You know, in the old days, it was customary for a father, upon learning about the birth of his child, to prepare some special gift for the baby. For example, a new house, a horse, a fancy weapon or household utensils – depending on the financial status of the family. By the way, in many cultural traditions, this practice is preserved even today.
Well, we don’t actually know if the user u/No-Local188, the narrator of today’s story, is familiar with this tradition, but her husband is definitely going to give her and the child a “special gift” – just recently he announced that he wants to leave them, despite almost ten years of being in a relationship.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post recently got married to her longtime partner and is now 5.5 months pregnant
Image credits: Arteida MjESHTRI / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
However, the man told the mom-to-be that he feels they’re “no more compatible” and that he wants to walk out
Image credits: No-Local188
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Now the guy wants a divorce, and suggests coparenting after childbirth – but still sometimes offers her intimacy, the woman says
Image credits: No-Local188
Image credits: wavebreakmedia_micro / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman feels completely blindsided now and doesn’t actually know what to do
Image credits: No-Local188
So the author decided to take this situation online, seeking for both netizens’ support and advice
The Original poster (OP) tells us that she’s 29 years old, the same age as her husband, and although they got married quite recently – six months ago, in fact – their relationship has been going on for nine years. During their honeymoon, the couple conceived a child, and our heroine already had a premonition of a happy family life with a baby… but her hubby gave her a terrible “surprise.”
The man said that it was now, when she was 5.5 months pregnant, that he began to realize that they were actually “incompatible.” Yes, the guy says that he “loves” his wife, but he’s unsure whether he’s “in love with her.” That’s exactly the rhetoric – interpret it as you will. Perhaps it’s simply the influence of his family, who never wanted to see them together, who knows?
What the OP still can’t get is why it was necessary to wait for nine whole years, wait for her pregnancy – and suddenly “realize” something? And why the man sincerely believed that they were completely compatible before. Now the guy insists on a divorce and offers coparenting when their child is born – but he doesn’t want to be together anymore.
What’s also interesting is that the ex-to-be sometimes still offers our heroine intimacy – but she, in her own words, constantly refuses now. She feels like her familiar world is shaking before her eyes and is almost collapsing. At least, it’s dangerously close to collapsing. So the woman simply took this online, expecting some kind of advice or support from netizens.
Image credits: Eduardo Ramos / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
“It’s sad to see how an adult actually refuses the responsibility that marriage and impending parenthood impose on him, covering it up with mere words about ‘incompatibility,’” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment on this situation.
“So, for a whole decade, when living together was just a vacation, moments of intimacy and entertainment for him, he felt completely compatible with his partner – and her pregnancy suddenly called everything into question? But, excuse me, such things don’t actually happen. More precisely, it does, but in bad movies or TV series, not in real life.”
“As for the influence of family – if after so many years together, after the news of the upcoming fatherhood, he is ready to give in to some advice from relatives and walk out – well, then he is partially right in just one thing – they really are incompatible. But only because of him, and not because of her. Yes, it will be difficult, but the husband showed his true colors – that’s it,” Irina sums up.
People in the comments also massively supported this woman, claiming that she needed to separate from her husband, and try to return, perhaps, to her relatives, to start life anew. “You absolutely need to be 100% selfish right now and take care of yourself in order to be able to care for your child,” someone summarized quite wisely. So do you, our dear readers, also agree with this conclusion?
Most commenters unanimously backed the woman, urging her to leave this man and try to start her life anew with her future baby
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