Being a mom is no easy task. They have to fight the unpredictable tantrums of their kids, keep the whole house afloat, and stay sane while doing all this. You could say, then, being a mother is not that different from being a superhero. But even beloved superheroes sometimes get sloppy and take shortcuts, hoping that their latex-laden contemporaries won’t take notice.
Keeping this to themselves, however, can be one of the most nerve-racking things. Superheroes do it because they don’t want to put their loved ones in harm’s way. Mothers, meanwhile, do it because they feel like they might be judged by other childbearers. “Can everyone share their mom secrets, so that I don’t feel so bad about myself?” pleads u/brookeaat in her Breaking Mom subreddit’s post. From bribing kids with extra screen time to co-sleeping with them, there’s nothing better than spilling some tea without feeling like you’ve committed a crime.
#1
The only battles worth fighting small children over are safety related ones. You want to roll in the mud and eat nothing but doritos for 3 weeks? Go for it. You’re going to wear disney princess heels, a swimsuit, a tutu, and a ski hat to the grocery store? Rock on little one. I’ve been raising kids for 18 years, all different ages and personalities. It just isn’t worth the energy to battle them if it’s not actually affecting their safety or the safety of others around them.
Image source: anon, Haley Phelps
#2
Sometimes I just seriously want everyone in my house to leave me the f**k alone.
Image source: transponster99, Andrea Piacquadio
#3
I truly hate playing with my kid. I do not want to play Barbies, dolls, or ponies. I can do crafts, coloring, puzzles, dancing. But I hate imaginative play.
Image source: Sun_Mother
#4
My husband cleans the house while I breastfeed my kid to sleep. I almost always lay next to her for a bit longer and scroll on my phone and enjoy her presence until I can hear him finished, so that I don’t have to help.
😜
Image source: HollyBethQ
#5
Oh man…
I don’t care what my child eats. I mean, I CARE. I TRY. But it’s so draining for me to fight him about food. He turned 3 in April and you know what? He gets almost all of the important vitamins/nutrients from smoothies. I hide zucchini and carrots in banana bread. Spinach is tasteless in smoothies.
Eats pasta. Refuses veggies most of the time. Will eat chicken if fried or in nugget form but no other meat and no other way. If my child is gonna sit there and eat a whole loaf of bread, I really do not care anymore.
I DO care about his sugar consumption. That’s all lol
Image source: Inner-Membership-175, Luana Freitas
#6
I still sleep in my 2.5 yo room most nights. I put a full bed in there because his twin hurt my back. And honestly, if I’m in there he will sleep all night. Since I’m
The nighttime parent, I’ve decided my sleep is worth being uninterrupted.
I also sometimes lay with him until he falls asleep then go down to visit with husband and watch tv until he inevitably falls asleep on the couch, and I’ll head right back upstairs to kids room before he wakes up calling for me.
Love my husband but this is the season I’m in and I’ve accepted it. It won’t last forever. But I get lots of judging about how my husband must be lonely and some other bs when people find out.
Image source: cheesypitafire, Mark von Arb
#7
My daughter lives on broccoli and French fries.
I bathe her twice a week
Teeth brushed once a day
I swear a lot around her
We are all great moms… we just have our own unique styles.
Image source: worldsmostmediummom, Moisés Delgado
#8
I mostly watch “adult” shows with my 4 year old every day. I pre-screen episodes (and sometimes skip scenes) so he sees nothing too outrageous, but at this point his favorite shows are Futurama, Bob’s Burgers, Simpsons, and King of the Hill.
Image source: AppleRatty, Anastasia Shuraeva
#9
I let the 10mo, the 4yo and the 7yo spend 40mins putting dirt into the snap side pool.
Its filthy. And they are covered in mud.
But I got to make dinner with no interruptions.
Yesterday they got all the chalk wet and made an absolutely horrific mess on the side of the house, porch concrete and every yard toy within reach. Combined with the pool/dirt thing going on today, it looks like a rainbow massacre. Baby has dirt and chalk in his hair.
I had to repot some plants last week so had a potting mix throw down with the leftovers, and then they gathered up the remnants and “potted” some random trash. We finna see if a piece of foil and cutting of a pizza box sprouts any day now.
When I was in the worst of my symptoms from covid 10 days ago, we received my husbands fishtank supplies in a massive box full of packing peanuts. I let them roll around in them and play bumper cars in diaper boxes through the mess.
I frequently let them make huge messes I have to clean up to get some spare minutes or just because its funny.
Image source: AmbiguousFrijoles, Ellie Storms
#10
Both my kids slept in the bed with me when they were newborns. With my first I really, really fought it — but my wife deployed a month before my second was born so I was alone that entire first year. She slept with me from the day she came home from the hospital to 6ish months when I (also controversial in mom-groups) sleep trained.
I think my *secret* is that… I don’t regret it. I see so many parents on the Reddit get so up in arms about other parents bedsharing and I’m just over here like… huh, wild. It felt like the most natural thing in the world.
Image source: picardoftarth
#11
Screen time is ongoing at my place. I’m 37weeks pregnant and I don’t think I could do toddlering without blues clues. When this baby comes I def will continue the screen time.
Survival.
Image source: MaleficentMouse666, cottonbro studio
#12
Not sure if this counts. But I want another baby to get a redo of the newborn days. We tried for years to get pregnant with fertility treatments and recurrent loss and I had a traumatic postpartum experience which drastically impacted our bond. Had to rush back to the hospital and was separated from her. Medical issue causing me to go back to the hospital prevented me from breastfeeding and I had no intention of formula feeding prior to this. And when we got back from the hospital she had wicked colic for 3 months and had multiple things wrong with her that took us 3 months to figure out and now she’s a high needs baby. She’s about 9 months and I just now feel like I’m coming out of my ppd fog and just now feel like I actually love my baby. I feel like I got robbed of delighting in the newborn stage, of delighting in my baby at all and I want a do over. I feel guilty as hell for even thinking this because I’m not even a good mom to the baby I have.
F**k now I’m crying 😭
Image source: jdawg92721, Tracey Shaw
#13
I have a son and I’m having him take dance class next year for many reasons. One is that the other option is gymnastics and I’m worried he’ll be really good at it, and that’s the sport I’m scared of most when it comes to injuries. I know the horror stories so for my own anxiety, please don’t add your horror stories here without a trigger warning. Pretty please.
My mil clearly doesn’t want him doing dance because she’s worried he’ll get bullied. He’s 4. Of kids are bullying him, show me their parents because they’re the reason for it. Kids this age love to dance by nature- I teach preschool- they all dance right now. It isn’t until they’re told that dancing is for girls that they stop, and it’s heartbreaking that this happens.
I tell my mil he’s dancing because of all the benefits: counting, rhythm, beat, memorization, crossing the midline, listening to directions, working as a team and as an individual… the list goes on. And while she can try and convince me of gymnastics, gymnastics doesn’t always have those things especially at the younger ages.
And if he doesn’t enjoy it, it will be his only year.
Image source: dried_lipstick
#14
• My daughter started sipping off my coffee at 13 months. She’s 6 now. If she asks for an ice coffee when I make my own I make her one too.
• We co slept from birth until she was 5. Her first 3 months were in a recliner. If I set her down she screamed for hours on end. I felt like I was losing my sanity from the exhaustion. That chair saved my life.
• We play a ton of video games together. We both have a Switch and LOVE it. I taught her Animal Crossing and she’s teaching me Minecraft. Sometimes we play for a few hours without breaks. Oops (but we also got a giant backyard water slide so she does get plenty of outdoor exercise I promise)
• I’ve never made her wear pants at home unless we had guests. To this day her go to outfit is a shirt and underwear. She even sleeps that way.
• Sometimes we just have Cinnamon Toast Crunch for breakfast.
Image source: Mushroom_Moonbeam, Tima Miroshnichenko
#15
I regret having my oldest child. He has ruined my life and I’m stuck in a hellscape I never wanted for myself. My literal only hope some days is that he leaves at 18.
Image source: redtonks, Liza Summer
#16
Oreos or a brownie for breakfast about 3-4 days a week. It’s not worth the meltdown and food refusal. We make up for it with our other meals and she usually doesn’t ask for any other sweets the rest of the day. Besides, I’d rather her have sugar earlier in the day than at night, after dinner, before bed.
Image source: GerardDiedOfFlu, Tijana Drndarski
#17
I’m tired of being nice to my kid all the time. She is like, the nicest lil 6 year old ever. Nice to toddlers. Popular with all ages. Sticks up for others. Would literally give me her last bite of ice cream if I asked.
But, oh, man, I want to scream I DONT F****N CARE!!! the next time she says “Mom, look at me…” do whatever inane thing she’s already done 10000x. I want to scream SHUT UP FOR ONE DAMN MINUTE every time she runs out of her limitless words and begins just making stupid noises to entertain herself. I want to say OMG I DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU the next time she hits me with a weaponized “you’re weeelllcooom” when she does the barest minimum of anything and I’m supposed to fall over myself with gratitude. I want to ignore her every time she narrates her every friggin action to me, oh hey, she’s telling me a riddle right now that makes no sense, oh god it’s still going and I’m smiling and pretending to get it. *Ha ha, that’s a good one.*
Seriously. The best kid ever. Teacher’s favorite. Emotional intelligence far beyond her years. I’m a monster. I would never actually say any of this.
But my poor brain, just let it hear itself think. Just let me be still. Let me stop having to react all the time.
Image source: throneofthornes, guille pozzi
#18
I use medical cannabis, I have a severe spinal injury that left me with neuropathy in my left leg, I don’t work either I’m a stay at home mom to my 5 and 2 year old. I get judged by my family a lot, even though I use a vape pen or edibles or cannabis oil, I don’t use it around the kids, and at this point with my pain it doesn’t give me a “ high” like everyone assumes, and of course I’ve had to explain again and again that I used to use narcotics and muscle relaxers but they would literally wipe out any energy I had so it wasn’t exactly a solution with kids thrown into everything. I’m very lonely because of it, the injury and my pain management method keep me from getting close to anyone really, and a lot of the cannabis friendly moms I have hung out with make it seem like that’s the only reason they want to hang out in the first place when I really really try to not make it a huge part of my personality or anything like that. I try really hard in the other areas of parenting to compensate for my lack of physical ability, like I can’t run around the back yard with my kids, or even take long walks around the neighborhood or the mall, it just sucks sometimes and I don’t really have anyone other than my husband to vent to.
Image source: unicornbirth, Gustavo Fring
#19
my 2.5yo had two slices of cheese and an ice cream sandwich for dinner
Image source: GroundbreakingTale24, Lisa Fotios
#20
I let my kids eat as much bacon and eggs as they want. It’s a lot.
Image source: anon, cottonbro studio
#21
I don’t usually bother to put anything more than a diaper on my one year old while we’re at home unless it’s cold or she’s going to bed. She eats in her pjs and they get covered in oatmeal, so I take them off and she just stays like that, not worth the fight and distress of the manhandling that she hates just so I can do even more laundry.
Also it’s interesting how even given the choice to watch as much TV and screens as she wants because I don’t limit it she watches only pretty much an hour a day.
Image source: PeachGotcha, Karolina Grabowska
#22
Screen time. Food. Too many toys. I’m a horrible mother. 🥺
Image source: Dwight-Shelford
#23
I rarely wash my kiddos hair. I brush it and she takes baths daily, but I can’t justify her screaming every night.
Image source: WeeklyPie, Ketut Subiyanto
#24
Oooh I have another one.
My baby slept on my chest the entire first 4 months of his life. There was no other way. If he was in his crib, I would stare at him endlessly. Make sure he was breathing. I only ever slept when someone else was home and watching him while he was awake. Once he started rolling around 4 months, I had no choice but to have him sleep in his crib. I watched him sleep every night. At 6 months, I started bedsharing and I was able to sleep more.
Image source: Inner-Membership-175, RDNE Stock project
#25
My son slept in our bed until he was like 13. (Years). Sometimes when he visits (he’s 23 now and turned out fine!!) he will still get in my bed with me and read or watch videos. He also camps out in our bed (on my side) when I’m not there, so I think he just likes our bed.
Image source: Apprehensive_Set_151, Mark Zamora
#26
My toddlers have unlimited TV time. As in.. it’s always on. I needed that background noise and distraction when I was home alone with twins, and now it’s just become a part of our lives.
Image source: dumdum_gutterslut, Ksenia Chernaya
#27
I put my three year old on one of those little dragon roller coaster things at a carnival today and she haaaaated it and I feel so bad! Like she’s scarred forever 😭 Like I messed her up 😞
I have a three week old and the 5 and 3 year old have gotten yelled too much, I’m so tired between healing and nursing and night feeds.
Meanwhile watch all the freaking tv you want. And here sweet girl, have some of my ice cream/soda when you sneak out of bed, shhhhh, don’t tell dad or your brother.
Image source: rc1025
#28
My 3 year old gets way more than an hour of screen time some days – especially if her baby sister is having a high maintenance day.
Image source: National-Loquat-2187, Jelleke Vanooteghem
#29
I only breast fed for three months and the whole time we were supplementing formula because I was going through what basically amounts to a psychotic break over the course of ten months…. Thanks PPD. I told the WIC office that I got sick and that cut off my supply. That was the only way they wouldn’t judge me.
Also, some nights my husband works my son and I stay up past his bed time and watch TV/eat ice cream together. He’s four, I know it’s not ideal but I work full time and the guilt eats me alive either way… might as well enjoy some empty calories with my kiddo!
Image source: oohrosie, MART PRODUCTION
#30
I don’t limit screen time and don’t want to, I feel no guilt over it at all. I don’t care what my kids eat as long as they are fed. I don’t care if they eat sweets, and my daughter will binge on them, and the result is she gets a stomach ache because that’s what happens when you binge on sweets. If we’re not leaving the house we wear pajamas, my daughter will wear the same night gown multiple days depending on her current favorite. I brush her hair after she showers and for school, otherwise I don’t bother because she has sensory issues and doesn’t need to look pretty at home. Swimming counts as bathing in the summer as long as they get a good bath like once a week (or if we have somewhere to be). I give my daughter (8) coffee, because she’s adhd same as me and her meds have lately caused a huge increase in anxiety so we stopped. She has a go to Starbucks order (iced vanilla latte) and we go about once a week.
I’m a stickler about actual safety issues but not things that are morally neutral and just culturally “shameful.”
Image source: needs_a_name, Drew Rae
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