Headlines! They ought to be short, clear, and to the point. Ideally, they’ll also have a dash of humor or a cheesy pun thrown in to keep us entertained. Considering the massive amount of information each and every one of us is bombarded with on a daily basis, we prefer to get our news bite-sized and easily digestible. Who has the time to read everything cover to cover, anyway? And those of us who find the time for long-form content really want to know what kind of story we’re getting into. Some headlines, however, totally catch us off guard and make us do a double take.
So much so that we can’t help but sink our teeth into the story because of how dystopian it sounds. Bored Panda has collected the weirdest news story headlines out there that were probably meant to sound super wholesome and cheerful, yet are actually anything but. Tone-deaf and miserable? Yup, yup. Feel-good and heartwarming? Nope, nope.
Once you think about it for more than two seconds, you realize just how messed up the stories really are. Like features about coworkers donating their time off to a seriously sick colleague. Or people teleworking from the hospital. Or posts about kids starting up businesses to pay off someone’s debt. It really makes you think that these acts of kindness wouldn’t be needed if society prioritized different things.
If you have any faith in humanity left, we suggest you lock it up tight somewhere safe, dear Pandas. Where we’re going, we’ll only have unfairness and outrage as our companions. Share your opinions on these headlines and stories in the comments. And be sure to check out Bored Panda’s chat about the news, clickbait, and being overwhelmed by negativity with Ariane Sherine. She is the editor at ‘These Three Rooms,’ is super media-savvy, and has published a whole bunch of awesome books. You’ll find the full interview below.
#1
Image source: Bmchris44
#2
Image source: MoggyBee
#3
Image source: MRTA03
#4
Image source: UltimateWebRedditor
#5
Image source: nokia621
#6
Image source: meidasjordy
#7
Image source: yashar
#8
Image source: Notintheface1
#9
George Floyd did not sacrifice his life for shit, he was murdered by a racist cop in a racist system
Image source: reddit.com
#10
Image source: Public_Citizen
#11
A child can’t stay on the transplant list, solely because he’s homeless.
Image source: livfenty
#12
Image source: LEBassett
#13
Image source: MJFINESSELOVER
#14
Image source: BelleAriel
#15
Image source: mortalstampede
#16
Image source: IfBarack
#17
Image source: throwaway8902929383
#18
Image source: jentrification
#19
Aww it’s so cute, he is so rich he has no idea about life at all, yet he has so much power
Image source: MyDarkKnightRose
#20
Image source: WrittenByHanna
#21
Image source: Nigerian_OG
#22
Image source: JoshuaPotash
#23
Image source: deepwatermike
#24
People Incarcerated by State Do More Fore Student Than State
Image source: Semiattractivetamale
#25
Image source: speechboy71
#26
Image source: johnogpdx
#27
Image source: sharynesque
#28
Image source: Voodoo_Pork
#29
Image source: feather_of_charcoal
#30
A very cruel and efficient system
Image source: LynettaShade
#31
Work till you’re dead
Image source: TheBakerification
#32
Magic
Image source: Morsman
#33
Image source: jules_su
#34
Image source: UltraBlue92
#35
Image source: LifeLivedWildly
#36
Image source: socializm_
#37
Multigenerational wars are a good thing, right?
Image source: incogburritos
#38
Crying at work
Image source: Winkelkater
#39
Uhhh…”drawback”?
Image source: fafabull
#40
Image source: JustSayXtian
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