Desperate Housewives 6.05 “Everybody Ought To Have A Maid” Recap

The moral lesson of the week, peeps, is the concept of judgment: how to judge someone, being judged, and how you handle each position of the fence were all at play this last night on Wisteria Lane. I have always loved how Desperate Housewives starts my week off with a moral lesson, which I kind of look at as Sunday school with a bit of dressing up. Anyway, let’s get down to it.

Mommie Dearest

During a play date at Gaby’s house, one of Juanita’s friends named Rachel is ‘injured’while sliding down the steps in a suitcase with Juanita. Rachel’s mother, Laura (guest star Barbara Aly Woods), is none too pleased about Gaby’s role as a mother. She declares that Gaby is a bad mother after Gaby is nonchalant about the incident and de-invites Rachel from Juanita’s birthday party. Thus, the seeds are laid for social hierarchy in these little girl’s lives.

Gaby doesn’t care at first, but after getting declined invitations to the party from parents in the neighborhood, she decides to take matters into her own hands and needs Carlos’money to achieve her goal, which he reluctantly coughs up. Gaby later gloats in front of Laura, Laura’s friends, and, most importantly, their children about all the fun things Juanita will have at her party, which includes a clown, a bouncy house, and a monkey. The entertainment is too great for any kid to miss and the kids beg their moms to let them go to the party. Gaby so wins this round.

At the party, Laura still doesn’t trust leaving Rachel in Gaby’s care and only does it, because Susan is there. As if that would make it any better.

Juanita gets upset that the monkey wrangler is about to take the monkey away for a nap. Gaby, having ‘paid for two hours of monkey’, demands that the monkey stay the allotted time or there will be consequences. But this is Wisteria Lane and shenanigans are a must. So while Gaby and Susan have a drink in the front yard, the kids from the party start screaming and running from the backyard. Turns out that Mr. Monkey, being cranky from lack of sleep, attacked the clown for popping a balloon in his face and scared the kids. Of course, angry parents show up, including Laura, to drag their kids away.

Later that night, Gaby dejectedly feels that Laura is right: she is a bad mother. Carlos, being a role model to me again last night, disagrees. He says that Gaby has taught Juanita and Celia how to be independent, resourceful girls who don’t need someone over them babying them every five minutes. He proves his point by bringing up how Celia played dead and Juanita locked herself in the balloon house during the monkey attack, which is a damn good observation, IMHO. I never thought that Gaby was a bad mother, but that she just has bad kids whose father let them get away with a lot. Laura was being overly judgmental if you ask me…

Stand By Your Man and Not Lead!

Doing a favor for Mrs. Cluskey, Lynette hires Roy (guest star Orson Bean) as a handyman so that Roy can have pocket money and not feel kept by Mrs. McCluskey. Then there is the epic TMI (too much information) about the favor being a big help in Roy and Mrs. McCluskey’s sex life. Moving on…

Roy turns out to be a hit with the Scavos, until he goes over Lynette’s head about a request for some flowerbeds that he feels that Tom should have the last word on. Lynette later asks for a bird’s nest to be put in a certain location in the yard, despite Tom asking for it to be placed in another location. Roy calls Tom to make sure where he wants it and Lynette has had enough and confronts Roy about his chauvinistic attitude and he says that Tom is the man of the house and that she should respect that and stop busting his balls. Lynette gets furious and fires Roy.

Later, Lynette talks to Tom about Roy’s shenanigans Tom laughs about it, but later goes to talk to Roy on why he lets’Lynette ‘control’him. He says that he does it, because Lynette needs to feel safe since her dad walked out during her early childhood, which leads her into always worrying that things are going to fall apart if she doesn’t have some sort of control over them. In short, Tom says that his duty as a husband is to make sure Lynette is safe and if that’s what it takes then so be it. Roy tells Tom that he is a good man and gets his lesson of the week.

It Takes A Sinner To Know A Sinner

Bree and Karl get ready to leave from Room 217, which I am so going to play for my lottery number today, and a maid (guest star Aisha Hinds) comes in ready to clean. When Bree asks the maid to help her find her earring, she gets a call from Orson and lies about her whereabouts, which the maid overhears. When Bree tries to tip the maid after finding her earring, the maid blows her of with a comment about ‘dying to get home to your husband’. Bree is none to pleased at all about that to the point where it bothers her even during her dinner with Orson. The scene made me want to puke, because I don’t like when people feel that being in the service industry strips you of any rights as a person. Bree and Orson sounded like the utmost condescending snobs last night. Having said that, the maid was being a little nosy. Anyway, Bree almost let slip that she was at the hotel, but covers that it was a café. After masking what happened at the hotel, Orson suggests she goes back and demands for respect. Whoa, Kimosabi… That’s like asking for trouble for most people.

But Bree does this and the maid simply says that cheating is a sin and that Bree must think it’s ok only if ‘you wear pearls’. Bree loses this round. But Bree isn’t some unassertive chickadee and she realizes something that I didn’t catch on to. So on the next visit, Bree asks if the maid’s husband cheated on her, which is why she is so against Bree’s affair with Karl. The maid is appalled and leaves, but comes back to say that it was in fact herself that cheated and now she has no husband nor a lover to support her, hence her working at the hotel. Bree admits that what she is doing is wrong, but that Orson is not making it easy, despite him being the ‘victim’in the relationship. In the end, Bree continues her affair, but you can tell that it’s bothering her a bit.

Three Women and a Little Crazy

Julie Mayer comes home from the hospital and the entire neighborhood is there to see her return, especially Nic ‘Bolen’. When he tries to tell her how much he missed her, Julie calls off the relationship. Danny sees this and leaves the party, with Nic on his heels. When Nic tries to talk ‘father-son’style, Danny blows up and tells Nic that if he sees Nic near Julie again that he will go tell Angie. Nic calls Danny out on his bluff and tells his son that Angie is not the innocent person Danny thinks she is.

Meanwhile, Susan hears from Bree about Katherine coming on to Mike, something that Mike kind of forgot to mention to Susan during all of the Julie drama. Susan feels that she has to suit up for an impending smackdown, but Mike tells Susan to let it be.

Later during a Neighborhood Watch meeting, Mike is giving out instructions and Katherine is one flick of a wrist from pulling out a vibrator; she is that into his speech. Susan notices this and plants a huge kiss on Mike in front of everyone. She then takes assignments for neighborhood watch and purposely leaves Katherine out of the volunteers.

When Katherine confronts Susan about missing her raised hand, Susan says that she doesn’t negotiate with liars and Katherine shows to everyone how crazy she is by claiming that Susan and Mike’s marriage is on the rocks and uses Mike’s impromptu plumbing assignment as an excuse. I am not doing the crazy any justice, just letting you know.

Meanwhile, Danny approaches Julie about if she thinks her boyfriend was the one who attacked her. She claims that she doesn’t think that he would do such a thing, but I think I heard doubt in her voice. But that’s just me. When she voices that she is scared to sleep at night out of fear of her attacker returning, Danny offers some help. The help? A gun, which he pulls from a box filled with rolls of hundred dollar bills and passports. Hmmmm….

Later in the middle of the night, Julie screams and Susan runs to find Julie at the front door holding the gun. Julie declares that someone is outside and sure enough there is silhouette walking round not formally making his or her presence known. Mike is gone on a plumbing job, so Susan has to take control of the situation. She yells that she has a gun and has called the cops, the latter being a lie. The person doesn’t answer and makes their way to the window when Susan freaks and pulls the trigger. The person she hits?

Katherine.

Susan and other neighbors run to help the crazy wench, who immediately says that Susan tried to kill her. When Susan asksKatherine what was she doing out there in the first place, Katherine claims that Tom had to study and she took over his Neighborhood Watch schedule. I smell a lie. The bullet only grazed Katherine’s arm, but she wants the police there and now. Nic Bolen goes to call them, but after he explains to his family what happened, Danny freaks and tells them that he gave Julie the gun from their stash. Nic claims that the gun can be traced back to their actual names and Angie, always quick on her feet, comes up with plan.

Angie tends to Katherine with a First Aid kit and talks Katherine out of calling the cops on Susan by playing into Katherine’s crazy notion that Mike is still in love with her. Angie tells Katherine to take the high road and not call the police and let everyone see Susan as the monster. Katherine, delighted that someone sees her plight (gag!), agrees to not go after Susan. Nic comes in to check in on the ladies and to show Angie that he got the gun. Those ‘Bolens’are pretty damn smart.

Observations

– So ‘The Bolens’might be running from the cops, or some crooked cops. Why else would they not want the cops involved with a little misunderstanding? Even though Julie is old enough to date older men, it just seems icky to me still. Cougardom and Sugar Daddies are in this season on TV.

-Everything else was more self-contained this week and I got my moral lesson, so what about you? Any thoughts?