Melrose Place 1.10 “Cahuenga” Recap

All bow down to the queen… NOW!

Amanda Woodward returned to Melrose Place last night and while she wasn’t the center of the attention tonight, boy did she leave a wammy of a cliffhanger ending!!!!! Also, the doors are slowly but surely closing on Auggie and Violet to the point that their scenes are unbearable to watch. Plus, Sydney’s murder just got even more interesting!!!!!

The Set Up

Jonah and Riley race to the newsstands to peep her new spread, which is everywhere! Even on the side of buses! The two rejoice!!

Back at WPK, Caleb and Ella discuss the Anton V launch party and how crucial it is for Ella to be near Riley at all times. Ella wishes she could be elsewhere and nowhere near Riley. When Caleb mentions that the orders are straight from New York, Ella disses the branch and AMANDA WOODWARD (special guest star Heather Locklear) STEPS INTO THE ROOM AND STEALS THE FRAKKING SCENE!!!!! It turns out that Amanda is not too pleased on how the branch is being ran as she goes deep in Caleb’s ass with each inch of her stiletto. She clearly hates the Anton V campaign and let’s Caleb know by counting the ways, while Ella looks on in awe. Let me sum the scene up perfectly.

Amanda: “You Could’ve Been A Leader, Caleb. But your focus shifted… from you client’s assets to you client’s ass. Your fired, Caleb. And get out! Take your balls and bat with you…”

ZZZZIIIINNNNG!!!!!!!!!! Let the one liners begin!!!!!

Amanda Begins… (again)

Amanda immediately takes over the LA branch of WPK (which she owns) and Ella quickly starts puckering up to Amanda’s ass by saying that Amanda is the reason for Ella’s career choice. Amanda gives a whatever and tells her that she knows about Ella’s past and is only impressed about the skeletons in Ella’s closet (absent father and pill-popping mother) rather than her aspirations. I bet this comes up again later. Amanda also thinks that Ella needs to step her game up since she had insight that Riley was not “real” enough to do the Anton V jeans ad. So Amanda gives Ella her first test: make the the press think that Riley is from the hood and not a “brownstone kid” so that she can be more relatable. Hmm… frak it. It’s Amanda Woodward, for Christ Sakes!!!!! I’ll roll with that! But Ella catches morals and Amanda doesn’t play that crap and tells her that if she doesn’t do it then someone else will be Amanda’s lap dog.

When Riley sees her “bio”, she freaks. Ella tries to console Riley through Riley’s sympathy by saying that if Riley doesn’t lie, then Ella will lose her job. Ella also throws in the reminder that if Riley refuses to cooperate with publicity then the ten grand is history. Jonah tells Riley she doesn’t have to do it, but Riley says its her time to pay the bills and she will do it only for that reason only.

Ella returns to work and sees Caleb still there. He warns Ella of Amanda’s presence, which according to him is the equivalent of Sasquatch being located on the beach in broad view. He claims that Amanda is up to something and it has to do with Ella, since Amanda wanted to know a lot about her. Ella doesn’t buy it and let is be known that Caleb is last month’s issue. She is on the ladder up and Amanda is guide now.

At the party, Riley is bombarded by the press and poor little Jonah is pushed to the side. Ella tells him that his day will come, he just has to wait. Meanwhile, Ella has to practically babysit Riley from not saying or doing anything that goes against her press release. Amanda makes sure to let Ella know that she is monitoring her every move and to not screw this up.

While Amanda frolicks, Ella is approached by a sexy Aussie woman named Melissa Sax, who wants Ella to ditch WPK and to attend a meeting in the bedroom with her. Melissa and Ella make out (which was kinda hot), but Melissa wants Ella to really come over to her talent firm and ditch Amanda and WPK. But Ella says that her heart and her life belongs to WPK.

Later, Riley finally snaps under the pressure and lets the press know the truth. Then she and Jonah leave while a frantic Ella chases after them. Amanda then comes and gives Ella the third degree before telling her to be at a certain spot the next day at 1 o’clock.

Uh oh!

After Ella leaves, Amanda runs into Melissa, who lets Amanda know that Ella is legit and is loyal to Amanda and Amanda only. LOVE HER!!!! Melissa then asks Amanda if they are even. Hmm, what does Amanda have on her?!

At the lunch meeting, Amanda asks Ella what will she do to make up for the faux pas of the night before. Ella pleads her case, but Amanda tells her that she can’t dissect friends from her career, which is kind of true since most of Ella’s saves this season has been from friends. So Amanda ups the ante after Ella declares how much WPK means to her. Now Amanda wants for Ella to snitch on Riley for using sick days to do the photo shoot and I am like DAMN, AMANDA! REALLY?!?!?!

But Ella decides to put her foot down on this one and feels that selling out someone to be like Amanda Woodward is too rich for her blood. Boy my friends and associates better be glad I love them…

Back at the apartments, Jonah and Riley celebration is cut short when Riley gets a phone call from the school berating Riley for what the sick days and then firing her. Riley is hurt, but Jonah wants her to fight it, but she can’t because it sounds like it was in the bylaws of the teaching position. After Riley declares that they don’t have a steady flow of income, Jonah offers to take up the slack with a bookkeeping job. While the couple discuss this, Ella listens from their window and feels like crap when she realizes that Amanda is no bluff. That Amanda Woodward!! Ya gotta love her!!!!

“You Don’t Need That… You Need Someone Who Believes in You!”

David gets a text from Violet saying that Auggie got busted for Syd’s murder. David goes to talk to Auggie, who stands by his innocent plea. Auggie also says that someone had to have planted the knife on David and is trying to set both of them up. David knows only one demented person who could do that: Michael Mancini, his father.

David posts bail for Auggie and brings him back to the complex, where everyone gives him an icy welcome, including the person he least expected: Riley. Just to note, Jonah was super smug the entire time, kinda growing a dislike for dude. Anyway, the only arms that welcome Auggie is Violet, who tries to be his support rock while Auggie cleans up his smashed apartment. But Auggie tells Violet that it would be best to stay away from him or everyone else will turn on her as well. But Violet has gotten a taste of Auggie and doesn’t want to let go. She thinks that it has something to do with their night of passion, and tells him that she expected a phone call. Auggie admits that he messed up, but wants to be just friends. It’s a wonder she didn’t take him out on the spot, but this coupling isn’t over by far.

When Riley and Jonah return home from the launch party, Auggie tries to talk to Riley about ratting him out. Jonah butts in and makes matters worse. Again, gaining dislike for Jonah. When Auggie asks Riley if she really think he did it, she doesn’t answer immediately. After the two hot heads leave, Auggie is pissed. And he eyes a bottle of an alcoholic beverage.

Uh-Oh!

Now I have to ask who leaves a rack of expensive ass alcoholic beverages in the middle of an unmanned apartment courtyard open for anyone to grab? Wouldn’t that place be Wino Central?!

Anyway, Auggie sits and sweats about the plunge he is about to take by drinking. Violet walks in and I swear she has to have a window seat of the apartment complex. She tells Auggie that forget them mofos over there and that he doesn’t need them, but Auggie declares that he does care what they think. I mean come on! They think he’s a murderer! So Auggie takes the bottle and open it and then we have Violet’s Crazy Moment of the Week bestowed to us as Violet turns into Super Crazy, with her own theme music mind you, and tells Auggie: “You don’t need that. You need someone who believes in you!” She takes off her shirt and the wild hair, the eyes, and the background music was too much for me NOT to laugh at what was transpiring in my peripheral. Violet takes down Auggie and the two go at it like rabid animals knocking over everything in site, including the bottle of whiskey that shatters on impact on the floor.

David and Laura: The Most Unlikely Duo

David continues to pursue Lauren and he finds out about how Lauren misses the fall weather of her hometown. When he tries to persuade her to go to a movie with him, she turns him down.

Later, Lauren shows up at the launch party and she asks Riley if she had seen David. Riley figures out that there is something between David and Lauren, who she teases about it. Lauren then tells Riley that she feels that her and David are not going to happen with her workload (tell me about it…) Riley preaches that Lauren wouldn’t know that unless she tried it. Lauren returns home to find that David has cooked dinner and decked her apartment out in fall colors complete with leaves, something Lauren remarked that she missed. The two let the mood get to them and they get hot and heavy until Lauren stops and tells David that she doesn’t want to end up like one of his girls. David assures Lauren that she is not like any other girl he ever dated. That’s enough for her to calm down and the two eat instead of freaking.

How romantic! The thief and the call girl. Could be a show!

Sydney. What. The. Hell?!?!?

David goes to pay the Mancini mansion a visit for something incriminating, but runs into herself, Vanessa. She gives David the “get off my property” speech and David tells her that if he wants Noah to be safe. then she will need to leave Michael and head for the hills. David also throws in Michael’s treacherous and maniacal nature, which Vanessa says is impossible.

David also tells Vanessa about Sydney and Michael’s tryst and how Sydney was going to tell Vanessa about it before she was murdered. Now, Vanessa really wants David gone. But David comes back late that night and breaks in, but finds nothing. He calls Auggie with the news, and Auggie tells him to find somewhere that Vanessa wouldn’t be caught snooping in. David spies Michael’s Lamborghini (?) and searches it to find Sydney’s necklace she wore the night she was murdered hidden under the floor board.

Oh, and didn’t I mention it’s bloody as hell!??!?!

Dun, Dun, DUUUUNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!

Later, David tells Ella about his findings and asks for Ella to help clear Auggie’s name with her connections at WPK.

But, who is this walking around in Sydney’s apartment? It’s Amanda Woodward, of course, and she isn’t looking just to be nostalgic, either. The one thing I did NOT expect was for her to go into Sydney’s bedroom closet and find a hidden panel that she knew was there. The hidden panel contained a safe, which Amanda knows the code to!!!! But what Amanda thought she was going to find wasn’t in there.

Only a note from Sydney that only said: “Amanda, you will NEVER find it! – Sydney”

You can almost hear the “Nyah Nhyah!!!” from Sydney and I am floored!!!!!

WHAT THE HELL DOES AMANDA WOODWARD HAVE TO DO WITH SYDNEY?!?!?!!?!?!

Amanda’s Corner

– So did Amanda knock it out the park or what?!?!?! She came in and kicked so much ass that I had to wake up to take notes and stay focused for her next zinger. True, she wasn’t all over the episode, but her presence was felt and it will cloud the lives of the residents of 4616 Melrose Place pretty soon. “Bring it” is all I got to say…

– Does anyone think that Ella could be of some relation or whatnot to Amanda? I know that Amanda is an only child, but maybe a distant cousin or something? Or did Amanda put together that Ella worked for WPK AND stayed at her old address and Ella is just a key into the apartment? Hmm…

Stay tuned, because she is back in top form!