Just like with anything, there are always people who are passionate about something beyond belief. Many topics have inside jokes and some lines that only those familiar with the ins and outs will understand. And today’s topic in question is no other than flower puns! We hope you’ll appreciate our collection of this colorful bunch of jokes.
They could also count as biology jokes, but you can view today’s post as a more focused group of nature jokes. This collection of short flower puns involves cacti, violets, and irises, as well as the places where they all live—beautiful gardens. While some entries on this list require more in-depth knowledge about botany, we’re sure you’ll still have a great laugh if you have at least some general knowledge about flowers.
Flowers are something that no person on Earth could despise. And honestly, how could they? All they do is bloom! So having some fun one-liners about them can only add to the beauty of nature. With spring jokes coming around only once a year, cute flower puns can brighten your days, even during the coldest winter nights.
So dig into this collection of funny flower puns and get a fresh wind gust of wonder! Not even jokes about bees can keep up with what we’re prepared today! As always, vote for your favorites and share them with family and friends. We’re sure one or two people in every friend group love flowers.
#1
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
#2
This morning my wife walked in and started hitting me with a bouquet of purple flowers…
She woke up and chose violets.
#3
What do you call a French baker’s favorite flower?
Croissanthemum.
#4
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was a garden variety.
#5
What’s a gardener’s go-to pick-up line?
“You’re simply iris-istible.”
#6
What type of flower would you give a saxophone player?
JAZZmine.
#7
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
#8
How do two flowers greet each other?
“Hey bud, how’s it growing?”
#9
I took a photo of my flower.
Now it can photosynthesize.
#10
Why is a flower like the letter “a”?
Because a bee goes after it.
#11
What flower is the biggest klutz?
A Whoopsi-Daisy.
#12
What did the rock say to the flower?
“Ok Bloomer.”
#13
Every daisy is better because of you.
#14
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
#15
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
“Take it or leaf it.”
#16
What do you call flowers who are BFFs?
Buds.
#17
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
#18
What does the youngest flower child say?
“Last bud not least!”
#19
My wife told me I planted the wrong flowers.
Oopsie daisy!
#20
What’s the best flower for a boy to give his mom for Mother’s Day?
Son-flowers of course!
#21
What’s Miley Cyrus’ alter ego in the flower world?
Hannah Lantana.
#22
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
#23
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
#24
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
#25
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
#26
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
#27
What’s an amnesiac sailor’s favorite flower?
Forget-me-knots.
#28
Stealing flowers is an awful crime.
It’s de-flora-ble.
#29
Where do drunk sea flowers go?
Alcoholics Anemones.
#30
If you were a flower, you’d be a damn-delion.
#31
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
#32
Did you hear about the flower that never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
#33
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
“Are you feeling bouquet?”
#34
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
“I be-leaf in you.”
#35
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
#36
A man in a flower shop was trying to pick the perfect bouquet for his wife.
He said, “It’s crazy how much money you gotta spend on something that’s just going to die.” I said, “I know… and you gotta buy them flowers too.”
#37
The password is flower…
But she keeps saying flour.
#38
Why did the king insist on lavender-scented food?
So his farts don’t stink.
#39
What is a bumblebee’s favorite flower?
The bee-gonia.
#40
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
#41
She didn’t date the gardener. He was too rough around the hedges.
#42
I really really lilac you.
#43
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
#44
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
#45
Roses are so friendly because they always thank you a bunch.
#46
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
#47
A peony for your thoughts?
#48
What do you get if you cross a monkey with a flower?
A chimp-pansy.
#49
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
#50
A guy gives flowers to all of his family. To his wife he gives roses, to his parents he gives orchids, to his daughters he gives daisies.
And to his sons he gives sunflowers.
#51
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
#52
What do flowers study in college?
Stem.
#53
Magician: “I can turn this handkerchief into a flower.”
Little boy: “That’s nothing. I can walk down the street and turn into an alley.”
#54
Wife: “Where did you put the flowers?”
Me: “In the door.”
Wife: “What? How?”
Me: “Relax, it’s easy because the door is ajar.”
#55
My buddy just got kicked out of his house. His wife was hinting at Valentine’s Day plans and asked him if he knew her favorite flower.
“Gold Medal All Purpose” apparently wasn’t the answer.
#56
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
“What’s up, little bud?”
#57
What do you call an inn opened by a flower and a chef?
A bud and breakfast.
#58
What did the bank-robbing flower say to its getaway driver?
“Floret!”
#59
What’s a flower’s favorite game to play on Halloween?
Light as a heather, stiff as a board.
#60
What do cartographers give to their loved ones on Valentine’s Day?
Probably compass roses.
#61
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
#62
Why did the rose stop dating the sunflower?
She only saw him as a frond.
#63
Did you hear about the flower which gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
#64
I love it when you call me big poppy.
#65
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
#66
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
#67
Begonia. Don’t stay.
#68
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
#69
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
#70
What do you call a flower that glows in the dark?
A light bulb.
#71
What do you get if you cross a bike with a flower?
Cycle petals.
#72
What is a flower’s favorite sci-fi movie?
Back to the fuschia.
#73
What do you call flora that act rowdy?
Wildflowers.
#74
Can’t you run any aster?
#75
He’s just a one-trick peony.
#76
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
“I was just pollen your leg!”
#77
What flower is on your face?
Your tulips.
#78
I had to buy our dog flowers…
Because I accidentally called him our old dog’s name.
#79
For Valentine’s Day, I received a bunch of flowers with the heads cut off.
I think I was being stalked.
#80
What did the dog do on his walk in the park?
Peony on this tree, peony on that tree.
#81
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog and a rose?
A collie-flower!
#82
What flower in the garden is fiercest of them all?
The tiger lily.
#83
What’s a pickle’s favorite type of flower?
The daffo-dill.
#84
Many gardeners suffer from hay fever. Isn’t that news a pollen?
#85
How do florists make their money? By petaling their goods, of course!
#86
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
#87
Did you hear that Simba got all dressed up?
You might say he was a real dandy-lion!
#88
I heard you were in a thorny situation, but I’m sure you’ll come out of it smelling like a rose.
#89
Why should you never buy flowers from a monk?
Because only you can prevent florist friars.
#90
Did you hear about the florist who died in an accident?
Turns out he was an Orchid donor.
#91
What did the flowers do when the bride walked down the aisle?
They rose.
#92
My wife complains that I never buy her flowers.
I didn’t even know she sold them!
#93
How did the old rose make a living?
She went from house to house petaling her wares.
#94
My fear of roses is a thorny issue. I’m not sure what it stems from, but I’m stuck with it.
#95
I’m wearing my comfrey sweatshirt and pyjama pants.
#96
I love flower-less cake.
#97
Light as a heather, stiff as a board.
#98
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
#99
What do you call Dracula with hayfever?
The pollen count.
#100
I’m lavender tunes that this DJ is playing!
#101
What in carnation?
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