Gossip Girl 3.06 “How To Succeed In Bassness” Recap

Ok, so here’s the thing about Monday night’s Gossip Girl: While being somewhat confusing at some points and annoying at others, it was a slight improvement from what I have been seeing lately, with ‘˜slight’being the operative word. Not since the season premiere have I cared about what will happen next on Gossip Girl this year. The childish behaviors of the college level characters (Serena, Dan, Vanessa, and especially Blair) make me wonder if the producers jumped the gun by putting them in college so soon. Just about every teen drama that I know has went three to four years in the high school department, with Veronica Mars being the exception. While the young people of Gossip Girl didn’t act like the average teens in season one and most of season two, it seems as if they have reverted backwards in terms of growing up. The only person who has managed such a transition is Chuck Bass and God Bless Ed Westwick for portraying the character to such lengths that at times he can do no wrong. Always the mature one out of the group, Chuck shines in everything he does, even if it’s tipping a cab driver. I need for the rest of the college age class to get on his level. And fast.

Anyway, here is what transpired last night.

Jenny and Eric

Jenny has to decide between Eric and her new status as Queen Bee and as much as I don’t believe in high school social hierarchy, Eric and his boyfriend sort of deserved what they got last night, in my opinion.

After shopping for a crap load of new clothes, Jenny refuses to toss out all of her old clothes that she either made or owned pre-Lily and Rufus marriage. She and Eric discuss her new status and Jenny only asks that he don’t sit above her and the minions on the Met steps, because that would show some sort of defiance and a crack in Jenny’s power. Eric complies, but Eric’s boyfriend, Jonathon (guest star Matt Doyle), wants to challenge the request, which is the equivalent of stirring up a hornet’s nest, or…bees, for instance. When Jenny asks them to move and they refuse, she has the minions to dump their yogurt on Eric’s head and uniform. Of course, Jonathon gets off scott free.

Eric comes home early and when Lily asks why, he tells her to ask Jenny. Jenny, feeling that she will get understanding from an original Queen Bee, only gets an ultimatum from Lily: Jenny can go to Chuck Bass’s new club, Speakeasy, THE party event of the year, as long as Eric still wants to go with her and when they get there, the minions will have to apologize to Eric.

When Jenny gets to the party, the minions want to know why is Eric there. Ok, #1: Chuck still considers Eric his brother, #2 Eric is officially Serena’s brother, #3 Do I need to go on? Anyway, Jenny claims to have a plan to get back at Eric for his insolence and for snitching to Lily. When she gets inside, Jenny puts on her other face, which is the face of Eric’s friend and stepsister. He apologizes and they both agree to not sit on The Met steps anymore. Eric then mentions Jonathon’s absence and ponders the whereabouts of the minions. Low and behold, they are out egging Jonathon, who was on his way to the party.

Jenny returns home later and faces Eric who is pissed. He declares that he doesn’t want to have anything to do with her two faced ass before going to bed. So to make a choice, she takes all of her old clothes and her sewing machine and tosses them out. I guess new Jenny is a permanent fixture… For now, at least.

Blair, Chuck, and Serena

Chuck is ready to open his hotel, which Blair is ready to rule as well under her warped sense of societal justice. She suggestsopening up the club first instead. Chuck tells her to pretty much back down and to respect his wishes to do this his way, since he wants to achieve doing something to prove that he is not a Bart Bass clone. Chuck’s problem is that he needs his hotel to book for the holiday season, and as he puts it, ‘a hotel that doesn’t book during the holiday season, doesn’t make it to the next.’So he asks for Serena’s help as a publicist to help launch the party, but he doesn’t want Blair to be anywhere near the mechanics of the opening. Of course, Blair is there with Serena as Chuck says this over the phone. Serena agrees to follow Chuck’s wishes, which infuriates Blair, who thinks it is all because of the gay kiss from last week. Serena projects that maybe the whole ordeal isn’t about the kiss or Blair, for once; then Serena starts listing all the things that Chuck is having problems with, including trying to get a lock on a liquor license in less than 24 hours. In other words, Serena unknowingly fuels Blair’s head for a scheme.

When Chuck gets his liquor license at the drop of a hat, it is clear that Blair had something to do with it. But for her to go to JACK BASS for the favor? Very low is all I can say. After buying Blair a dress for the Speakeasy opening, he is appalled to find out that the license is from Jack and that Blair was the one behind the betrayal. She claims that she did it out of love, but Chuck doesn’t have time for the bull and rescinds her invite. Serena sides with Chuck on this issue and or Blair that’s adding insult to injury all day long.

While playing chess in her dorm room later, Blair receives a bouquet of flowers, assuming they are from Chuck, but one look at the message card and she demands for Dorota to fetch her dress. Arriving at the Speakeasy, Blair runs into Chuck, who doesn’t really want to see her. Blair says she came to apologize and to warn Chuck that Jack might have set them up with the liquor license, a thought that already crossed Chuck’s mind. Blair then has a plan to call the police and bust the party themselves before Jack does, but, again, Chuck already thought of that. Despite them being on the same page, Chuck still feels that he and Blair still have some things to discuss.

When the police finally show up, Serena is left blindsided by Chuck and Blair’s plan, which leaves her at the mercy of K.C. (guest star Deanna Russo) and Serena is not a happy camper about that B.S. But again, Blair thinks everything is hunky dory when it’s good for her only and doesn’t take in to account Serena’s job. But thankfully Serena doesn’t hold back on her feelings and tells Blair that while Chuck might forgive, she sure as hell won’t. For now that is.

Later, Chuck says that since the police bust brought good publicity, his reservations went up and he plans on still operating the club, but on a super exclusive level. I love that idea. Chuck Bass kicks ASS. HE KICKS ASS!!!! And he’s my idol.

Dan, Olivia, and Serena

Dan has Nate give him the Eternal Knights trilogy, which are the Twilight meets King Arthur films that Olivia starred in. Nate warns Dan that the movie features some explicit scenes with Olivia’s ex boyfriend, Patrick Robinson (guest star Simon Filler), which might offend him. But the only person offended here is I, because of Dan’s sudden snobbery towards blogs and Internet sites to the point that he doesn’t know a thing about life as we know it or Olivia, for that matter. But I smell a liar in Dan, because how else could he have gotten a text from Gossip Girl (which showed Olivia buying condoms by the way) if he wasn’t in tune with the blogosphere? Sloppy…

Anyway, Dan sits down with Nate and watches a love scene between Olivia and Patrick’s characters and Olivia levitates, which perplexes Dan. At first it was funny, but when he actually lets it bother him then it gets completely absurd.

Meanwhile, Serena finds out that K.C. wants the Dan/Olivia union to be nixed in favor of Patrick, because since the Eternal Knights movies ended, Patrick’s career has been in the can since, especially since he and Olivia’s sham of a relationship was over. So to save her other client, K.C. wants to use the opening of Speakeasy as a red carpet event and wants Olivia and Patrick to go as a couple. Serena says she will do what she can, but will not break up Dan and Olivia for the sake of publicity.

Olivia calls Dan, who doesn’t want to talk to her at the moment feigning sickness. She later stops by with food to cheer him up, but finds out what his real problem was. She tells Dan that the relationship with Patrick was faked and that the scenes were just her acting. Nothing more. They both decide to go to the Speakeasy, but Serena arrives to tell them of K.C.’s plan. Dan does not take kindly to it, but Olivia reluctantly agrees.

When they get there, Patrick actually has eyes for Serena and flirts profusely in his short amount of time on screen. Later after the police bust up the party, Olivia confesses that she and Patrick were in fact a couple at one time and that she feels that she owes him since his career is in shambles. Serena shows up to lead them out the party unseen, but she stages a publicity stunt showing that Olivia is now dating Dan and that Patrick is now ‘˜dating’Serena! I applaud Serena for her quick thinking, something that she has always been good at, but not in the book series mind you. K.C. is impressed and Serena’s job lives another day. Meanwhile, Dan and Olivia seals their relationship, after Dan mentions Olivia floating again. Banality, Dan…

The Parentals

This week, Rufus, donning a funny Joey Ramone costume, is in the Halloween spirit and buys a ton of candy to pass out to kids. But kids don’t trick or treat in the building so Lily pays Vanya to find kids to trick or treat on Rufus’s behalf. Although Rufus eventually catches on after the sixth kid, he still plays along and thanks Lily for the experience. I liked this storyline more than Dan’s ignorance or Blair’s infantile behavior.

So what did you guys think? Blair needs to grow up or not? Dan is an ignoramus or not? Jenny needs her ass kicked or not?

Chuck Bass is king no matter what you say.

Speak amongst yourselves! :D