Ending a marriage or a relationship is almost never about just one thing. You start seeing your partner with different eyes, and once that feeling sets in, it’s hard to see the relationship the same way.
The last straw that changes everything maybe isn’t even the worst thing your partner has done. It can be something smaall that follows years of feeling ignored or unappreciated, or even months of arguing and getting distanced.
Wondering what finally makes someone leave, Reddit users have shared the moments that pushed their marriages to the breaking point. From surprising discoveries and painful betrayals to everyday letdowns that say a lot, these stories show that the final straw can look very different in each relationship.
#1
Kid had a project due for school. “My Family”
He drew me cooking, his grandparents taking him to the park, his sibling playing with him.
He drew the back of his father’s head outlined by a computer monitor. Labeled it, “My daddy plays on the computer”.
Yup. We’re done. Took me a few months to get the ducks lined up and then told him I needed to talk to him. He was so outraged I had the nerve to bother him that he screamed OMG, punched his power button, threw his mouse and rounded on me: What is so important you made me do THAT!?
Im leaving you.
He just kinda deflated and to his credit, said, “I guess I don’t have to ask you why.”
Image source: kifferella, Kamaji Ogino / Pexels
#2
I begged him to have a date night at home, just us watching a movie, no phones, physically touching or cuddling. He reluctantly agreed, immediately forgot, got irritated with me when I reminded him, hadn’t thought at all about what he might want to watch, didn’t agree to anything I suggested, and then put on the one, single tv show I had told him I hated, pulled his phone back out, and asked me to scootch over to the other end of the couch so he could have some space.
I told my therapist that I just wished more than anything that he would ask me for a divorce, so I wouldn’t have to feel guilty about it.
I asked him if I could go out with friends on a Saturday night, and he said “I feel like you don’t want to spend time with me,” and I realized he was absolutely right. Took off work, drove home early and told him that afternoon.
Image source: quiet_dragonfly1, Vitaly Gariev / Pexels
Divorce might seem more common these days, especially with so many stories about unhappy marriages on social media. However, the data shows a more complex picture. From 1990 to 2022, divorce rates in OECD countries varied: 13 countries saw increases, while 16 experienced declines.
Marriage has changed as well. In OECD countries, the average age at first marriage went up from 25 to almost 32 for women and from 28 to 34 for men between 1990 and 2021. More people are also choosing to live together without getting married, so to understand modern relationships, we need to look at more than just divorce rates.
#3
He was out in our garage throwing and smashing things because some wood project wasn’t going the way he wanted. This wasn’t abnormal at all, and I’d say, it was remarkably common. As was tradition, the dog would anxiously come and sit by me for comfort. We were both stressed/anxious! I said to him ‘yea buddy, me too’. And then whatever synapse needed to connect finally did. My next thought was.. why am I in my own house feeling uneasy about the person who supposedly loves me the most? Took me a few weeks to get things together, but that final synapse did the trick!
Image source: what_is_any_of_this, Samson Katt / Pexels
#4
He was unhappy with his life. Blamed me for never letting him be the man he knew he could become. I supported his attempts at going back to school, twice, he dropped out each time. Took us awhile to pay off those bills. I supported job changes when he was unhappy where he was. He wanted me to quit both of my jobs because he felt that I would then have to depend solely on him and it would force him to become the man he knew he could be. I told him I was willing to quit my job and become a SAHM (like he wanted) if he could hold a job for 6 months and pay all of the bills while we put my paychecks into savings. I said prove you can do that and I’ll quit. He couldn’t/wouldn’t. We are in our mid-40’s and he’s had more jobs in the last 2 years than I have had my entire working history.
Anyways, we have a chronically ill child. When she was younger she would have seizures (she’s been seizure free for years now thankfully). One night she was super sick, had a high fever and was lethargic. I’m pacing back and forth in the living room debating on if I want to take her to the ER because I was worried the high temps would trigger a seizure. It’s the middle of the night and he’s screaming at me. I’m a jerk, I ruined his life, I’m a terrible person. He regrets marrying me. Whatever hurtful thing he thinks of, he says. And I asked him something like “what would you do if your daughter came to you and told you her partner was speaking to her this way”? And he shrugged his shoulders and said “if she deserves it” and kept telling me what a terrible person I was. I happened to look up and see my oldest daughter sitting at the top of the stairs watching it all. I knew then I was done.
Image source: JustCallInSick, Gustavo Fring / Pexels
If it feels like divorce is more common these days, American statistics tell a different story. The U.S. Census Bureau reports that the annual divorce rate for women aged 15 and older dropped from 9.8 per 1,000 in 2012 to 7.1 in 2022. Meanwhile, the marriage rate stayed about the same.
These numbers go against the belief that divorce rates always go up each year. They show why it’s important to look at long-term trends instead of trusting personal impressions or viral stories. Keep in mind, though, that these statistics are for the United States, and other countries may have different trends.
#5
I came home from a 10 day business trip overseas. She didn’t even acknowledge me coming home.
That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Seems so trivial now (10 years later) but at the time it was everything culminating in a moment.
The next day, on our walk to the gym, I said, ‘I think there’s something we’re both thinking but are too afraid to say…’ and she stole my thunder by blurting out ‘i think we should separate…’
No joke, it was as if all the weight of our 8 year marriage – all the anxiety and stress and unhappiness and low self esteem – just floated off my shoulders. One of the most memorable days of my life so far.
Image source: tedsgloriousmustache, Alena Darmel / Pexels
#6
Discovered her family is deeply enmeshed. Her parents tried to control every aspect of our lives – holidays, birthdays, summers, you name it, nothing was done without their say so. She refused to admit there was a problem, and I completely lost interest.
Image source: Juvitky77, MART PRODUCTION / Pexels
Even when a marriage ends, it often lasts longer than people think. In the United States, the median length of a first marriage before divorce was 13 years for men and 14 years for women in 2024. Back in 2008, the median was 11 years for both.
So, most marriages that end in divorce last more than ten years, though everyone’s experience is different. These numbers don’t show how long all marriages last, since they only look at first marriages that end in divorce. Still, they help us start to understand how relationships change over time.
#7
When he screamed at me for not picking up the ER medical records for our child being in the hospital a week prior because he wanted his dad to look at them. While he had spent the entire week playing video games while I cared for an 18 month old with pneumonia. That’s when I knew it was over.
I spent the next year putting all the pieces into place and making one last attempt at therapy. It was bad enough my daddy pulled me aside at the kids 2nd birthday and offered to pay for a lawyer. Almost exactly a year later, I filed.
My life is so much better now.
Image source: CodexAnima, Tima Miroshnichenko / Pexels
#8
She ran up huge credit card debt behind my back. She went through bankruptcy and swore never to touch another credit card.
Five years later, she got another credit card.
Image source: lucky_ducker, Tim Douglas / Pexels
#9
While working from home, my wife had just come home from shopping at a custom, boutique clothing store (where she spent thousands). Excitedly, I asked to see the outfits that she purchased and she got frustrated and upset with me (which was unfortunately common at this point in our relationship). 10 months prior I discovered a long-term affair she was having and she was having a very hard time letting go of the affair partner. She had become increasingly hostile towards me. I said “I can live in the same home as you while you mourn the loss of your affair partner, but I need you to be kinder to me”. Her response was “it’s never enough for you. It takes energy and effort to be kind to you. And I need to save that energy for my mental health, our children and getting a job.” I knew in that exact moment the relationship was unsalvageable. It took me another 10 months before I finally had the courage to leave.
Image source: happypuppyvoice, Getty Images / Pexels
People often talk about age when discussing why some marriages last while others end. Many studies show that marrying young is linked to a higher risk of divorce, but this does not mean that marrying early always leads to a failed marriage. Other factors can affect both when people get married and how their relationships turn out.
A study on marriage patterns in China found that women who married between ages 20 and 25 did not have a higher risk of divorce after researchers considered the specific factors involved. These results question the idea that waiting longer always leads to a more stable marriage, though the findings might not be the same in every country or age group.
#10
She faked a cancer screening in her inner leg, and needed a biopsy, turns out she got an abortion and the baby was not mine. Yep still feeling it 2 years later.
Image source: Legitimate_Citron694, Getty Images / Unsplash
#11
When he was screaming at me and I looked over and saw my 7 year old cowering in the corner with tears in his eyes worried he was next. Even though I took the brunt, 7YO saw it all.
Image source: cheesusismygod, Rahul Negi / Pexels
#12
When he, after 18 years together and three kids, cheated on me, while I was at my lowest, with a coworker at the job I helped him get after a career changing health issue, instead of trying to arrange any counseling like I had been asking for the last ten or more months.
Oh, but now… he sure can figure out how to find therapists that his insurance covers. He can vet them and schedule appointments, too. Go figure. In fact, there’s ALL KINDS of shit he’s managed to do since “coming clean” that he just couldn’t before. Guilt… the great motivator.
Image source: smurfgrl417, Antoni Shkraba / Pexels
Education helps explain why divorce trends are different across groups. A study of American women from 2006 to 2019 showed that overall, fewer marriages ended in divorce, but the trend depended on education level. Women with higher education saw fewer divorces, while those with less education had a different experience.
These differences show that relationship stability is not just about personal choices. Factors like financial security, job opportunities, and access to resources can affect the challenges couples face. Still, education alone does not explain everything. Two people with similar education can have very different marriages, depending on their situations and how they connect with each other.
#13
We were together from 17 to 28. Married at 22. Had a baby at 23.
First straw was when he told me when our daughter was 2 that I trapped him with a child. Apparently I took that the wrong way.
Last straw was him gripping my arm and twisting it while I was holding our daughter at 3 and trying to leave. He said he would report me for driving without a license and let cps take her from me if I tried to leave. My daughter cried “daddy be nice to mommy”.
I knew then I didnt want her growing up with all the fighting. I was already doing it alone with him there, might as well be really alone. I have no regrets, my daughters step dad is amazing, spoils us both with love and let’s OUR daughter know everyday shes our world.
Image source: TooOldForYourShit32 •, kaboompics / Pexels
#14
We had gone out for dinner & drinks with friends. Dinner was at this very gourmet restaurant and my then-husband was a somewhat picky eater so he didn’t eat as much as the rest of us. At the bar, he kept knocking back old fashioneds (which are bourbon & not much else). I seemed to be the only one who could see that mostly empty stomach plus too much alcohol wasn’t going to end well so I kept trying to slow him down. Meanwhile, the friend whose sibling owned the bar kept getting us more drinks and every time I’d try to intercept, my then-husband would get pissy with me for “ruining his fun.”
Fine. Okay.
To the surprise of everyone but me, he ended up blackout drunk. So here I am trying to guide a very drunk man who is angry at me back to our hotel. We got to an intersection and he was about to just walk right off the sidewalk so I pulled him back. He turned to me and in the most vicious voice said, “God, why do you always have to be such a jerk?”
I got him back to the room, settled in bed, and I knew he wasn’t going to remember anything in the morning. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back because our relationship had been going downhill for a while, but that was the moment that I realized if I was such a jerk for trying to keep him safe then obviously he didn’t think much of me.
Image source: Sufficient_Drama_145, Timur Weber / Pexels
#15
Somehow, we got bedbugs in our house. Apparently they’re endemic around here, so no shame in accidentally getting them, but shame in keeping them. Ex is a hoarder. He would not let me get rid of part of the hoard in the bedroom so that I could steam the floor, the walls, and the wooden bedframe to get rid of them. He said, with a verbal shrug, “They’re not biting me, so there’s no problem.”
Meanwhile I looked like I had rolled in nettles.
And he was Shocked! and Surprised! when I left.
Image source: LadyAlexTheDeviant, cottonbro studio / Pexels
Sometimes, the decision to leave follows a major betrayal. In other cases, it happens after years of frustration, when they finally see that the relationship no longer meets their needs. This realization can bring sadness, anger, guilt, or even relief. Often, people feel several of these emotions at the same time instead of following a single, predictable path.
A study of 3,734 separations involving 2,709 people in Germany found that the circumstances of a breakup can affect how people adjust emotionally. Those who started the separation, found a new partner, or felt supported by friends and family often reported fewer negative emotions. These results show that choosing to leave does not always lead to instant happiness, but the situation can influence what happens next.
#16
Still haven’t done it. She completely destroyed my self esteem. Everything I do is wrong. She hates my parents. Doesn’t work. I reached a point where I don’t even care or respect myself. I love my job and keeps me going. I’m so much happier and relieved when I leave home for work. I know deep down what I should do, but haven’t done it yet.
Image source: vsRushy, Getty Images / Unsplash
#17
She could put on the sweetest most loving act in the world. That’s why I stuck with her in those moments where she’d blow up and blame everything on me at the drop of a hat. Even after she convinced me to move in with her, start working at her local business, put me on a family phone plan with her, and badmouthed me to the customers behind my back, and isolated me from seeing friends she did not approve of, I just figured I had to prove to her that I wasn’t this bad guy she frequently accused me of being. Even in the midst of these blow ups when she’d shut my phone off, take anything of value away from me, and endlessly tear me down without citing specifics, I thought that marriage would help her be more secure. I was in a bad place after losing a relative and I didn’t know how to handle things.
The night that she decided to wave a kitchen knife around at me in the midst of one of her blow ups (which I caught on my cell phone camera, even the moment where she realized she was being recorded and abruptly tried to pretend that she was the victim), I knew it would only get worse. After being fired from the business for the umpteenth time, I waited for her to leave and then took a Greyhound out of state and started from square one again.
Image source: Dale_Carvello, dikushin / Pexels
#18
I came home from a girls’ day out just as the sun was setting. Nothing but happy vibes on my end! He was blackout drunk, and I thought he was asleep, so I covered him with a blanket so he wouldn’t freeze. He woke up, said seeing me smile made him realize what an ugly jerk I was and punched me so hard in the face that he broke my glasses. Our puppy, who wasn’t even a year old, started attacking him and protecting me. I barricaded myself in the bedroom with that puppy, and sitting there, I realized something: this was the life I was giving a puppy who hadn’t even had a chance to live yet. That was the moment I knew I couldn’t stay. He of course, said he didn’t remember any of it.
Image source: Afraid-Garage8180, cottonbro studio / Pexels
A relationship can end and still mean a lot. Even if a breakup is painful, the time spent together can bring happy memories, important lessons, and a clearer sense of what you want in life. A love story doesn’t have to last forever to be worth it.
Moving on doesn’t mean you have to forget someone or act like the relationship didn’t matter. It’s about accepting that some chapters end, and making space for new experiences, friendships, and maybe even love.
#19
I had a medical test come back as suspicious for cancer and I panicked and hid the results from him. I knew that I couldn’t fight a cancer battle while emotionally managing his feelings about my cancer (having be a caregiver, being left behind, having to care for himself after I die, etc). Couldn’t shake it. Thought back to the 2 times I was semi-incapacitated for 1-2 months and he was furious the entire time. Nope. Can’t stay.
Image source: Roosterboogers, RDNE Stock project / Pexels
#20
We were married in all but on paper.
He couldn’t keep a job, refused to get his anger issues or depression treated, spent all his time gaming, and told me he was better than me. I was employed, volunteered at his church, and was in college despite health issues. He was my first serious relationship so I had no idea what a loser he was.
The final straw was when he told me to abort our child in the bathtub. I never thought I’d be grateful that 25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. I am grateful every day I’m not tied to him in and way.
Last time I checked, he was still living in his parents home and only ever able to get a pity janitor job at that same church. He clearly still hasn’t dealt with his anger issues. When he finally got another girlfriend, he had her contact me on social media. I blocked her immediately. Good riddance.
Image source: BookLuvr7, Gustavo Fring / Pexels
#21
We were seeing a therapist that she picked. He said he wanted to see her alone for awhile. Six months later she is pitching a fit because I was not in the sessions. So he calls and has me come in with her. She starts saying she has changed and things will be different. He asked her to step out and his question to me was: “Do you think she changed?”. I said that my experience was that people at our age really can’t change. He agreed and said for my mental health I needed to get out of that marriage. I knew I needed to get out but I also had not taken the step because I knew how she would respond, especially with the kids. Him giving me that advice was what I needed. He called her in and told her and she immediately went back to her old threatening self. We went home and the first thing she says to the kids is “Your dad is leaving US!” Needless to say it was a brutal divorce and it was not necessary.
Image source: Rosemoorstreet, Tima Miroshnichenko / Pexels
As time passes, people can remember the past with less pain, value what they experienced, and look forward to new possibilities. Just because a marriage ends doesn’t mean the chance for happiness is gone.
Not all love stories last forever, but that doesn’t make them less meaningful. Sometimes, letting go is just the start of a happier time.
Have you ever experienced a moment that changed how you saw a relationship? Share your thoughts in the comments!
#22
I was initially attracted to him because we both had tough lives (not terrible but pretty rough, basically just poor lol). But I realized he doesn’t do anything or take any initiatives to change things when things are tough. He just wallows and waits for other people to come save him. I found it hard to have respect for someone like that.
Image source: Infamous-Argument369, Alex Green / Pexels
#23
My former wife and I were on a trip and we sat in a cafe to have a drink.
I ordered wine and she ordered beer from the waiter.
A different waiter brought the beverages. He assumed that the beer was for me and said, “I assume that the beer is for the gentleman.”
I said, “No, it’s for the lady.”
My ex immediately said to me, “How about your wife?”
Uh, what did I say wrong?
In that moment our marriage crystallized for me: that she was very critical of me and I really never saw it.
I always felt less than around her but I was blind to my own feelings. I asked for a divorce the next day.
I was much happier after the divorce and am now in a happy marriage.
Image source: LeanUkeDude, Tima Miroshnichenko / Pexels
#24
When is realised I wasnt even, second, third, forth in her priorities list, and seen through the veil of just how toxic she had become. Been telling myself I was wrong for a while, but can see im not. And know what, its like a huge weight lifted off me.
Image source: Yermucker, Vitaly Gariev / Pexels
#25
When she looked over at me in the bed and said; “I can’t wait for your parents to pass away so we can own our own home.”
Image source: BlantantlyAccidental, Pavel Danilyuk / Pexels
#26
When I found out my wife had an affair with my brother in law.
This occurred last memorial day weekend. I’m literally typing this post from my sister’s house right now. It’s so insane!
Image source: Ok-Beach-3350, Drazen Zigic / Magnific
#27
My ex refused to come to my graduation from Basic Training, and in doing so, ensured that my daughters would also not be there. When I called her to ask why she wasn’t coming, she said it was because we had been fighting, she wasn’t still in love with me, and she wanted a divorce.
You know how they say that your life flashes before your eyes when you die? Well, as I was mentally gearing up to fight (once again) for our marriage, my future life flashed before my eyes… years and years of dealing with her shit. That broke me… I just couldn’t do it. I simply said, “you’re right, we should get a divorce.”
Image source: kytulu, SkelDry / Magnific
#28
When he suggested, after a trial separation, that I should be fine with moving back in and looking after the kids while he enjoyed time with his girlfriend. “Ideally, if you could just be ok with her being there and look after the kids, it would be best for everyone”.
Divorce was finalised 2 days ago.
Image source: Ophelias_Muse, Drazen Zigic / Magnific
#29
She said if I couldn’t care about TikTok I didn’t care about her.
We had already been going to couples therapy on and off for two years at that point. But that line really cemented how bad things had gotten
Image source: anon, pvproductions / Magnific
#30
I planned a fun vacation with him and our son and asked him to take time off of work. For months he said he couldn’t remember the dates and I would write it down for him again and again. Then when it came time to pack up, he said he took the week after off instead so he could go to an event with his friends. So I went alone with my son. Instead of being mad, I just felt relief that I wasn’t going to have to deal with his anxiety and anger on the trip. My son and I had the most peaceful two weeks away from him and I knew that I wanted that all the time at that point. It took me about 8 months to get out, but after that I met and married the love of my life!
Image source: pinkrtn, prostooleh / Magnific
#31
When I found out the 4 year old child I was raising wasn’t mine. This just happened recently and Im not doing great….
Image source: callbobloblaw
#32
I was skipping meals and budgeting for gas and eggs and he brought home an $800 Robocop action figure.
Image source: emeryroserulz
#33
When she got pulled over at 11am on a Tuesday for drunk driving with our three year old daughter in the back seat. This was after 5 months of rehab that we had to pay for out of pocket because our insurance company was UHC.
Image source: dusteeoldbones
#34
We were having a rough patch and he’d refused to say “I love you” for a while. It was my birthday. Some friends at work that day realized it was my birthday and went to the store during lunch and got me a cheap birthday cake, which was very considerate on their part. I came home and he’d gotten me the same birthday cake (last minute, first thing you see at the store). He gave me a card from him and let the kids sign and it said “I love you” even though he still wouldn’t say it. I don’t think he even read it. He basically put in the same amount of effort as my friends at work who didn’t even have a head start, and the card just felt cruel. I knew then that it was probably over. And found out later that he had a lady friend start coming around about the time he stopped saying “I love you” and wearing his ring.
Image source: dhutch7813
#35
When after I gave him 2 years to straighten out his act after catching him cheating, after giving him a second child, after keeping his secrets; the last straw was him screaming at me in a Tim Hortons in front of our young children, employees and strangers for zero reason. Fun plane ride home.
Image source: BabyNonna
#36
When I found out that he had his 22 year old GF spend the night at my house, after telling me that it was over. He was 44 and had a 19 year old daughter. I had been staying with my sister, but had an attorney get everything ready because I didn’t trust him, and didn’t believe he would stop his affair. He was also an alcoholic. I moved my horse out, then all of my stuff, then called the attorney and told her “go”. He’s probably still trying to figure out how it all happened so fast.
Image source: Disenchanted2
#37
She followed me around the house yelling at me with our 2 year old in her hands. We had an agreement to talk things out later and not in front of the kid. Almost 7 years on and that anger hasn’t changed.
Image source: zerotwoalpha
#38
Spouse stopped contributing to his 401k leaving employer contribution on the table. He did this in secret.
He was 16 years older than me. His plan seemed to be to retire 16 years before me and have me support him, leaving me with nothing for my retirement.
What did he need the extra cash for?
To buy illegal substances.
Image source: DiotimaJones
#39
She went to conference for her college program that required her full attention.
It was the first time I felt truly relaxed, and at peace in years. I was working a lot of overtime before this, so I spent the weekend catching up on cleaning and chores around the house. My 4 year old was so well behaved, and much more creative/playful than she normally was on weekends too.
It opened my eyes to just how chaotic she made our lives feel.
Image source: StrictDay
#40
He quit his job and didn’t tell me (again). He’s been unfaithful several time in our marriage so there were already a lack of trust. I just had this moment of profound clarity- I’m the sole provider, and I do the majority of the house/childcare. What am I getting out of this? I don’t even have trust. I’d be better off alone.
Now that’s all I want- to be alone. I have no interest in dating. I just want to focus on my 3 boys (I have 2 with special needs, one with leukemia and one with autism). It was so liberating to remove all the problems from my marriage because it left more space for the important issues my kids face.
Image source: SunburntLyra
#41
I told my SO things were not good. I said I would like us to go to couple’s counseling. He said I should go. After about four appointments I said in therapy,
“I work, he stays home. But he doesn’t cook, clean, do laundry, get groceries, or even pick up our kid from school. I do all the stuff. He’s become a dependent and I want a partner.”
That was my moment
Image source: Anonymous
#42
He was screaming in my face as my cat (who had cancer) passed away in my arms. I packed up and moved a couple of days later.
Image source: Just-Seaworthiness39
#43
11 years of struggle having the “same fight” over and over again. Ended with 2 kids and a house to complicate the divorce. I saw the red flags before we ever got married and ignored them. After that, I felt like I needed to stay committed and “work on it” especially once the kids came. Instead, all they saw was years of fighting and dysfunction that they didn’t need to see. Wasted my late 20’s and early 30’s. It’s never too early to call it. Only you know how miserable you are and experience shows that it’s nearly impossible to change someone else. Save yourself.
Image source: anon
#44
We’re not divorced, though I have mentioned it. Here are things that are pushing me:
– She threw out all the momentos I had from my mother because she didn’t like the way they looked. (My mom passed away before we met)
– She threw out thousands of dollars worth of video games when I wasn’t looking because they “look scary.”
– We haven’t had intimacy for a year. This is not the first year it’s happened.
– She is an obsessed religious zealot. She told me my mom passed from cancer because she “didn’t believe in the right thing.”
So… we’re not divorced yet. But I think the straws are broken.
Image source: PorkRoll2022
#45
Married in the church, I was his first everything. He came out as gay and asked me to stay and let me know I could have as many partners as I wanted if I kept our “young marrieds” persona up for the church and his family. I can’t live a lie.
Image source: ZeldaSeverous
#46
I kept thinking that him staying meant that he loved me. Then I asked why his friend stayed with a wife while he cheated etc. He just shrugged and said “cheaper to keep her” and the light bulb went off in time to illuminate the final straw breaking inside of me.
Image source: chaotic-entiti
#47
When I was in the hospital for 2 weeks he brought his girlfriend and her kids over to swim in our pool. They are married now.
Image source: fingertrapt
#48
When he said he was babysitting my child. It’s our child. You’re parenting.
Image source: ComprehensiveJob519
#49
My best friend had cancer. She told me she could never be with someone who was a burden like that.
Image source: ModOfficial1988
#50
After spending almost the entire night in the hospital due to his insane high blood pressure and him almost having a heart attack and finding the next day he bought a pack of tall boys to drink, I instantly saw red and left the house.
Next day I told him I couldn’t do it anymore.
This along with other problems, but that was the last straw.
Image source: Godless_Jezabel
#51
Her boyfriend showed up to my sister’s birthday dinner. This happened a few weeks after he attacked me in a Wendy’s parking lot. Which in itself occurred a few months after she threw her her wedding ring at me and slapped me in front of a line of people waiting to get into a club. It took me a while.
Image source: tragicallyohio
#52
Husband made an enormous amount of money as a surgeon, and I was a housewife on an allowance. I voted for Bill Clinton and he docked my allowance by 6%, saying Clinton planned to raise our taxes by that much. Bill Clinton never did raise taxes, but when my husband did that, I said to myself about him, “Dude, you will be divorced by the end of the year.”
Image source: HawgLovah
#53
She didn’t want to get her driving licence.
Sounds ridiculous, I know. But it was the straw.
She moved to the UK to marry me, didn’t transfer her licence at the time, gave the reason as money, despite me saying that we could cover it. Looking back now, I see she just didn’t want to surrender her American licence.
8 years later, she still doesn’t drive. So that’s 9 years of me driving her everywhere. We go on holiday, it’s assumed I’ll be driving instead of public transport.
Days out, I’ll be saying that it’s time to head back to the car after being somewhere for 4-5 hours, because I know I’ve got to drive 2-3 hours to get home. She complains that the place is still open for a few more hours and that she isn’t tired…. no, but I have to get us home safely.
So anyway, 8 years into marriage, I say she needs to do something, anything, towards getting her licence. She says ok but not to bother her about it.
11 months later, I brought up that she still hasn’t done anything and that I needed her to do something in the next month.
A month passes, she has done nothing, not even gotten a provisional, which requires nothing but £34 (bearing in mind she will happily spend £150 on her credit card every few months on concert tickets). She says she isn’t ready to take the theory test to get her provisional… this says to me that she didn’t even look up the process about getting one.
She can’t respect me enough to research something that I tell her I need.
Nope, I’m done.
Within 2 months of me saying I’m done, and asking for divorce, she has her provisional, booked her theory test and taken 2 driving lessons. She was quite happy letting me be her free taxi.
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#54
She was constantly in her phone and it was like I wasn’t even there. One Sunday, after having a big bushy beard for years, decided to shave to a goatee. She didn’t notice. A couple hours later I shaved so I just had a mustache. She didn’t notice. So I started shaving each side of mustache little by little. She didn’t notice the Charlie Chaplin mustache I had until the next morning.
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#55
I overheard him call me a stupid jerk over the baby monitor after I had left the room with one baby. I went back in, didn’t say a word, and grabbed the other baby. I went into the bedroom and locked the door. After a few days, the incident in question had not been brought up. He had not apologized. So I brought it up and asked if he had anything to say about what happened. He said, “I dunno man, I guess you need to just get thicker skin.” So I said we’re going into counseling or we’re finished. He reluctantly went but it was too late then. We had too many problems previously and I was ready to end it long beforehand. It was just the last straw.
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#56
She was always very religious, and I was, too. But she started becoming very fundamental with her Christian beliefs. We were struggling to pay the bills, but she refused to work as it wasn’t a woman’s place. And she forbade me to get an extra job because she didn’t feel it was what “God wanted.” I secretly worked a second job, and when she found it, she acted like I was cheating on her. She became paranoid about going outside of God’s favor. I lost all my friends because of that paranoia. I started to get sick at the idea of being married 30, 40, 50 more years, and I fantasized daily about having a fatal car accident or jumping out of my office window.
The last straw was looking at my child and realizing that he was better off with a divorced dad than an unalive dad. That singular thought shifted my whole thinking and gave me the permission to get out.
She ended up abducting our child to another state. It’s all over now, and I have our child, but it was hell for several years.
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#57
Went to go see my favorite band in a city a couple hours away, husband didnt even ask who i was going with, where i was staying. I had such a phenomenal time i bought tickets in our city for the following night.
Told him he didnt have to go, id be happy to find someone else to go with. He insisted on going. 20 minutes into the opener hes lashing out and just being so mean to me for no reason. Made a big show of, i can stay and watch while he sits in the car and waits for me.
Knew it was done immediately after he walked out
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#58
When she said “I don’t know why you even care it’s not like he is yours” in reply to me asking to keep our son in a carseat.
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#59
He came after me and wrapped his hands around my throat after terrorizing the children and making them admit he was scaring them. It took a bit to get the ducks in a row to physically leave…but that was the moment when I felt something physically snap in my head and I no longer gave a single f about him and his issues.
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#60
She spit on me one day. I didn’t react outwardly, but knew I was completely done and started making exit plans
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#61
Mine was when I realized that I honestly didn’t care when my husband came home or IF he ever came home.
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#62
I found myself thinking about how much easier my life would be if he passed away and I had his life insurance payout.
We had so many conflicts that it wasn’t any one thing, it was everything, and I definitely didn’t want to be married.
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#63
He had left his phone on the table face up and went to the bathroom.
A notification popped up of his girlfriend asking why he just wouldn’t leave me.
When I asked who she was he tried to claim she was just a work friend then gaslit me saying he had told me all about her and I’d just forgotten.
It made me speed run through the marriage in my head and I realized how toxic it was.
Divorced 4 months later.
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#64
The day my mom suddenly passed away. We went to inform my sister and he spent the entire time texting instead of being there for either of us. My mom was one of my best friends and he did almost nothing to comfort me or help me through my grief.
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#65
Our youngest son is severely autistic. We had him diagnosed. Out of 12 sessions to speak to various specialists, he turned up to 1. After getting the diagnosis, we were offered a course on how to manage it. He skipped all of them. He did have to work, but as he was self-employed, he could have been more flexible in planning. The last one came when he decided to do something for his hobby rather than go to the course.
He asked me when our kid would start his meds. There are no meds for autism. Which he would know, had he done any sort of research whatsoever on the topic. I bought him 5 books on it. He never opened any of them.
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#66
It was a long toxic marriage I always knew wouldn’t work out but tried for the kids. The final straw was when she hit me in the face while holding my 7 year old. Took the kids for ice cream calmed them down and never went back. Then spent whatever I had left on custody. 50/50. Would have taken full custody if the courts would allow it. Seems they don’t like taking kids from their mom even if they are toxic and violent.
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#67
He spent our last $20 (day before payday) on beer
Had 2 young kids and needed bread and milk
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#68
Years ago I had a service job route Made decent money. She went to school ba then mba good job I was still at the same place. Went to company trip she had. After words she told me do you know how embarrassing it it to be married to a man with his name on his shirt. ? I was pissed off at first I guess. Then told her I was done. Guess it was a good move for me I then stepped it up became a manager where I worked. Retired now
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#69
I realized this after she moved out with the children to her boyfriend’s house. I didn’t know she had a boyfriend.
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#70
Reading the “we’re gonna get caught” and “I love you”s on her phone with the boyfriend.
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#71
Freaking physical violence. I took a year to plan it out with a DV place and a bad union lawyer. We were married for five years. First, last, and worst.
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#72
Had some evidence of cheating in December. Confronted her and asked her to confess, she denied and made excuses for the evidence. Went to couples therapy for a few months to dissect the situation and our marriage. Gave her countless chances over that same time period to confess. It was clear to me it was happening, but she kept lying to me.
Sometime in early spring she finally confessed. After months of sleeping in the same bed and having intimacy with someone who was not only cheating on me, but lying to my face countless times about doing so, there was nothing left to work on.
We had been married 6 months. Crazy thing is if she had come out and admitted it in December I think I would have been willing to try and work through things.
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#73
When I found out about her stealing almost 100k from her federal job.
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#74
Not quite a divorce, but told her I had to study for a test necessary to advance in my career and I would need to hang out another day. Got a phone call 30 minutes later saying we were done and she needed to see what other people were like for her sake. I passed the test.
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#75
Her refusal to disclose her HIV status. Note: I hadn’t touched her intimately in two years because of her multiple affairs. Been tested numerous times and pm 100 percent ok. There were/are multiple STDs before the big one became known.
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#76
When he woke me up at 4 in the morning to scream at me before I had to go to work at 6. Dumped him right then and there
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#77
We were at the marriage counselor. She explained her side. I explained my side. He turns to then-wife and said “you know, Helagoth isn’t wrong.” First time I’d heard that. Made me realize that we were on our 4th counselor. And the reason for that was she would find something wrong with every previous one, usually shortly after they suggest that she do some individual counseling.
Just realizing that no, I wasn’t the problem reframed our entire relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I was part of the problem and had my own issues, but realizing I wasn’t THE problem was the final straw that made me say “enough is enough”
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#78
For my friend who got a divorce the final straw was her husband threatening to divorce her to get his way.
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#79
Made the mistake of opening up our marriage. We were both into it, but when I had some reservations and concerns, she didn’t consider “us” only “her”.
The final straw always boils down to when one partner sees “me vs …” instead of “us vs …”.
#80
He told me that it wasn’t his problem that my parents did not love me, advised that we should re-sign the rental agreement because “we’re fine if you do everything I tell you to”
Got my plan together and broke up with him the next time he screamed at me.
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