There are so many things we wish our children would grow up knowing. However, separating the wheat from the chaff, the wisdom from the illusions is always a tough thing to do. And some things that our kids end up learning do more harm than good, don’t you think, dear Pandas?
Well, the parents of Reddit have been pitching in and sharing their takes on what harmful things are being taught to children in a viral thread over on r/AskReddit. From advice on how we should always be double-checking information to embracing failure instead of running away from it, some of these tips and tricks are spot-on and help kids grow into healthy, happy adults. (And don’t tell anyone this, but some of us adults could use a handful of these tips, too.)
Have a read through them below and upvote the ones you agree with. Got any additional tips on what things children should and shouldn’t be taught? Be sure to share your thoughts with all the other Readers in the comment section.
I reached out to Lenore Skenazy to learn more about how to overcome the passive mindset that kids are taught to embrace in school and to be actively driven by curiosity into adulthood. Lenore is the founder of the Free-Range Kids movement and the president of Let Grow, a nonprofit organization that fights overprotection, promotes independence, and makes kids ‘future-proof.’ and the founder of the Free-Range Kids movement. You’ll find her insights that she shared with Bored Panda below, dear Readers.
#1
Little girls get told all the time that boys are bullying them because they like them
Image source: zevzevi
#2
Boys don’t cry.
Let the damn boys cry
Image source: chinchuberry
#3
Making children hug or kiss someone (usually a relative) that they are uncomfortable with is not good. The child may just be grumpy and or not wanting to show affection or their warning bell sensors could be going off and they do not know how to communicate that. Plus forcing them to hug/kiss sends mixed messages about personal/physical boundaries and affection itself
Image source: NemoKhongMotAi
#4
What to think instead of how to think
Image source: LewsTherinT
#5
That they shouldn’t question an adult
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#6
That failure is bad. Failing should not be considered as an obstacle but a step in the learning process. Demonizing the failure and stigma associated with it makes many children lose their interest once they fail.
Image source: Peace_Pepper
#7
Nobody cares about children’s/teens issues. “Well it’s only going to get worse from here”. “You think school is hard? Have you ever paid a f**king bill” “You’re just a kid you can’t feel this way”.
It breeds an emotional disconnect from parents and their kids. And makes kids feel alone in their emotional struggles, that nobody cares because they’re not adults and they don’t have “Adult Problems”.
Image source: Fantalitymlp
#8
It seems like forcing kids to eat everything off their plate is pretty harmful, it doesn’t matter if they’re full, they have to clean off their plate and they can’t leave the table until they do
Image source: -Knivezz-
#9
That you can be anything you want in life.
Sorry but this just isn’t correct. Poor Eddie who can’t grasp basic division isn’t going to be an astronaut
Image source: Rukawork
#10
“No “tattle tails” or “snitching”
How many kids are abused or bullied and won’t come forward because of this?”
#11
“If he’s mean to you he likes you” It just teaches little girls (mostly girls) to expect violence from people who love them
Image source: mbar2004
#12
My son’s preschool has a strict “you do not have to play if you don’t want to” policy. No one has to play with anyone they don’t want to play with. They say that no one has to to hug or touch anyone or be touched if they don’t want it. No one has to share their toys or other school supplies if they aren’t done with it. In fact the preschool teacher will go over and referee and say “is Bobby done with the toy car? No? Then Mikey, you have to wait until he is done.” It’s pretty refreshing. I wanted to let you know there are new philosophies and my son’s preschool really strongly teaches body autonomy. Your body is your own and no one can touch it or make you do anything with it without your permission
#13
Being wrong is bad. That’s why many people don’t change their mind when they were given trustable sources, they don’t want to be wrong
Image source: oti890
#14
Abstinence only sex education. This is more of what they’re not being taught. Proper sex education is important.
Edit: For anyone interested I’m posting a link to a John Oliver segment on Americas sex education system. Its very informative but also quite funny.
Image source: GurgleQueen636
#15
My mom would often punish me for something, and whenever I asked why or what I did I was told “I’m the adult and you are the child” or “because I said so” or “you shouldn’t need a reason”.
#16
Doing the right thing will sometimes make others hate you. Be prepared for that.
Image source: FloKarle
#17
That complaining is the same as not being grateful. Can’t count the number of times growing up when adults basically told me to shut up whenever I was complaining about something and that I should be grateful that I was born where I was. Like sure, I’m glad I wasn’t born into some starving African family, but that doesn’t mean everything is perfect over here and that we shouldn’t try to improve things here as well.
Image source: II_Neo_II
#18
No is a ‘bad’ word. It’s a strong word but not a bad one.
Image source: NotMyPenguin
#19
“The parents never make a mistake”
Image source: AKuAkUhhh
#20
“No backtalk.” Many adults use it as “you’re not allowed to challenge what I have to say.” Makes sense if it’s a cranky toddler being negative for negativity’s sake, but suddenly older children can’t question things or raise valid points of their own.
Image source: lesoldatrose
#21
That you shouldnt hit a woman. Dont hit anyone! (unless its self defence) If my child is being hit by a woman, and bullied…equal rights equal fights
Image source: aseald_Sapnu
#22
That the news is completely reliable
Image source: Gray-Doons
#23
Happened to my son in middle school, a kid sucker punched my son. My son then fought back and pinned the kid against the wall ( he has long arms) and punched him a few times. The school called me and my wife and told us our son was suspended. We went to the school and they said even though multiple witnesses as well as the kid said he threw the first punch that the school had a zero tolerance policy so our son would be suspended. We asked what the school believed our son should have done and they said he should just walk away. We told them that he would not be receiving any punishment at home and that the policy was f**ked up.
Image source: VaDem33
#24
I think what we’re not taught is more harmful. For example the fact that we never learn (at least in my country) how to fact check things.
Image source: Urgash54
#25
That everybody is a winner. No. Losing and disappointments are part of life and they are integral to your growth both emotionally and socially. We have a lot of people who enter the real world who have been told they are deserving of things just because and cannot take rejections and losses in their personal and professional lives with any grace whatsoever. This is also resulting in mediocrity being accepted as a norm cos nobody wants to call out ineptitude. While the hard work and dedication being put in by people who do end up in good positions are being played down. It’s a little harsh but it’s true. Kids gotta learn how to lose before they can truly start to win. That’s the only way being gracious in victory will ever come about.
Image source: nattlefrost
#26
Kids are starting social media so early these days, and I think that’s very dangerous because it puts a lot of pressure on the kid to attribute their worth to their social media success. I also think parents are way too open with their social media when it comes to their kids, and it’s totally a violation of the child’s privacy, of which some parents will never admit
Image source: kay37892
#27
Bullies are only bullies because they feel insecure about themselves and you should sympathize with them. **k that, if someone is being s****y to you then they don’t deserve your sympathy.
Image source: C0zy_Glow
#28
Not owning up to their mistakes or blaming them on others.
Image source: jamerstime
#29
Children do learn about sex at a young age, it just isn’t usually in a productive way. I know I did.
My own experience: questions like this are why I believe in being infinitely clear with my kids….”you are going to hear total [nonsense] from other kids. If you hear something you don’t understand, come talk to me. You can ask me anything and expect a decent answer.” And I would give examples of the total [nonsense] I had heard as a kid, most of which would result in pregnancy.
Son, age 6. Daughter, age 7. Riding home from school: daughter says “Tiffany said she had sex with my brother.” Which left me a grand total of 3 minutes to gather my wits before we got home.
OK, do you guys know what sex is? Blank looks. Sex is when you take off all of your clothes and rub privates together. You can make babies that way. Looks of shock and disgust. Do you think your brother had sex with Tiffany? Nooo! I think she was using a really bad way of trying to say she likes him, and maybe she watches the wrong TV shows where if people like each other they always have sex.
Were my kids really ready for a sex talk? No, not really. They didn’t care. Did we really need to have one about then? Yep. My job as a parent is to be there to put things that come up in context for them, not run around after them deciding what and when they need to know things.
Image source: sushihcare
#30
How to internalize stress and implode as teens and adults.
Image source: lunakat504
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