Seinfeld is everyone’s favorite show about nothing. Though it has been off the air for more than 15 years, reruns of your best-loved episodes can be seen on television every weeknight. So what would this classic sitcom be like today? There is a Twitter account with the handle @SeinfeldToday that will post different scenarios for possible episodes if Seinfeld was still on the air. To date, there are over 795,000 tweets devoted to possible scenarios involving Jerry, Elaine, George, Kramer, and even Newman. We at TV Overmind decided to come up with a few of our own scenarios. Our apologies if one of these was already tweeted by @SeinfeldToday. We were not able to read all 795k tweets, but plan on it because they are so darn funny.
Kramer discovers Tinder
Kramer decides to give online dating a try. He stumbles upon a dating app on his phone called Tinder. He quickly scores a few dates with very beautiful women. George notices all the women Kramer keeps escorting to his apartment and instantly becomes jealous. He quickly downloads the app with no results. He becomes angered and insists that his phone is broken. He ventures to the AT&T store and alerts one of the associates of his broken phone. She quickly discovers he is on Tinder and quietly laughs at him. He spends $500 on a new phone, downloads the app, and is still never contacted. Jerry and Elaine decided to get in on the fun as well. To feed the flame, Elaine tries to pick up women and succeeds twice before George is ever contacted. In the end, George ends up purchasing 10 different phones and then tries to sell them all back to AT&T claiming they do not work. The same associate pulls up her Tinder account on the phone and is contacted by three guys in a matter of seconds. George grabs all ten phones and walks away.
Elaine takes a Zumba class
Elaine is conversing with a new co-worker. They are discussing New Year’s resolutions and Elaine admits that she wants to get into shape for 2015. The co-worker invites her to a Zumba class that she is teaching at a nearby gym. Elaine stops by Jerry’s apartment and the two research Zumba. They laugh at several YouTube videos. Jerry exclaims, “And what’s with those outfits?! That’s just too much color in one room. Too much color I tell you. It should be outlawed… all that color.” Elaine shows up to the class in grey sweats thinking she is in for an easy workout. In order to break the ice, she decides to show off some of her classic dance moves, but the class is not impressed. She quickly falls behind and ends up getting accidentally punched in the face by the girl next to her. As she goes to get some ice she finds Kramer teaching a Zumba class of his own in the room next door. Upon her discovery she exclaims, “You have got to be kidding me,” and pushes a worker carrying a bunch of towels. While this is all going on George is on an endless rant of how gyms make fun of overweight people and he refuses to go.
Jerry thinks his girlfriend is using him for his wifi
Jerry is dating a new girl. Just like all the others, she is very beautiful. Of course, there has to be something wrong with her. In this case, Jerry suspects that she is only dating him so she can access his wireless internet. Whenever she visits him, she always brings her laptop and asks if she can check her email really quick. In his stand-up comedy routine, Jerry pokes fun at the situation and compares his apartment to a Starbucks. He asks the audience, “Should I start spelling her name wrong on the coffee cup I give her too?” Jerry sends Elaine to go investigate what the girlfriend is doing when she is not with Jerry. Elaine thinks Jerry’s new girl has a gambling problem when she catches her on an online gambling site. They assume that is why she cannot be without her computer. Jerry confronts her at his apartment. She admits that she was on the site, but only because she was monitoring her mother’s gambling addiction. She ends up breaking up with Jerry. He is fine with it and tells Elaine, “They do say women turn into their mothers.”
George thinks he has Ebola
George arrives home from a much needed vacation of doing nothing all day. When he is heading through customs, he gets sneezed on by a woman standing behind him in line. Shortly after this happens, two police officers come up to the woman and ask her to come with them. George automatically assumes the worst. He had just read about the Ebola virus and thinks that he now has it. He rushes to Jerry’s apartment to tell him his theory. All Jerry could say was, “If you think you have the virus, why are you coming over here?” Elaine and Kramer hear that George might have Ebola so they stay away. The remainder of the episode involves George trying to locate the woman in the airport to see if she really has the virus. He is finally able to locate her and visits her home. He knocks on the door and she answers wearing a surgical mask. Before she can say anything, George runs away in fear. The woman shrugs her shoulders closes the door and returns to staining a piece of furniture in her home. A man walks in and says, “I am glad those nice police officers helped you lug this antique table from the airport to the cab. It looks beautiful.”
Newman starts his own charity
Newman is jealous of all the money the Salvation Army receives at Christmas time. He decides that he wants a little piece of the action too. He decides to create his own charity called Christmas Angels Saving Hospitals and sets up a bell ringing station right in front of the apartment complex where he, Jerry, and Kramer live. Newman will even accept checks for this charity and alerts patrons that they can simply write the initials of the charity on the check to make the transaction run more quickly. Jerry witnesses this and quickly realizes that the first letter of each word in the fake charity spells CASH. He calls the police and when they arrive, he escorts them over to the scene of the crime and greets his neighbor with a friendly, “Hello… Newman.”
What is your idea for a Seinfeld episode? Let us know in the comments sections below.
Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images for Baby Buggy
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