When two people get married, they often take a vow to be there for each other… in sickness and in health. Some stick to it. Others don’t.
A woman has shared a disturbing story about how she got severely ill recently and turned to her husband for help. Instead of caring for her, he left her passed out on the floor and went to bed. But it didn’t end there. The man’s actions have left many people concerned. And the wife is now questioning their entire relationship.
It’s not unreasonable to want your partner to care for you when you’re really, really sick
Image credits: rabusta (not the actual image)
But this woman’s husband flat-out refused to, and left her passed out on his office floor
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
Image credits: ThrowRA_Constant_
“This made me cry…”: The woman provided some more info when prompted
The “empathy gap”: when your partner couldn’t care less if you’re ill
Imagine feeling at your absolute worst… Pain, fever, dizziness, shivering, bones like lead. It wouldn’t be unreasonable for you to want your partner to care for you, comfort you, and also pick up some extra chores around the house.
When a spouse is insensitive during times of illness, it can leave the sick person feeling sad, lonely, and even confused. The guilty party might even go as far as acting like they don’t notice, blaming you for feeling ill, or telling you to “walk it off.” This is what some experts refer to as the “empathy gap.”
“When you’re feeling unwell and your partner doesn’t respond with empathy, it can take a toll on your mental well-being,” notes relationship advice blog lovelifeinsights.com. “Feeling alone or uncared for during such times can make you feel worse.”
The site adds that it’s okay to acknowledge that these actions affect you and that your feelings are valid. But it also warns that your partner’s behavior might not be deliberate.
It’s essential to realize that everyone has their own way of thinking and showing emotions, the experts say. “People express themselves differently, and this difference in communication styles can lead to misunderstandings,” explains the site.
Whether their actions are intentional or not, it’s important to take care of yourself. This means prioritizing your own well-being and being kind to yourself.
The site suggests shifting your attention towards your physical and emotional health. You could read a book, take a warm bath, or call friends or family to help lift your spirits. “These actions contribute positively to your overall well-being, even if your partner’s response is not what you expected,” notes lovelifeinsights.com.
When it comes to dealing with an “insensitive” spouse, communication is key. The experts say you should let them know that their lack of empathy makes you feel emotionally unsupported and neglected. And that their actions, or lack thereof, are negatively affecting your well-being.
During the conversation, use ‘I’ statements. For example, “I feel lonely and neglected when I’m sick and there’s no care or concern from you.” This shifts the chat away from blaming.
The team over at lovelifeinsights also advises being specific. “Clearly state what you expect when you’re sick. Ask for small acts of care, such as getting you a hot drink or offering to take care of household duties,” they say.
Lastly, to build empathy, try and encourage your partner to put themselves in your shoes, and let them imagine how they’d feel if the roles were reversed.
When all else fails, never be afraid to reach out to a therapist or marriage counselor for professional help.
Image credits: Ambreen (not the actual image)
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