Usually, we do things without thinking about them too much, especially if they are something simple. Unless you’re an overthinker, but that’s a topic for another day.
Well, turns out, sometimes these common things may be something that makes you a suspect for a crime perpetrator. So, to make you more mindful of what you’re doing, especially in cases where law enforcement is involved, we present you with a list of others’ mistakes. Let’s jump in, shall we?
More info: Reddit
#1
My sort-of step dad failed a roadside sobriety test. He was taken to the county jail where he registered 0.0 BAC…because he hadn’t been drinking. I watched this happen. His lack of coordination is legendary.
Image source: 15blinks, freepik
#2
I was once pulled over in a s****y neighborhood. Being of a race that was not endemic to the area, the police asked to search my car. I (stupidly, I was young and foolish, get off my nuts) said yes, and then jokingly added “remember though, this is my mom’s car, so any cr**k is hers.”
…
Second search, canine search, and intimidating personal search all turn up nothing. I learned never to speak to the police and all it cost me was a little dignity and a few constitutional rights.
Image source: Das_Shootenheime, Kindel Media
#3
Wrote a book called “If I Did It”.
#4
My friend was speeding and saw a cop turn around for him. So he went faster to try and get to an exit to get away, ended up getting pulled over by another cop. The cop asked him what he was doing in such a hurry and he said “Trying to get away from another cop”. Ya, he got a ticket.
Image source: msmouse05, David Henry
#5
Not innocent, but stupid nontheless. We were all drinking in a hotel room one time and got a little too loud. Almost everyone was over 21 but one of our friends was still only 20. A cop showed up to give a noise complaint and asked how old we were. Everyone said 21 or 22 except our friend who said, “16 sir.” The cop looked at him real strange and said he needed to check his ID. He looked at it for a second and said, “This says you’re 20.” He replies, “I know sir, I thought I would get in less trouble if I was under 17.” The cop tells him, “You’re real stupid boy, you know that?” and told us to quiet down.
Image source: the_dayman, freepik
#6
There was a case years ago where a man had been accused from breaking into vending machines and parking meters. The constantly denied the charges then had his bail paid… in coin.
#7
A woman came into the shop where I was working and tried to pay with a fake 10 euro note.
The cashier noticed straight away and told her that he’d have to keep the note and that it couldn’t be accepted as payment.
She became really indignant and said that she had received the note in her change from our shop the day before.
She insisted that since we had (allegedly) given her the note, we had to accept it as payment.
Eventually the police were called.
An officer arrived and we explained the situation. We were all annoyed that this woman was making such a big deal about it.
The officer asked her if she had known the money was fake before she tried to pay for things with it.
She said she knew.
>I just want to be clear, if you knew the note was fake and tried to use it, that’s a very serious offence.
he paused
> On the other hand if you *hadn’t* noticed it was fake, it would just be an honest mistake and there’d be no problem.
She replied
> I definitely knew it was fake because they gave it to me yesterday in my change!
We all rolled our eyes as the officer proceeded
> I regret to inform you Ma’am that you are under arrest …
**tl;dr**
Policeman tells woman not to incriminate herself, she does anyway.
Image source: declancostello, luis_molinero
#8
My cousin was at his older brother’s college party, and it go so rowdy that the police came to break it up. The music is off, and they’ve rounded everyone up, and the cop asks, “Okay, who here has been drinking underage?”
He raises his hand without hesitation. He was the only one.
Image source: ReallyShouldStudy, gpointstudio
#9
Not a cop or a lawyer, but a security guard. There these two people on the property I was overseeing, not illegal and they co-operated when i asked for ID to note who was on the property after hours. When I went back to my booth, and they then procedded to slash the tires and break the windows on my patrol car, all the while saying I cant arrest them because im not a real cop. I guess they forgot I had their names, ID numbers, Licence plate number, and faces documented and on camera. They were aressted 8 hours later.
Image source: Entrophic_Lovemaking, DC Studio
#10
Get dispatched to a domestic violence call. Female said her husband punched her in the face and the ribs. Female has multiple scrapes and marks on her face and ribs. My partner asks if he hit his wife and he says yes. Partner asks him why he punched her in the face and ribs (meaning WHAT led to the physical violence. Guy says, “Well I was punching her in the face but then she covered her face. So I had to work the body so she would drop her hands. Then I went right back to the face.” He explains this as he mimes a Mike Tyson-esk bob and weave. Greatest confession ever.
Image source: SWATCop2288, freepik
#11
My previous firm represented a small time hood, B and E (breaking and entering) specialist who loved gambling on horse races. He’d visit the same TAB daily for years and he would spend his daylight hours putting bets on the trots, greyhounds and anything else that came his way. His night time hours were spent robbing people to fund his daytime lifestyle. He knew everyone in the TAB and they knew him. One day, after spending all day at the venue, he managed to lose about $30K on the horses. He thought to himself “f**k this, I’m going home to get a gun and getting my money back”. He goes home, doesn’t bother to change his clothes (been in the same place all day under CCTV), grabs his shotgun, puts on a balaclava and goes back to do an armed rob of the place he’s been at all day. He runs in, pulls out his gun and and screams at the cashier “gimme all your f*****g money!” The cashier recognizes his voice and his clothes, he yells back “Jimmy (alias) you f*****g idiot, put that gun away!” Jimmy’s response? “It’s not me, I swear it’s not me!….
#12
So when we were 16, my friend was driving alone at night on his moped. It’s fairly common in Norway to drive a moped with illegal modifications to the engine (they’re reeeeally slow and you can’t drive a car until you’re 18 here), so when the blue lights flashed behind him, he figured “f**k it,” and tried to outrun them.
He makes a u-turn and heads for our old middle school. Then reaches back to flip the license plate up. He makes it through the school and loses them, as the car can’t chase him through a narrow path he took. However, the license plate fell off when he tried to flip it, and they just drive to his home later the same night.
Dude got a ticket and 2 months suspension on his license. Funny thing is, they weren’t even trying to pull him over. They were on their way to something else, but the random u-turn made them suspicious.
Image source: deleted, wirestock_creators
#13
I am a traffic cop in the UK and we were filming for one of these Road Wars / Police Interceptors / Traffic Cops T.V shows. As aprt of the show, they ask us to do some filming of pulling people over and doing routine stops. So we decide that the next car to go through the set of lights we are currently at will get pulled over and we’ll record what we do as part of a routine traffic stop.
So this guy goes through in a normal manner and we follow behind, pull him over in a safe location and we all pile out of the car. I’m walking over to the driver side and about to explain to the guy that we’re filming for this show and they just want to see what happens during a routine stop check. He rolls down the window and immediately, before i could even say a word, blurts “It’s in the glovebox”
with a puzzled look on my face, i ask him what’s in the glovebox “The d***s” comes the reply, so i detain him, cuff him and put him in the back of the traffic car and my colleague and I search the glovebox and find a substantial amount of h****n.
When asked back at the station why he admitted the offence he said he saw the 2 police cars (one was a backup car) and all the yellow jackets (of the camera crew) and thought the game was up…. If only he knew….
(Technically he was actually innocent because he hadn’t commited an obvious crime up until that point).
Image source: throwaway23984721, Ahmet Kurt
#14
Everyone is posting stories of them – or someone else – confessing and getting into s**t. My story is different. I confessed and got off scot free!
Here is my tale:
I had met up with a friend that I hadn’t seen in a bunch of years and out of melancholy and indifference as to where to go, we ended up just buying a couple six packs and sitting in front of our old high school, in my car, while drinking them. So we’re sitting there just listening to music and laughing about the old times and I notice this one car has gone up and down the steet a couple times with 2 dudes in it and watching us. The moment I point this out to my friend they pull a u-turn and block our path while flashing their badges – not that we were even thinking of driving off.
I quickly give my beer to my buddy and tell him to dump it out his window but he must’ve been a little more drunk than I though ‘cuz he just sat there looking at me while the cop came up and tapped on my window. Now he’s asking us what we’re up to and checking my license and I’m explaining why we’re there and stuff. After like 10 minutes of checks and nothing comes up, they give back my license and they just stays there chatting with us while my buddy still has the beers in his hands!! We end up talking about their kids and growing up etc etc and in the end when the conversation just flounders a little, they’re just like**I S**T YOU NOT**
“ok well, take it easy guys. you can have one more beer and then you’re going to have to continue drinking at home”.
we finished our beers and take off without even a written warning!
#15
“I didn’t steal her jacket, I was only holding it so I can hit her better.”
Maybe not robbery, but definitely a*****t!
#16
As a firefighter we once rolled up to a car accident, where this kid about 17 years old had run into the concrete pillar under a highway overpass. Car was totally wrecked, kids arm was broken in 3 or 4 places and was bleeding pretty bad. the first thing he said to me when I got up to his drivers side window? “The car is not stolen, there is no reason to call the cops” normally people say stuff like, “I’m hurt bad” or “get me out of here” but not this guy, he just kept repeating “the car is not stolen” over and over, we called the cops :).
Image source: firefighter14, diana.grytsku
#17
a few years ago me and my friend were smoking in the school toilets and he got caught but I was in the clear, and the teacher went “Is there anyone else in there?!” and I said “No”. Saturday detention.
Image source: [deleted], fabrikasimf
#18
I interned at a district attorney’s office. When the victim of an armed robbery was on direct examination, the prosecutor asked: “Ms. ____, can you identify the man who stole your purse at gun point?” She pointed to the defendant, and when everyone looked at him, he was raising his hand.
Image source: ltdevil, freepik
#19
I’m a law student, and a professor told us today about her worst one from when she worked as a public defender. Apparently, a convicted felon was riding his motorcycle when he saw a cop issuing a traffic ticket to someone else on the side of the road. He pulled over his motorcycle, walked up to the cop, and said “Excuse me officer, I’m a convicted felon and have h****n in my pocket.” As his public defender, she asked him why the hell he would ever do that. His answer? “Well, he was gonna catch me eventually.”.
Image source: kranzmonkey, senivpetro
#20
I’ve heard about the old DUI gotcha when the response to “Recite the alphabet backwards” is “I couldn’t even do that if i were sober!” – but I don’t know if that’s just an urban legend or not. It sounds like something one might reasonably say in response, though.
Image source: GlitterponyExpress, MART PRODUCTION
#21
Dunno if this counts but: when I was training as a PPO my trainer told me about a guy that ran for no reason once. A Hispanic male was pulled over. He had no license or any proper documentation. It’s so common here that many officers just write tickets and avoid deportation. Anyway when asked for his license the guy freaked out. He waited for his chance and then took off on foot. That prompted a whole chase that eventually included canine. The officers didn’t know why he ran and it’s generally safe to assume someone who runs is dangerous. So canine gets in there and he does something to p**s the dog off. The dog chews off his calf muscle. When asked why he ran the guy just said he was scared. I don’t know if he was charged. I doubt it though. It was a s****y situation.
tl; dnr: please don’t run from the police.
Image source: anon, katemangostar
#22
drunk driver said: “i swear i had nothing to drink, operator!” to the police officer….
Image source: customs, Łukasz Promiler
#23
Not innocent but definitely incriminated himself. There was a guy not too long ago picked up on petit larceny (he was going to be out in a month or two). On the way to the prison he freaks out, jumps a couple razor wire fences and escapes. Not only did he get a bunch of very serious lacerations but now he’s on the hook for escape (felony, at least a year)
Image source: [deleted], Isaac Iverson
#24
My brother didn’t exactly incriminate himself, but he sure made himself unpopular: He was DJing on a party boat when they got raided. Just as the police were boarding their boat, and he claims he didn’t do it intentionally, having only noticed the police after the record was spinning, he played out KRS One’s “Sound of Da Police” and, of course, a fair number of the party goers were joining in with the “Whoop whoop”. The police were not amused, taking it to be a deliberate attempt at humor at their expense. Record got taken off. My brother got an ear full.
#25
When i got a DUI they asked me how many drinks i’ve had and how long it’s been since i had my last drink .. my reply was short and sweet. “skip”
Image source: cigsbeerandweed, Łukasz Promiler
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