she’s at college, but turned to netizens to share how she’s still struggling with feelings of anger towards her folks and is wondering if she’ll ever get over their betrayal
When most teens dream about freedom in high school, the original poster’s (OP) parents had other plans, and they didn’t involve choice. At just 15, her parents pressured her into applying to an elite boarding school, threatening to send her to an all-girls Catholic school if she didn’t. Thinking rejection was guaranteed, she applied.
A week later, she was accepted, and that’s when everything changed. Her parents told her she’d only have to stay for two weeks, just to “try it out.” But after those two weeks of homesickness and tears, they broke their promise. Over the phone, they told her she was staying until graduation. Her life, as she knew it, vanished overnight.
She cried every day for two years while her family moved on without her. They even got a new puppy two days after she left, one she bitterly says was meant to “replace” her. Her parents told friends and relatives she was thriving, even though she begged to come home. Her mom even made it clear to everyone: she wasn’t welcome back.
Now 19 and in college, OP’s still struggling with feelings of resentment and abandonment issues. Though she’s tried to understand her parents’ point of view, she can’t forgive how they handled it. “They took my home away from me,” she writes. “I was 15. I was a kid. And I don’t know if I’ll ever stop being quietly angry about it.”
Image credits: user23299994 / Freepik (not the actual picture)
Let’s be real here: nobody (and I mean absolutely nobody) wants to be shipped off to boarding school against their will and then basically forgotten about. OP’s parents blatantly disregarded her well-being, then, on top of that, lied to people that she was having the time of her life. What she’s going through is known as boarding school syndrome. But just what is it? We went digging for answers.
The pros over at Brighton Therapy Partnership break it down nicely: boarding school syndrome is not a medical category, but a theory that there’s an identifiable cluster of learned behaviors and emotional states that may follow growing up in boarding school, which can lead to serious psychological distress.
Here’s the thing: the ex-boarder might look totally socially confident on the surface, but underneath, there’s often a deep, permanent inability to trust. It plays out in adulthood through constant anticipation of rejection and this gnawing fear that the people you love will eventually leave you. No wonder OP is struggling, right?
As much as she’s hurting, the experts from Psychology Today say that the antidote for resentment is forgiveness, consciously remembering what happened and letting go of the pain attached to it. The best part? You can forgive others whether or not they admit to their role in hurting you.
We’re really hoping OP can work through the deep pain she’s been carrying and eventually find a way to release the anger toward her parents for what they put her through. Because holding onto that bitterness? It’s really just hurting her more.
So, what’s your take? Is OP’s anger justified? Should she try to forgive her folks for her own good? Share your thoughts in the comments!
In the comments, readers encouraged the original poster not to suffer in silence but rather to tell her parents exactly how much pain they caused her
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