Gossip Girl 3.13 “The Hurt Locket” Recap

Spotted: A new episode of Gossip Girl… Me? An ecstatic idiot. You? In need of a thorough recap. So call off the APB for the denizens of the Upper East Side and let’s get down to it!

The Set Up

The people we have grown to love and hate are back and not a moment too soon… Serena gushes over the phone to Blair about her new coupledom with Nate. Blair warns to not rush things with Nate, but both girls get preoccupied with distractions on both ends of the line. Serena spots Damien Daalgard (Kevin Zegar), the guy who Jenny has been doing drug runs for,and we find out that the two of them went to the same boarding school when Serena was M.I.A. from Constance. On the other end of the phone line, Blair comes across an old locket with Bart Bass’s picture in it. This is the locket that the mysterious woman at Bart’s grave left behind. Blair asks Chuck what’s up with it and Chuck brushes it off, which brings Blair to her favorite subject in the world (herself) and how Chuck can help her get into the exclusive society whose name is French and was used as a scheme by Georgina earlier in the school year. After Blair leaves, Chuck gets a text about the broken locket and where to collect the intel from. Mr. Bass never fails with the intrigue, people.

Lily and Jenny discuss Jenny’s Christmas stay with her mother and the fact that Rufus has been unavailable to anyone sans a Vcast with Jenny. Is there trouble in paradise? Before the women can let me ponder this, Damien shows up bearing a gift for Jenny, who sends Lily on her way. After Lily gives Jenny a motherly warning about boys in the bedroom, she asks Jenny about her father’s return. Jenny advises Lily to just call Rufus to see what’s up. When she returns back to her room, Jenny opens her ‘gift’ from Damien which is a box full of pills and other paraphernalia. Meanwhile, Lily takes Jenny’s advice and calls Rufus, who promptly slams his phone shut without answering it after seeing it was Lily. Hmmm….

Chuck meets with the maker of the locket and the man who designed it was sworn to secrecy on who Bart bought his jewelry for. But this is Chuck Bass and Chuck Bass gets what he wants. The guy hands over the info and Chuck gets a name, Elizabeth Fisher, and an address.

Serena returns home to find a surprise: Nate sitting there waiting for her. After a few smooches, Serena mentions that they should take it slow and Nate agrees. This declaration lasts for about five nanoseconds and I could be being generous in that time frame.

The Love Game

Nate meets with Dan, who still hasn’t spoken to Vanessa since he confessed his love for her, and the two talk about friends turning into lovers. Dan also read somewhere that for that conversion to happen, things must go slow. One look from Nate’s face tells us that he didn’t get the memo. Elsewhere, Serena glows and Blair knows the deal and chastises her friend for not taking her advice. She eventually tells Serena that Nate might choke off of an overdose of Serena, who he has been pining over for forever, and that Serena might need to start playing games to keep him. Dan warns Nate that Serena might get caught up in the romance aspect of their relationship and that Nate might will need to breath a little, which Serena doesn’t like. Hmmm, is Serena the problem in this equation?

Jenny and Damien scheme on how to get the drugs into a State Dinner, with the recipient being a French Ambassador’s daughter. After all ideas sputter into oblivion, Jenny then comes up with a plan. She spots a coat/shawl that belongs to the socialite and declares that she can make the same coat, but put the pills into the coat and switch coat check tags with the girl. “Brilliant”? Yes. But worth it? Hell no.

Lily stops by the Humphrey loft and runs into Dan. She asks if Rufus has returned, but Dan thinks that his dad would’ve stopped by Lily’s before coming to the loft. Then Dan spots Rufus’s skis and knows that he might want to retract his statement. Lily, looking like a hurt puppy, leaves the loft while Dan wonders what the hell is going on with his folks. While Dan ponders this, Rufus runs into Holland (Sherri Shaum), the lady he spoke with after finding out about Lily’s stay with her ex-husband. Holland asks if everything is OK and Rufus says that while he wants to give Lily a chance to explain herself, he really doesn’t want to know what went down. Holland asks if Rufus wants to talk over coffee and Rufus accepts. Homewrecker.

Blair, decked out in lingerie that even Victoria couldn’t keep secret, calls Chuck for some role playing, but he has bigger fish to fry. Blair nearly has a heart attack when Chuck admits that he didn’t have the meeting with Monsieur Duis, the “key” to Blair’s future with the secret society she wants to to join, but is relieved when CB promises to introduces them at the French Ambassador state dinner. Then Blair finds Chuck’s files on his investigation of the mysterious woman and grows worried, but doesn’t let Chuck know that she knows what’s up. She then leaves his apartment, but runs into Nate and its a comical awkward moment.

Meanwhile, Chuck waits for Elizabeth Fisher to come back to her hotel, but finds out from the doorman that Ms. Fisher left as soon as she found out that Chuck knew of her whereabouts. Are we getting sloppy in our investigating, Chuck?

Serena meets up with Nate and after a couple of smooches, Nate suggests that he and Serena not go to the state dinner together the next day. Serena is perplexed and Nate tries to explain, unsuccessfully, and Serena leaves. She calls up Damian of all people and asks him to go to the dinner with her. Seems like she finally took Blair’s advice, but really…

The Last of The International Players

Dan confronts his father about why he’s stay hidden from Lily and when Rufus comes up with something that maybe Dan himself would have said a couple of years ago, Dan feeds Rufus the same advice that he doles out to everyone else. Now the manner in which Dan did it was very disrespectful and would’ve gotten me kicked out of the house, but to each his own.

Jenny shows of her creation to Damien, who quickly takes it off her and drops her like the bad habit he is pushing onto other socialites. He tells her that he is taking Serena, which Jenny thinks is a crock of crap, because Serena is with Nate now. Damien counters with the fact that it was Serena who called him. Jenny defends Serena’s new personality with the fact that Serena wouldn’t be caught dead with a coat full of pills on her, which Damien says Serena wil just have to be left in the dark about that. Jenny plays her last hand by declaring to inform Serena, but Damien trumps her by saying that if she snitches then she’s going down as well. Damien then leaves with the coat, a promise that Jenny will get her cut, and a damn target on his back. It’s about to get ugly, yall…

Blair finds Chuck not dressed for the dinner and that she will be going stag, because Chuck is hot on the trail of Elizabeth Fisher and doesn’t want to lose the scent. Blair is furious that Chuck would throw aside her dreams to chase after a ghost, but Chuck reminds Blair that the planet doesn’t revolve around her and her quest for dominance and that she can find a way to impress Monsieur Duris on her own. But he wasn’t being as nice as I was and Blair haughtily walks out the apartment before Chuck can apologize.

As the guests arrive for the dinner, Nate spots Serena going into the building with Damien. Jenny pops up and fills Nate in without filling him in, if you catch my drift. She then offers to bail Nate out this once since he has always came to her rescue. Inside, the foursome throw barbs and jeers, which end with Jenny commenting on what a nice jacket Serena is wearing, which Damien gave to Serena as a gift. Damien offers to take the coat, but Serena decides to keep it on, because it looks so good on her. Damien is at unease, Jenny is triumphant, Nate fumes, and Serena is totally clueless…

The Jealousy Waltz

During the ball, Serena realizes that Blair’s advice is working, because Nate is pissed. The two of them talk it out, but Serena points out to Nate that he was the Indian Giver with his invite and that she is the victim and that maybe taking it slow is the right thing to do. Damien comes in and tries to introduce himself to Nate, who walks off. Serena comes clean on why she invited Damien to the dinner and he’s fine with it; he just wants the coat back by any means necessary. After being reprimanded for his insolence from the ambassador’s daughter, Damien makes a claim that the coat will not leave the dinner on Serena’s back. So he proposes a ruse to Serena of making Nate even more jealous by grabbing for the coat a couple of times, but its when he tries to kiss Serena that she gives him his walking papers. Jenny watches from the side lines in glee and later tells Nate that he needs to stake a claim for Serena and to stop taking advice from Dan. Amen on the latter, sister! As Serena walks by the coat check, someone grabs her and yanks her in the room.

After getting a confident boost from Serena, Blair approaches Monsieur Duris, who looks like a wimp. She introduces herself to him, but Chuck appears with some wacky news: Elizabeth Fisher could be his so-called “dead” mother. Blair doesn’t believe this, but Chuck has evidence and a strong passion to see if this is actually true. Blair, seeing how much this means to Chuck, decides to put herself on the back burner again and stand by her man in his time of need.

Good Vibrations, Sad Revelations…

The guy who yanked Serena into the room was Nate, who declares that he’s been a dumbass, because he has waited too long for him to mess up a great thing. Serena understands and they go at it and proceed to remove clothing from their bodies. In the coat room. Um… yeah. Outside, Damien turns in his ticket for the coat check and while the coat check girl searches for it, she steps on Serena’s coat, revealing a crushed pill. She doesn’t see it of course. Damien, feeling dejected, let’s Jenny berate him for trying to fulfill a fantasy of being with Serena. Jenny also includes that she is a force to be reckoned with and to not treat her as anything less. But Damien says that after his botched operation, he will be the laughing stock of the socialite drug world and thinks about heading back to Germany. But Jenny spots the coat on the floor, chastises the coat check girl for leaving the ambassador’s daughter’s coat on the floor and saves Damien’s ass. But was it worth it? Not to me…

Chuck finally meets “Elizabeth”, who claims that not only is she not Chuck’s mother, but that bart gave that necklace to every one of his girlfriends. She basically crushes poor CB’s heart and the man feel like a dupe. But Blair… Oh, Blair! The girl can smell crap from on top of the Empire State Building. She tells Chuck that she needs to go to the ladies’ room, but instead confronts Elizabeth about the performance she just put on for Chuck. Blair makes it known that if Elizabeth knows anything, she better fess up, because Chuck deserves to know the truth to ease the demon he has carried with him since birth that he killed his mother at childbirth. This is one of those rare moments when Blair kicks ass and dammit she gets the MVP award of the night.

Oh and By The Way; Conclusions…

Rufus finally confronts Lily about her lies of taking care of CeCe, when she was in Europe with her ex-husband. He demands to know what happened and if Lily slept with Dr. van der Woodsen. Lily says she didn’t sleep with the good doctor, but that the two shared a kiss. WHAAAAAAA???!??! Rufus is pissed and eventually tells Lily that he has to think the issue through but not with her around. But he makes an exception for Holland, who Rufus goes to visit as soon as he leaves his and Lily’s apartment. Not right, man.

Dan calls Vanessa and makes a plea. Wah. Wah. Wah.

Nate and Serena leave the coat check room finally, but not before they take someone else’s coat since they couldn’t find Serena’s jacket, which is wrapped around the shoulders the ambassador’s daughter. Jenny flirts with Damien into getting a date out of him and Nate and Serena end the night happy. Thank God!

But our man Chuck is down, people, and Blair is there to support him through his time of need. He laments on how he will never have a real mother, but Blair again lets him know that she loves him and can be all the family he needs. Meanwhile, Elizabeth calls Chuck, but he doesn’t answers cause he missed the call. But Elizabeth holds something important in her hand: the other piece of the locket, which has a picture of her holding a newly born Chuck Bass in her arms.

Will Chuck find out about his mother? Will Lily bust Rufus for his planned infidelity? Will Blair get into her secret society? Will Jenny gain a brain? A lot of questions, a lot of time for answers…

See you next week. Until then, know the one your with, watch your back for those backstabbers, and keep the ‘Gossip’ train going…

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  1. Car DVD Players September 16, 2010

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