Remember when we were scared of the monsters on the big screen? We had nightmares of the things that went bump in the night because we snuck around and watched the movies our parents said were too scary. Do you recall how absolutely terrifying some of those monsters were? When we started looking at them as adolescents and then adults we had to stop and wonder just why we were scared in the first place, right? Kids’ minds make the unknown even scarier than it’s meant to be most times. We don’t have enough experience to tell ourselves it’s not scary so we run or cower in fear at the movie monsters of our youth only to realize later the magic that our own mind provided in making them seem so realistic.
So sit back and laugh at the monsters that used to scare the living daylights out of us.
5. The Blob
If you were born in the 1940’s or 50’s then this version of the gelatinous monster might have seemed terrifying to you. Even the version made in the 80’s looks like a jello mold gone bad now that we’re old enough to know better. Still, back in its time the Blob was one of the most absolutely frightening things to watch. How do you kill something that’s essentially one giant mass without a central nervous system? Plus, how do you do anything but contain it in the deep freeze that finally stopped it when heat can bring it back to life?
4. Critters
They’re basically demented-looking little hedgehogs with way too many teeth and an unfortunately devious intelligence. Forget the intergalactic beings that are chasing them down, they might get a few of them, but not every last one. Worse than though, as these things continue to eat, which they’re always doing it seems, they tend to get bigger. It’s like a gremlin that starts out somewhere between Gizmo and Stripe and just gets worse as things progress. Silly, but they looked mean as hell at one point. Now they might rate on the same level as teletubbies.
3. The Graboids
So let’s play a game where the ground isn’t lava, but it’s definitely not the safest place to be regardless. It’s kind of funny to think that these things couldn’t move through solid rock, which is nice, but they could bury a station wagon in less than ten minutes and still trouble with Rhonda’s little pickup. Plus, as cool as the scene is, it still begs the question as to how a graboid so huge can push its way through ton after ton of solid, packed earth and have that much issue with a concrete barrier that’s only about a foot thick at best. Don’t get me wrong, the scene was cool, by the dynamics of it are kind of puzzling.
2. The Dog Gargoyles
Okay who brought the dog? Yeah, not exactly what most people would be thinking when they hear a guttural growl coming from the other room. More like who just lost control of their bladder. This clay-mation gargoyle was kind of obvious when the creature went from being a humongous, red-eyed demon to a miniature missile that explodes through closed doors. Then came the big rubbery prop that couldn’t do much but stare and snarl at Louis as he ran like his pants were on fire from his own apartment. At least the thing was after him, if not then it would mean he’s a terrible host.
1. Jaws
In its time this was frightening enough to keep people from going out to sea for quite some time. It even prompted fishermen to target sharks because they were all seen as maneaters. But really take a look at this clip. When was the last time you saw a shark actually leap out of the water to land on a boat? Sharks are powerful and they’re built for speed and quick attacks, but they’re not made by nature to have a visible hinge on their jaw or a rubbery consistency. Definitely give credit where credit is due.
Yes the movies were scary then. But with the bar raised so high, even the classics begin to dim.
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